This morning at 0600 operation "Death From Below" was greenlighted. Outfitted with the latest in chemical warfare technology I stalked the enemy. Spotting their lair in the dim light of the morning, I surveyed the situation with strategic calculation. One lone sentry sleepily guarded the entrance to their hiding place. I sneered at their feeble attempts at security, and laughed to myself at their ignorance of my presence, completely unaware of the malice that lurked mere feet from their den of horrors. The air was still, climatic conditions were ideal. The moment came! With steely precision and absolute focus and determination I launched my deadly attack! Almost instantaneously I assassinated hundreds, if not thousands of their numbers with a single onslaught of my perfectly placed firing sequence. The deadly stream of pyrethrin based toxin projected with pinpoint accuracy at their single point of exit. The one unmistakably terminal flaw in the design of their stronghold. Some attempted to flee as the stream unwaveringly assaulted the opening without pause. The death they met was instantaneous. Some attempted to seek shelter by retreating further into the dark crevices hidden within, only to be overwhelmed by the side effects of the noxious fumes of the chemical. After several moments of determined fire, the chemical container fell empty in my hands as I breathed deeply, thinking how I love the smell of pyrethrin in the morning. I inhaled deeply allowing my muscles to relax in in the cool air following an overwhelmingly successful attack, and most certain victory. I observed the lair intensely, watching for survivors or any sign of life. Almost all perished instantly; a fortunate few managed to flee post-onslaught, more or less unscathed, only to return a few minutes later to evaluate the extent of the casualties. Finding their comrades either dead, or writhing agonizingly in throes of inevitable demise, they again fled, never to return. Not the females, the young, nor the unborn were exempt from the merciless annihilation of their habitat. Undoubtedly taken completely unaware by the surprise attack, their lack of preparation spelled the end of their cell. As I continued to watch with dispassion I mused at the irony of the situation. Had the enemy not themselves initiated an unprovoked attack on me personally, I would have never known of their existence in my dominion. But, for whatever reason, these creatures, whose apparent sole purpose in life is to inflict pain and discomfort made the terminal mistake of awakening a sleeping giant. A giant that until just hours before had been unaware of their existence, and was now assuring there would be no perpetuation of their species in his immediate environment. Yes, my victory wasn't without some sacrifice as I endured the injury that befell me from their initial unprovoked attack. But, there could be no question that the ultimate victory; evidenced by the complete and total decimation of their numbers in my environment, was unquestionably mine. Their place of unholy activities, once a thriving hall of unthinkable plans of harm and malice, was now but a silent tomb for the countless numbers that lay deceased within its dark inner chambers. Never again to be used for such horrific endeavors.
Normally after battles of this sort, I may experience some degree of remorse; perhaps a small amount of compassion for the lives that ended, however justifiably. But this case, no such remorse existed. Shaking off the very last of the small amount of battle anxiety I stealthily made my way back to my own lair. I popped a K-cup of our best Starbucks House Blend into the Keurig and pressed the blinking button which started the flow of the rich aromatic coffee into my cup waiting beneath the stream. As the final drops fell into the steaming cup I extricated it from the machine and retreated to my favorite recliner. As I sipped the hot coffee I unconsciously probed the top of my head for the spot that had been the place of the initial attack, injured by the enemy I had just so callously eliminated. As I explored the still slightly tender area I thought to myself, "stupid hornets".
I have set up a shrine to honour the gallant efforts of your enemy....the plaque will forever more mark the attack that started the war. You may have won the battle...but the war is not over.
I have set up a shrine to honour the gallant efforts of your enemy....the plaque will forever more mark the attack that started the war. You may have won the battle...but the war is not over.
One time, I found out - the hard way - that yellow jackets had taken up residence inside the intake of my 88 Coupe, just behind the driver's door of course. Unacceptable! I got 'em with a can of foam wasp killer. It covered the opening, and every one that came out got covered with foam and fell to the driveway. I got to watch a LOT of them do the Kamikaze thing.
I can't believe no one mentioned the nod to "Platoon".....
Never saw Platoon but, I could clearly hear "The Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner.
------------------ Ron Count Down to A Better America: http://countingdownto.com/countdown/196044 Isn't it strange that after a bombing, everyone blames the bomber, his upbringing, his environment, his culture, his mental state but … after a shooting, the problem is the gun?
My Uncle Frank was a staunch Conservative and voted straight Republican until the day he died in Chicago. Since then he has voted Democrat. Shrug
Good writing!! I tried that chemical attack on a 4' tall 20" dia partially rotted pine stump full of red wasps a few days ago. I had forgotten, that by this time of year, red wasps larvae have hatched, the nests empty and abandoned-- and all the young and surviving older adults start seeking shelter for the fall and winter in rotten stumps. Not a nest full, a huge collective from a bunch of nests in the area---there were hundreds in there. I emptied a full can of Hot Shot Wasp and Hornet spray in there, waited a few minutes and kicked the stmp over. They came out of there like the zombies over the Jerusulem Wall in WWZ. As Richard Pryor once said, "That's when I got on my tractor and headed for Peoria" (in 4th high gear).
_1.jpg)
....but don't worry they'll be back bigger....and more angry than ever....
