Nothing lined up for the moment. Things are calm and offers have been laid on the table. But I'm probably not going to accept any because I know that things just won't change. It's time to move on. There was a big knock-down-drag-out yesterday and I about walked out then. They're offering to actually restructure the company so I don't have to deal with the boss. But in all honesty, I know how things work around here. It won't last long.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 05-07-2008).]
It's never been about the money really. It's always been about the greif and aggrevation. They're talking about restructuring things to relieve me of that. So, over the next few days, I have a lot of thinking to do as to whether or not to accept the offer. For the moment, I'm still leaning heavily towards no. I think things would start out ok, but then just gravitate back to the way things are now. They're kissing my butt right now trying to get me to stay. But if I did stay, how long would it last or would I just be trying to walk out again in six months?
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
IP: Logged
04:42 PM
Raydar Member
Posts: 41432 From: Carrollton GA. Out in the... country. Registered: Oct 1999
Originally posted by whadeduck: ...They're kissing my butt right now trying to get me to stay...
Who is "they"?
I thought the boss was the owner / king / potentate / HMFWICOE.
If you stay, you ought to negotiate an iron-clad separation agreement (think "pre-nup") where they agree, in writing, to give you some astronomical "severance" in case they screw it up again. This needs to be "no-fault". IOW, if you quit OR if they fire you, it's due and payable to you, regardless. Get your lawyer involved in the negotiations, to look for loopholes. Play hardball. You have the upper hand.
"They" are the boss and the bookkeeper. The boss actually apologized to me this morning for all of the "nifty" things he said to me yesterday. It was a calm and quiet discussion and the boss asked what it would take to get me to stay. I told him that my mind was made up and I couldn't think of anything that could make me stay because of the way things have become. What happened yesterday will only happen again. He seemed disappointed but accepting and told me to give it some thought at least. This has to be the most calm and rational conversation I have EVER had with him. Maybe I scared him. But after a while, he sent the bookkeeper into my office to lay the deal on the table. I was very hesitant about it but, after a little bit, I agreed to give it some thought and give the boss my answer by Friday's end. Most likely, I wouldn't be able to get anything in writing. That's just the way things are here. I'm still thinking that, as much as I'm being promised that things will change, they will only change for a short bit and then it's right back to the way things are now.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
I'm still thinking that, as much as I'm being promised that things will change, they will only change for a short bit and then it's right back to the way things are now.
Been there--am there. My current employer is the type to address the symptoms caused by a problem rather than attacking the problem. She makes little attempts, but never anything permanent or substantive, which means things will never improve. I really enjoy the work--I just don't like working there. I really really wish I were a quitter sometimes--but it's just not something I know how to do well.
Good luck with your's Whadeduck!!
IP: Logged
06:55 PM
May 8th, 2008
Marvin McInnis Member
Posts: 11599 From: ~ Kansas City, USA Registered: Apr 2002
You probably already know what I think: Go ... and don't look back. Does the word "codependence" ring a bell with you? Years from now your only question will be, "Why didn't I do it sooner?" Good luck!
IP: Logged
01:08 AM
PFF
System Bot
Patrick Member
Posts: 39151 From: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Registered: Apr 99
You have been working on that resume for two years man, it's gotta be done by now.
From what we talked about last weekend I say take a **** in his desk drawer and put fire ants inside that coach he loves to sleep on all day. Then find a new job.. in Charleston.
IP: Logged
09:03 AM
cliffw Member
Posts: 37862 From: Bandera, Texas, USA Registered: Jun 2003
Originally posted by whadeduck: My final day with my current employment is set at June 6th.
I have you down with a positive already.
quote
Originally posted by whadeduck: He seemed disappointed but accepting and told me to give it some thought at least. ........he sent the bookkeeper into my office to lay the deal on the table. I was very hesitant about it but, after a little bit, I agreed to give it some thought......
I can always change it to a negative, , j/k Good luck but I am sure you know my feelings. I support what you do though.
quote
Originally posted by maryjane: I really really wish I were a quitter sometimes--but it's just not something I know how to do well.
I am an expert. I don't call it quitting though. I call it standing up for how I feel. I call it demanding more. I call it not taking any BS. I do my part in the employment picture, the job has obligations to me also. Whade, from my experience, I predict that you are gonna end up in a much better situation.
No screaming, no threats. I probably ruined the boss' weekend. He's not happy I'm sure. But I declined the offer and my decision to leave stands. My final day with the company I've been with for almost fifteen years will be June 6th. It takes a while to get through my stubborness. But the battle on Tuesday was kind of a catalyst. Wednesday and Thursday just reinforced my belief that, even though they said things would change, they won't. At least not for long. Now I just have to get through the next month and hope to God I don't find an employer just like him for my next job. Now I just need to stop feeling like I've given up and quit and start feeling like this is definately for the better and things are gonna be great.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
IP: Logged
04:55 PM
Old Lar Member
Posts: 13798 From: Palm Bay, Florida Registered: Nov 1999
If you have a skill that is desired out in the world, I'm sure you will have no problem finding new employment. It does appear that your current employer suddenly discovered your value, since you said you were leaving. If he knows your value, there are other opportunities out there that should lead to a rewarding career. No one should stay in a job that they are unhappy with. There is already too much stress in daily life, that having a miserable career should not be one more stress.
IP: Logged
05:23 PM
Raydar Member
Posts: 41432 From: Carrollton GA. Out in the... country. Registered: Oct 1999
I plan on raising a beer to myself tonight actually. I'll say this. It's one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. I like knowing where I'm going every day. I like knowing I have a paycheck coming every week. Now, everything is unknown and the economy stinks. I'll admit that I'm scared to death right now. But something still seems very right about all of it. Maybe I'll actually get my self esteem back and everything. lol All I really ever wanted from that job was to not have to do everyone else's and maybe even get an "attaboy" once in a while. Just so that I'd know that what I was doing was being appreciated. Too bad that happened only after I told him that I was quitting. =\ My apologies to this forum for crying wolf a few times. Didn't think I'd finally do it, didjya Patrick?
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
IP: Logged
08:39 PM
Patrick Member
Posts: 39151 From: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Registered: Apr 99
Given time to find and train someone as well as not leaving the office with no one in it, my final day is going to be the 27th instead. That is set in stone. God only knows why I go above and beyond. But I do for the company and not the owner. But either way, I'll be here on the 27th and not the 30th. Looking at taking about a week off too to relax and collect a little before starting anew. Calling a guy today who works with an engineering firm we do business with to try and set up an interview either after hours or sometime over the weekend. Looks promising and they're interested. I'll keep my fingers crossed. I know I picked a bad time for this, but I finally got up enough stones to tell him off so I thought I'd better roll with it. I'm thinking the bookkeeper might be soon to follow. She's had enough of the boss' crap as has his own son.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
IP: Logged
02:13 PM
Pyrthian Member
Posts: 29569 From: Detroit, MI Registered: Jul 2002
so, does the training for your replacement include counsling for dealing with irresponsible drunks?
edit - oops - wasnt sure if that was you with the drunken boss/owner....
Yup. I'm the one. The boss hasn't changed. Nothing's changed. So something inside finally clicked enough to convince me to get out of here. I suppose I stayed a little longer to help out the other employees. I know, not my problem. But that's the way I am. It's not their fault the boss is a big fat stupid head. But the boss still sleeps most of the day and all of the other rants (yadda, yadda, yadda). But whether I have a replacement or not and whether they're trained or not, I AM leaving on the 27th. The morning of the 30th is gonna feel weird. =\
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 06-13-2008).]
IP: Logged
02:25 PM
Patrick Member
Posts: 39151 From: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Registered: Apr 99
Write up some sort of stipulations, and if things drift back to the worse, theu incur penalties such as doubling your salary, or firing the boss. Thise are extremes but you get the idea, and have them sign it in front of a notary or something.
IP: Logged
03:54 PM
Synthesis Member
Posts: 12207 From: Jordan, MN Registered: Feb 2002
In case you didn't get it, I was trying to be funny with the "big fat stupid head" comment. I have many more imaginative descriptions for the boss. Some of which would most likely be sensored off of here. Things look good. Went to collect a check for a project we're on up at the beach. I called the engineering office who wanted to see me and stopped in to talk because I was going right past. They're very interested in me and some of the stuff they're getting into sounds like fun as much as it is work. But it looks like the office is an actual place of work. Not a single napping couch in the place. But I'll update as I know more.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '87 GT Auto '88 Ferrario '84 Indy
GREAT NEWS!!! Congratulations for actually doing it. Years from now you'll look back and ask yourself, "Why did it take me so long?" Now, go enjoy the rest of your life.
IP: Logged
11:19 AM
Raydar Member
Posts: 41432 From: Carrollton GA. Out in the... country. Registered: Oct 1999
Originally posted by whadeduck: After some delay.......FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST! I start my new job at the engineering firm Monday morning.
For my part, I'll spare you the "about geedee time" comment. Nobody knows your situation better than you, and what the appropriate time was.
I'll just tell you congrats! I hope the new place is everything you expect it to be.
Anyone want to toss out an estimate as to how long the previous employer will be in business?
I'll say this. It's one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. I like knowing where I'm going every day. I like knowing I have a paycheck coming every week. Now, everything is unknown and the economy stinks. I'll admit that I'm scared to death right now. But something still seems very right about all of it. Maybe I'll actually get my self esteem back and everything. lol All I really ever wanted from that job was to not have to do everyone else's and maybe even get an "attaboy" once in a while. Just so that I'd know that what I was doing was being appreciated. Too bad that happened only after I told him that I was quitting. =\ My apologies to this forum for crying wolf a few times. Didn't think I'd finally do it, didjya Patrick? 
But I'll update as I know more. 
.
