I always call them Larry, Moe, and Curly.

PS. Get those Shemp lines out of this thread. He's not a real Stooge.

Edit: I've been humming "Three Blind Mice" in my head all day because of this thread.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Moe,,," Put some tape on it"
Larry,,,,"We forgot the tape".
Moe ,,,"Well we had to forget something or we wouldn't be plumbers."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Moe,,,,"Quiet numbskulls, I'm broadcasting."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,"Oh a wiseguy eh."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,"Certainly, If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking ''til you do succeed"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Bailiff,,,,"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Judge,,,,"Why don't you answer him?"
Curly,,,,"He's talking pig-Latin, I don't know what he's saying."
Judge,,,,"He's asking you if you swear,,,,,"
Curly,,,,"No, but I know all the words."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Man,,,"This bed goes back to Henry the 8th."
Curly,,,,"That's nothing, we had a bed that went back to Sears Roebuck the 3rd."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Moe,,,,"Say Jasper what did you shoot yesterday?"
Curly,,,,,"I shot a seven but they wouldn't give me the money!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,"A simple job for simple people."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Moe,,,,"What are you up to now?"
Curly "I've got a perfect score!"
Moe,,,,"No you haven't , you need another strike." smack slap smack

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,You know that I quit that job at the bakery."
Lady,,,,"Why?"
Curly,,,,"Oh I got sick of the dough and decided to go on the loaf." smack smack

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Man,,,,,"What kind of a fool do you take me for?"
Curly,,,,,Why, is there more than one kind?"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,,"Oh medicine, glug glug glug, I feel better already,"
Moe,,,,,"What was wrong with you?"
Curly,,,,"Nothing." smack

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Shemp,,,,,"You're supposed to be singing about the voices of spring, not the eruption of a volcano."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Larry,,,,"How about this? Wanted grave diggers, good pay and,,,,,
Moe,,,," No no no no,,,Too morbid."
Curly,,,,"The morbid, the merrier." smack slap boink

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,"Suppose the murderer comes back?"
Moe,,,,"Shut up, you got nothing to worry about. If he stabs you in the head , he'll ruin his knife."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Moe,,,,"You and that iron head of yours, look at that, the boss is going to make us pay for another tool".

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

Curly,,,,"You know that my name is Curly Q. Link."
Moe,,,,"What does the Q. stand for? Quincy? Quillip?
Curly,,,,"Cuff."
Larry,,,,"Oh,,,,,,Cuff Link."

Moe,,,,"I'm Halliday"
Larry,,,,"I'm Terriday"
Shemp,,,"I'm Groundhogs day"

Moe,,,,"I'm Halliday"
Larry,,,,"I'm Terriday"
Shemp,,,"I'm New Years day"

Moe,,,,"I'm Halliday"
Larry,,,,"I'm Terriday"
Shemp,,,"I'm Christmas Day,,,,,jingle bells jingle bells,,,,smash,,bonk,, I'll tell Santa Claus on you!"

Moe,,,,"I'm Halliday"
Larry,,,,"I'm Terriday"
Shemp,,,"I'm Independence day", ,,,,,,,ssssssss fffffttt (dud-firecracker) "Fooled you!" BOOM "Ouch, fooled me!"

Moe,,,,"I'm Halliday"
Larry,,,,"I'm Terriday"
Shemp,,,"I'm Labor day, and with us now everyday is labor day, ok then, lets labor",,,,smash crash boing.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Daisy,,,,"What are you taking up at college?"
Larry,,,,"Piglatin, Atway areya oingda onighta? You wouldn't know a thing about that would you?"
Daisy,,,,"Oh, Onay!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"Wait a minute, what's this blind mans bluff?"
Moe,,,,"If it's what I think it is, then we're going home."
Curly,,,"Not me, I'm staying!"
Moe,,,,"Staying?" (blasts Curly with seltzer bottle)
Curly,,,,"I'm still staying!"
Moe,,,,"Staying?!" (slaps Curly)
Curly,,,,"I don't know now, you,,,,."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Man,,,," How can three men make so much noise painting?"
Moe,,,,"You don't know us guys, we make noise stuffing a mattress!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

From 'A plumbing we will go'
Chef,,,,"You folks going somewhere?"
Woman,,,,"Just looking for a drink of water."
Chef,,,,"Turn on anything! You'll get it!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Bailiff,,,,"Address the judge as your honor."
Curly,,,,"Well it was like this, my honor."
Bailiff,,,,"Not my honor. Your honor."
Curly,,,,"What's the matter? Don't you like em?"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,"Oh a microphoney!"
Curly,,,"And a phoney at the mike."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Don't you dare hit me on the head, you know I'm not normal."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid...What a liar I am!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Man,,,,"Hey you whataya doing?" ...
Curly,,,,"I"m sawing a saw in half with a saw, see?"
Man,,,,"WHY, YOU RUINED MY SAW."
Curly,,,"Don't get excited, you can still use it for a cheeseknife!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"I'm stabbed, I'm dead, I'm murdered, I'm killed, I'm annihilated. What will the world do without me? What will I do without myself? I'm slaughtered, I'm annihilated, I'm destroyed, I'm barbecued, I'm done for. Can you think of anything else?
Moe,,,,"No, you've covered it all."
Curly,,,,"I'm not even wounded?!"
Moe,,,,"That's what you think!" slap smack bonk

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"I'll explain it so that even you'll understand it!"
Moe,,,,, "Moe - Oemay,,,,,, Larry - Arrylay,,,,,,,Curly? -"
Curly,,,,"CurlyQ!" slap smash

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"You know fish is great brain food."
Moe,,,,"You ought to fish for a whale!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,, "Poor Shemp, we'll have to cremate him!"
Larry,,,,"We can't do that, we ain't got no cream."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Well, there is a hole in the floor. That's dangerous. I'll put a throw-rug over it."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"Hey Moe, we'd better lock that door in case our adversaries come back!"
Moe,,,,"Adversaries?" "When did you get so smart?"
Larry,,,,"Oh, I've been smart all the time only you never knew it!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Shemp,,,,"There's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't drink. A thousand reasons. But I can't think of one right now!!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Woman,,,,"You fool! If my husband finds you in here, he'll KILL you."
Larry,,,,"If you husband finds me like this, I DESERVE to get killed."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"How did you get so intelligent?"
Shemp,,,,,"I went to college-Swedish Massage College!"
Moe,,,,,"Then why didn't you go into that?"
Shemp,,,,"I couldn't find enough swedes to massage!

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"What do we have to do?"
Moe,,,,"Shoot golf."
Curly,,,,"Ooooooooh hunting, how are we gonna shoot golfs without guns?"
Moe,,,,"C'mon buffalo breath" slap poke

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Shemp,,,,"Hey ,Moe. I don't feel so good. I oughta take something for my nerves."
Moe,,,,"Like what?"
Shemp,,,,"A trip home."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Separate two eggs,,,,,,That oughta be far enough!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Shemp,,,,"If Sue has no shoe,,,,,then a shoeing Sue we must do!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Ok, here's one of my favorite scenes. The owl/skull/sheet spook had been flying over the Stooges with Shemp swinging wildly at it with a broom. But instead of hitting it, he kept whacking Moe and Larry by mistake. With Moe glaring suspiciously, quick thinking Shemp exclaims,,,,"It's a lucky thing I took it away from him, he'd a killed ya both!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

"I'll chop your head off."

"I'll tear out your esophogues and your tonsils."

"I'll split your skull from ear to ear."

"I'll mash your head like a potato."

"I'll bust your skull."

"I'll crush your skull."

"I'll gouge your eyes out."

"I'll tear your tosils out and shove it right in your eye."

"I'll baste you in nitric acid."

"I'll tear your tosils out and tie them around your neck as a bow tie."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"He swallowed the tacks,,,, the tacks won't come out!"
Shemp,,,,"They went in, maybe they're income tax."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"You can't eat me, I'm too tough, I'll give you indigestion!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"Hey wait a minute, I can't find the negative."
Moe,,,,"How about the positive."
Curly,,,,"I'm positive about the negative but I'm a little negative about the positive."
Moe,,,"Oh, negative eh!" slap slap smack

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"Quit stalling, I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse."
Moe,,,,"What do you guys think you've been eating for the last month!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"I always said your face scares people, why don't you throw it away."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Hey, have you a fishing license?"
Moe,,,,"No."
Curly,,,,"Then give me back my fish!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"What's the matter with you?"
Moe,,,,"I just drank some paint."
Curly,,,,"That's silly, I always drink coffee."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Oh a termite with dandruff."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,"If we're discovered, we're lost."
Curly,,,,"You're crazy, if we're discovered, we're found."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"Say I've got an uncle in Cairo, he's a chiropractor, nyuk nyuk nyuk."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,'How do you spell chrysanthemum? Oh ignorant eh?" slap "How do you spell it?
Curly,,,,"C-H-R-Y-S-A-N-T-H-E-M-U-M."
Moe,,,,"Why wasn't you here a minute ago!" smack slap

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"Anything that the Wright brothers can do, the Wrong brothers can do. Right?"
Larry,,,,"Right!"
Curly,,,,"Wrong,,,,,brothers."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Boss,,,,"I'll give you another chance."
Moe,,,,,"All three of us?"
Boss,,,,,"Yes."
Moe,,,,"That's three more chances boys, c'mon!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Curly,,,,"How do you spell head?"
Moe,,,,"B-O-N-E, head." bonk crack
Curly,,,,"Ouch ouch oh oh oooooooooh look,

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"I'm the boss and I want you to stop falling of the scaffold."
Curly,,,"Can I help it if I was born dizzy?"
Moe,,,,"I'll dizzy you!" slap smack bonk
Curly,,,,"I didn't do nothing."
Moe,,," That's why I slugged you. Do something!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Man,,,,"I'm George B. Bopper."
Shemp,,,,"Oh a bebopper, dig that craaaaaaaazzzy bopper name, ebebebebebe, cool man, little George, give me some skin."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Larry,,,,"Oh excuse me gentlemen, I've got to take care of a weak back."
Man,,,,"How long have you had a weak back?"
Larry,,,,Oh, about a week back."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"Get up you sleepy heads, look at me every morning wide awake, 11o'clock."
Larry,,,,"I'm awake."
Moe,,,"How about you?"
Curly,,,"I'm awake but I can't get my eyes open, (plink) OUCH, thanks!"

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"You're next!"
Curly,,,,"But I had a bath."
Moe,,,,"When"?"
Curly,,,,"July 4, 1910. I was too young to fight about it then."
Moe,,,,"What are you gonna do about it now?"
Curly,,,,"Take a bath."

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Moe,,,,"You hear that?"
Curly,,,,"Sounds like there's a bear down there. I'm gonna get a trap!"
Moe,,,,"Wait a minute, how can there be a bear down there?!"
Curly,,,,"It's bearly possible."