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| The Joke Thread (Page 3/36) |
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Valkrie9
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MAY 24, 11:07 PM
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How was your day ?
Bonk !
At about the 3.5 second mark, you may compare the size of the GW's pectoral fin to the diver, allowing you to appreciate the sheer gargantuan girth of the ' fish '.
Clearly, the evolved intelligence of the 1-1/2-ton predator is what spared the abalone hunter from an instant decapitation, a gak moment !
' Gee, that was close ! ', as the enormous tail swished by. ' Yeeks ! '
Note how many commentors write what they think the GW is thinking, anthropomorphizing a dinosaur's logic, wrongly, in error. the fish is thinking ' Eat ? or, not Eat ? '
You should so watch his video : Near Miss, Ron Elliot's GW encounters in the Farallons
Near Miss 2018, a clear still of the approaching GW, four feet away.
Project White Shark — The Farallon Islands
Great White in the Sea of Cortez Geez Louise, that is a big shark !
Closely examining the bonk video, freeze frame, measuring, scaling, a similarly huge predator, yikes !
Seals hunted, by reconnaissance and planning, memory and mapping, camouflaging by undersea terrain.
No joke.
There was another abalone diver...
Estimated at 16-18 feet. Remembered from years ago,
the facts triggering the memories of the Jaws movies.
' We're gonna need a bigger boat ! '[This message has been edited by Valkrie9 (edited 04-08-2024).]
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maryjane
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MAY 24, 11:45 PM
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Honor your parents. After all, they graduated without google.
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Cheever3000
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MAY 25, 03:22 PM
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cliffw
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MAY 28, 09:12 AM
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maryjane
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MAY 28, 10:47 AM
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williegoat
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MAY 28, 12:09 PM
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I think suburban living is starting to get to you.
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Sage
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MAY 28, 05:45 PM
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One dark night in the small town of Roselle Park, New Jersey, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink, the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first firefighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, ‘All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They have to be saved, so I will donate $50,000 to the fire company that brings them out and delivers them to me.’
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president announced that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000!
Suddenly, from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Peterstown section of Elizabeth, New Jersey.
This fire department was composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.
To everyone’s amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno!
Outside, the other firefighters watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire as if they were fighting to save their own lives. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment, he was raising the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The ‘on camera’ reporter asked the Italian fire chief, ‘What are you going to do with all that money?’
‘Wella,’ said Chief Pasquale De Luccinelli, the 70-year-old fire chief, ‘de fursta tinga we gonna do, isza fixa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!’
 HAGO!
(I know it's an "old one"......but still funny to me every time I read/hear it!)
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Valkrie9
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MAY 30, 08:06 AM
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Racing theory.
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cvxjet
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MAY 30, 02:19 PM
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Many years ago (Around 1990) my neighbor gave me a birthday card....For years I thought the cartoon on the front was a "The Far Side" cartoon.....
Years later, I looked it up on line and realized it was a different cartoonist- Leigh Rubin....And while perusing some of his cartoons I came across what I think has to be the best use of words that mean different things (Homophones is the technical term)
 [This message has been edited by cvxjet (edited 05-30-2022).]
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MidEngineManiac
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MAY 30, 09:37 PM
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As I gazed across the table at my date I felt this tingling running through my body.
It was them I realised I had drugged the wrong drink.
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