Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross."
So Sister Immaculate rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!" Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
A Kerry man went for a job at the local stables and the farmer said "Do you know how to shoe a horse?" The Kerry man thinks for a minute and then says "No,but I once told a donkey to feck arf."
