I was in shock as he said he was scared of guns as he was in a rant about other stuff (college, ect). He said that it freaks him out that I have guns. Oh freaking brother. Already, he has had poor reactions to bullies, has no interest in what I consider guys cars or working on them with me, gets all fussed about bugs when out in the yard and trying to have him help me do yard work, no interest in sports, and finally likes American Idol. Gotta say, we are not the same.
So, who of you are like my son? Look at me, asking on a car forum. What do you do for a living, do you live a good life?
Lots of kids are different than their sons. I wrote that by accident, but it applies... All the interests you mentioned are superficial. But a day at the gun range can be awesome. Just don't go "heavy". Have him shoot some fun guns.
Or get him a bb gun... Not liking cars is a little sad, the sports stuff doesn't bother me, but Boys that are scared of bugs does. No boy should be afraid of bugs or dirt. Or dirty bugs.
He'll be fine. Just get into some of his stuff (other than idol or other tv crap)
My son was like that as well, Product of his mother constantly projecting her will on him and his fear of disappointing her. In other words, she hovered over him to death until a recent court win I had. One day I took him to the range and brought the sniper pellet rifle I got him in the other thread. It took all of 2 pellets to change his world, now 3 months later He wants to go into the army and be a medic. Oh, and loves his new hobby of plinking. I think What cemented it more was seeing his older sister rapidly fire my .308 AR. So, I guess he figured if a girl is not afraid why should he be.
My son was like that as well, Product of his mother constantly projecting her will on him and his fear of disappointing her.
Can I borrow up him a sister? Yea, must be the mother thing, my wife is a dragon mother, I have had to prove myself the Alpha male a few times. The gun thing would not bother me a bit if he was a bit ruff and tumble somehow. I brought a .22 out to my friends ranch with him and he would not get out of the truck, I thought he might be fussing about the rattle snakes. He is 14. It seems when I get old and properly crippled up, it would be proper to sell or give away my tools, guns and cars.
I have 4 kids. 2 boys, 2 girls. All 4 are uniquely different. My oldest, 19, a woman, is indifferent to guns. However, she is not afraid of them. She understands, and respects them, and is the best shooter of the lot. She plans to conceal carry when she is 21. Her sister, the youngest, hates gun. Not because she is afraid of them, but because they are loud. Whadda ya gonna do? My 2 boys are like night and day. My oldest son loves Fieros, loves guns, and open carry's at age 18. He will conceal carry at 21 also, but mostly because he loves guns. A good shot, but not as good as his older sister. My youngest son couldn't care less about guns or cars. He is all about video games, food and sleeping. My point? All kids are different, don't try to make them like you. Embrace their differences, and only try to make them good moral people.
I have been in nothing short of a epic battle with his mother. Finally after 6 months the court stepped in and agreed that basically his mother is nuts and was controlling him to the point of suppressing his mental growth. She has now been forced into counseling. The counselor basically said she is what is called a helicopter parent and as the child grows closer is the hover as to not loose control. Since the court win I have noticed huge leaps in his growth mentally and physically, he is free now to explore who he really is. I enable him to do so while she still struggles to keep him from it. In time he will turn out just fine and I am sure your boy will too. Just teach your values as you will, he will pick up some from others as well as result it will just make him more ready for the diverse world.
[This message has been edited by jetsnvettes2000 (edited 04-18-2014).]
I brought a .22 out to my friends ranch with him and he would not get out of the truck, I thought he might be fussing about the rattle snakes. He is 14.
Challenge him in some way with firearms. For instance, promise him a new X-Box or whatever he's into if he can shoot your .22 and put 45 out of 50 rounds into a 4 inch diameter circle. Just an example. You'll have to figure out what it will take to make him get serious about his reward.
Tell him he has to have a certain minimum number of practice sessions before his test will count. By the time he practices enough to take his test, he might just change his mind about guns.
Challenge, fun, reward. Boost's three easy steps to get people to try new things!
some people just don't like them, I had my archangel in my car with my friend with me, while I was getting something to eat she looked in the case and saw it and sh was really iffy about it being there the whole ride, any time I have a gun around she is just uneasy about it.
He said that it freaks him out that I have guns. Oh freaking brother. Already, he has had poor reactions to bullies, has no interest in what I consider guys cars or working on them with me, gets all fussed about bugs when out in the yard and trying to have him help me do yard work, no interest in sports, and finally likes American Idol. Gotta say, we are not the same.
I grew up hunting and enjoyed it but I find guns overall boring. He just might not be into it as much as you and it comes off stronger than maybe it really is. Some people are not that fascinated with them beyond the basics. Is it a strong fear?
[This message has been edited by TK (edited 04-19-2014).]
I remember my son being about 10 years old and trying to get him to shoot my Crossman pellet rifle. He did it once, but he was clearly doing it just to please me. Next came the paint ball guns. We shot each other up a few times, but since getting hit was sometimes very painful, that too didn't last past the end of the CO2. I have plenty of guns to choose from, but I don't think he's ever fired a live round. He now has a degree in computer science, is a computer programmer for Macy's , and making almost as much $ as me. Back when I was a kid, getting a bb gun was a step up the ladder to manhood, as was hunting, fishing, getting your own car(and working on it), your first job,fighting, etc. Now, boys get their first Abercrombie shirt, first I-Pad, first smart phone, and shop for clothes at the mall -it's very sad.
[This message has been edited by carnut122 (edited 04-19-2014).]
Back when I was a kid, getting a bb gun was a step up the ladder to manhood, as was hunting, fishing, getting your own car(and working on it), your first job,fighting, etc. Now, boys get their first Abercrombie shirt, first I-Pad, first smart phone, and shop for clothes at the mall -it's very sad.
Challenge him in some way with firearms. For instance, promise him a new X-Box or whatever he's into if he can shoot your .22 and put 45 out of 50 rounds into a 4 inch diameter circle. Just an example. You'll have to figure out what it will take to make him get serious about his reward.
Tell him he has to have a certain minimum number of practice sessions before his test will count. By the time he practices enough to take his test, he might just change his mind about guns.
Challenge, fun, reward. Boost's three easy steps to get people to try new things!
What?? Learn to like guns and you will get an xbox?? *sigh*
So the kids does not like guns, not a fan of insects, is sensitive and that makes him less of a man in his father's eyes?
Maybe instead of forcing stuff on him, dad should take the times to see what his interests are. Maybe dad might learn a thing or two about his son and in turn learn a thing or two about himself?
What?? Learn to like guns and you will get an xbox?? *sigh*
So the kids does not like guns, not a fan of insects, is sensitive and that makes him less of a man in his father's eyes?
Maybe instead of forcing stuff on him, dad should take the times to see what his interests are. Maybe dad might learn a thing or two about his son and in turn learn a thing or two about himself?
I wholeheartedly agree with this, my oldest step son has fired guns and gone hunting but totally decided that its not for him. He likes what he likes, he wanted to learn to knit and crochet so he watched youtube videos and taught himself. Then he proceeded to sell stuff he paid to have some cash. He made decent money doing this and I was purely proud of him for going against the norm. He hates sports, doesn't like bug or playing in the dirt. He prefers to dress nice and always have perfect hair. He is incredibly intelligent to the point he test off the charts. He watches the tv show glee religiously and some people would say he is a little feminine however he started ninth grade with a full plan for his education going in with all honors PRE-AP classes with intentions of getting all of the scholarships that he needs to go into the collage of his choice. My point from this is you should always be proud of who your son is and be proud that he is willing to be himself and step away from the norm. People get all of these preconceived notions about how a kid should act and especially how a boy should act instead of just letting them be themselves and just generally grow up to be a great human being. That is the only thing we really should worry about is raising a good kid that is decent and respectful and hardworking not whether or not they like or dislike bugs or guns or sports.
Is he interested in intellectual / academic stuff? Or maybe he's interested in art and music? If so, then he's probably just a nerdy kid... nothing wrong with that.
My two sons are as different as night and day with a bit less than two years of age difference . Both are college graduates and were raised with guns and shot weapons a fair amount when young. Their current interests have little to no common ground even though both of them were raised in a similar manner.
The oldest is an academic type that is single, loves school/learning, very liberal, and is a bit isolated from society. The youngest is a married hard driver type who is a combat vet, more conservative, and very personable in his relationship to the world. Kids are just different and you need to be able to love them in spite of the differences from the parents and other siblings.
All kids are different and seeing this one has had more of his moms influence or more influenced by his mom I can understand how he would feel about guns. Try starting out with a BB gun, less noise and seeing he is so young a lot less to scare him, Amanda still love making gallon milk jugs pee as she calls it when we shoot at them full of water with the BB guns. then graduate to loader guns like 22s and so on with hearing protection if need be.
but it is in the end all up to the kid, don't push him into anything he really doesn't want to do, gently show him how to handle a gun, he needs to know, everyone should at least know how to handle them even if they never intend on using one, they should know how to safely handle a firearm without putting themselves or anyone else in jeopardy. You never know what may happen in this crazy world we have today with all the crazy people we have in it.
good luck no mater what.
Steve
------------------ Technology is great when it works, and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't
Originally posted by avengador1: Your son is a democrat!
That is my worst fear. He has very little initiative, I am only concerned that he would never become independent. Not to be such a ferengi but, by 14 I had involved myself in several ventures for profit. Afraid of guns, bugs, no adventurous behaviors, interested in thing that I consider completely frivolous, I guess I just am not going to understand him.
What?? Learn to like guns and you will get an xbox?? *sigh*
So the kids does not like guns, not a fan of insects, is sensitive and that makes him less of a man in his father's eyes?
Maybe instead of forcing stuff on him, dad should take the times to see what his interests are. Maybe dad might learn a thing or two about his son and in turn learn a thing or two about himself?
It helps to read and try to understand the message as a whole and in context to the conversation.
I said nothing about learning to like guns or even making him admit to liking them or lie about liking guns. Just a friendly father-son challenge/reward proposition. If it just happens to turn out that he has fun, all the better. If not, no harm done. Like I said, the X-Box was not a suggestion but an example and said he should pick something that would have meaning to his son. The OP never stated he thought his son was less of a man.
quote
Originally posted by phreakboy4:
I wholeheartedly agree with this, my oldest step son has fired guns and gone hunting but totally decided that its not for him. He likes what he likes, he wanted to learn to knit and crochet so he watched youtube videos and taught himself. Then he proceeded to sell stuff he paid to have some cash. He made decent money doing this and I was purely proud of him for going against the norm. He hates sports, doesn't like bug or playing in the dirt. He prefers to dress nice and always have perfect hair. He is incredibly intelligent to the point he test off the charts. He watches the tv show glee religiously and some people would say he is a little feminine however he started ninth grade with a full plan for his education going in with all honors PRE-AP classes with intentions of getting all of the scholarships that he needs to go into the collage of his choice. My point from this is you should always be proud of who your son is and be proud that he is willing to be himself and step away from the norm. People get all of these preconceived notions about how a kid should act and especially how a boy should act instead of just letting them be themselves and just generally grow up to be a great human being. That is the only thing we really should worry about is raising a good kid that is decent and respectful and hardworking not whether or not they like or dislike bugs or guns or sports.
So your son got to experience guns and THEN make his decision about whether or not he was into them. There's the difference. FriendGregory wants to share something that is important to him. He has made no statement about not being proud or not loving his son or thinking him less a man. He is concerned that his son is a little on the un-motivated side. What father SHOULDN'T be worried about something like that? That clearly falls into the realm of father/son influence.
FriendGregory was looking for suggestions of how he could engage his son in some things that he finds important. All fathers should do that. My previous post was just such a suggestion on how he might approach it. Free advice that is worth what he paid for it. I think that part of the problem with the world is that too many fathers are "letting their kids be who they want to be". That is liberal code for lazy parent. It is the parent's job to shape and mold the kid into a functional member of society. Guns are not only about guns. There are plenty of other life lessons that can be learned while handling guns. Safety, respect, and responsibility are just three off the top of my head.
Dads, it is your job to train your kids to be women and men when they leave your house. How will you do it? Will you let TV, Hollywood, and social media tell your kids what it means to be a man or woman or are you going to give them a look at the world through your eyes? That could be the most important decision you make as a parent.
Originally posted by pokeyfiero: Wait a minute my friend.
Do not say "at least' Do not think "at least'
All that other stuff is funny to joke about but this ain't no joke.
Just think how important being a good kind person is. If you can't grasp the importance of that then try imagining the reverse.
I personally have no use for anyone that isn't a good person. I pretty much work with anything else but not that.
No kind, No friend of mine.
You ought to give the kid a hug right now and tell him how god damned proud and fortunate you are to have a good kid.
Sorry I am not trying to bust your chops but that "at least' **** got my attention.
Among the list of reason that him being a good kind person involves not making me have to change how I behave. If he was a thug, I would sell all my weapons, if he was a drug addict of thief, I would have to lock up my personal documents and have a will that excluded him. I do not worry about him hanging out with any of the family or his friends.
Yea, it is very important. I can know that he it not likely to end up in much trouble.
It is just too bad that we have almost zero common ground, I have a couple baseball mitts on my trunk so we can play catch that were only used under his protest. From my point of view(what I can see), it is not obvious where the skills to become financially successful are. Then again, my parents did not say that they would make sure he could go to the college that he wants if he can get in.
[This message has been edited by FriendGregory (edited 04-19-2014).]
Maybe try Jujitsu? I had many students similar that really opened up after they got into it.
One kid (Matthew) that I am positive is Gay (though he didn't know then) become our most respected member and he could do Katas's so perfect that we had him represent us at every tournament. It never will change who the kid is but it will give them conviction and guts to be themselves. It almost makes me cry thinking of that kid. He was afraid of everything at 13 years old. I Lost track of him a good 15 years ago but I bet he ain't afraid of nuthin or no one today.
If not Jujitsu then something else social and competitive.
Demolay? I had several kids that were part of that organization and they were very well mannered but tough kids. I don't know much about DeMolay though really except they were always going out doing something more important than tournaments!
My niece loves science and animals. We go do stuff related to that all the time. She wants to be a veterinarian now. I'm good with that.
That is my extent of knowledge of kids. I only ever had students never had kids myself. Having kids is too scary for me. I'd have a heart attack with worry!
Originally posted by FriendGregory: It is just too bad that we have almost zero common ground, I have a couple baseball mitts on my trunk so we can play catch that were only used under his protest.
If you truly want to make a connection, now try something he likes. I'm serious. He loves you and craves your approval. It costs you nothing but love. Give it to him.
My Father and I haven't spoken in 30 years. He thinks I'm "soft" (I'm sensitive). No, strike that. He KNOWS I'm "soft" (I never hid it). He just doesn't like it.
Because of this, I know my father, but he's never known me.
I don't like guns, I just recently (within the last 2 years) started to put my own work on the hook when fishing, other than football I'm not really into sports. I have however always liked cars. .
Today I'm a happily married man of 11 years, I have two wonderful kids. A computer engineering degree and I work for the Parliament of Canada.
I think I turned out ok...
As a side note, I never grew up wit fire arms yet, when I was 13, I was in the army cadets and won the Ontario junior marksmen championships. I know how to use and maintain firearms, I just see no use for them. I have other ways to resolve my problems.
unfortunately i wasnt mechanically inclined nor mathematically gifted as my engineer dad. I learned to box from my uncle, shoot from my dad at age 7 (and loved it), but i was a knuckle head, high school football followed by 5 years of kickboxing (3 ametuer).
I don't like guns, I just recently (within the last 2 years) started to put my own work on the hook when fishing, other than football I'm not really into sports. I have however always liked cars. .
Today I'm a happily married man of 11 years, I have two wonderful kids. A computer engineering degree and I work for the Parliament of Canada.
I think I turned out ok...
As a side note, I never grew up wit fire arms yet, when I was 13, I was in the army cadets and won the Ontario junior marksmen championships. I know how to use and maintain firearms, I just see no use for them. I have other ways to resolve my problems.
You have to live in Canada to understand your point of view. It's a relatively safe place to live and guns are really only needed if you like to hunt. I'm with you on that!
My son has no interest in sports or cars. Too bad, since I love both. But we do share interests in music (both love metal) and computers. ...for the record he's waiting for me to take him shooting...
I don't like guns, I just recently (within the last 2 years) started to put my own work on the hook when fishing, other than football I'm not really into sports. I have however always liked cars. .
Today I'm a happily married man of 11 years, I have two wonderful kids. A computer engineering degree and I work for the Parliament of Canada.
I think I turned out ok...
As a side note, I never grew up with fire arms yet, when I was 13, I was in the army cadets and won the Ontario junior marksmen championships. I know how to use and maintain firearms, I just see no use for them. I have other ways to resolve my problems.
Part of being who I am means the defense of others. One price I paid for this was some friends that I protected us from in an attempted robbery. I dispatched 3 men so quickly and decisively that years later, I head from a common friend that they stopped handing out with me because I was a violent psycho. The gun is a tool, a backup to getting slower and weaker.
I am thinking you turned out ok. So, if you were a USA person, would you be a Democrat?
Originally posted by Neils88: My son has no interest in sports or cars. Too bad, since I love both. But we do share interests in music (both love metal) and computers. ...for the record he's waiting for me to take him shooting...
Yea, we might be able to do music. He was about 6 when we went to Swan Lake, when we got back in he car, I told him to pick some music, he picked AC/DC. I need to lock the dang personal music player in the trunk of something, he ends up doing his own separate thing and keeping us from interacting.
Originally posted by Boondawg: If you truly want to make a connection, now try something he likes. I'm serious. He loves you and craves your approval. It costs you nothing but love. Give it to him.
My Father and I haven't spoken in 30 years. He thinks I'm "soft" (I'm sensitive). No, strike that. He KNOWS I'm "soft" (I never hid it). He just doesn't like it.
Because of this, I know my father, but he's never known me.
He has said for a while that he wanted a dog. Under the situation that my friend needed to have 3 8 week old puppies somewhere else, I brought home 3 very cute pitbulls. He briefly petted them but, was too timid to pick one up.
I try to have relationship discussions with him, I think this helps us to know each other. Yea, he is soft like a pillow.
Maybe he will be fun to chat with on a Fiero forum.
let him alone... let him be who he is. I don't like guns and have no interest in firing one. I won't ale away your right to own and enjoy them there just not for me. That doesn't me any less a man for gods sake. Jesus what year is it?
I am thinking you turned out ok. So, if you were a USA person, would you be a Democrat?
Nope, is I was a USA person I would be and AMERICAN. Something I think you guys are forgetting. WTF does everyone label each other as liberals or democrats before AMERICAN? I keep shaking my head each time those comments come up when the conversation has NOTHING to do with politics...
My 2 boys are like night and day. My oldest son loves Fieros, loves guns, and open carry's at age 18. He will conceal carry at 21 also, but mostly because he loves guns. A good shot, but not as good as his older sister. My youngest son couldn't care less about guns or cars. He is all about video games, food and sleeping. My point? All kids are different, don't try to make them like you. Embrace their differences, and only try to make them good moral people.
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It helps to read and try to understand the message as a whole and in context to the conversation.
