MJ... I guess that wisdom is learned over time. Damn you are smart! Actually, your paragraphs are spot on. Bobism is the way of his walk. Some folks can see the forest through the trees, and you Sir, are one of those blessed individuals. You have given so much great advice to this community...
Marvin... I understood your postings from the beginning.
Chris... What a kind, and generous offer. I have always appreciated your influence here. All of the Inland Northwest Fiero families have offered a place to stay until we could figure out a plan. Aaron Koch, Fieroking, and Dogcreek have all been the best of friends, and I would do anything for any of their families. The support that we have right now helps immensly.
You all have helped immensly! I cannot give anymore positives today, but will continue on with them in the morning, after the court hearing. The words, and feeling that you are relaying here, will make me a better individual. There is always room for improvement, and I hope that I always treat you with the respect and dignity that you folks have shown here.
I will post back after the court appearance, and will definately let the community know about the outcome.
Tony Kania
I hope that my writings haven't been to difficult to read. I haven't done much proof reading, and my pounding on the keys is theraputic. Correcting grammar hurts.
Page three. I wish that I never had a page one.
[This message has been edited by Tony Kania (edited 05-06-2011).]
I've been in that situation several times even in civilian life. People don't brandish weapons without the will and intent to use them. I was lucky that they were not firearms. (ballbat, cuestick and a knife). Certailnly have Plan A, but when seconds count, the police are minutes away.
Is BOB capable of murder? I think everyone is under the right circumstances. When the law gets involved, I think he will not calm down for long if at all, but will just get angry, seeth and wait for his chance to present itself. He's old, derainged, and I doubt he feels he has anything left to lose.
And Tony--get an attorney. If for no other reason than to sue the livin crap out old BOB. The attorney will know upon what what grounds to file.
[This message has been edited by maryjane (edited 05-06-2011).]
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12:05 AM
DeLorean00 Member
Posts: 4251 From: Sacramento, CA / Reno, NV Registered: Aug 2005
Well said, Don. I could have NEVER said it better.
Tony,
I'm a little late to this, but all I can say is.......stay strong and alert. You don't seem the type to quit, so I know that won't happen . You've got a defensless son to take care of now ( obviously you know that ). I hope and pray that your new family will make it through this ordeal unharrmed mentally and physically and have a wonderful life together.
You know that old sayin' though......."blood is thicker than water". I hope in this case it doesn't ring true.
Best wishes and prayers for you, Amy, and Benjamin.
Also, if you decide to move......Kentucky's not a bad place to live. Be glad to have ya here, brother.
Terrible situation to be in, and almost impossible to handle correctly, because the other Party is ensuring that. I admire your behaviour Tony. And that behaviour is only making it more difficult for YOU Some people use somebody else's sensible and rational behaviour against THEM, and that is sly and cunning. What worries me most, is does Benjamin know what is going on around him? Does he love his Grandpa AND you? That would tear the poor little Soul apart. Remember...the love of a child for somebody whom an adult can see is bad for them is uninformed, and unreasonable to that adult...and VERY difficult to handle. Children of that age are very impressionable, and not at all logical. They haven't learned yet, to understand the difference between a 'good' person and a 'bad' person. Especially when the Mother seems to take the side of the 'bad' person Has Amy witnessed her father's behaviour toward you firsthand, or is she only getting secondhand information from both yourself, AND her father? IMHO, if she HAS witnessed it, and STILL protects her father instead of you, I doubt that will change. I hope I am wrong. Take care Tony, and best wishes for a happy outcome Nick
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07:20 AM
Marvin McInnis Member
Posts: 11599 From: ~ Kansas City, USA Registered: Apr 2002
Is BOB capable of murder? I think everyone is under the right circumstances. When the law gets involved, I think he will not calm down for long if at all, but will just get angry, seeth and wait for his chance to present itself. ... I doubt he feels he has anything left to lose.
And Tony--get an attorney.
I agree with all of the above.
Everyone is reluctant to retain an attorney, if for no other reason than the cost. But an attorney (and probably more than one) is going to be involved sooner or later, so it's probably better to get him/her involved now rather than later. One example: Guardianship, custody, and/or visitation with Benjamin is virtually guaranteed to come up before this is over. This is NOT something you want to try to navigate pro se (by yourself).
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11:05 AM
aaronkoch Member
Posts: 1643 From: Spokane, WA Registered: Aug 2003
I'm glad you decided to stay in town, call me when you've got some free time.
I know you know what I believe, and what really makes me upset about this whole situation is that God's reputation is getting slammed by a man that claims to serve him.
Thanks to the other believers on PFF who chimed in, and here's my 2c:
The first is this, Matthew 22:34-40, the most important thing for us as humans to do, according to Jesus himself:
34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
And the second thing I'd say (which might be helpful when talking to Amy, since it sounds like she believes in God):
From Matthew 7:
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ....... 15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
Just so you know, Tony, I love God, and our family loves you, Amy, and Benjamin. Any resource I have that can help your family is at your disposal, and it is my sincere prayer that this whole situation will in the end bring you all closer as a family. Most of all, please know that Bob is not representing God correctly. ------------------
Amy and I are having a difficult time with this, and I just couldn't file an order of protection. She is going to tell her father just where he stands. I will never be involved in his life.
I want to type more, but am just mentally destroyed. I will tell more later. Sorry.
Seriously, I better buy some beers for your folks. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..........................................................................
Tony
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04:09 PM
PFF
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May 7th, 2011
Tony Kania Member
Posts: 20794 From: The Inland Northwest Registered: Dec 2008
Amy and I are stronger than ever. All of this is so very confusing, and taxing on the mind and body. I weighed 194 lbs on Easter, and today I am 180! I haven't been that weight in a couple of years, and hate it.
Amy is going to sit down with her father, and try to get some closure to this. I want nothing to do with him, and there will be none. If Amy chooses to see him, well, that is her father. I never would keep her froom that, and actually, would never "tell" Amy what to do. She spoke with friends, and family, and we have come to an agreement on how to handle this. She was able to read this thread, and I THANK YOU ALL FOR THAT. It really helped to have so many of you on the same page. I owe a debt of gratitude.
Leave the door open for her father and yourself to reconcile. As unlikely as it might seem now, it would be better in the long run. It's still possible for him to realize he went overboard (understatement.)
Either way, it's good to hear you and Amy are working this out. I'll cross my fingers and face north for you!
[This message has been edited by TK (edited 05-07-2011).]
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01:47 PM
Hulki U. My-BFF Member
Posts: 5949 From: Back home in East Berlin, PA Registered: Apr 2008
Leave the door open for her father and yourself to reconcile.
There is NO way that's going to happen. Not because tony wouldn't let it happen, but because I would be willing to bet when Wacko Bob is set on something, there is no way of ever truly changing his opinion. Pull a gun to my face (he would be dead), call my son a bastard and illegitimate, and continually harass me or my family? There would be no room for reconciliation. Bob is beyond professional help and honestly just needs to be put away. I truly believe he will not stop until you are hurt or dead, Tony. I firmly believe nothing will ever make him happy until then, either. This man is not only a danger to you, but also to your son. Just saying what he did about Benjamin proves he doesn't really give a rats ass about him.
I know what Amy means to you, Tony. And you sacrificed to be with her. But if she ever comes back and chooses that man over you agian, you need to cut your losses and let her go. Staying with her only puts you and Benjamin in danger, and if she can't see that, she is blind. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but it's the truth.
PLEASE Tony, you are a friend, I don't want to see you or Benjamin get hurt or worse, so if there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. PLEASE keep your head on straight and think this through many steps ahead.
Not much I can add to this thread. I just wanted you to know I've been thinking about you. Please be careful. Plus, breathe, you don't need to go through more health issues with this looming over your head. For me action helps, sitting and worrying only makes it worse. Glad you went to the police!!
Take care, I know you'll do everything in your power to protect your little one! Make sure you're still around to see it okay??
Dar
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07:42 AM
hugh Member
Posts: 5563 From: Clementon,NJ,USA Registered: Jun 2000
Not much I can add to this thread. I just wanted you to know I've been thinking about you. Please be careful. Plus, breathe, you don't need to go through more health issues with this looming over your head. For me action helps, sitting and worrying only makes it worse. Glad you went to the police!!
Take care, I know you'll do everything in your power to protect your little one! Make sure you're still around to see it okay??
Actually, your paragraphs are spot on. Bobism is the way of his walk. Some folks can see the forest through the trees, and you Sir, are one of those blessed individuals. You have given so much great advice to this community... 
Some people use somebody else's sensible and rational behaviour against THEM, and that is sly and cunning.
