Are we raising a generation of deluded narcissists?
A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing.
Psychologist Jean Twenge, the lead author of the analysis, is also the author of a study showing that the tendency toward narcissism in students is up 30 percent in the last thirty-odd years. This data is not unexpected. I have been writing a great deal over the past few years about the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.
On Facebook, young people can fool themselves into thinking they have hundreds or thousands of “friends.” They can delete unflattering comments. They can block anyone who disagrees with them or pokes holes in their inflated self-esteem. They can choose to show the world only flattering, sexy or funny photographs of themselves (dozens of albums full, by the way), “speak” in pithy short posts and publicly connect to movie stars and professional athletes and musicians they “like.”
We must beware of the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.
Using Twitter, young people can pretend they are worth “following,” as though they have real-life fans, when all that is really happening is the mutual fanning of false love and false fame.
Using computer games, our sons and daughters can pretend they are Olympians, Formula 1 drivers, rock stars or sharpshooters. And while they can turn off their Wii and Xbox machines and remember they are really in dens and playrooms on side streets and in triple deckers around America, that is after their hearts have raced and heads have swelled with false pride for “being” something they are not.
On MTV and other networks, young people can see lives just like theirs portrayed on reality TV shows fueled by such incredible self-involvement and self-love that any of the “real-life” characters should really be in psychotherapy to have any chance at anything like a normal life.
These are the psychological drugs of the 21st Century and they are getting our sons and daughters very sick, indeed.
As if to keep up with the unreality of media and technology, in a dizzying paroxysm of self-aggrandizing hype, town sports leagues across the country hand out ribbons and trophies to losing teams, schools inflate grades, energy drinks in giant, colorful cans take over the soft drink market, and psychiatrists hand out Adderall like candy.
All the while, these adolescents, teens and young adults are watching a Congress that can’t control its manic, euphoric, narcissistic spending, a president that can’t see his way through to applauding genuine and extraordinary achievements in business, a society that blames mass killings on guns, not the psychotic people who wield them, and—here no surprise—a stock market that keeps rising and falling like a roller coaster as bubbles inflate and then, inevitably, burst.
That’s really the unavoidable end, by the way. False pride can never be sustained. The bubble of narcissism is always at risk of bursting. That’s why young people are higher on drugs than ever, drunker than ever, smoking more, tattooed more, pierced more and having more and more and more sex, earlier and earlier and earlier, raising babies before they can do it well, because it makes them feel special, for a while. They’re doing anything to distract themselves from the fact that they feel empty inside and unworthy.
Distractions, however, are temporary, and the truth is eternal. Watch for an epidemic of depression and suicidality, not to mention homicidality, as the real self-loathing and hatred of others that lies beneath all this narcissism rises to the surface. I see it happening and, no doubt, many of you do, too.
We had better get a plan together to combat this greatest epidemic as it takes shape. Because it will dwarf the toll of any epidemic we have ever known. And it will be the hardest to defeat. Because, by the time we see the scope and destructiveness of this enemy clearly, we will also realize, as the saying goes, that it is us.
Dr. Keith Ablow
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06:20 PM
PFF
System Bot
Formula88 Member
Posts: 53788 From: Raleigh NC Registered: Jan 2001
Look at 1/2 the corporate vice-presidents on the continent....
When told a 120v machine wont wok on 660v...scraem, "I sont care what will work, I want it done"...which is when ya use one 660v clamp on her nipple, shove the other one up her azz, and walk away from the contract....
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 01-09-2013).]
Young folks today appear to have the same dreams and ambitions that my generation had at the same age. We wanted an education, a good career, a home of our own and a happy life. The main difference between today's youthful opinion is that most of us expected to stay in school, work hard and earn a good life instead of having it given to us at someone else's expense -- a point of view expressed by many young adults today.
Proof of the pudding showed up this fall in a survey conducted by Professor Jack W. Chambless at Valencia College in Florida. He asked his students to write a short essay expressing their view of The American Dream.
Most of the students responded with the familiar notions of youth expressed by my generation with one important and notable exception. Instead of taking personal responsibility for their future, they noted that the government should, "Pay my tuition, provide me with a job, give me money for a house, make sure I get free health care and pay for my retirement." If necessary, "... raise taxes on rich people so that I can have more money ..."
As the article eludes to... the narcissism is really a facade for most of these kids. They act and pretend like they think they're awesome, and perhaps maybe they even somewhat believe it on the surface... but when faced with the realization that they're not actually any more special than everyone else, their entire lives fall apart.
Children today are not allowed to fail... or at least, they're not put into situations whereby they're properly challenged. I think it's great for parents to be overwhelmingly supportive and give them constant praise; however, they need to be able to experience failure in what they do... they have to be allowed to fail.
Everything that is wrong with the way society tries to raise their children can be summed up by comparing it to today's average Little League soccer game.
In little league, there are no losers. - At the end of the year, EVERYONE gets a trophy. - At the end of the year, the actual team that won the whole division isn't recognized for it, and they get the same trophy as everyone else. - If a team is getting it's ass-kicked, it's considered "poor taste" to let the other team run up the score.
So let's think about it for a minute... - By giving everyone a trophy, children will never know failure. You must have failure to really appreciate success. - By not recognizing the champion team, what is the motivation to work hard when you'll end up with the same as everyone else who didn't try as hard? - If you're not allowed to really kick another team's ass, then how is the other team supposed to improve, and how are you supposed to build a competitive spirit in children?
Not trying to be a dick here... but these are all ideals that Democrats push out because they believe it's not fair. And they wonder why all of our children are becoming narcissistic spoiled brats that throw huge adult temper tantrums when things don't go their way.
Listen, I work with a lot of kids on a daily basis. There good kids. I know it don't seem like it, but they are pretty-much just like kids have always been. But then again, at 17, I was dropping acid outside the video arcade.
So, yeah, they seem better adjusted to the world they are comming into then I was. Remember, I was waiting for Russian warheads to fall out of the sky at any moment.
Of course, they got their own fears...
[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 01-09-2013).]
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10:00 PM
PFF
System Bot
Blacktree Member
Posts: 20770 From: Central Florida Registered: Dec 2001
Originally posted by Formula88: We're already into the 2nd generation. We have a generation of deluded narcissists raising snowflakes of their own.
I remember back in the 80s, when the pop celebs started telling us we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. So yeah, I think it started with us Gen X-ers... and we passed it on to the next generation... minus the "love anyone else" part.
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10:04 PM
Spektrum-87GT Member
Posts: 1601 From: Yorktown, VA Registered: Aug 2001
Every generation feels like they're better than the upcoming generation. In reality, we're individuals and to pigeonhole us all into a single category is moronic.
There are those of us who don't believe the government should give us everything.
I worked my way through college without sticking my hand out. I found a job without sticking my hand out. I started a business without sticking my hand out.
Guess what? I'm part of that "new" generation.
There are idiots in every generation; don't be one of them.
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10:18 PM
82-T/A [At Work] Member
Posts: 25553 From: Florida USA Registered: Aug 2002
Every generation feels like they're better than the upcoming generation. In reality, we're individuals and to pigeonhole us all into a single category is moronic.
There are those of us who don't believe the government should give us everything.
I worked my way through college without sticking my hand out. I found a job without sticking my hand out. I started a business without sticking my hand out.
Guess what? I'm part of that "new" generation.
There are idiots in every generation; don't be one of them.
This is going to sting... but if you're approaching 30, you should really stop calling yourself "the new" generation... because to them, you are an old fart! Ooooh... it burns, I know... I'm in my 30s too.
Are some of you guys trying to suggest that self-esteem is bad for kids? If so, I hope you don't have any.
Self-esteem is a great thing, but it needs to be coupled with a sense of reality. Thinking you're the most awesome person ever and as such deserve to have everything handed to you for free isn't self-esteem. It's being a spoiled brat.
At one time, you could actually tell the difference.
Young folks today appear to have the same dreams and ambitions that my generation had at the same age. We wanted an education, a good career, a home of our own and a happy life. The main difference between today's youthful opinion is that most of us expected to stay in school, work hard and earn a good life instead of having it given to us at someone else's expense -- a point of view expressed by many young adults today.
Proof of the pudding showed up this fall in a survey conducted by Professor Jack W. Chambless at Valencia College in Florida. He asked his students to write a short essay expressing their view of The American Dream.
Most of the students responded with the familiar notions of youth expressed by my generation with one important and notable exception. Instead of taking personal responsibility for their future, they noted that the government should, "Pay my tuition, provide me with a job, give me money for a house, make sure I get free health care and pay for my retirement." If necessary, "... raise taxes on rich people so that I can have more money ..."
You forget the rules have changed....it started in the 80's with real estate and the "other peoples money" movement.....when we went to school we had a reasonable schance that an education, honesty and hard work would earn a decent paycheque. THAT is no longer true for the most part. I know people with masters degrees flipping burgers for minimum wage, its all they can get, while the people "making it" for the most part are the fast-talkers, scam artists. They make up some imaginary rule and charge a "fee" for talking, sell "positive thinking" and how sitting in a chair going "vroom vroom" is going to make some universe drop a Ferrari in the driveway....charge double or tripple the going rate for a product and claim "we service".........yeh, there are exceptions, but the general rule now is eduction and hard work gets you minimum wage, selling BS to suckers who swallow it gets you a nice home....I dont AGREE with the kids today, but I can at least understand why they look around and realize how futile it is.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 01-10-2013).]
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04:15 AM
Capt Fiero Member
Posts: 7658 From: British Columbia, Canada Registered: Feb 2000
In my honest opinion, this attitude that everyone is special, and no one is dumb, and no one loses is the reason we are having problems.
Truly good people, don't get to feel good and realize they are actually better and drive to succeed and the dumb people think they are just as good and never try to be better.
This just came into my inbox. I immediately thought of this thread.
1 in 25 American Teenagers has attempted suicide. 1 in 8 have thought about it.
They grow up in middle school thinking they are "All That" then they hit their teen age years and or the real world and go Oh Crap, Life Sucks. Then try to off themselves.
As mentioned above, then some of them try the hard working route, do their best and still don't succeed like movie stars and get depressed and then realize that for the first time in their lives its the crooks and so called "bad people" getting ahead, and then really start to slip off the edge and think about taking their car and driving into a tree at 100mph, or slitting their wrists, or OD'ing on meds.
It is horrible, but for the first time in History, the last few generations have been worse off than their parents.
Honest Hard Work only pays off for about 10% of the population. When I say pays off, I mean really able to get ahead, owning a house and not living paycheque to paycheque.
------------------ 857GT Part 85GT Part 87GT Part Caddy, 93 Eldorado 4.9, 5spd Dual O2 Custom Chip, Custom Exhaust. MSD Everything Now with Nitrous. Capt Fiero --- My Over View Cadero Pics Yellow 88GT 5spd Full Poly Suspension, Lowered 1/2" in front, Corner Carver.
You forget the rules have changed....it started in the 80's with real estate and the "other peoples money" movement.....when we went to school we had a reasonable schance that an education, honesty and hard work would earn a decent paycheque. THAT is no longer true for the most part. I know people with masters degrees flipping burgers for minimum wage, its all they can get, while the people "making it" for the most part are the fast-talkers, scam artists. They make up some imaginary rule and charge a "fee" for talking, sell "positive thinking" and how sitting in a chair going "vroom vroom" is going to make some universe drop a Ferrari in the driveway....charge double or tripple the going rate for a product and claim "we service".........yeh, there are exceptions, but the general rule now is eduction and hard work gets you minimum wage, selling BS to suckers who swallow it gets you a nice home....I dont AGREE with the kids today, but I can at least understand why they look around and realize how futile it is.
With all due respect, I can barely even know where to begin with all the ways this is just BS.
First off, there's no guarantees in life, the fact that kids can't deal with that is the issue. For the most part, an education in the right field will land someone a decent job, or at least prepare them for the world of employment. Just because they might have to actually *work* for it doesn't mean it is or was a waste. I have a sister who studied fashion design at one of the most expensive art schools in the country. Not the smartest choice of education for someone who lives in Columbus Ohio, aside from a few specialized companies it;s not exactly the fashion mecca of the country. She struggled, worked two jobs, and stuck it out for 20 years. All her hard work paid off and now she has her "dream job" as an accessory designer at "Life is Good" in Boston. The point being, kids today think they're owed everything and should just be able to walk out the door of their school and have a bunch of recruiters just salivating to throw big bags of money at them because they're so effing special. And yeah, there are those people that you describe so negatively. So what? So they found a niche and have taken advantage of it. While you're criticizing them on a car forum they're cruising on their yacht in the Bahamas. Which of you really wins that argument? The fact is, even those people have to work for it. Whether you believe what they're selling or not, how many people who get into "motivational speaking" do you think actually make it? I bet only one in ten thousand actually achieves any real success. That means the rest worked and got nothing, it happens.
Like I said, life ain't fair. Too bad, it's just the way life is. And if you don't believe sitting in a chair going "vroom vroom" will get you a Ferrari, then that means you have to believe that life is indifferent, which means it's completely fair in its unfair treatment (and I'm talking about life, barring outside influences like nepotism or other favoritisms, although they do also fall into the "life ain't fair" philosophy.) Everyone gets the same chance at unfairness (or fairness) from life. So if that's the case, then who is ultimately responsible for the things that happen to us?
[This message has been edited by Taijiguy (edited 01-10-2013).]
But that isn't how its being portrayed and pounded into the kids skulls.. And it will have an effect as they grow up.
From no longer keeping score in school yard games so that no one ever loses, to the government saying that its unfair they aren't making as much as someone so they will 'fix' it. ( minimum wage, redistribution.. )
Training to be 'me me me me' and if they don't get what they want, tis someone else's fault, not theirs. They are entitled to it..
But that isn't how its being portrayed and pounded into the kids skulls.. And it will have an effect as they grow up.
From no longer keeping score in school yard games so that no one ever loses, to the government saying that its unfair they aren't making as much as someone so they will 'fix' it. ( minimum wage, redistribution.. )
Training to be 'me me me me' and if they don't get what they want, tis someone else's fault, not theirs. They are entitled to it..
YES...... and add that most think they are entitled. I get guys from high school every spring asking for jobs and telling ME what days they can work and will like a starting pay of $25 @ hour with no experience of any kind. I just laugh and go on with what Im doing.
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09:07 AM
jaskispyder Member
Posts: 21510 From: Northern MI Registered: Jun 2002
They are saying it is built not given. I was reading this morning were a teacher took the American flag down in class and stomped it.
College or primary ? If primary, with luck she was fired. Her right, but it should also be a policy not to degenerate the country while teaching children. ( college is different, since its an elective and adults )
Are we raising a generation of deluded narcissists? by TheDigitalAlchemist
YES
Steve
Just to be clear - I didn't write it -Too many freakin' people -Not enough "good" jobs* -people desiring more than they actually 'need' and being able to get it by putting it on credit (increasing debt) -people getting into heavy deft due to school-related expenses -Parents taking the easy road being their kids "buddy" keeping them ignorant to much of reality -Media embracing negativity - A general overvaluing of material items
Consequences for actions personal responsibility
Gifted does NOT equal mediocre. but dumb things down enough, and that's what you end up with.
Gah - workin' on printers - hafta run play w/ gears stepper motors and toner
---------------- *Jobs which allow a family to 'survive'
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10:53 AM
banditbalz Member
Posts: 2070 From: Barrie Ontario Canada Registered: May 2000
After decades patronizing and coddling by liberal touchy feely educators, and our blame the victim mentality, plus poverty pimping and telling people they can't do it themselves, you need big government to help you get through life... Does this really surprise anyone?
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11:35 AM
Capt Fiero Member
Posts: 7658 From: British Columbia, Canada Registered: Feb 2000
LOL, Problem is, we in Canada are not too far behind them. No we don't raise our kids to be "AS" entitled as the kids in the States, BUT we are not far behind. I think what frustrates the people on the West Coast is seeing the HUGE Immigrant population showing up and collecting welfare cheques and cheating the system by having an entire subculture working under the table while getting government funding for everything from school to housing. The current generation see's it happening and says where is my chunk?
That's one of the reasons I say we need HUGE welfare reform and ban Immigrants from being able to collect it, also ban any person that does not have a disability or kids to take care of. Would save the country millions if not billions of dollars, and give many people a kick in the pants to get moving. Also re-evaluate what is classed as a disability. Too many people claim to have a disability and get those cheques sent to them. Too many "mental" disabilitys are out there. Making kids think, hey there is something wrong with me, please send the cheques right this way. Then the working class pays for these people with higher taxes, less take home pay and become depressed themselves. Its a huge loop all because too many people are taught hey its ok if you are not right, don't worry about trying to fix it, we will take good care of you. Canada is the "We'll take Care of You" country. I just hope we as adults can teach our current toddlers the mistakes that our current 20 something's are making are bad. (no not all 20 something's are bad)
------------------ 857GT Part 85GT Part 87GT Part Caddy, 93 Eldorado 4.9, 5spd Dual O2 Custom Chip, Custom Exhaust. MSD Everything Now with Nitrous. Capt Fiero --- My Over View Cadero Pics Yellow 88GT 5spd Full Poly Suspension, Lowered 1/2" in front, Corner Carver.
If so, I hope you don't have any.
