Had to add this one to the thread. Last week he had me out in the field all day in a hole about eight feet deep. Got sunburned, dirty, and wore out. We start work at 6:30am. I finally got back to the office about five thirty. He hears that it's me that came in the door and calls me into the office. As he's laying there on his couch about half-awake, he'd been there most of the day, he tells me that I need to be more of a company man and I'm not working hard enough. He ended up giving me a bunch more things to do. He left, and I was stuck working until midnight because he supposedly HAD to have that stuff by the next morning. It's still sitting on his desk untouched. Thought y'all would get a kick out of that one. I own page two of my own thread!!!

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 03-06-2006).]

Had to bump this one to see if anyone wants to add to it. No real updates from me. Boss is still a butthead. Infact, today, as usual, he was ticked off at another employee but I took the brunt of the attack because the employee was twenty-five miles away and I was across the hall. I have to keep my mouth shut though. The last time he did that and I stood up for myself, I lost a weeks pay. Can't afford to have that happen again. Chime in if you have any stories or suggestions. Helps me retain what little sanity I have left. I did get to go to Daytona this year. Aside from his calling me about twenty time while I was there, the trip helped me relax for a little bit.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: The last time he did that and I stood up for myself, I lost a weeks pay.

This is sounding more and more like a typical abusive relationship. Maybe check This out:

quote From the link: Abuse can be a boss who implies that catering to his or her personal wishes will be the determining favor for job security within the company. Abuse requires two participants: one who causes the abuse and one who accepts it, the enabler.

Quit being an enabler of this abuse.

You are working in a hostile work environment. You may be able to file charges and sue if you want to. Go to your labor board or local human rights commision, they might rip him a new one.

hehehe, quit, then check out Defimation Of Character, or other such fun thing syou could sue him for

quote Originally posted by GoldFiero86SE: hehehe, quit, then check out Defimation Of Character, or other such fun thing syou could sue him for

Probably wouldn't work. When it comes to his policies, nothing is written down. That way, he can change things at will to suit his needs. Tried to get him to put something in writing one time and almost got fired. That was when I just got tired of him cancelling my days off because I didn't tell him about it and got him to sign a form allowing for my day off. I would always ask for a day or half a day off with at least three weeks notice. He would conveniently forget and I would have to cancel my plans. When I asked him to sign the form he said that he should fire me for that kind of behavior. So I really have no proof of the kinds of things he does. Nothing in writing anyway. That's one of the things that would make it nearly impossible to go up against him. Most places would probably just look at me as nothing more than a disgruntled employee.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

Don't go in tomorrow. Call in, and tell him "the voices said "Stay home today to clean and load the guns"."

Only the boss is allowed sick days. I had to come in one time with bronchitis and a temperature of about 103. He stayed out about a week later with a cramp in his foot. If you do stay out sick, your check is docked. Even salaried people such as myself. But if you work many more hours like I have to, you don't get anything extra. Nothing's written, but that's what he does. Sad but true. If you tell him that you didn't know that policy he usually tells you that it's the way everyone does it. One day, he'll get what's coming to him. Just doesn't make the present any easier to deal with.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

go get a job in a shoe store. Al Bundy has a better job than you do.

You need to be keeping a work diary/logbook. Write down what happens each day, especially any crap like getting pay docked when your on salary, but make sure you document everything you do so it isn't just a bitchfest. That's what flat rate guys have to do to ensure they can prove they are owed money when management starts playing games with pay. Your documents become the proof, not "well it was around january I think..." Docking pay is illegal everyplace I know of, document it and when you leave your not a disgruntled employee, you had a crooked boss. Do your pay stubs state how your paid? Tax statements?

I suspect that anyone who has known him for any substantial period of time, knows he's a richard and would take that into account. You would be suprised how many people are probably playing the same game you are because it isn't worth the hassle. They have to deal with him at other levels, so grin and play dumb.

I find "reality" tv highly annoying because it appears to normalize behavior like this... take American Hot Rod as an example. What a bunch of complete jerkoffs from the top on down. Boyd doesn't give his crew the credit or backup they need, keeps the projects in his head and doesn't bother to tell the people building the stuff what the heck he wants. Shop foreman just abuses the hell out of the inexperienced guys, he is the one they should trust and look to for guidence and last episode I saw he's jerking their chains non stop and states "I can't believe they believe me and do what I tell them". Great a supervisor you can't trust... that is effective.

Monster House and Monster Garage were getting incredibly annoying for the same reason, everything was about conflict and blaming others instead of working as a team. Last episode I saw about making an icecream truck/ice racer was so cool because it was back to the guys in their garage ideas of "That would be cool" and they just went and built it... no fights, no talking smack, and they got a crew capable of actually doing it.

I like Foose's show except for the stealing the vehicle part. The amount of expertise and teamwork is incredible, and Foose gives all the credit to the people. But he does a bunch of the work and before anyone has touched anything, his concept is laid out in drawings and charts, expectations/needs are written down... there is a fully fleshed out plan, might change a bit on the fly, but that's ok and flexability is built in. I believe Foose worked for Boyd before getting crapped on one to many times also, same as he does with the rest of the crew he's lost.

quote Originally posted by Scott-Wa: I suspect that anyone who has known him for any substantial period of time, knows he's a richard and would take that into account.

Careful with the name Richard if you please. j/k

I know what you mean about shows like American Chopper and American Hot Rod. I used to watch those shows for the artistry involved in the cars and bikes. But the arguing, yelling, and screaming overshadowed that so much after a while that I just couldn't watch anymore. I'm sure that those people aren't like that all of the time and the producers try to push the bad behavior soley for the purpose of ratings. I love overhaulin for much the same reasons you do. I miss Courtney but I'm getting used to AJ. They're both hotties in my book. Just different kinds of hotties. Chip Foose is a cool guy too. Would seem to be a good guy to work for. He looks like the difference between a boss and a leader.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

I agree with Scott. Document everyting that happens with your boss. He will have a very hard time getting people to believe his side when you have dates and times written down.

I also have to agree that you are enabling him to do this to you. Those employees that refused to stand in the rain had the right idea. They did not let themselves get into the position that you are in now. For whatever reason, you are in a spot that is difficult to get out of.

You say that he has many friends in high places who can make it difficult on you if he says the word. I would bet that there are not as many as you might think. Those in high places probably know all about him.

Start refusing some of that late work that you know is not needed the next morning with legitimate excuses. Refuse to come in sick when you are truly sick. Get all your documentation together, throw a resume out to a few companies where you may have contacts and see what happens.

As you have stated in this thread, he is not going to change. Your situation is not going to change either as long as you allow it to remain the same. I understand you don't want to piss off the wrong people, but sometimes you have to make a line and refuse to cross it. Stand up to him more and more. I seriously doubt that he has so many contacts as to hinder you from getting employment. And if he is that connected with people that are that high up in companies, I garrantee you that they already know how he is, but never say anything because they don't have to. They don't deal with him like you do so why say anything.

Stand up for yourself and life will be easier to bear. It may make your road a bit longer (I doubt it), but it will be less bumpy.

Good luck

quote Originally posted by Patrick: You got that right. My girlfriend's ex-husband (and unfortunately also the father of her two kids) is a true narcissistic b*st*rd. These guys believe that in each and every situation, they are the Alpha male, that the world revolves around them. There is no way these guys will ever change. It’s what they’ve been from a very young age,

I find that if you beat the living hell out of them they will usualy at least keep their mouth shut, sometimes it takes a time or two though.

Might not work for your boss, but keep in mind he cannot legaly say much of anything to another employer negative about you. I had a boss that called all over town and told everyone not to hire me because he needed me too much. Fortunately the people I was interviewing with did not listen, and as soon as I heard about it I had a lawyer and his district manager on the phone. Unfortunately his choice of words was not illegal but Im sure that changed the way his DM thought of him. But what you can do in this kind of situation is call him, or have a friend or lawyer call him, pretending to be an employer and get him that way, you would have to work around your local laws involving phone tapping, its usualy not illegal as long as one party knows, but whether or not its admissable in court is another question.

Getting my resume' together starting tonight. Finally had it with this guy. I don't care anymore if I have to sell my house as-is, or haven't
finished my Ferrario. I just came to the conclusion that those are just excuses. I'm finding a job somewhere away from here. The companies around here just don't pay people anything. With the little juvenile fit he just through, it made things so much more clear to me. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it. He's pushed me into a corner and forced my hand. I'm also finding out that he's about to be alone because the irritation with him is quickly spreading throughout the company. We only have fourteen people so it doesn't take too many people getting fed up to lose a good amount of the company. I'm sure it'll all be my fault. He needs someone to blame right? He wouldn't even get up off the couch to fuss at me today. Takes a lot of freakin' nerve. The end starts now.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 04-10-2006).]

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: I'm sure it'll all be my fault.

Another thing you can do is to quit saying those kind of things. I know what you mean, but it still isn't healthy. It's a residual effect of being an enabler to an abusive person.

Glad to hear you've had enough. Keep moving forward and don't look back...

quote Originally posted by Patrick: Another thing you can do is to quit saying those kind of things. I know what you mean, but it still isn't healthy. It's a residual effect of being an enabler to an abusive person. Glad to hear you've had enough. Keep moving forward and don't look back...

Oh I'm not saying it'll actually be my fault. I'm just pretty sure he'll try to blame me for whatever he can. I see now why some people find it difficult to remove themselves from an abusive relationship. Other than a paycheck, there's not much of a difference sometimes between spousal abuse and a boss abusing his employees. Psychologically anyway. He does his best to convince everyone around him that, without him, they couldn't so much as tie their own shoes. It's amazing sometimes how I can see other people's situation clearing and be blinded by my own.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: Oh I'm not saying it'll actually be my fault.

I know exactly what you mean, but quit doing it anyway!

I do need to work on recovering my self worth again. Unfortunately, he's done a pretty good job of draining that. But that I know it also means that there's still some left. "I am estimator. Hear me roar!"

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: I do need to work on recovering my self worth again.

Yes, and part of that is to quit stating things like "I'm sure it'll all be my fault." Seriously, because every time you say or think something like that (even as a joke), a small part of your sub-conscience questions the direction and validity of your decisions.

You don’t want to make it any tougher than it has to be cleansing yourself of this parasite.

You're right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I'll try to do better next time. j/k

Ain't I just a stinker sometimes? Humor's just my way of keeping what sanity I have left. My insanity keeps me sane.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 04-10-2006).]

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: Getting my resume' together starting tonight. ... The end starts now.

Wise move. Congratulations! Don't look back!

Believe me ... there's a huge universe of better possibilities out there for you.

[This message has been edited by Marvin McInnis (edited 04-10-2006).]

Thanks. It's not going to be easy by any means. But nothing worth doing is. It's going to mean giving up my home of the past seventeen years. I've lived here since I was eighteen. I hate it that he's forced my hand in this issue, but I don't see another way. Besides, maybe it's time for a change of scenery anyway.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario