You could always ship some of your stuff to Brad's if you really wanted to keep it (you can probably fit a bunch of tools in a couple USPS flat rate boxes). How are you getting over this way? A plane or bus? I think the nearest airport is KC and the nearest GreyHound is Joplin. The bus would probably be a lot cheaper, although you'd have to deal with the weird people that are usually on it.
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[This message has been edited by Alibi (edited 08-15-2010).]
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07:45 PM
87antuzzi Member
Posts: 11151 From: Surrounded by corn. Registered: Feb 2009
You could always ship some of your stuff to Brad's if you really wanted to keep it (you can probably fit a bunch of tools in a couple USPS flat rate boxes). How are you getting over this way? A plane or bus? I think the nearest airport is KC and the nearest GreyHound is Joplin. The bus would probably be a lot cheaper, although you'd have to deal with the weird people that are usually on it.
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I want to drive. I would love to take my fiero out there but that aint gonna happen. I will most likely fly.
Its quite a ways to drive and risk a break-down, although I bet if you planned it in advance you could make stops at other fiero folks on the way and get some contact numbers in case you break down. Just depends on what kind of shape your car is in.
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07:53 PM
jimbolaya Member
Posts: 10652 From: Virginia Beach, Virginia Registered: Feb 2007
So then he'll be replacing the worn out corn cobs then. Good job to you and your wife Brad, but like Tut said, you already have a plus from me and I can't give you another.
Good vibes sent to you 87Antuzzi, and I want to say to you Brad you and your wife should be very proud of yourselves, many people say they would do things like what you're doing but few actually do. Keep us posted on everything, we are all pulling for you.
So then he'll be replacing the worn out corn cobs then. Good job to you and your wife Brad, but like Tut said, you already have a plus from me and I can't give you another.
Jim
I'm impressed that you actually know about the corn cobs. Poor antuzzi, I think Eric is right, it'll be a huge culture shock.
I hope it's a change for the better.
I was talking with a friend today, and asked him to keep an eye out for a job for Kris, and he said he "may" be needing an assistant. This is a seriously good job that puts his foot in the door for a major Telecom company.
Now, just to get him here.
Brad
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10:50 PM
kevin Member
Posts: 2722 From: Elk Grove, CA USA Registered: Jan 2000
I feel for your situation. If there is anything you need, just give me a call. Do have my cell? Rather than post it here, just e-mail me. I would hope to offer anything I can.
Looks like I'm going to have to save back some of my corn cobs for you too. You'll need the extra for a while 'till Kris gets the hang of it
Anyway, I've been talking with Brad and we're going to try to clean out a room towards the end of this upcoming week. Yank up the old carpet and maybe go after some used furniture or something. We'll see
Im putting this into motion. I would like to keep my car but that is not going to happen. I just hope I can find what im looking for.
Be careful with that. You will find the same thing all the rest of us did--and that is--you will find whatever you find--period. It's up to you to take that and make a life with and around it. Try to avoid having preconcieved notions regarding this--most of us older folks are still looking too. This is just a step--not the whole journey.
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12:16 AM
cliffw Member
Posts: 37837 From: Bandera, Texas, USA Registered: Jun 2003
Originally posted by maryjane: Be careful with that. You will find the same thing all the rest of us did--and that is--you will find whatever you find--period. It's up to you to take that and make a life with and around it. Try to avoid having preconcieved notions regarding this--most of us older folks are still looking too. This is just a step--not the whole journey.
Wise advice Don. Better said than I could/did.
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Originally posted by cliffw: I would not think of Brad's place as a halfway house, as you will never be halfway through your journey in life.
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Originally posted by Alibi: The bus would probably be a lot cheaper, although you'd have to deal with the weird people that are usually on it.
Half the fun is the spice of life. The bus is an experience that I am glad that I had. I took off for a new life,just out of high school. On the bus, on the way to my first oilfield job. I did not know what to expect and did not expect what I got myself into, . But I had something to work with. Heck, a bus ride sounds kinda good right about now. Too bad I am so busy.
[This message has been edited by cliffw (edited 08-16-2010).]
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12:27 AM
PFF
System Bot
87antuzzi Member
Posts: 11151 From: Surrounded by corn. Registered: Feb 2009
*sigh* now my dad is saying he wants to go I dont have the heart to tell him he is pretty well nuts like my mom is. And she if filled with stupid drama such as saying "im all she has in life" bla bla bla. I have heard all this crap before and she it trying to put a guilt trip on me. She even said she would check herself into a rehab in texas for 3 months if i did not go . Yea. Brad. please do not do anything drastic yet. I want it set in stone (its only set in soap stone now)
You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free
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01:52 AM
pokeyfiero Member
Posts: 16233 From: Free America! Registered: Dec 2003
You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free
Well that is a good run away from your problems song I'll give it that.
When he gets older he will see you can't run. THe more you near your destination the more you keep slip sliding away.
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02:24 AM
faaaaq Member
Posts: 3856 From: Madison WI, USA Registered: Sep 2009
Originally posted by 87antuzzi: nuts like my mom is. And she if filled with stupid drama such as saying "im all she has in life" bla bla bla. I have heard all this crap before and she it trying to put a guilt trip on me
my mom used to say that and say if i ever left her shed kill herself. guilt trips dont work on me, so i left.
Yup, just sounds like a guilt trip to me. Rehab unfortunately doesn't always work either. If she wanted to fix things she should have gone to rehab *before* you got the point of needing to leave. I really doubt she's going to change her ways. Besides, you're 19 so you're a legal adult and can come and go as you please anyway. You have to do whats right for you. If your dad wants out too then he'll have to be the one to do so on his own terms.
Brad's place needs the work anyway so no worries about us doing anything drastic
[This message has been edited by Alibi (edited 08-16-2010).]
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02:30 AM
87antuzzi Member
Posts: 11151 From: Surrounded by corn. Registered: Feb 2009
ok. **** hit the fan. she came walking down stairs wit the rifle. i grabbed it and ripped the bolt out then took the bolts out of the others and threw them outside. WTF. im shaking. i dont want to be here. im leaving shortly (dont have a car so im walking somewhere)
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02:49 AM
Blacktree Member
Posts: 20770 From: Central Florida Registered: Dec 2001
I agree with Don. Give them enough fore warning, and they'll figure out how to suck you back into the drama. I know all about that, too. Here's a little story:
After my parents got divorced, they were so bitter about it that they would use the kids (my sister and myself) as pawns to get back at each other. I got tired of the BS, and decided to join the military to get away from it. I lived with my dad at the time, and knew he wouldn't be happy to find out that I was getting the F outta dodge. I was 19 years old, so it was time to strike out on my own anyway.
So when I joined the Army, I didn't tell my dad until after I went to the MEPS station and underwent the enlistment ceremony. There's no going back after that. You're in the Army, whether you like it or not. So when I got home and told my dad I decided to join the Army, he asked when I go to enlist. I said I already did, and I ship out in a week. Then he started up with the guilt trip about how I was abandoning him and all that. Yeah... whatever...
He was so pissed, he refused to come to the airport to see me off. I had to bum a ride from one of my friends' dad instead.
Anyway, sorry if the story was boring. But there was a point in there somewhere. And that is if someone is used to using you as an emotional crutch, they will desperately try to keep you from leaving them. The sucky part is it's not because they care about you. It's because they are selfish. If you allow them to suck you back in, you will eventually end up just as messed up as them.
So get out a hammer and chisel, and set it in stone, Kris.
[ edit to add: just read that last post... MY GOD you need to get the hell outta there ASAP ]
[This message has been edited by Blacktree (edited 08-16-2010).]
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02:53 AM
87antuzzi Member
Posts: 11151 From: Surrounded by corn. Registered: Feb 2009
ok...i am calmed down now. here is what happened. My mom and I were arguing. She started saying stupid stuff and i shut my bedroom door and it was calm. She comes in and starts throwing stuff. Im thinking....okkkkkkkk. then she comes downstairs with a box of shells and a rifle. I grab the rifle and slide the bolt getting rid of the shells. I then slid the bolt out and threw it outside and defused it for a while. She then proceeds to tell me how her life is my fault and all that drama. my friend calls me up and says we should go to the school and hang out and just let her pass out. I was game. I walked to the school where 3 of my friends met me. After 15 minutes or so the cops show up. He asks what we are doing and i told him "im having a bad time at home". He told my friends to take off and then talked to me. I did not want to tell him what happened but i finially did. He asked if I wanted a welfare check (no pun intended) I told him yes. He then asked what we were packing at the house. That list went on for about 5 minutes. After i told him the list he call in 6 backup cruisers. We shot the **** for 30 minutes or so while everyone showed up to she school. He then said "get in my car and we will go to your house" I walked into the front of the car and he told me to get in the back cell thing. I have never been in a squad car in my life. Im thinking "ITS A TRAP!!!! im going to jail for something stupid". I was pleased when we pulled into my driveway. I then tried to get out by opening the door and realised i was in a squad car lol. So i sat in there for 30 minutes or so while they talked to my mom. I was convenienced i was going to jail. But he let me out and told they were taking her in on a 5150 charge. I was all like "sweet". They loaded her up and left. I left on a good note with a firm hand shake and a thank you. So my friend shows up on his bike and he said "dude, i thought she killed you. I show up and there was 6 cars in your driveway". So we hung out for a minute (2 hours) then i took him home. needless to say it has been a stress full couple of days "yesterday she totaled a 60k boat". I have not eaten in 2 days lol and have been stressed beyond belief. I already have sleeping troubles when im stressed. needless to say i will be up all night lol.
So what does that code mean? Domestic disturbance? Assualt?
Glad you got your mom out of the house long enough to give you some peace and have some time to pack up. Eat some cereal or something and get some sleep. Once you get up, start packing/mailing stuff to Brad's and just get the hell out.
Tools and other small heavy stuff can be mailed in flat-rate boxes for fairly cheap. Use clothes to cushion them if you like. Sell what you can, but if I were you'd I'd be gone before your mom gets out of jail even if you don't get everything sold or move what you want to sell to a friends house and sleep on a couch for a couple days, just anything to stay out of the house.
**** this is some bull **** ! hospital wants me to go get her. I dont want her home. I dont want to get her. I dont want anything to do with her. **** that **** !. im tired now. i want to go to bed. i dont want to drive and pick her ass up . i always brake down to the stupid bullshit she causes. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! why are they letting her ass out? stupid ass hosptial people with their phD. **** THE DOCTOR! gawd. i just want to punch the douche bag in his face!
**** this is some bull **** ! hospital wants me to go get her. I dont want her home. I dont want to get her. I dont want anything to do with her. **** that **** !. im tired now. i want to go to bed. i dont want to drive and pick her ass up . i always brake down to the stupid bullshit she causes. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! why are they letting her ass out? stupid ass hosptial people with their phD. **** THE DOCTOR! gawd. i just want to punch the douche bag in his face!
If she's in on psych hold, they shouldn't be releasing her.
I'm sure you were given a card for the officer that helped you out in the first place (if your cops are like any of the ones I've encountered that is)...Give him/her a call and explain the situation to them.
On another note, congrats. If ya get the chance, I am interested in finding out more info about that roll-a-way box and the tools you have...drop me a pm if you would.
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06:44 AM
tutnkmn Member
Posts: 3426 From: York, England, U.K. Living in Ohio Registered: May 2006
im home. 4:22am. picked her up. god a comedown is a nasty thing. on a side not did you know a nissan frontier without a govoner will do a 130mph? At least i had a fun drive down there LOL. almost hit a deer and put it in a pole doing 90 on drycreek road. then i picked her up. big fight. i got out and started walking. she tried to run me down in the truck LOL. am i a little fruity at the moment. yes. i have been up for 24 hours and have delt with a lot of **** . I guess im the ****up because i have fixit tickets. LOL. this coming from a herion junkie. i guess she is perfect and i am just a world class ass hole. who knows. tomorrow is a new day filled with new problems (so getting that tattooed) i dont have a tatoo and kind of like that. I will disagree that in the morning. like i said. im fruity at the moment. why did i just tell u guys i drove like **** to release stress *watches rating bar go to hell* my mom wants me to tell you guys she said thanks for the 2 hours of sleep she will be getting. ahhhhhhhhh. go away LOL.
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07:31 AM
tutnkmn Member
Posts: 3426 From: York, England, U.K. Living in Ohio Registered: May 2006
im home. 4:22am. picked her up. god a comedown is a nasty thing. on a side not did you know a nissan frontier without a govoner will do a 130mph? At least i had a fun drive down there LOL. almost hit a deer and put it in a pole doing 90 on drycreek road. then i picked her up. big fight. i got out and started walking. she tried to run me down in the truck LOL. am i a little fruity at the moment. yes. i have been up for 24 hours and have delt with a lot of **** . I guess im the ****up because i have fixit tickets. LOL. this coming from a herion junkie. i guess she is perfect and i am just a world class ass hole. who knows. tomorrow is a new day filled with new problems (so getting that tattooed) i dont have a tatoo and kind of like that. I will disagree that in the morning. like i said. im fruity at the moment. why did i just tell u guys i drove like **** to release stress *watches rating bar go to hell* my mom wants me to tell you guys she said thanks for the 2 hours of sleep she will be getting. ahhhhhhhhh. go away LOL.
Best thing to do is not get behind the wheel under that kind of stress. No negs from me.
She tried to run you down? Call the police. Obviously she needs to return to hospital ASAP!
Got a friend you can stay with temporarily until you move? If you are religious you may ask your pastor / priest for asylum at your church. This is endangering your life and sanity! Once out have the police escort you back to the property to get your stuff. She is an ADULT and should take responsibility. Since she cannot she should be committed to a facility until she can become resposible (for her safety as well as yours). Twice she has threatened you? Once with the gun and once with the car? Time to GTF out of there and let the police and health care people deal with her.
BTW: She can get all the sleep she needs in the Psych Unit at the jail whilst serving her sentence for assult with a deadly weapon (the car).
I know it's your mother, but dam dude.........................enough!
[This message has been edited by tutnkmn (edited 08-16-2010).]
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08:08 AM
82-T/A [At Work] Member
Posts: 25526 From: Florida USA Registered: Aug 2002
i am selling and moving. Everything will be real cheap. I have a place to go with two of the most possibly nicest people I have ever met. Towfatguys and his wife. They have offered to take me (a broken and beat 19 year old) away from his hell at home. They have opened their door to me and I am going to walk through it. Its going to be the start of my new life. No one there that is holding me down, no friends always asking for **** and drug abuse. It sounds like i will be at home in MO. Brad and rachle have opened their door to me to use while i get on my feet. Anything i can not fit in a suitecase will be left. Anything that can not be sold will be given away....This gets me to the sad part....my fiero. Im going to have to abandon the project and sell what I can. that is going to brake my heart seeing it go along with all of my tools. everything is going to be sold and i am moving. Brads place will be a "halfway" house. This is the biggest gamble i have ever taken. Lets hope it works
Hey 87,
Just want to give you a few words of accomplishment before I send a PM to Brad telling him how cool he is. In any case... I think you're making the right decision. You HAVE to do what you have to do to make sure your life is on track. As you already know by this point, your remaining in the house is not helping your mom one bit... so you're making the right decision. I've known a few people from NA, and I know that a lot of them move in hopes of creating a new life. I know you're not in the same situation as they are, but make sure that you pick your friends wisely. Don't make friends with the same "kind" of people who you were friends with back where you lived before. It will only start the cycle over again.
Anyway, good luck to you. There were over 300 thousand Fieros made... so you'll be able to get another one when you find your path...
quote
Originally posted by 87antuzzi:
im home. 4:22am. picked her up. god a comedown is a nasty thing. on a side not did you know a nissan frontier without a govoner will do a 130mph? At least i had a fun drive down there LOL. almost hit a deer and put it in a pole doing 90 on drycreek road. then i picked her up. big fight. i got out and started walking. she tried to run me down in the truck LOL. am i a little fruity at the moment. yes. i have been up for 24 hours and have delt with a lot of **** . I guess im the ****up because i have fixit tickets. LOL. this coming from a herion junkie. i guess she is perfect and i am just a world class ass hole. who knows. tomorrow is a new day filled with new problems (so getting that tattooed) i dont have a tatoo and kind of like that. I will disagree that in the morning. like i said. im fruity at the moment. why did i just tell u guys i drove like **** to release stress *watches rating bar go to hell* my mom wants me to tell you guys she said thanks for the 2 hours of sleep she will be getting. ahhhhhhhhh. go away LOL.
I wish you could see what a normal life would be like... not having to EVER deal with this kind of drama. Your mom has an addiction problem. She is selfish and she will do whatever she has to do to keep you as her enabler. You have two choices... you can stay where you are and end up exactly like her... or you can get out... make the move and become successful... have a normal family, and eventually, if you're lucky, your mom will come-to and kick her addiciton. Everything you're doing is just making it worse right now.
You've GOT to get out of there. Honestly man... you should join the military. There are so many benefits to joining the military now. Besides the fact that you'll have the everlasting pride of knowing that you've "done your part" for America... they'll also pay for your education, and you'll get paid while you're in the military. If you don't have a home that you're paying for, all that money will just go into a savings account. After 2 years, you'll have enough for a major downpayment.
Plus, as a military officer, you get first pick for government jobs if you wanted one. AND.... when you're out, your 4 year degree is PAID FOR...
Do it... trust me... please do it. After you're out there, you'll build confidence, strength, and understand what hard work is... you'll be a changed man, and you'll be better for it.
I wish you could see what a normal life would be like... not having to EVER deal with this kind of drama.
I figure for a few weeks we may have to create some artificial "drama" for Kris just so he doesn't go through withdrawals.
Man it's boring around here lol. I got some wild friends that can fill in the "crazy" gaps though.
For those of you that have offered money. That's awesome, but I think Kris needs it more than I do. I'm very very very far from rich, heck, I'm working my way up to poor, but I am pretty stable financially. I am already here, Kris is the one coming.
I think we may need to figure out a way to just get him out of there. I'm betting once he leaves, and his Mom cannot blame her problems on him anymore it may be a good push for her as well.
Brad
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09:37 AM
FriendGregory Member
Posts: 4833 From: Palo Alto, CA, USA Registered: Jan 2004
Would you like me to store your guns for you? I have a safe and would be happy to keep them away from the crazy people until you do not think you will ever go back. I could even ship them to Brad after you get there. Just say yes and I will make the drive. Sure am glad you vent here, I am not as strong or as weak as you.....yea, confusing but so is what happens in that home.
If you look up my name, among other things, I am an armed security guard.
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10:20 AM
Tony Kania Member
Posts: 20794 From: The Inland Northwest Registered: Dec 2008
Brad, never hesitate to ask Tony Kania for anything. You and Chris are some of my favorite members, and what you are doing is just phenominal. I do not know what it is that we can do to help this situation, but I am here.
Chris, I feel that your life is in danger. I know that I am a smart a$$, and all, but there are things that my gut says, and if you knew me in the least, you would know that I live by my sig. I have an uncanny ability to sense danger. PLEASE GET OUT NOW. DO NOT STAY THERE ONE MINUTE MORE. Please, for yourself, and us, just go.
I am not even going to PM it.... (five oh nine) four nine six - four seven three two. I am here. I don't know what it is that I can do, but I will. (This goes for both of you.)
Tony
[This message has been edited by Tony Kania (edited 08-16-2010).]
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10:53 AM
cliffw Member
Posts: 37837 From: Bandera, Texas, USA Registered: Jun 2003
Originally posted by 87antuzzi: No one there that is holding me down ....
No one but one person.
quote
Originally posted by 87antuzzi: ... on a side not did you know a nissan frontier without a govoner will do a 130mph? At least i had a fun drive down there LOL. almost hit a deer and put it in a pole doing 90 on drycreek road.
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Originally posted by 87antuzzi that I can't find: The fastest I have ever gone is 164mph. Man that was fun.
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Originally posted by 87antuzzi: I put my fist through my Fiero's windshield then told the cop that was anger control.
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Originally posted by 87antuzzi: *sigh* now my dad is saying he wants to go I dont have the heart to tell him he is pretty well nuts like my mom is.
[This message has been edited by cliffw (edited 08-16-2010).]
I dont have the heart to tell him he is pretty well nuts like my mom is. And she if filled with stupid drama such as saying "im all she has in life" bla bla bla. I have heard all this crap before and she it trying to put a guilt trip on me. She even said she would check herself into a rehab in texas for 3 months if i did not go 
]
I do not know what it is that we can do to help this situation, but I am here.
