im 20 and shes 19.
lets just say. her parents are extreamly protective and controling!!!
they even piss me off.
they treat her like shes 12.
\tho at times she kinda acts like one.
were just youngins trying to figure out life.

Well, at least the two of you aren't 16.

However, at 19 and 20 the two of you are still W-A-Y too young to be considering settling down together. She seems to realize this in some fashion more than you do, she just doesn't know yet how to tell you properly and/or act on it.

There's lots of fish in the sea...

the weird thing is that she listens to her parents still. not saying its a bad thing.
but her mom is totally agaist living togeather before marrage.
and my gf is listening to that.
i rather live togeather before marrage anyways. i want to see how she is like when we live togeather and being around each other 24/7. but i guess thats going to have to wait some time.
yes she still lives with her parents.

your twenty with no sex, no drugs, and no alchohal? If she is someone like that I doubt that she would cheat on you. I had a girlfriend like that, dumping her was one of the best desicions i made, but she had an attitude and that really bothered me. But just to contradict myseslf my friend had a girlfriend who was a "goody-goody", thought she never had sex till he found out the ten guys she was banging behind his back, but he was doing the same thing, it was in effed up relationship...You should start ignoring her more, hang out more with your friends, she would get bored with you if your always with her, make her jealous a little bit.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: but her mom is totally agaist living togeather before marrage. and my gf is listening to that.

They're womenfolk.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: i rather live togeather before marrage anyways.

Me too, but we're guys.

Women are a different species than men. Get used to it.

i thought about making her jelous alittle bit.
but i dont know how that will work with her.
she doesnt annoy me or anything. tho ill add that we almost had sex one time but im not going into detail. you dont need to know that stuff haha.
but anyways.
but i just talked to her not to long ago and it was actually quite nice we wernt both frusterated at each other and it was quite enjoyable. i tryed my best to not to talk to her today because of what happened yesterday but i failed and gave in.
i just had to say hey and how are you kind of thing.

so far so good. hopfully tommorrow is better then today.
im actually seeinmg a movie with some friends tommorrow evening. should be nice.

and indeed girls are different, in so many ways to.

I agree they are a PITA. Like already said though, there squishy and warm & soft too...and smell better. Ive gone thru the girls and women bit and prefer the girls myself. Generally speaking their cuter (IMHO). Ya they are frustrating at times but so what. I totally agree that women on the other hand do bring a lot more real issues to a relationship. Younger ones are more haphazzard and unreliable whereas the older ones in my cases anyhow are calculating and wanting. Ive always uncovered hidden ulterior motives and agenda with them where the younger ones are just hot friends with benefits. If theyre flighty and keep dumping boyfriends to find new ones, its fine....theres no shortage as new ones keep coming out of schools into the playing field every year.

If you like older women, thats your choice so dont rag on me. I dont want a gf with 2 or 3 kids. I prefer single girls that can be spontaneous.

Just remember too that some females never turn into women.
I thought as they get older they would play fewer head games but some of them can`t ever seem to get enough.
And to you guys who are married for a long time, congrats.
I thought that as women get older they would maybe drop their standards or expectations of men but as far as I`ve seen I think some of them will go to the grave looking for that "perfect" man.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: i thought about making her jelous alittle bit. but i dont know how that will work with her.

Don't TRY to make her jealous. That will backfire. Get out there, have fun, and if she chooses to be with you that's fine. If not...no big deal. Don't TRY to make her do anything. The Canadian Forces describe leadership as "the art of influencing human behavior in order to accomplish a task in the manner so desired by the leader." Contrast that with what you're trying to do. Be a leader. You can't make someone do something they don't want to. At the end of the day, we all do what we want, no matter how much it appears to pain us.

quote Heinlein Of all the nonsense that twists the world, the concept of 'altruism' is the worst. People do what they want to, every time. If it pains them, to make a choice- if the 'choice' looks like a 'sacrifice' -- you can be sure that it is no nobler than the discomfort caused by greediness... the necessity of having to decide between two things you want when you can't have both. The ordinary bloke suffers every time he chooses between spending a buck on beer or tucking it away for his kids, between getting up to go to work and losing his job. But he always chooses that which hurts least or pleasures most. The scoundrel and the saint make the same choices....

quote she doesnt annoy me or anything. tho ill add that we almost had sex one time but im not going into detail. you dont need to know that stuff haha. but anyways.

Yeah, but does being with her add value to your life? If she doesn't add value to your life experience, why are you with her?

quote but i just talked to her not to long ago and it was actually quite nice we wernt both frusterated at each other and it was quite enjoyable. i tryed my best to not to talk to her today because of what happened yesterday but i failed and gave in. i just had to say hey and how are you kind of thing.

Weak. Easy solution. Get busy. Go do stuff...get a hobby that doesn't have you sitting around, NOT videogames. Take up a sport, go to the gym, go to the library and envelop yourself in some fictional world. Let your mind wander away from her. Be social!

quote so far so good. hopfully tommorrow is better then today. im actually seeinmg a movie with some friends tommorrow evening. should be nice. and indeed girls are different, in so many ways to.

Great! Do something with people that doesn't involve her. Perfect! Don't hope for change, BE the change you want to see in the world.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: i highly doubt that since she never had sex before.

Before you, that is...right? Your TOOL will get you in trouble every time.

quote Originally posted by FrugalFiero: Before you, that is...right?

Sorry, you get a FAIL for not following this thread close enough.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: tho ill add that we almost had sex one time but im not going into detail. you dont need to know that stuff haha.

Well DAMN... I should handing out +s left and right for all the hilarious replies...

I figure I could chime in Josh, since I've had a fair share with them womenfolk too, and I share some experiences you have had.

The one thing you gotta keep in mind is that women are almost like a different species. It's like pairing a dog with....a..... fish. Women think different, act different, and as one other guy said, smell different They will try to trick you and play mind games, they will test you, and they will push every button you have.

I've had my wonderful girlfriend for 3 and a half years now, so I suppose I can be considered at least a semi-credible source. The first matter you need to reinvestigate is how much you two have in common. Are you interested in the same things? Same music, same foods, same lifestyles? If not, that might make life complicated later if you both decide to stick with it. For me I've found the biggest issue with relationships is that they don't share common interests. If you like chinese food and she won't go near it, she likes pink curtains and you hate pink, you like heavy metal and she likes rap, then arguments ahoy! Some might argue that that doesn't matter, but that is the next big thing: compromise.

If you can compromise with her, then that is a very good thing. I believe there is no such thing as a perfect match. There will NEVER be a 100% perfect person out there for you, so don't even bother looking. What you need to look for is the person that is as close to 100% as you can find. With my girlfriend, we argue pretty often; about once a week or so. The thing that makes us different from other failed couples is that whatever the argument is, it is compromised on and done with before the sun goes down. Our biggest difference is that she is a "walk away, leave it alone, and ignore it" sort of person. I am a "finish it now, settle the argument, and get it over with" type of guy. When she gets upset, she has this thing she does that PISSES ME OFF; she stops all communication. She will sit there like a bump on a log and stare at me while I get UBER pissed, because I am trying to solve the problem.

In conclusion, if you can't compromise with her, and you don't have as much in common as you think you may with other women (or...girls?), then perhaps you should keep looking. There are a lot of females out there, and not all of them are terrible. After studying many relationships, I've found the one year mark is the BIG turning point. The first year is usually the cuddly, saying I love you after every sentence phase. After that first year, the silver lining has worn off and the issues surface. If you guys are having trouble and it hasn't been even half a year...
Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! That's my two cents, hope it helps

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[This message has been edited by BazookaFiero (edited 01-08-2009).]

well mr bazooka fiero.
i think you probably were the most helpful so far lol.
we have lots of things in common.
there are the odd things that she likes that i dont like.
she like movies that are musicals. i dont really care to much abut them.
and afew odd things here and there.
the major issue i have with her is she doesnt tell me whats on her mind. if im making her angry. she wont tell me
or if something is making her upset. im trying to get it out but then it makes me angry cuz she isnt saying anything other then she is fine when she really isnt.
but i finnaly got it out of her. i guess i got to be alittle more firm with her if it happens again. and get it out of her.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: Sorry, you get a FAIL for not following this thread close enough.

Possibly....

quote Originally posted by joshh44: tho ill add that we almost had sex one time but im not going into detail. you dont need to know that stuff haha.

Maybe Bill n' Monica sex? Still used his tool.

[This message has been edited by FrugalFiero (edited 01-08-2009).]

Please don't shoot the messenger, I am only trying to give some advise here.

A: She is sleeping around on you, if she doesn't have sex can you prove it? If you are wondering even a tiny little bit about how you would prove it right now leave, or kick her out.

B: Strict parents cause wild children. By wild I mean children that once free to do anything will do everything, without worry of consequences.

C: You are both way too young to be worrying about this stuff. I was too, most on here were as well, my first divorce was when I was 21.

D: When she said she loved you has no matter in this, my wife said it after a week of "Dating" and we moved in together after knowing each other for 24 hours. We were not being ignorant, we just knew that there was something there. We also did not spend a minute apart for 3 years. Anyway, Love is thrown around way too much anymore, yes it exists, and I am sure on some level she loves you, but actions are stronger than words.

E: Every relationship is different, you are not me, I am not you. What works for you would probably have me on a building with a sniper rifle. You get the idea. In the end you have to do what works for you, and screw everyone else. Including the GF. If you have any doubts about anything act on them, there is no time to be stuck in a doomed relationship (unless the sex is amazing ).

Brad

quote Originally posted by FrugalFiero: Still used his tool.

Heh, I think you're assuming too much. But as Josh himself says, we "don’t need to know that stuff".

quote Originally posted by pontiackid86: where the f*** does it start?

Nowdays? umm... about 13.

I'm kidding here, but I've seen the statistics...

Hell grade school girls are selling it for milk money these days.

quote Originally posted by rogergarrison: Hell grade school girls are selling it for milk money these days.

It's really sad inflation I mean. They were giving it away when I was in school .

Brad

quote Originally posted by rogergarrison: Hell grade school girls are selling it for milk money these days.

Men (and I use the term loosely) who would buy "it" from grade school girls need to be locked up (or worse) then.

quote Originally posted by BazookaFiero: ...she is a "walk away, leave it alone, and ignore it" sort of person. I am a "finish it now, settle the argument, and get it over with" type of guy. When she gets upset, she has this thing she does that PISSES ME OFF; she stops all communication. She will sit there like a bump on a log and stare at me while I get UBER pissed, because I am trying to solve the problem.

I had an argument with my girlfriend last night, and this is exactly my problem.

She see's me starting to get frustrated and "ignores" it. I swear makes me want

to rip my hair out. Haha.


But to add in, I had a girlfriend about a year ago, and we had been dating for, about 5 months or so.

"Love" had not been spoken yet, but we both felt pretty strongly towards each other. In the last month

she asked me if I'd have sex with her, and I told her no, ( I'm not gay, shut up ) because I have a

mentality of "If I can't afford to support a kid and wife I can't afford to take that risk". She SAID she

understood, but she started growing distant from me after that. And one day, I caught her at a party

down near a local party college. She was there with one of her ex's when she said she wasn't going

but they were both there partying it up. Now I'm not saying that this is a similar situation to you,

but, watch out for yourself. I had started a thread for the forums advice as to what I should do

before I found out, and everyone's response was basically to dump her, but I didn't.


You can see how well that worked out for me.


I'm 20 as well, so I can relate. Different girlfriend now, and we both have a lot in common, she's good

lookin', she is really down to earth, and is incredibly smart. It has taken some effort on my part, but

I too have realized that we are both too young to be making any "long-term" commitments. We both

have 3 and a half more years of college to go through before our lives even begin.


If it is worth it to you to keep the relationship alive, then by all means do what you have to do, but don't

dig yourself a hole that you won't be able to get out of if things don't end up working out between you two.

[This message has been edited by leppy_89 (edited 01-08-2009).]

she told me she doesnt want to have sex until she is marryed.
thats understand able. some people wait till that moment arives.
maybe thats why she was wanting to ask her to marry her. she had this huge plan of getting marryed,
she wanted to be ask her to marry her in february, (next month) but have the wedding in the summer of 2010.
not she doesnt want to talk about it. strange i tell ya! i think she if finally realalizing that life isnt all fun and games.
frick she doesnt even pay any bills.
which is why i want her living on her own so she can learn theses things.
but i think we were moving alittle to fast. and i think she just realized it now. and she wants to slow down and not make any mistakes.
thats understandable. but im feeling better. im not as angry anymore. still alittle frusterated but not as much.
talking about it sure does help alot tho.
i highy doubt she isnt playing around with other guys.
her parents pretty much made me there son. its kinda freaky but its nice at the same time and i can tell you forsure that there the most nosy people i know!
they want to know like everything! even if you dont want to say it. they wanna know like jeez!
but every family is different.
iv only ever had 2 gfs before this one. shes my 3rd.
she told me that im the best boyfriend shes ever had. and she told me she had more then 10 boyfriends before me.
so that makes me happy that im the best one
and i think im the 2nd longest bf shes had to.
blah i think i say to much when i should just end it. giving out to much personal information.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: and i think im the 2nd longest bf shes had to.

I thought you said you two hadn't had sex yet? Or did she just peek?

Josh, your storry sounds 100% identical to a relationship my friend just went through....

Long story short, her PARENTS ended up brain washing her to the point that she made HIM break up with HER. It was a mess, and he was VERY pissed he let it go as long as he did. She was also pushing around the marriage thing too.. along with doing a few breakups along the way.

A girl that listens to her overprotective parents is one to run away from as fast as possible.

quote Originally posted by joshh44: well mr bazooka fiero. i think you probably were the most helpful so far lol. we have lots of things in common. there are the odd things that she likes that i dont like. she like movies that are musicals. i dont really care to much abut them. and afew odd things here and there. the major issue i have with her is she doesnt tell me whats on her mind. if im making her angry. she wont tell me or if something is making her upset. im trying to get it out but then it makes me angry cuz she isnt saying anything other then she is fine when she really isnt. but i finnaly got it out of her. i guess i got to be alittle more firm with her if it happens again. and get it out of her.

Well I'm glad to help, but I agree with what you (and everyone else) has been saying; she is thinking waaaaay too far into the future and you two are way too young to be concerned about getting married and where to move into and what state to live in, etc you get the idea. I personally think the only reason you two would even be considering marriage is if you really, TRULY feel there is something there, and from the sound of what you feel, there isn't. Breakups suck, and it can be a hard thing, but once it's over and the dust has settled, you'll feel a lot better

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I'm in high school and in response to people saying girls "sell it". YOU ARE RIGHT (50%) you can defiantly tell the ones who are virgins and not. (I am by the way) And the ones that aren't really aren't. There was a nice cute girl last year in one of my classes, or so I thought, turns out she drinks, smokes, drives while drunk, steels and can't count how many times shes um... made love (15 years old) she actually got kicked out ounce because she told her current 'boyfriend' that she wouldn't sleep with him that day and had to walk home (about 10 miles.)
Any way for your problem I think I've got the answer from basic PSYCHOLOGY (class) if she has been bossed around by her parents her entire life then she wants control. She has probably always dreamed of running away with a knight in shining armor. She probably pushed things too fast for the last boyfriends too. If you do still love her them find out if she has moved on, her wanting things to go slow might mean she's maturing more and realizing that dreams sometimes don't come true. Or maybe not.
Maybe I'm wrong, I obviously don't know you or her, go to a counselor if your really down, we'll just make fun of other peoples comments and give life experiences.

EDIT:Getting the mind and body mixed up (two posts down... happy now???)
I'm writing all this out on my tablet (that's how much I care) and it gets words wrong a lot (recognition is good but my chicken scratch will baffle any man or machine) and I click on the wrong word sometimes.

[This message has been edited by Renegade blob (edited 01-08-2009).]

quote Originally posted by joshh44: and i think im the 2nd longest bf shes had to.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: I thought you said you two hadn't had sex yet? Or did she just peek?

See...I just KNEW a TOOL might be involved...

quote Originally posted by Renegade blob: Any way for your problem I think I've got the answer from basic physiology (class) if she has been bossed around by her parents her entire life then she wants control...

Say what?

From the net... "Human physiology is the science of the mechanical, physical, and biochemical functions of humans in good health, their organs, and the cells of which they are composed."

Back to school for you young fella.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: Say what? From the net... "Human physiology is the science of the mechanical, physical, and biochemical functions of humans in good health, their organs, and the cells of which they are composed." Back to school for you young fella.

prolly meant psychology... lol

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quote Originally posted by FrugalFiero: See...I just KNEW a TOOL might be involved...

I wonder if a ruler or a tape measure was used? Hopefully it wasn't a micrometer.
.
.
.
.
.

Sorry Josh, nothing personal. We're just having some fun.

[This message has been edited by Patrick (edited 01-08-2009).]

haha its all good. gotta have some laughs :P
tho i had to use a meter stick. or i guess you guys call it a yard stick?

quote Originally posted by joshh44: tho i had to use a meter stick. or i guess you guys call it a yard stick?

No, we'd call it "wishful thinking". Heh heh...

Flame Suit ON!

Get off the internet, quit asking us for advice, go be YOUNG! Live and Learn, Crash and Burn, wake up and do it again. Its called life and it doesnt come with an instruction manual. Hold your head up high, say yes when you usually wouldn't, throw caution to the wind and the rest will work itself out.

Going to the bar.....to find a woman of loose morals and spend my rent.



Heres the date and total lol.

[This message has been edited by WBailey1041 (edited 01-08-2009).]

quote Originally posted by twofatguys: D: When she said she loved you has no matter in this, my wife said it after a week of "Dating" and we moved in together after knowing each other for 24 hours. We were not being ignorant, we just knew that there was something there. We also did not spend a minute apart for 3 years.

Curious, How'd that work out for you?

quote Originally posted by WBailey1041: Get off the internet, quit asking us for advice, go be YOUNG! Live and Learn, Crash and Burn, wake up and do it again. Its called life and it doesnt come with an instruction manual. Hold your head up high, say yes when you usually wouldn't, throw caution to the wind and the rest will work itself out.

Some of us have long memories. Remember This?

quote Originally posted by joshh44: maybe thats why she was wanting to ask her to marry her. she had this huge plan of getting marryed,

quote Originally posted by joshh44: im 20 and shes 19.

This makes me sad... for public schooling.

(A young lady sent the following to me)


The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


Finally , the guys' side of the story
( I must admit, it's pretty good)


We always hear 'the rules' From the female side


Now here are the rules from the male side


These are our rules!


Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go some where, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sex, hooters, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Straight IS a shape! Flat IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[This message has been edited by CoolBlue87GT (edited 01-08-2009).]

quote Originally posted by ryan.hess: This makes me sad... for public schooling.

Ryan, it makes me sad, for the guys that get suckered in by the wh0res that spout this stuff.