quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Nope, I don't have any sisters. Two daughters, ones taken, the other one thinks she's never going to meet a guy thats into cars, works on cars, treats her nice, and can use power tools. She meets a lot of metrosexuals who don't even know where to put oil in their car. She hates that!

Too bad most of us are too darned old . . . .

Page three . . . .

[This message has been edited by Indiana_resto_guy (edited 08-01-2010).]

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Nope, I don't have any sisters. Two daughters, ones taken, the other one thinks she's never going to meet a guy thats into cars, works on cars, treats her nice, and can use power tools. She meets a lot of metrosexuals who don't even know where to put oil in their car. She hates that!

Too bad shes not my age. LOL

I'd kill to find a woman who likes to turn wrenches and use power tools -- with me-- as well do non car stuff too. LOL

Women like that are what Fosters commercials calls: "Keepers."

[This message has been edited by htexans1 (edited 08-01-2010).]

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Nope, I don't have any sisters. Two daughters, ones taken, the other one thinks she's never going to meet a guy thats into cars, works on cars, treats her nice, and can use power tools. She meets a lot of metrosexuals who don't even know where to put oil in their car. She hates that!

Send her my way!!! No wait, still old for her, damn my luck !!!

Onto the subject on hand. Have your husband give this guy a chore list to help pull his weight around the house, and make it a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong list. Have your husband deliver the list since it is his idea for this guy to be at your house. Next keep adding to the list and make it clear the only way to get out of doing the chores on the list is by getting off his dead a$$, get a job and move out.

I think the situation is really between Dar & Tom.
Tom is trying to be a hero for this guy (deserving or not is a separate issue), but Dar is left with all the inconvenances.
Dar, you are in a very tricky spot.

Tell you husband that the situation is becomming hard on you.
You would really like a due-date.
Then throw some of that "Dar Sugar" up on him, and make it sting.
That should do it.

Update for anyone who was wondering.

Still driving me nuts. The cut off date from my husband is Halloween. lol

These are some of the things I go through....

Tom came home in really bad mood last week, his phone wouldn't work. Tom runs out to get phone fixed, I say to this guy, boy, he's in a good mood. He said, get this, "well, I guess it's something we have to deal with" WE, since when did this become a WE???

We have my daughter's dog with us right now, she's flying, he's getting ticked off because someone is here and he's not getting any attention. So he's been peeing on the floor as payback. Nice thing to come home to every day. Do you think he would try to clean it up. I came home today, and he said this. "Jersey must have gone to the bathroom on the floor again when I was gone." (he was actually out of the house) Do you think he could try to clean it up. The steam cleaner is right there!! It's amazing to me that someone would freaking sit in someones house and smell the pee and not do a damn thing about it.

Got home from work on Monday, looked like it was going to rain. So I came in, said hi, took the dogs out, and gave them treats. Ran upstairs to change clothes, told him I'm heading out to try to cut the grass before it rained. (he was sitting at computer again) What's he say, yeah, it is looking pretty dark. Go out cut the grass, come in soaking wet, it started pouring when I was on the back yard. Came in and of course the dog pee'd. I'm dripping wet, breaking out the steam cleaner, swearing up a storm, frustrated beyond belief, and what does he say when I turn off the steam cleaner? Did he pee again? NO DIPSHIT, I ENJOY STEAM CLEANING THE CARPETS EVERY DAY!!! Okay, I only thought that, I said yeah, and he asked where, where the hell do you think, idiot. Told him the same freaking place he always goes.....

Geeze is it me, or would it hurt him to take the dog out more? One day I came home, it took me awhile to get into the house, had groceries. Well he's up off the computer making it look like he took the dog out, I know he saw me pull in and hurried out with the dogs.

I went to print out a new recipe I wanted to try. No ink in the laser printer. He's used it all up, we have stacks and stacks of job ads he's printed up. So he started using the other printer, the photo one. Guess how much we have to fork out for new printer cartridges. They are about $75 a piece! I'm a bit miffed about that too. He went out and bought staples though when he used them all up. Wasn't that sweet....

I got my revenge on Sunday, didn't cook at all. Didn't make breakfast, Tom called him to make a sandwich for lunch. Didn't make dinner, screw it, there's 3 adults here, why am I the only one that has to make all the decisions for dinner. I told Tom he's in charge, at 7 he's looking in the pantry getting frustrated. I sat and watched. Asked him later how he liked what I go through every day, frustrating isn't it? I got no answer. lol I couldn't stand it anymore at 7:45 and asked if anyone wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. (wtf is wrong with me) then I made myself popcorn for dinner.....

This guy had a second interview today for a job. Please keep your fingers crossed!! I need this for my own sanity!! Tom knows a manager there, hopefully he will get the job!

And life goes on......I just hate to come home anymore..... is it halloween yet????

I'm still trying to understand why he is living with you guys when he has a home and wife / kids already. Are they separated? Getting divorced? Who is taking care of the wife and kids in his absence (maybe the pool boy)? It makes no sense to me.

I honestly think your new roommate suffers from "HUA Syndrome" (HUA pronounced like "Hoo-ah", stands for Head Up yer Arse). Maybe for Halloween, you can dress up as the Grim Reaper, and tell him his time is up... LOL.

quote Originally posted by Blacktree: I'm still trying to understand why he is living with you guys when he has a home and wife / kids already. Are they separated? Getting divorced? Who is taking care of the wife and kids in his absence (maybe the pool boy)? It makes no sense to me. I honestly think your new roommate suffers from "HUA Syndrome" (HUA pronounced like "Hoo-ah", stands for Head Up yer Arse). Maybe for Halloween, you can dress up as the Grim Reaper, and tell him his time is up... LOL.

Hi ya Mike!

The way it was explained to me was he's here because he can't stand Missouri. No, him and his wife aren't separted or getting a divorce, he just couldn't live out there anymore without wanting to kill himself. I think what it boils down to, he was working at Wal-mart slicing lunchmeat, hated his job, couldn't figure out how to get a decent job, and he came running back to the only guy that has helped him throughout his life.

Other than that, I can't explain it. I think it's pretty crappy that he left his wife out there with a sick grandmother and sick mother. But, whatever...

Can I dress up like the grimm reaper now?? Good one!!

[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 08-25-2010).]

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Still driving me nuts. The cut off date from my husband is Halloween. lol

Halloween?! Are you nuts?! You couldn't say Labor Day? WTF

Oh Dar, you're going to be sooooo messed up by the time he leaves, that's if he leaves, he's going to be there until Christmas or later, oh man, you watch.

Man alive, I can tell that you're losing all patiance in your posts, just as long as you vent here instead of venting with a right cross on his kisser! (I'd pay to see that) No, don't do that because he'll sue you and you'll be his maid and butler for life. (nothing's changed there)

I'm soooooo praying he gets that job already, not for him but for YOU.

Wow, I'm still shaking my head in total amazement that he's still there! Wow.

Honey, I'm SO sorry for you. Do you want to come down to my house for a while? You & my wife could go to the beach or something. I've got an extra room, we could let you stay. Heck, you could commute from here. See how long it takes them to realize you're not there.

Seriously, I'm not too far from Long Beach Island. My wife would love to meet you, I'm sure.

Tom, I'm holding it together, it helps to vent. Just frustrated beyond belief. As for the patience, yeah, I have none what so ever!! He's got another job interview today with a different company, but we think he has the first job. So, looks like his days of staying here are numbered.

Zeb, that's so sweet of you to invite me to stay with you two! Close to LBI, huh? So tempting, but then that would probably be the end of my marriage. I don't think Tom would be too keen on that. I appreciate the offer though!! You're a sweetheart!!!

I always feel better after venting with you guys...what would I do without you??

quote Originally posted by jetman: Halloween?! Are you nuts?! You couldn't say Labor Day? WTF Oh Dar, you're going to be sooooo messed up by the time he leaves, that's if he leaves, he's going to be there until Christmas or later, oh man, you watch. Man alive, I can tell that you're losing all patiance in your posts, just as long as you vent here instead of venting with a right cross on his kisser! (I'd pay to see that) No, don't do that because he'll sue you and you'll be his maid and butler for life. (nothing's changed there) I'm soooooo praying he gets that job already, not for him but for YOU. Wow, I'm still shaking my head in total amazement that he's still there! Wow.

Keep up the non cooking for a couple days in a row. It'll move into laundry and other cleaning. Tell Tom it would never have happened if the 'friend' was there and it will interfere with your relationship, it already has and it's getting worse.
Either that since he's acting like a teenager, go overboard and start treating him like one. Stop beating around the bush and flat out start giving him chores.

Dar, come stay with us in Colorado. It is 40 degrees right now at 5am and I saw a dusting of snow on the back side of Pikes Peak last week so fall is in the air. We have to sleep under blankets and yesterday I almost turned on the heat! Judy is baking cakes and pastries next week and she would like some supervision or company. All she gets from me is "Can I lick the bowl?"

You and Tom are too nice. Even if my old Vietnam buddy came to stay with us, I'd tell him to pull his own weight and we're as close as I am with my brother. Forgive me for saying so, but your "guest" needs to hear some of your frustration. There is NO WAY any man here on this forum would let you mow the lawn in the rain after work. I don't think he can still be called a guest. As a member of the household, he needs to pull his own weight.

Your sister's problems finding a guy sounds like my daughter's situation. She had me on the phone for three hours recently complaining about "mama's boys" metrosexuals and men in their 40s, who live in their mama's basement and look to be 10 months pregnant. For her, turning wrenches is for the Volvo dealership or for her Dad in an emergency. Keep venting because it helps.

quote Originally posted by starlightcoupe: Dar, come stay with us in Colorado. It is 40 degrees right now at 5am and I saw a dusting of snow on the back side of Pikes Peak last week so fall is in the air. We have to sleep under blankets and yesterday I almost turned on the heat! Judy is baking cakes and pastries next week and she would like some supervision or company. All she gets from me is "Can I lick the bowl?" You and Tom are too nice. Even if my old Vietnam buddy came to stay with us, I'd tell him to pull his own weight and we're as close as I am with my brother. Forgive me for saying so, but your "guest" needs to hear some of your frustration. There is NO WAY any man here on this forum would let you mow the lawn in the rain after work. I don't think he can still be called a guest. As a member of the household, he needs to pull his own weight. Your sister's problems finding a guy sounds like my daughter's situation. She had me on the phone for three hours recently complaining about "mama's boys" metrosexuals and men in their 40s, who live in their mama's basement and look to be 10 months pregnant. For her, turning wrenches is for the Volvo dealership or for her Dad in an emergency. Keep venting because it helps.

Richard, that was my daughter, I don't have a sister! LOL We even have kids that are the same.

40 degrees sounds wonderful. It's getting back into the 90's again next week. I can't wait until it turns a bit cooler, then I can try those recipes you and your wife sent me!! I can't wait!! If I'm ever in Colorado, I'm definetely looking you guys up!! I'll keep your wife company and even help if she needs it, which I'm sure she wouldn't.

He's at another job interview today, hopefully one of them will pan out. I really do think he has the first job though, he said he would find out no later than Monday. Keep your fingers crossed!

As for cutting the grass in the rain, if Tom was home from work he wouldn't have let me do it. But he has (when I used to drive my own car to deliver mail) tossed me a set of spark plugs and told me here you go, have fun putting them in, and watched me out the window when I was changing my tire. lol

Hey Darlene!

Just dicovered this thread. Sorry to hear about your pest problem. I know a few good exterminators.

Sometimes, our homes are not ours and we have to accept that from time to time. But if the guy is not pulling his weight then you should bring it up with Tom and get him to make his friend participate with some chores.

Hope all the rest is good!

How's it going?

You could come stay in Florida for a few days, the grass is up and the carpet needs cleaned.

Hang in there it will pass.

I can't even totally read all of your posts about this dead beat without wanting to punch my screen. He'd been bounced off of every wall in the house before going out the front door. I am suprised that you've held your tongue this long, Dar. I hope that you can rectify the situation soon.

"This is mission control,,,,, we're approaching T minus 5 weeks, 2 days and counting,,,,, requesting status check at this time please."

I was wondering why Hugh called me a couple of days ago. You bumped it up to the top. lol I just got home from a trip to VA beach so I didn't see this earlier.

He's still here, but Tom got him a job, so he works from 2am till 11am. Weird hours, which means he's in bed most days by 3 or 4. I don't see him all that much anymore. Tom's ultimate goal was to have him here until our vacation was over so he could watch the dogs. Well he helped, but I got one of the guys from work to do most of the heavy lifting! He sleeps ALL the time and there was no way in heck he could have watched them. With that, Tom's finally fed up, plus I'm sure he's gotten a paycheck by now, so he's going to tell him to get an apt.

I'll let you know when that happens, hopefully it's before Thanksgiving!!

Thanks for wondering about me Dan! It means a lot!

Dar

Jake, you should have let me know before I came home, I was closer to FL then!!
Paul, it's okay, I'm calming down a bit now, don't see him as much so it's better! You need to calm yourself too!! lol
Tom, I'll let you know when it's T-minus 2 days!! I'll be jumping with joy!!

[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 09-25-2010).]

Good luck with this situation - been in one very similar except my best friend (no longer best friend) had his girlfriend over. Come to find out, they conceived their child on my new couch without using any blankets or anything and they spilled food & drink and conveniently forgot to mention anything let alone clean it (That was their gtfo of my apartment gift)...

-Rich

[This message has been edited by stogoski (edited 09-25-2010).]

Dar, I feel for you. My wife let someone stay in our house for the summer probably 10 years ago when she lost her house. It was the worst summer of my life. I couldn't feel at home in my own home. I was so glad when she left. My wife and I learned a very important lesson though, never make a decision without the 100% backing of each other. Good luck with your 'vagrant'

Doug

quote With that, Tom's finally fed up, plus I'm sure he's gotten a paycheck by now, so he's going to tell him to get an apt.

Can I have his room?

Thanks Rich, sounds like you had it worse than me. He's not bringing anyone home. Welcome to the forum!
Thanks to you too Doug, it is a bit difficult, but hopefully we can still remain friends afterward.
Don, of course you can have his room, but I think you would be bored without Jane and that great piece of property you guys own!

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: I'll let you know when that happens, hopefully it's before Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving?! You couldn't say Columbus Day?! What happened to Halloween?

He's got a job so that's the good part, here's hoping he's out of there soon.

Out by Thanksgiving, huh? What, you guys gonna feed him one last good meal before tossin' him to the curb?

quote Originally posted by kyunderdawg: Out by Thanksgiving, huh? What, you guys gonna feed him one last good meal before tossin' him to the curb?

The gormet meal goes to the locksmith changing the door locks.

Hi Tom, I'm hoping he's out by Thanksgiving, of course I'll invite him back for dinner, but it would be nice if he left after dinner! Besides my daughter, her husband and my two grandkids might come up, we need the room!!

Paul, last meal before he leaves huh? It's funny, when the hubby and I were in Walmart a few days ago, he saw a set of cheap dishes. He said, we should get these for Kirk when he moves out. I just looked at him and said, "I think we've done enough for him"

He did get something in the mail from an apartment complex, so I know he's looking, but I wouldn't think it would take that long to find an apartment.

Thanks for thinking of me guys. Things are better now that he's working and not a permanent fixture on the computer chair and couch.

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Hi Tom, I'm hoping he's out by Thanksgiving, of course I'll invite him back for dinner, but it would be nice if he left after dinner! Besides my daughter, her husband and my two grandkids might come up, we need the room!! Paul, last meal before he leaves huh? It's funny, when the hubby and I were in Walmart a few days ago, he saw a set of cheap dishes. He said, we should get these for Kirk when he moves out. I just looked at him and said, "I think we've done enough for him" He did get something in the mail from an apartment complex, so I know he's looking, but I wouldn't think it would take that long to find an apartment. Thanks for thinking of me guys. Things are better now that he's working and not a permanent fixture on the computer chair and couch.

Dar, you and Tom are just too nice. I surely hope he is gone long before Turkey Day. I almost came up with some other references to turkeys but decided against it. Good to see you posting here and that you see the end is in sight. Then you can make the croissants for you, Tom, daughter and family.

I sure hope he gets gone soon Dar, so you can get your sanity back and be the maid for the holidays!!
At least the carpets will be clean (mostly).
Do you think he will offer anything for back rent or occupancy?

Yeah, it will be nice to finally try the recipe you sent me!! It's all printed up and ready to be used!!!

Do I ever think he will pay us back in some way? No, I don't, and if he tried to, I'm sure Tom wouldn't accept it. It really isn't the money we are forking out for him to live here, it's the principle of the matter. If I was ever in need and someone was nice enough to let me live at their house to help me out, I would do anything in my power to make things better for them in return. Clean the house, cook, make dinner, freaking clean up the dog mess instead of pointing to it and telling me that's where he pee'd. I think that's what bothers me the most, maybe it's just me, cuz it really doesn't bother my husband. He tells me he knows what's going on in his mind, but I don't know him... It's almost over (hopefully) Then things can get back to normal around here.

I actually think Tom ticked him off to the point of him staying out until he has to go to sleep. One night he woke up and saw us leaving. WE were going out to dinner, but Kirk thought I was going to work. It was 6:30 at night. We got home around 7:30 and his car was gone. I just thought maybe he had to go somewhere, he was in bed by 12:30 when I got home from work. Tom called him and he was in a panic, he thought it was 6:30 in the morning and he was late for work. I heard Tom trying to explain that it was still Monday night and not Tuesday morning, he didn't believe him for awhile. Finally after 10 minutes of him argueing with Tom and finally listening to him he realized it was Monday night, not Tuesday morning. So he came back to sleep for a few more hours. When he got back, Tom told him to stop getting up so early. He gets up at 10:30 to be at work at 2am. He leaves the house around 11:30 and gets to work by 1. Tom told him to sleep till midnight get up and go. It only takes 45 min tops to get to where he works. Tom said why waste time sitting in your car drinking coffee, when you can sleep a little longer, wake up more refreshed, drink your coffee on the way there and still be there on time. He stood in the hallway looking pissed. Tom was trying to help, but he doesn't care. He still gets up early and is in there a hour or more before work. So, at least he's avoiding us....lol. It makes it easier.

There are a ton more stories I could tell, I actually threw a bag of hot dog buns at him one night. I just made hamburgers and hot dogs and he had a hamburger and was staring at the hot dog like the dog does. I saw him and finally I couldn't take it any more. I picked up the bag of hot dog buns, told him, Kirk you're killing me, just take what you want to eat and threw the bag at him.

Hopefully not much longer....it really helped that I had a place to vent. I appreciate you guys listening to me, or I probably wouldn't have any hair left on my head.

Hugs to you all!!

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Paul, last meal before he leaves huh? It's funny, when the hubby and I were in Walmart a few days ago, he saw a set of cheap dishes. He said, we should get these for Kirk when he moves out. I just looked at him and said, "I think we've done enough for him"

Heh, I knew you'd want to repay him for all of the things he's done for you guys with letting him stay just a little bit longer and to bid him fairwell with one last nice dinner. [ ducks for cover ]

[This message has been edited by kyunderdawg (edited 10-11-2010).]

quote Originally posted by jetman: Halloween?! Are you nuts?! You couldn't say Labor Day? WTF

quote Originally posted by jetman: Thanksgiving?! You couldn't say Columbus Day?! What happened to Halloween?

Start Christmas shopping for him,,,,,

OMG!!!

He is STILL there!
Wow, my hats off to you Dar. I have tried in years past to help a friend get on track. But if I let him he would still be living with me. Heck when I moved to Canada and got married, he kept begging me for a ticket to move up!!!!

If you need me to come up and drag him outta your house... you just say the word

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: There are a ton more stories I could tell, I actually threw a bag of hot dog buns at him one night. I just made hamburgers and hot dogs and he had a hamburger and was staring at the hot dog like the dog does. I saw him and finally I couldn't take it any more. I picked up the bag of hot dog buns, told him, Kirk you're killing me, just take what you want to eat and threw the bag at him.

edit: worthy of my 7500th post

[This message has been edited by Gokart Mozart (edited 10-12-2010).]

quote Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Yeah, it will be nice to finally try the recipe you sent me!! It's all printed up and ready to be used!!!

I haven't posted because this hits too close to home, but I wanted to say I have a LOT of respect for you for the way you are handling the situation. I think the guy needs to go, because he's been there long enough to feel like he's not visiting anymore, if you know what I mean. Days and weeks will peel away without stopping and then he's been there a year or two. Set a hard deadline with your husband to get the guy out.

Also google what Lampreys are, and take a good look at their faces. This guy sounds like a lamprey to me.

He's out, he's out, he's out!!!!!

Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!!!

She'll be dancin, dancin in the street!!!!!!

Thank you all for letting me vent here so I didn't bust the guys nose at some point in time!!
Love ya all!!!

Great news Darlene!! SOOOOO happy for you!! Now...I need a nice place in the US of A to lay my hat for a while..while...while...while.........
I'll do the cookin', cleanin', walk the dog, mow the lawn, clean the yard..oh HECK!! I do that already (happily, for my dear Wife )..but I need a rest...
Good news always brings a smile to my face, especially when it comes from somebody so nice!

Nick

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 10-15-2010).]

This is not good! They're looking at extending my retirement out another 6 months. I was looking forward to moving in around March 1st. Dar, can I get a reservation for say... September 1st?

Congrats Dar!!!

Now, never ever ever let anyone stay longer than a weekend again
I am betting it will be a looooong while before your husband suggests "helping out a friend" again

Congrats.