I am. It's easily self-correctable, I'm just not sure anyone but me has the "jurisdiction" to even call me on it...
No... and I work very hard at making sure that isn't the case. My biggest goal in life, is to make sure that when I'm gone, my daughter will have looked up to me as a role model.
For some that I know, the only person being referred to in that question (loved and loves)........... is themselves. The ultimate narcissistic.
How about "Are You Suspicious That You Are A Disappointment To Someone You Love Who Also Loves You?" Does that make the concept easier to grasp for the reader?
I'm not a role model I'm a man and as such fallible I will make mistakes and find redemption Sometimes its more work than I have in me but i continue to try Sometimes love is just a word used out of context when lust would have worked
It was perfectly clear the first time. It's just that over half the people I know seem to love only themselves but at the same time, don't appear to be very happy with themselves.
But to answer both the original (and alternate) question: Not that I am aware of.
Originally posted by maryjane: It's just that over half the people I know seem to love only themselves but at the same time, don't appear to be very happy with themselves.
That is perfection.
EDITED to say "That is".
[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 08-23-2014).]
Probably. Sh*t happens. Everyone gets disappointed at one time or another.
I just hope that when it's all said and done, that I've made a positive difference for somebody. Or even multiple somebodies. It would be even better if they actually recognize it, but it's not a requirement.
Originally posted by Raydar: I just hope that when it's all said and done, that I've made a positive difference for somebody. Or even multiple somebodies. It would be even better if they actually recognize it, but it's not a requirement.
I've enjoyed my time with you. That is to say I have enjoyed some of what you have expressed in written word.
I like thinking, I'm just not real good at it.
[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 08-23-2014).]
Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? It was mine, and the life of all those I thought about......................................................
"It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone, "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dazed and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me."
Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? It was mine, and the life of all those I thought about......................................................
"It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone, "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dazed and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me."
Jeff Weintraub? I had to (well, I didn't have to, I wanted to) look it up.
"Jeff Weintraub is a social & political theorist, political sociologist, and democratic socialist who has been teaching most recently at the University of Pennsylvania and Bryn Mawr College. Also an Affiliated Professor with the University of Haifa in Israel & an opponent of academic blacklists."
Wanna' know what I think?
[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 08-23-2014).]
You cant live your life for others as you will almost always fall short. Do no harm to others and be respectful, but if your life style disappoints someone and you are not causing harm or disrespecting them then who should be disappointed in who?
Disappointment is all in the eye of the disappointed Better question: Are you unhappy with the way you treated someone that loves you?
Ever watched the movie "It's a wonderful life" That makes you stop and think what would have happened if you were never born. I think all of us have or have had people who look up to us and I think we all have let someone down but I think the important thing is to try and do what we think is the right thing at the time. I remember when I was 16 I thought I knew it all and that my dad just didn't understand, now when I look back I realize how little I really knew.
Probably. Sh*t happens. Everyone gets disappointed at one time or another.
I just hope that when it's all said and done, that I've made a positive difference for somebody. Or even multiple somebodies. It would be even better if they actually recognize it, but it's not a requirement.
Originally posted by Boondawg: I am. It's easily self-correctable, I'm just not sure anyone but me has the "jurisdiction" to even call me on it...
We each have things we think are important in our life, many times they dont align with someone elses thoughts about it. That said, I would hope they woudl be decent about presenting it, but even a stranger can make me think.
Originally posted by FrugalFiero: You might not actually be the disappointment you think you are.
Unless just thinking it makes it a part of you. Those that think they aren't "good enough" will probably usually make it so. Even if it's just feeling it...
[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 08-25-2014).]
Originally posted by Boondawg: Unless just thinking it makes it a part of you. Those that think they aren't "good enough" will probably usually make it so. Even if it's just feeling it...
True, people can hold themselves down. Perception is just observing reality, there is alot more to it all than just perception. Even perception can have many angles and depths. If we were robots without emotions, without a past, without dreams, perception could maybe be all there was.
[This message has been edited by 2.5 (edited 08-25-2014).]
Its amazing how someone actually appears to another person. We have all these (mostly innaccurate) ideas about how other people perceive us. it's very revealing (and sobering) (and ocasionally disheartening) how others actually "see" us.
Funny thing, you can walk around for years thinking about stuff, and you are sooooo wrong. or folks could think things about you and you totally were a million miles away from reality. I learned this when I went to a few various "reunion gaterings" over the years with old friends, fellow alumni, and ex-coworkers.
Live Genuine. Life simply. Cut the crap out and stop wallowing , and just climb up out of it. Climb out of that 'plateau of security'.
I'm not saying your past isn't important, but it often serves you less than you realize.
It's ''where you came from''. It protects you, (you "learn for your mistakes...") but It also provides a nurturing refuge for you mind to nestle in. And that can actually be a bad thing sometimes, because it can also hold you back. Not every mistake you made was actually a mistake. And fear can be limiting. Situations can be similiar, but not identical...
everyone has dissapointed a bunch of people in their lives. and one day, the earth will be swallowed by the sun,and none of it will matter one bit, in the grand schems of things. But you can enjoy your life...and you CAN make a difference.
Make you peace with those you can,( but give yourself a time limit on that,) and then move on. You don't want to waste too much time 'healing the mistakes of the past'...
Most people won't even remember what you are so hung up about. and there you were, walking around for YEARS, caring about stuff nop one else cared about. A big waste of time,a nd mental effort.
If you feel you were a dissapointment, make a few changes to be less of one. But as said above, don't try to please others, or try to meet their expectations. Be the person you want to be by waking up in their bed. puting on their clothes. going through the motions of their typical day. do this for a weekend. then continue on that Monday. then do it 30 days. and revit this every 30 days. keep a journal, write at least ONE sentence a day. Make a new habit to break yerself of your old way of exisiting.
If you have 'weaknesses', you must realize that you accept them (and actually enjoy most of them on a subtle level.) Change is hard, but rewarding. But it's hard. it often involves stripping away a VERY COMFORTABLE layer of yourself, it's like stepping out on a BRIGHT stage, NAKED. and even after you've "changed", you're still the person with the weaknesses and the shortcomings and all that, but as you keep doing this, it's less and less an "active " part of you. it becomes a pile of stuff next to you, then behind you, then some junk tied to your leg with a string that's a block long. it's still technically a part of you, but it's far removed from your person.
I have a friend, he's a bit of a horndog. keeps drooling over women. he's married, and (probably) won't cheat, but man, he sure goes nuts over women. He emailed me the other day to tell me that there was a street fair and that I should go to it on the way to work lots of good sights. I have zero dollars to spend, and have been to enough street fairs. When I got in, he started busting my chops about not going. then he started explaining the asses of the yummies he saw, and their boobs and "bee-sting lips" and whatever, and I finally explained to him that If I see something nice, I'll look at it, but I won't go out of my way to seek out that stuff. If I have filet mingon at home, why bother wandering around looking at steak?
But there's apart of us that is afraid. even if we have it so good, we keep a stash of crap "just in case". It was so totally purifying when I deleted all the stuff I had acculmulated over the years. (mostly prior to being married) I have one bin of "interesting stuff from when I worked at that certain magazine, but that's just a fun thing to have, I haven't cracked it open since I left there). There are plenty of folks I know who are in unahppy sitiations, and ones they kinda are stuck in. Life is very messy for so many people. But you can actually just change into someone new. it's not easy, especially if you have a "messy life" with kids and exes and family issues and money issues and health issues. But you CAN make the choice - the decision, to just cut out the crap, the excuses, the things which do not serve you.
But you will likely lose chunks of what you might call your "personality". and it may leave you feeling like a bird with clipped wings, or a snake with no fangs, or a person with 10,000 cuts dancing through a lemonade downpour, but what will the rest of your life be like?
Most times, we fare MUCH better than we expect. We go through surgery and find ourselves a few years later staring at the scar and barely recalling the procedure.
So yeah, maybe you have dissapointed some folks. SO the eff what? Maybe some of them are dead. can't do nothing about that. maybe they are estranged to you... so work on yourself and see what happens, maybe you and them will make peace, but that shouldn't be the main focus of your life, because you may very well be dissapointed.
One of the worst things about changing yourself is that those around you aren't going to magically change too, nor are they going to be helpful or happy to see the changes in you. Nor do most even want to hear about it. And when you're done with this round of changes, you're still tthe same person inside your head. You may still have the same weaknesses and thoughts. but change can be infectious, especially when the results are positive. But remembering that you are still the same person may get more and more frustrating (or less and less so, depends on the person)
So anyway, sorry for the rant, I had to pull some 'predictive failed' drives this morning and am waiting for the RAIDS to rebuild,and I had a nice tall cup o' Joe...
I do not ride on a high horse nor think I am superior, I've just been through the stuff I've been through, I try to share stuff that I think has been helpful to me, and warn others if I see them travelling down (what I think is) a dangerous path... and I feel good when I help others, even if they ocasionally kick me in the 'nads or give me fleas.. ...
Live a genuine life. Live Genuine. be a little better today than you were yesterday. Pick up those dirty socks. Pet that cat instead of kicking it. Don't let yourself be an arsehole because someone else was just an arsehole to you.(and BOY, that can be a challenge!!!!) and don't waste time bickering on the the interwebs. > Event description: Logical Drive Status Change. This trap signifies that the agent has detected a change in the status of a drive array logical drive. The variable cpqDaLogDrvStatus indicates the current logical drive status. > > Location: Slot 0 > Board Status: rebuilding
That translates into "LUNCHTIME!"
Be well.
-TDA
[This message has been edited by TheDigitalAlchemist (edited 08-25-2014).]
Are You A Disappointment To Someone You Love Who Also Loves You?
Boondawg, are you still failing in the love making department ? The hours upon hours of pron is not helping ? The Extenze produced the opposite affect ? The little blue pills only get you little blue balls ? Never mind, too much information. I am kidding anyways, .
Me ? No, I am not a disappointment to someone I love who also loves me. Or anybody else. Just once, I would like a day to go by where everybody I talk to would not tell me how awesome I am. Sometime I even do zhit to piss 'em off, or to purposely disappoint them. They still praise me, .
quote
Originally posted by maryjane: Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? It was mine, and the life of all those I thought about......................................................
That's the difference between me and you Don. I can quit thinking anytime I want. Even after one more drink think.
quote
Originally posted by Jake_Dragon: I'm not a role model. I'm a man and as such fallible. I will make mistakes and find redemption. Sometimes its more work than I have in me but i continue to try.
Profound. How long did it take you to think that up ?
In honesty, I am a disappointment.
quote
Originally posted by maryjane: For some that I know, the only person being referred to in that question (loved and loves)........... is themselves. The ultimate narcissistic.
I do love myself, yet not only myself. I have come to accept my failings if I do indeed fail. I call it (failing) a disability. One which can be overcome. Failing is good. Just another burr under the saddle to spark action. I will leave y'all with one last thought. This is not Burger King. You do not get it your way. Tomorrow is not looking promising either.
So anyway, sorry for the rant, I had to pull some 'predictive failed' drives this morning and am waiting for the RAIDS to rebuild,and I had a nice tall cup o' Joe...
Wow, that was a great rant. I've enjoyed your posts over the years (under both your usernames), but that's got to be the best one ever.
Anytime you're waiting for more RAIDS to rebuild, feel free to post something like that again.
I just wish FUTURE me could stop by for a minute and save me the trouble of figuring out what the heck I am supposed to be doing now, so I don't make another ten years of mistakes (and then learn from them and rant about it)
That's one reason why I do seek out the wisdom of my elders (and eldergeeks)
Its hard, because Tech is always "new", even for Eldergeeks, but the forces which drive Tech remain the same... (Like the way the ipod= a walkman - the desire for mobile audio entertainment)
Originally posted by Boondawg: I've enjoyed my time with you. That is to say I have enjoyed some of what you have expressed in written word.
I like thinking, I'm just not real good at it.
Thanks for that. Seriously.
I was thinking more in terms of people I have actually interacted with in person, because it's so much more, uhhh... personal. I never even considered that I would have been much of anything to anybody, on an internet forum. But now that you mention it, I suppose that other people have influenced my thoughts, as well. For the better, I hope.
I gotta go read the other replies, now. One of the better topics I've seen, actually.
Peace.
[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 08-25-2014).]
I just wish FUTURE me could stop by for a minute and save me the trouble of figuring out what the heck I am supposed to be doing now, so I don't make another ten years of mistakes
And that is exactly why he wont. he knows you grow due to your mistakes and doesn't want to deprive you ( or himself ) of important lessons.
.
I've enjoyed your posts over the years (under both your usernames), but that's got to be the best one ever.
