Thats exzactly what the doctor asked us Monday. "Would you like to offer the baby comfort care?" said the doctor....

Let me back up a bit. I was at a small job in town Portland Maine. About 20 minutes or so away from home. We were just leaving the job when i got a text from my wife saying, I'm going to my doctors to have a quick check up, somethings not right. So I'm headed back to the beach where we live and I'm all but freaking out!! Right about the time i pull up to the house I get another text from the wife, They are taking me to the hospital, can you meet me there? OK I text back and really start to freak out...

Well I'm trying to sort things out at home, get our oldest situated and what not. I get another text...friggin texts..This one again from the wife says, better bring camera. I quickly reply, We don't need the camera today, we aren't having a baby today. The reply I get really freaks me out!! Wifes reply says, The way the contractions are going now better bring cam and hurry also try and find ride so we don't have 2 cars here...

So I'm freaking out and go ask the neighbor if he can run me up the the Hospital. He gladly says sure and we jump in his truck to mash up there. About half way there I start to break down. Thing is is my wife is only 24 weeks pregnant. I'm practically running through the hospital. People don't like to make eye contact in the hospital. I get to the security desk at the delivery/birthing and neonatal intensive care unit. Check in with ID and get a pass and jump in the elevator....

So I walk into a nightmare scene, Theres a few nurses getting carts and trays ready. Doctors and nurses standing around. Theres a doctor talking to my wife, hes sitting in a chair at the end of her bed. He's talking but I'm having trouble making out what he's saying to be honest. It was all a blur at this time. This is where it gets really frigged up!!!

So this doctor is telling my wife about some of the possible complications involved with a birth at this early stage. That's when he asks the dreaded question, " Would you like to just offer the baby comfort care?" I stopped his little speech immediately and ask him, word for word, "Are you asking us if we want to do nothing? Are you asking us to just let the baby die? Whats Comfort care exzactly"? The friggin Doc replies, "Well after the baby is born we just lay it on the mothers chest and let her peacefully die. We don't offer the baby any assistance."

Ohhhh man I gotta be honest here, it was all I could do not to jump across the room and throttle his azz to within inches of his life and then ask him, as he's on the verge of death, "Would you like comfort care?" I'm pretty sure he could read my emotions as he stood up and moved across the room. He then said, "We need a decision before the birth. I will be back in a little while and you can talk it over." FRIG FRIG FRIG. I'll be honest I'm a wreck at this point!! A total mess. I prolly wear my emotions on my sleeves too much so to speak but I imagine many would react the same.

So heres this Doc asking us if we wanna let our child die. Try to imagine that. How would you react? I'm at the window trying to get the damm blinds to open so I can look out over the city. At least that way i don't have to look at the nurse who may be preparing some morbid devices of death. Who knows what shes doing right?

So my wife being the rock that she is says, "No way! Lets just have the baby and take our chances. 30% survivability chances are better then none." I'm all for it, "Ok, ok lets do that." We don't have much time to decide. The nurse is asking the babys name, if we have one picked out yet, It's okay you don't have to have one picked out yet she says....FRIG FRIG FRIG!!!!

So we were tossing a few names around before all this nightmare started and we chatted for a few minutes between contractions about it. We came up with a really great name that I have always loved. Brooklyn. I think it's a really cool name, incidently I have never been to Brooklyn but would love to visit some day. So Brooklyn it is. 20 minutes and I don't know how many cotractions later the room really fills up with doctors and nurses. Carts and trays and chaos. I'm beside myself. I'm a train wreck. I'm an emotional crap bag.

Not even 40 minutes later Doc Death come in and asks, "So what have you decided?" My wife, the rock, says, "Do every thing humanly possible to keep this baby alive! No matter what!" I tell the Doc Death the same thing, "anything you can do, do it. ANYTHING." So the Doc replies, "Ok, I think were all ready. It's all gonna be up to Brooklyn from here on out. The first 72 hours are going to be the toughest, if she can make it through that without major complications she has a better chance of survival."

More to come as my emotions permit, sorry. Gonna take our 3 year old for a walk, maybe on the beach...srry more later

OMG! With tears in my eye, I wish you all the best. All the best...

Tony

Your wife sounds like a true soldier. Hang in there!!!

quote Originally posted by weloveour86se: Ohhhh man I gotta be honest here, it was all I could do not to jump across the room and throttle his azz to within inches of his life and then ask him, as he's on the verge of death, "Would you like comfort care?"

Allow me to do so, .
I'm prayin' hard for you.

Hope things turn out ok!!!!!!

Been there, done that 33 years ago when our 1st born son came WAY too early into the world. He has Cerebral Palsy & Hydrocephalus among other things.

I don't mean to discourage you with this info, because medicine has advanced alot in 33 years.

The doctors offered us the same thing, basically told us our son would be a vegetable. We also replied with "Do what you can do to keep him in this world". 33 years later, while he is and has been dependent on his parents his whole life, he is CERTAINLY more than a vegetable.

We are glad we made the decision we did.

We will be thinking about you and your family. My parents went thru the same thing with my brother. He was born 4 months premie I think, with Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy. But he is still here 30 years later!

Yes it was difficult raising him.. I know I did it. And yes he has been hard to manage in his younger, more violent years, but We made it and he is the sweetest most lovable man you will ever meet.

My heart is beating weird for all the appropriate emotion you are expressing. I also understand where the doctor death is coming from, it was his job to ask. Not everybody will take on the responsibility of the likely problems that a preterm child will have so, try to ease up on the doctor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preterm_birth

I will pray for God to be be kind to your family. God will have to determine what that means.

TYVM everyone! Every second, every minute, every hour that goes by is a blessing. It's funny how perspectives change so quick. Well not funny but you know what I mean. I have tried to write about this for like the last 3 or 4 days. I'd type it all up then read it and hit the back button. Staying focused is all but impossible.

Anyway things started getting hectic in the room and the wife was having faster and heavier contractions. They had her on magnesium to try and stop the labor. She was on her second IV bag of it. The doc said, "Were gonna stop the magnesium cause it's not doing any good." There was a female doctor sitting in the catch seat. She was great! Very orderly and calm. A proffesional if I ever saw one. Mommas pushin and pushing and screaming and all of a sudden catch position doc yells, "Babys out!" I got a pic right then. I can't really look at it yet much. Maybe later I could. It's definately a moving picture to say the least.

They rushed Brooklyn over to the special work station they have for triage. Nurses and doctors standing all around the baby. Doc Death is trying to get a breathing tube down the baby throat. I'm trying to stay as calm as possible but taers are streaming profusely down my face. Theres this one redhead nurse standing on the other side of the baby, I can see her face, her expressions. Shes got a stethescope on the babies chest and she's looking at the monitor. I can barely hear her through the din of emotions. She says, "I don't have a pulse, I can't find a pulse." She's feeling around for one and looking back and forth at the baby and the monitor.

Docs by this point got an air bag thingy hooked up to the tube and he's starting to pump. I didn't see this cause I was watching redhead nurse for her expressions. No pulse she said? I'm thinking. FRIG FRIG FRIG!! Doc hands the airbag thing to the other nurse thats standing there and she starts pumping air into the babies lungs. He pulls his tiny, tiny stethescope out and feels around. He quitly and calmly says, "I got a pulse" OH MY GOD

Theres another nurse, she musta snuck up I'm thinking cause where the hell did she come from? She says, "Sir, in a few minutes we are going to be bringing the baby to the neonatal intensive care unit upstairs. You can walk with us and stay with us till we get her all set up. Then you can return here while we prep the baby. I will walk back with you if you need me too." I honestly can't remember what the hell I said to her but it musta made sense cause she left me alone for awhile. So the nurses are pumping air into Brooklyns lungs, or what little bit of lungs she must have. I honestly don't know what else they were doing, some medications, steroids, that kinda stuff. They got her all mobile and started out. The nurse said, "Lets go sir." I kissed my wife told her i loved her and would be right back and left with the baby. They took a special elevator up. Took seconds and everyone was out the door and down the hall. More blurry din of emotions....

Were in what i guess is gonna be Brooklyns room for as long as needed. Theres a incubator and all kinds of equipment. The, lets go nurse, says, "OK sir we need to return you to your wife so we can prep the baby." Prep the baby for what? I'm thinking. She then says, "Sir I can walk you back to the regular elevators then just turn right downstairs and you will see your wifes room." Apperently I couldn't go in the express elevators back down. Thats fine. The nurse walks me to the regular elevators and says, "Just go down to floor three and turn right OK sir?" I again, don't really remember my reply.

So I get in the elevator and I'm standing there and the damm elevators not going down! I can't figure out whats up. I can hear elevator sounds and what not but I'm not really sure it's moving. I'm honestly on shaky ground so to speak as it is anyway. My heads swimming as anyone could only imagine. That's when I realize I need to hit the dang button for floor 3...The elvevator sounds must have been another elevator. I'm not sure how long I stood in that elevator but it must of been a moment or two. I'm out of the elevator and headed down the hall, more people that won't look at me...

Back in mommas room and there a few nurses working with momma and doing nurse stuff around the room. The placenta and all that. Mommas doing good. Shes fine. Still the rock! I'm standing there helpless asking if theres anything she wants or needs. Trying not to freak the F out. Not sure how long of time went by, maybe a half hour or 45 minutes when Doc Death comes back in the room to talk some more...

Sorry if this is long. It's what really happend and I need to get it out. Lol srry to do it here to you fine folks. More to come, but for now Brooklyn is doing ok. I will finish up the narrative soon, I promise. I need to for myself anyway..

TY

Prayers and best wishes for all of you.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Wow! What a story!
Y'all are in my prayers too!

I pray for the best for you.. You showed more restraint than i would.. I would have throtteled him for asking me that... sometimes doctors just have no heart..

quote Originally posted by pontiackid86: I pray for the best for you.. You showed more restraint than i would.. I would have throtteled him for asking me that... sometimes doctors just have no heart..

Sometimes they don't, but they do have a job to do. Sometimes its not pleasant what has to be done or discussed, but its needed. ( and before anyone says i dont know what its like, i do as i have been there more than once.. )

Wishes go out to everyone involved.

God bless you

Quite unfortunately, I was there about 28 years ago. All I can say is if you have a children's hospital in the area, I'd take your child there as soon as is humanly possible. People who deal with adults are OK for "normal" babies, but probably not yours if there are any further issues. You'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and please take care of your wife and yourself.

You will be in my prayers tonight and tomorrow night and the night after that....

As will Brooklyn.

Thanks for everyones well wishes, prayers and thoughts.

2 solid hours of therapy today


Young Forever by JayZ, Gets me every time...

Another day, another prayer that things are going ok with your family.
God bless.

Prayers for you & yours.

Miracles can, and do, happen. My duaghter was born with an Apgar score of -zero-. That's a dead baby.

She's 14 now.

prayers for you and your very strong wife and Brooklyn.

Hope things are going well with all involved.

Hope your baby gets to eat a nice big ice cream from an ice cream truck in Brooklyn next summer.

Some Doctors may seem "bad" (they ARE human) but keep in mind that some have to deal with some very difficult things an an almost daily basis.
So some are 'distant' . "cold".Detached.
some may seem 'harsh'. Some might not have the best etiquette. But most ARE trying to help the patient.
Some may be awful, but most are NOT. They provide you with options. You choose.

It's emotional and gut-wrenching, makes you feel powerless and ignorant, and angry.

Try to get some rest, buddy.

*We're all pullin' for you guys*

[This message has been edited by TheDigitalAlchemist (edited 05-14-2012).]

Thank you VERY much everyone, it helps me stay kinda well i guess not such a mess, lol.

Brooklyn's hanging tough so far. Day 7. The Doc Death kept saying the first 72 hours would be her toughest. They had her on a level 2 of 3 respirator. Born 1 lb 8 ounces.
Looks just like her big sister. She has been on a level 1 respirator for the most part of the week. They try and let her breath on her own for 20 minute intervals and shes doing ok with it. They have to suction her lungs. She hates it. Heck I probably would too.

Her potassium levels were elevated at one point but they got it under control. Thats was the only call we got one night a few days ago. Friggin dreaded 662 prefix on the incoming call. Thats the NICU phone #...Please I'm not taking personal calls at all right now! You can only imagine why I don't want my phone blowing up right now.

They are using breast milk to line her mouth throat and intestines to help prevent infection. She has lost weight. That is normal with pretty much any birth at the very first. She went down to just a little over a pound.. now shes gaining weight again and is up to 1lb 2 ounces.

They been sticking a Binky to her lips and shes suckling at it. Good sign. IMO.

Shes hanging in there so far and so are we. Got no choice in the matter really anyway right? Either get down or lay down. Right?

I know Doc Deaths doing his job. I know Doc Death is only asking a viable question. It was a legit question. I have fully accepted that fact. He's still friggin gonna be Doc Death to me anyway tho!

Question for you all....

I have an edited image, the very first second. Right when the catch seat Doc yelled, "Babies out!". Any thoughts on posting it? Should I? Shouldn't I?

I'm fine with it. I can look at it now.

TYVM everyone for your time, prayers and well wishes
sorry if my storys jumbled its a mess in my head right now.

I'd like to offer a word of encouragement. I had a daughter born at 23 weeks. This was in 1998, when the technology was not what it is now, and she did not survive. That being said, one week is a HUGE difference in development, and 24 week babies have a dramatically higher chance of survival and a normal life than a 23 week baby, so the fact that your wife was able to carry to 24 weeks is a huge plus. We have families in our church who have children (now in the teens) who were born at 24 weeks, and although they do have some challenges, they are alive, loved, and precious! Not one of the parents would have changed their decisions!

I pray also that your wife does not suffer any long term affects of the Magnesium Sulfate solution (as my wife also had, but did have some longer term affects). It's not a kind treatment, but hopefully delayed labor enough that the lung development steroids were able to help Brooklyn (lung development is the major concern at that gestation).

Please do keep us (the Fiero community) apprised of your daughter. While I obviously can't speak for anyone else, as for me and my house, we will be praying for your family and Brooklyn specifically.

I applaud you for recognizing the preciousness of life. In a world that seems to be moving in a 'utilitarian' direction, it is refreshing.

Kindest Regards

Darryl

[This message has been edited by dsnover (edited 05-14-2012).]

At 1 lb 8 oz your baby is the size of a 25 week baby which good news for you.

http://www.baby2see.com/development/week25.html

That is a lot better than 24 and I think it shows in her ability to breath on her own for 20 minutes at a time. Also the survival rate is 50% rather than 36%.

Brooklyn has my prayers.

Good vibes
I really don’t know what else to say.

More good vibes and if we can help we are only a couple of hours away.

Steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't http://serve.mysmiley.net/c...rs/character0029.gif
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

Prayers offered to you your wife and the precious new little one. As Steve(84fiero123) said if you need anything we are 2 hours away. pm sent.
Melanie

Wow Andrew, what an experience!! I'm really hoping she pulls through without any more complications. In fact I'm confident that she will, since her name is Brooklyn which automatically makes her a badass

Hang in there!

quote Originally posted by weloveour86se: ..Every second, every minute, every hour that goes by is a blessing...

You can say that again.

Keep strong man you are doing everything right.

Praying for you and your family!

quote Originally posted by nitroheadz28: Wow Andrew, what an experience!! I'm really hoping she pulls through without any more complications. In fact I'm confident that she will, since her name is Brooklyn which automatically makes her a badass Hang in there!

Lol it's noteable that I ordered that Kahines deck vent off you and when the package came I was pleasantly surprised. It came from Brooklyn. I did not see that one comeing at all!!

Perhaps we could stop down sometime and have an ice cream with the new shorty. You prolly know a great spot to sit I bet.

Thanks for everyones support and respectfulness

I hope all is well. Still praying for all of your family.
Melanie

quote Originally posted by weloveour86se: Perhaps we could stop down sometime and have an ice cream with the new shorty. You prolly know a great spot to sit I bet.

Nomnomnom I love ice cream. Eh in Brooklyn I can't really think of any extraordinary spots . I did always love this one place in long beach out in long island growing up.

Keep us updated!

Glad things are going well so far. I wish the best for you and your family! Cherish every moment!

Any updates. Still offering prayers for you and your family.
Melanie

Yes sorry Melanie, as much as i hate to say this. This thread is tough for me to write. Selfish of me I know.

Brooklyns hanging tough. This is day 11. They count the first day as well, a day...so day 11. Brooklyn has been stable. They did a scan for bleeding in her brain. Nothing disturbing there. They tried to put a "pic" line in on day 8 and they were unsuccesful. The lines in her belly button are only good for 8 days. After that the risk of infection becomes a concern. On day 9 they went with an arterial line. Apperently not as good as a "pic" line but much better then the risk of infection in the belly button line. They will try the "pic" line another day. I for the life of me can't figure out what a "pic" line is... Momma says something about a long catheter. (sp).

Umm lets see, Brooklyns back up to 1lb 4ounces. Gaining more weight! Shes hanging tough so far! The nurses really dig her. They have ways of reading these babies that you would not imagine. If you know a nurse thank them!!!!! I wanna hug these nurses! They are great. They can tell when shes not happy with how shes laying. They can tell all kinds of things about her.

Srry more about Brooklyn. Her ventilator is set at 36%. This means that the ventilator is doing 36% of the work now. Another good sign. She wants to do the work of living. Again every second, minute, hour she does wanna do the work of living is a giant step!

28 days is our next goal.

Thanks again everyone for your heartfelt well wishes and prayers!

Edit: oops its day 11 for Brooklyn. I can hardly even remember the day of the week anymore...srry

[This message has been edited by weloveour86se (edited 05-16-2012).]

Thanks for updating us with that bit of good news!

quote Originally posted by weloveour86se: Yes sorry Melanie, as much as i hate to say this. This thread is tough for me to write. Selfish of me I know. .... I can hardly even remember the day of the week anymore...srry

Thank you for posting.
No you post MUCH better than I would under the circumstances.

No need for the sorry. Glad things are going well. Keep us posted when you can.
Melanie

Thanks for the update. Just to second what Melanie said, no need for apologies. You have enough to worry about without us being a source of stress. Update what you can, when you can as you find the time, but don't feel pressured by us. You take care of yourself and your family and know that we're still here praying for you all.

Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, her for her big debut is Brooklyn Elisabeth.

I spoke with Momma, I should call her Momma Rock, and she says, "Yep, a pic is fine." Man this chick rocks. It wasn't really a discussion. It went more like..., "hey babe how do you feel about me posting a pic of Brooklyn in the forum?" To which she replied, "Yep." Momma Rocks hehe

Here she is. Her internet premier. Facebook don't even get this yet!


Shes holding on to the lines. See her left hand? Thats some deep, deep symbolism. It's like she's holding on, well actually she is.

OK enough doddling the baby...

Brooklyn is hanging tough again today. Her blood work looks good. She's up to 3.5cc's per feeding. Her feeding goes up by .5 cc's every 12 hours. She has not had a bowel movement yet that the nurses have seen. They say it is possible that she had one during birth that went undetected and she just hasn't need one yet. The nurses report hearing gurgling sound from her belly. They claim this is a great sign and her lack of bowel movement should change any day, even moment... She's eating, she's gonna poo.

Thanks again for you prayers and well wishes!

Thank you Momma Rock if you ever sit down and read this, I love you very much!!

Edit...dang typos

[This message has been edited by weloveour86se (edited 05-17-2012).]