I first off want to apologize to anyone that I have offended on this forum. That seems to be my thing, and I wish that it wasn't.

Amy and I are separating after nearly 5 years. We have a beautiful 8.5 month old, and it is not in his best interests for me to stay here. I have her father threatening to kill me, I have a personal protection order from my schyzophrenic neighbor that told the courts last month that I am a murderer. His fears about me are unwarranted, and when I went to court, I became a blabbering fool. The police have been to this house nearly 20 times in the past several months. I cannot take the stress any longer, and Amy does not see what is happening. Perhaps I am the one blind? But, it no longer matters, only Benjamin matters, and I seem to be the common denomenator in all of the strife.

My 87 GT will be up for sale soon. I am completely saddened by this, and I don't expect to feel any different. It is something that I must do. Times are difficult right now, and I have a feeling that a new home is best for her. And me.

I seemed to have a good run here, but it is now over. My life is full of ups and downs, and is intune with a Yo Yo. I have worked hard, made tons of money, lost it, went homeless, then worked hard again, made tons of money, lost it, and now homeless again. I don't try and let the forum know everything about me, but alas, it is what it is.

Perhaps I will be in the Fiero ownership program again, but just not right now. I have an incredible love for this forum, and it has provided me with many friendships, laughs, and tears. I will never leave here, but I am just not sure what the immediate future holds for me. At this point in time, Amy will have everything, and I will figure it out. We have built a life together, but now it is in ruins.

My mind hurts. My body aches. Things are just not right...

Tony Kania

No need to leave, this place can be a good place to vent/ get support/ find people who care about you.


You have a lot of crazy stuff around you, you don't mention why you are your wife are splitting, (because of your fil?) but it might be a good idea to get away from the craziness - wish you could take your wife + kid with you - by leaving, you are dooming your kid to deal with that craziness + his dad left him.

Not that you aren't dealing with a huge amount of craziness, but think about your kid. (I KNOW you ARE, I'm just sayin'...)

Don't leave here, but don't type a ton on here and neglect the situations around you in RL...

Good luck man

[This message has been edited by FieroRumor (edited 07-12-2011).]

Check your PMs.

Check for a Fiero 12-step recovery program near you, and best of luck in the challenges ahead Tony.

Dang. Well, if this is truly what is going to happen, I am incredibly sorry for your situation. You'll rise ahead again. You always do.

I am not leaving here. You folks have entirely too much to offer. It is just that I need to get away, and may be (will be) without a computer for a while here. I have my phone, but that limits things.

Benjamin is not being left by me at all. I am not leaving him (I can read that in my OP now. ). Actually, his grandfather is good to him, just hates me. Even the situation with the neighbors is goofy. They keep telling Amy that they love her and my son, and it is really getting to me. The neighbor takes pictures of me all day long. Really! If I am outside, he will come out and snap, record, or just harrass me. I have to stay 25 feet from him, but he actually will stand on the property line and not allow me to enter/leave my home! No joke. I just cannot live like this anymore, and Amy does not see what I am going through. Rather than drag her through the mud with the trials of my life, I am just going to give her the chance to be happy.

Once again, this is to give Benjamin a better home. This home is too stressed out, and it will affect him eventually. I cannot live with myself if he has to go through strife because of his parents. It will just not happen.

I am so embarrassed about this right now. I really do want to cry. I don't know what to do? My brain is mush, and thoughts are fleeting.

Tony

Edit: I want to add this, my court appearance on June 8th went all wrong. I was found to be guilty and a PPO was ordered for the 50 year old son, who never left home, owned a car, or even comes outside unless it is to take pics of me, against me. I have never threatened this family, and what got me is him recording me telling him (yelling) to get the "f" off of my property. I went off on him in May, and that is what got me. Now, they take pics, record, and even will not allow me to walk freely in my own yard with my son in my arms. (The day after the court case, in which they were "in fear of our lives from Tony Kania", the son put his arms on the fence between our homes, and due to the ne ruling, I had to take my Son through the bushes to get back to the house, rather than take the path that I hand laid in our back yard. I can open my garage right now, and he will walk out with his camera. I did it last night with an Officer present, and there is nothing that I can do about it. He just stood there taking pics of me talking to the Spokane Officer. Perfectly legal, and the neighbor claims that it is for his protection because he has "noticed a change in me since the court case, and needs to protect himself from an obviously disturbed individual.")

I just cannot win anymore, and feel that for my safety, I need to leave. If I violate this order, (Amy does not understand the rammifications of this order) I will be put in jail for one year. It is insane to live like this, and it just won't stop. What brought the cops to my home last night, is the neighbors sprinkler. I go wash my truck yesterday, and he immediately adjusts his sprinklers so that my interior gets sprayed. Quite literallly his sprinklers now water my lawn, truck, and driveway. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: I first off want to apologize to anyone that I have offended on this forum. That seems to be my thing, and I wish that it wasn't. Amy and I are separating after nearly 5 years. We have a beautiful 8.5 month old, and it is not in his best interests for me to stay here. I have her father threatening to kill me, I have a personal protection order from my schyzophrenic neighbor that told the courts last month that I am a murderer. His fears about me are unwarranted, and when I went to court, I became a blabbering fool. The police have been to this house nearly 20 times in the past several months. I cannot take the stress any longer, and Amy does not see what is happening. Perhaps I am the one blind? But, it no longer matters, only Benjamin matters, and I seem to be the common denomenator in all of the strife. My 87 GT will be up for sale soon. I am completely saddened by this, and I don't expect to feel any different. It is something that I must do. Times are difficult right now, and I have a feeling that a new home is best for her. And me. I seemed to have a good run here, but it is now over. My life is full of ups and downs, and is intune with a Yo Yo. I have worked hard, made tons of money, lost it, went homeless, then worked hard again, made tons of money, lost it, and now homeless again. I don't try and let the forum know everything about me, but alas, it is what it is. Perhaps I will be in the Fiero ownership program again, but just not right now. I have an incredible love for this forum, and it has provided me with many friendships, laughs, and tears. I will never leave here, but I am just not sure what the immediate future holds for me. At this point in time, Amy will have everything, and I will figure it out. We have built a life together, but now it is in ruins. My mind hurts. My body aches. Things are just not right... Tony Kania

Hey Tony, I don't know the whole situation, but I remember the other post. I don't know how much help this is, but I would go to your wife and beg / plead for her to consider a move with you to another place (where there are better jobs). Just tell her to give you a year in the new place, and if not... then go forward with your current plans. It can't hurt to ask. I know your father in law is insane...

Stay strong Tony... life has it's ups and downs, just hang in there, and be strong for your son.

You've never offended me Tony. Do what you think is necessary. "To thine own self be true." Take care and peace be with you. I know you had some difficult times with family, but I don't even dare try and give advice. Try not to be a stranger.

Jim

[This message has been edited by jimbolaya (edited 07-12-2011).]

Take care, Tony.

I can't offer anything that hasn't already been said. But I couldn't not jump in and wish you well.

Ya tony just cuz your gettin rid of the fiero dosent mean you have to leave here.. your a good dude and if you do leave i wish you and your family the best but...... you better stay (lol remember PK is mobile now and I'll hunt ya down )

Gonna be a lot of breezing through here today...

Please understand, I am not leaving life, my son, or this wonderful forum. I just hit a nearly unmoveable obstacle in life, and it will impact everything about me.

I died on the first day of this new year. Several minutes of no heart beat, breaths, or life. After $30,000 there is no difinative answer to what had happened to me. Bills are actually piling up, and I am only a burden to Amy at this point. I just don't want to stress this house anymore. It seems that a lot of things have happened to me this year, and I have no control over them. I cannot get my mind off of her father, the neighbor, or all of the related stress' that accompany things of this nature. I sleep sporadically, or not at all. I have not eaten for several weeks now. A bite of Ramen here, a slice of pizza there, but nothing of real substance. Stress makes me not eat, and I have lost over 15 lbs this past two weeks. I went from 195 to 180, and I am not happy with it. I am 39, and in great shape, so when the tininest thing changes, I can feel it internally.

I kept out of threads that would bring me to an argument, and recently have began to state my opinion on this forum again. It is not good. I need to be a better person. I need to treat others better. Actually, I would give the shirt off of my back for anyone, but I have a nasty habit of turning the water completely off of those that have bitten me. I have no middle ground, and my A personallity is beginning, once again, to be my downfall.

Perhaps I need to see a doctor, but for me personally, I cannot. I struggled hard with depression for most of my life. Actually, all of it, but I am able to keep it at bay. Well, she rears her head again. I usually can workout, play with the Fiero, or any other numerous things to free my mind. Lately I cannot. (Even now, I sit here on this keyboard, instead of working on things to better my life. ) Even driving is clouded. I can pick up dimes in a turn, but lately I cannot stay between the yellow lines.

Thanks for all of the kind words. I still will be here, but I just don't know what the rest of the day, weeks, months, or even years hold for this guy. I always try to give more than I recieve, and lately I just feel that I have been taking more than giving. I need to feel better, and you folks always help others. I really am looking for those kind words, and maybe even a little talking to. Right now, I cannot add two with two and get four. It really feels like three to me.

Tony

Wish you had some friends who could have backed up your side of things... or could take videos of all this crap happening...

hope things turn out ok

Tony, embrace your inner hippie Dont let it get to ya. Trust me, let it roll off your back, keep pushing forward, and it'll work out. Not to mention it is good for your health since it alleviates the stress. Ignore the stress, and work towards making things better for yourself and your family (particularly that son of yours).

As always, my PM box is always available, and I am as well most times. Feel free to drop me a line, maybe I can help ya out a bit.

Good luck, just keep trying to do the right thing, removing yourself from the situation sounds like a good start.

Thanks guys. This is not a poor me thread. I can take care of myself. :thubmsup: It just seems that life is pounding me right now, and I have been too hard headed to even feel the blows. A bit of thanks to the forum, a little sorry to anyone that I had ever offended, and a dash of salt for my wounds. I have real love for many of you, and don't want to think that I am bailing. Just there may be a period of time that I cannot enjoy this forum.

I have tried to list my car several times today. I just cannot hit that button to place her in the Mall.

Tony

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: Thanks guys. This is not a poor me thread. I can take care of myself. :thubmsup: It just seems that life is pounding me right now, and I have been too hard headed to even feel the blows. A bit of thanks to the forum, a little sorry to anyone that I had ever offended, and a dash of salt for my wounds. I have real love for many of you, and don't want to think that I am bailing. Just there may be a period of time that I cannot enjoy this forum. I have tried to list my car several times today. I just cannot hit that button to place her in the Mall. Tony

I am sorry to hear this.
Keep your head up, the skys WILL clear, I promise.
Just keep plugging along & stick with it.

Hmmmm, I am now in Washington, and have no Fiero.
You are thinking about selling your Fiero and would like to see it stay in Washington......

8.5 months since she had the baby? Hmmm...hormones all over the place, feeling vulnerable...and Daddy knows that. Parents always seem to be the best bet in these instances, especially when Dad is gunning for you
Get away for a while. Get yourself going in the right direction again. 6 months could well do it, for a guy like you. Head up. Proud. Become somebody ANYBODY would want as a husband, regardless of what Daddy might say.
It is strange how women don't want somebody back when they are begging forgiveness/ start again/ whatever....and then, regret what they did when it seems they were wrong all along, and their hormones get back to normal The more you seem to fall apart, the more they lose respect. The more you show your strength and independance, the more they start wanting to come back. ON YOUR terms though. Get the power back. And then USE it. If it doesn't work then, well it was doomed anyway.
reminds me of that somewhat whistful adage.." If you have something, and it wants to fly...then let it. If it comes back, it will be yours forever. If it doesn't..it wasn't yours anyway'.
Don't fall apart...pull yourself together...you will be FAR more attractive to her then
Nick

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 07-12-2011).]

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: I have tried to list my car several times today. I just cannot hit that button to place her in the Mall. Tony

Perhaps you should relieve a little stress and sell your neighbors car?

In all seriousness, take care of yourself and your son. He will always need a father as he grows older. Eventually, things will shape back up. Sometimes couples need that time apart to reflect on the past and current events. I highly doubt you and Amy will be permanently separated.....it just takes time.

I am blessed for all the problems that have come my way. Some I don't understand why yet, but I know I will realize they were useful later on. Even you say how much I have changed since you have met me. There is alot in my life that I hide from others. I learned alot just now of your situation that I did not know before. You are definitely up against some rough times. I don't feel you should be selling your fiero at all. It is a major part of who you are. I feel doing this would be throwing your life away in a sense. Maybe put it into storage for a while. I recently went through a weird change where my lifestyle and the things that I enjoyed felt pointless to me. Now I am slowly looking back and I am thankful that I did not get rid of the things that truly made me happy. Time away is definitely something that would do you good right now. If I were you, i would get away from that house next door. But as for Amy, I do not know the situation between you two. I never really met her but the occasional "hello" when she would come into the garage. You always told me how amazing she was, and how you never fought. Look back on your life and see where your happiness came from, be sure not to get rid of anything that brought you happiness.

Tony, Tony, TONY!!! You're doing it wrong. Bills piling up from when you were sick, are NOT a burden on her. They are a burden on both of you. You both agreed to be with each other in sickness and in health, better or for worse. And you are worried about the ramifications on Ben's life with a stressed out home if you leave. I can guarantee, being experienced in the matter, he will be stressed more without you in his life every day. As for your neighbors, have a privacy fence put up. Don't put it up yourself, because they will just come outside to the property line and force you to stop working.

I remember your previous thread about the in-law. There's nothing you will ever do to make him civil to you if Amy does not step in and take control of that situation. I don't want to badmouth her, because I know you love her very much. But if she can't see what he is doing to you and your family, she is blind. I realize that is her father, but this is HER family too. That 'blood is thicker than water' sh1t is just that. Wake her up, Tony.

Lastly, no matter what happens, I am on your side, and I am your friend. If you need ANYTHING, and I am able to provide it, it is yours. DO NOT hesitate to ask.

And also, do not feel ashamed. You have already proven you are a strong person for dealing with as much as you have already. Keep that head up Tony.

[This message has been edited by Hulki U. My-BFF (edited 07-12-2011).]

It is amazing to me how much life is behind each user name on this forum, how many ups and downs, how much happiness and pain.

Tony I truly wish you the best. I've always enjoyed agreeing (and disagreeing) with you, and i truly hope and prayer for you that your life will rise from the ashes of your current situation. It definitely seems time to move. I assume you've already considered asking her to come with you?

If you need to vent, this forum is a great place to do it. None better in the internet world.

Patrick (Flamberge)

Sometimes I feel like I must have messed up in my last life and this is the place they warned me about. Hang in there Tony. I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

[This message has been edited by carnut122 (edited 07-12-2011).]

quote Originally posted by Flamberge: It is amazing to me how much life is behind each user name on this forum.....

And for me, there is alot of pain with that, if I am to believe how some here portray themselves.
I really hope that some of what I read is not really how people think and are, in their hearts.

quote Originally posted by 82-T/A [At Work]: Hey Tony, I don't know the whole situation, but I remember the other post. I don't know how much help this is, but I would go to your wife and beg / plead for her to consider a move with you to another place (where there are better jobs). Just tell her to give you a year in the new place, and if not... then go forward with your current plans. It can't hurt to ask. I know your father in law is insane... Stay strong Tony... life has it's ups and downs, just hang in there, and be strong for your son.

What he said.

Wow Tony, making space between you and this fool sounds like the only choice. Make sure you update your address to make sure the PPO does not become permanent. This sort of crap can effect getting a job. Try to make it go away as soon as possible.

I do not know how people keep from going crazy when going nuts would feel so good. Be strong!

quote Originally posted by Boondawg: And for me, there is alot of pain with that, if I am to believe how some here portray themselves. I really hope that some of what I read is not really how people think and are, in their hearts.

Some are, some aren't. IRL I am not 100% the way I am here, but I try to be honorable and honest in both realms.

Some people take online interaction very seriously (you and I included Boonie), but many people do not, and are here for entertainment or fun, so what they say has no impact or meaning as far as they are concerned. Not pointing anyone specific out, just saying it like it is. It is sad that some people hate because they felt hated against, some people hurt because they have been hurt, and others will sign over their lives if just one person will treat them with a modicum of approval. But that's how real life is and we see a microcosm here of the same phenomenon. I can honestly say though that through my limited interactions here, there are very few people I feel negatively towards, and they have all been banned already.

quote Originally posted by FriendGregory: I do not know how people keep from going crazy when going nuts would feel so good. Be strong!

Awesome quote! Thank you.

I know that I have friends here. It has been proven.

Not often, but I do get depressed. Confusion is the symptom, and disaray is what follows. I need to stay strong. I know this. I am tripping right now, but haven't fallen.

I want to write just how wonderful Amy is as a mother. She is well over 100% in that department. She was meant for this, and I am proud to provide her with that. She just doesn't get the situations at hand. She never had to fight for anything, go hungry, or truely be without. People that have never been through strife, will never understand those that do. She don't understand the threats that her father made. She don't get the situation with the neighbors. Things of that nature she blocks out, and I suffer badly from that. Those are some of the issues. perhaps it is time? perhaps it is no? I just don't know what to do. I love her, and she is easily the best thing that I have had, but I just can't get over the ineffection. I need someone to back me. I would die for her. She, not so much for me.

For those that have offered a hand, expect one right back from me. I appreciate it, and won't let you wonderful folks down. I am not in need of anything material, just peace. Man, peace would be golden right now.

Tony

Edit: Flamberge, you have quite often been the voice of reason in many threads. Thanks...

[This message has been edited by Tony Kania (edited 07-12-2011).]

I haven't been here long, but I truly hope you can get through this. Dealing with a neighbor as insane as this man would drive me to my absolute edge. I would have to use every fiber of my being to keep myself from strangling him. You are much stronger than I, and I wish you the best.

Tony, you've been a good guy to me on the forum and in PMs. I hate to see you suffering like this. Your situation is so foreign to me though, that unfortunately I have no real words of wisdom with which to appease you.

All I can say then is that I wish you the best. Try to maintain your composure and your dignity. Hopefully things will eventually fall into place... sooner rather than later.

Hey, just saw this thread, all my best in whatever you decide to do, stay strong and know that many of us are thinking of you and pulling for you.

Keep us updated as you feel comfortable and have the time. All my best.

Tony, are you out there? Just wanted to make sure you're doing okay.

Yeah... Needed to actually work out today. I have just felt like such a lump lately, and that is a great stress relief. I have been walking Ben about 25 miles per week in his jogger. Just nothing of substance. Actually felt pretty good afterwards.

A lot was said today, and still no conclusion on what we are doing. I did wake up with an attitude, but a good one. I need to remember that even if today sucks a$$, tomorrow has to be better. And so on...

Hulki, expect a PM in a few days.

I can't remember, but did I ever tell you that I love this forum. Thank you,

Tony

If you aren't making any mistakes, you aren't making enough decisions.

I'm really sorry about all of what is happening to you. I wish you the best of luck, and that things get better soon

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: *snip* I just cannot win anymore, and feel that for my safety, I need to leave. If I violate this order, (Amy does not understand the rammifications of this order) I will be put in jail for one year. It is insane to live like this, and it just won't stop. What brought the cops to my home last night, is the neighbors sprinkler. I go wash my truck yesterday, and he immediately adjusts his sprinklers so that my interior gets sprayed. Quite literallly his sprinklers now water my lawn, truck, and driveway. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I agree its time to go. Even tho it means the idiots "win", its best just to pack up and get away from them. It would be a shame if an accident happened after you had moved away and were no longer there to 'watch' your neighbors house..

NEWS UPDATE...

The neighbor is a Pennocks lurker. If you type my name into any of the search engines, a lot of Fiero stuff pops up. Well, I have had my suspiscions for a while, but got confirmation the other day.

We have VERY hard water...

Well, the neighbor readjusted his sprinklers to hit half of my drive. They never have done that before, and It landed up hitting my truck. Windows slightly opened, just washed a few hours before. So, we call the Crime Check, and let them know about the issue. (We are told to call, and log the incidents. ) Not sounding like a big deal, but it accompanied him taking pictures of me, the father looking in my truck, on my property, where they were told to not enter.

After several hour, and a continuing taking of pictures of me, while he sat there laughing at me?, the Police show up. We talk over what is happening, and all goes as normal, then the Officer goes and talks with the neighbors.

End of story, or so I thought?

Just the other day, I finally got my GT put back together complete, and polished the whole car out to finish it off. I spent a ton of hours on the car, and the new paint on the nose is still curing. You folks know that I spend my time taking care of my kid, and what is ours. NOT going to the bars, or partying. Well, while the neighbor took pics of me in my garage, standing next to my car, I had found that really odd. They had turned the sprinklers on earlier! The passenger side, which I did not see while pulling it into the garage after being parked in my drive, was all water stained! Rims, paint, moldings, glass, EVERYTHING! Literally half of my GT is now fracked! Hours, and hours, and hours, of work. More Crime Check documentation. Unbelieveable?!

Yesterday, Amy is taking Benjamin out of his car seat, and I was finishing up the lawn. I stopped, went to grab my son, and there he is taking pictures of us, in our driveway! Every fricking day! They have a Gamo camera in the tree, directed at my truck. At night, I get the wonderful flash. Sweet! A fellow Fiero enthusiast borrowed me a chicken mask. So they now have pics of me wearing that.

There is plenty more, and I just may put it all up here. The reason that I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A LURKER NEIGHBOR BOY, is my secret. My name is Tony Kania, feel free to remember it for the rest of your life. (No, really, with all this court stuff son, you will remember it. And smoke you, oh I will. )

My HOME is the one on the left. That is where I lay my head. The neighbor, who is 50, STILL lives in his PARENTS house on the right. Nobody mows my lawn. Nobody comes in to clean my house once a week. We do it all. He, well, our neighbors that are on this block don't even know what the son looks like? I have the backing of every neighbor, and 20 plus letters to accompany this.





More to follow...

Tony

More pics. I hope he got my good side?

Ryan came by to install his TLG lighting, and low and behold, neighbor boy pulling out to snap a few pics. Nice. Folks can see him, he is not invisible with his cameras. Other neighbors find it very creepy, and if he would just ask them, then well....

On a very serious note, can he be stopped from taking pictures of Benjamin? I mean, if he is told not to take pics, then can he take pics of my new born? Any answers would be greatly appreciated.

Tony

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: More pics. I hope he got my good side? Ryan came by to install his TLG lighting, and low and behold, neighbor boy pulling out to snap a few pics. Nice. Folks can see him, he is not invisible with his cameras. Other neighbors find it very creepy, and if he would just ask them, then well.... On a very serious note, can he be stopped from taking pictures of Benjamin? I mean, if he is told not to take pics, then can he take pics of my new born? Any answers would be greatly appreciated. Tony

Here is where the sucky laws come into play. Anyone can photograph anything as long as they are not on private property. He can stand on the street and click away at your house and you as long as he does not trespass, take photographs through a window in a private area (bathroom, bedroom, or upskirts). That is what really sucks about our laws.

Don't stalking laws apply when someone is clearly following your every move?

If stalking charges don't apply, this is clearly a case of harassement.

Start taking pictures of him and his picture taking. Whenever you see him taking pictures you take your own. Since he's screwed up in the head anyway it might freak him out. Smile when you take his picture. It might be like waving to someone that's flipping you off.....it really gets to them and pisses them off. : )

Mark