Granted, but theres nothing there but a stone and a very ugly chick.

I wish for winter to be over with.

Granted, but winter ends early because Earth is falling towards the sun. We all die in a fiery explosion.

I wish I had a nice big steak for lunch.

Granted. But what you got was a tube steak.

I wish my cornflakes would stay crispy in milk.

Granted. But the "stake" is right through your heart.

Wish my Ferrario was done.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

quote Originally posted by Wichita: Granted. But what you got was a tube steak. I wish my cornflakes would stay crispy in milk.

Granted: Your Corn Flakes are made of Stainless Steel, and never get Soggy.

I wish I was a famous rock star.

Granted...but you have to back me every day til eternity!!

I wish I could be their in the USA...and meet you all
Nick

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: Your Corn Flakes are made of Stainless Steel, and never get Soggy. I wish I was a famous rock star.

Granted. You're Kurt Cobain.

I wish it would rain.

Granted. It's a Cat 5 hurricane.

I wish I was 50 lbs thinner.

Synthesis... You're lucky I got beat to the punch. You coulda been Freddy Mercury.

[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 10-17-2007).]

Granted. But the fifty pounds comes from losing your arms and legs.

Wish I had 20/20 vision.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

Granted. You have successful laser eye surgery. A few years down the road your vision will start to deteriorate, and you go back for further surgery. This time they accidentally put the laser on it's highest setting and burn a hole in your skull.

I wish I could fly.

quote Originally posted by BtotheB: I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you cant land, you break both legs and your spine is severed you end up a paraplegic.


I wish I had internet connection at home.

quote Originally posted by twofatguys: Granted, but you cant land, you break both legs and your spine is severed you end up a paraplegic. I wish I had internet connection at home.

Your wish is granted but the US has outlawed all pron and internet flash games and is now used only for shopping for used 80s furniture made from particle board.

I wish for a dish of fish.

[This message has been edited by The Poopsmith (edited 10-17-2007).]

quote Originally posted by The Poopsmith: I wish for a dish of fish.

Granted. But as you're about to take a bite, you'll see an apparition of Rosie O'Donnell.

I wish that we'd win the war.

Granted, but with the war over, and Americans free to return to their state of blissful unawareness, Hillary wins the election and imposes a 1984-esque state on the US.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.

quote Originally posted by Raydar: I wish that we'd win the war.

Granted. Marijuana is totally eradicated when the U.S. finally wins the War on Drugs.

I wish I could drink beer at work.

Granted. But the surgeon doing your apendectomy is so wasted that he removes mr. happy instead.

Wish my hearing wasn't as bad as it was.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: Wish my hearing wasn't as bad as it was.

Granted, however the only improvement which could be made was in the range of 22kHz and higher.

I wish that people would re-discover personal responsibility, and put ambulance chasers out of business.

[This message has been edited by dguy (edited 10-17-2007).]

Granted: but now there are no lawyers to help in that terrible accident that happened to your sister, when she was doing that keg stand.

I wish to have a higher paying job.

quote Originally posted by Finally_Mine_86_GT: Granted: but now there are no lawyers to help in that terrible accident that happened to your sister, when she was doing that keg stand. I wish to have a higher paying job.

Granted, but then you are arrested when you get caught in a dark alley with 2 men, a goat, and a midget in a clown suit with your pants around your ankles.

I wish this Dried Mango didn't affect me when I ate a whole lot of it.

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted, but then you are arrested when you get caught in a dark alley with 2 men, a goat, and a midget in a clown suit with your pants around your ankles. I wish this Dried Mango didn't affect me when I ate a whole lot of it.

Granted: but now all mangos are wet, soggy and taste like raw feet.

I wish i didn't get caught!

[This message has been edited by Finally_Mine_86_GT (edited 10-17-2007).]

granted, but you were tripping so bad that you ended up falling off a building to your doom while trying to catch the popcorn.

I wish i had a tasty chicken quesadilla.

p.s. mexican food doesnt give me the craps... sry folks

[This message has been edited by UCFieroCharger (edited 10-17-2007).]

Granted: only to find out later it wasn't chicken... meow!

I wish i didn't have to go the this diner meeting tonight with my co-workers!

Granted. Your fired!

I wish I had a kegerator in my dining room

Granted: but sadly it's only filled with diet pepsi.

I wish my wife didn't B**** so much!

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: I wish I could meet Jessi Combs and she would fall head-over-heels for me.

Granted, but "Jessi" is a dude, who is
now your cellmate in a Turkush prison.

I wish for more nice weather, so the homeless people stay dry at night.

quote Originally posted by WhiteDevil88: Granted, but "Jessi" is a dude, who is now your cellmate in a Turkush prison. I wish for more nice weather, so the homeless people stay dry at night.

Granted: now they die of dehydration.

Still wishing my wife didn't b**** so much!

granted, but instead of b***hicg she releases a horrid flatus that makes you vomit if you are within the same time zone as her.

I wish i had a Keg of guiness now.

Granted: it's flat and warm.

I wish Boony would come up with something to wake this forum up again!

No, I have a kegerator

Granted, but now this thread is bombarded with peoples wishes getting granted twice and some peoples wishes not being granted at all

I wish for 1000 wishes.

[This message has been edited by UCFieroCharger (edited 10-17-2007).]

quote Originally posted by UCFieroCharger: No, I have a kegerator Granted, but now this thread is bombarded with peoples wishes getting granted twice and some peoples wishes not being granted at all I wish for 1000 wishes.

Granted: But you are suddenly struck in the head by an unladen European swallow, and as a result of this freak accident, you can only repeat the same sentence... "I want to get dirty with Carrot Top" which you repeat 1000 times."

I wish I could afford to go see the dentist to have this tooth pulled. (OUCH! Only have half a tooth in that spot.)

Granted but the dentist is def dum and blind only plays pinball, therefore he accidentally injects your cheek with listerine to numb you, pulls out the wrong tooth and continues to do so until you are left with 4 teeth and horribly swollen bloody gums.

I wish i was instantly able to summon freshly cooked bacon onto my plate at my will

[This message has been edited by UCFieroCharger (edited 10-17-2007).]

I wish UCFieroCharger would wish for something...

Granted, but you dont get to grant my wish.

I wish food women and cars were inexpensive so i could indulge in my 3 favorite things.

quote Originally posted by UCFieroCharger: Granted, but you dont get to grant my wish. I wish food women and cars were inexpensive so i could indulge in my 3 favorite things.

Granted: the food is all tofu, the women look like Janet Reno and smell like Willie Nelson, and the cars are all Yugos...

i wish Ewan McGregor was singing me love songs from Moulin Rouge........

quote Originally posted by BekaintaFunk: i wish Ewan McGregor was singing me love songs from Moulin Rouge........

Granted: But it is really Sloth from the Goonies in Disguise, and he mixed his songs up with the ones from Brokeback Mountain...

I wish the Snorks were real.

granted! hmmm now that they are they are all destoryed


i wish for my life to be happy and to never see a sad moment for the rest of my life, oh and a 88 t top fiero! lol

Granted You have the T-top but no tops and it rains everyday and that I am sure would take care of the no sad moments!

I wish it would snow in Florida so that all those Fiero owners would know how us Canucks feel!

quote Originally posted by kinboyatuwo: I wish it would snow in Florida so that all those Fiero owners would know how us Canucks feel!

Granted. It snows 3' deep in Florida, effectively paralyzing the entire state for a month. Meanwhile, a Category 5 Hurricane wipes London, Ontario off the map.

I wish I could visit my friend Marcella in Italy.