That is the general feeling that our society has:

http://online.wsj.com/artic...=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop

quote Eek! A Male! Treating all men as potential predators doesn't make our kids safer.. By LENORE SKENAZY Last week, the lieutenant governor of Massachusetts, Timothy Murray, noticed smoke coming out of a minivan in his hometown of Worcester. He raced over and pulled out two small children, moments before the van's tire exploded into flames. At which point, according to the AP account, the kids' grandmother, who had been driving, nearly punched our hero in the face. Why? Mr. Murray said she told him she thought he might be a kidnapper. And so it goes these days, when almost any man who has anything to do with a child can find himself suspected of being a creep. I call it "Worst-First" thinking: Gripped by pedophile panic, we jump to the very worst, even least likely, conclusion first. Then we congratulate ourselves for being so vigilant. Consider the Iowa daycare center where Nichole Adkins works. The one male aide employed there, she told me in an interview, is not allowed to change diapers. "In fact," Ms. Adkins said, "he has been asked to leave the classroom when diapering was happening." Now, a guy turned on by diaper changes has got to be even rarer than a guy turned on by Sponge Bob. But "Worst-First" thinking means suspecting the motives of any man who chooses to work around kids. Maybe the daycare center felt it had to be extra cautious, to avoid lawsuits. But regular folk are suspicious, too. Last February, a woman followed a man around at a store berating him for clutching a pile of girls' panties. "I can't believe this! You're disgusting. This is a public place, you pervert!" she said—until the guy, who posted about the episode on a website, fished out his ID. He was a clerk restocking the underwear department. Given the level of distrust, is it any wonder that, as the London Telegraph reported last month, the British Musicians' Union warned its members they are no longer to touch a child's fingers, even to position them correctly on the keys? Or that a public pool in Sydney, Australia last fall prohibited boys from changing in the same locker room as the men? (According to the Daily Telegraph in Sydney, the men demanded this, fearing false accusations.) What's really ironic about all this emphasis on perverts is that it's making us think like them. Remember the story that broke right before Christmas? The FBI warned law-enforcement agencies that the new Video Barbie could be used to make kiddie **** . The warning was not intended for the public but it leaked out. TV news celebrated the joy of the season by telling parents that any man nice enough to play dolls with their daughters could really be videotaping "under their little skirts!" as one Fox News reporter said. This queasy climate is making men think twice about things they used to do unselfconsciously. A friend of mine, Eric Kozak, was working for a while as a courier. Driving around an unfamiliar neighborhood, he says, "I got lost. I saw a couple kids by the side of the road and rolled down my window to ask, 'Where is such-and-such road?' They ran off screaming." Another dad told me about taking his three-year-old to play football in the local park, where he'd help organize the slightly older kids into a game. Over time, one of the kids started to look up to him. "He wanted to stand close to me, wanted approval, Dad stuff, I guess. And because of this whole 'stranger danger' mentality, I could sense this sort of wary disapproval from the few other parents at the playground. So I just stopped going." And that's not the worst. In England in 2006, BBC News reported the story of a bricklayer who spotted a toddler at the side of the road. As he later testified at a hearing, he didn't stop to help for fear he'd be accused of trying to abduct her. You know: A man driving around with a little girl in his car? She ended up at a pond and drowned. We think we're protecting our kids by treating all men as potential predators. But that's not a society that's safe. Just sick. Ms. Skenazy is a public speaker and author of the blog and book, "Free-Range Kids" (Wiley, 2010).

[This message has been edited by Doug85GT (edited 01-12-2011).]

Yep, I got called a pervert for cleaning out the girls restroom at work 4 days ago. Back in Sacramento when I was selling magazines, I asked a girl If she would like to buy some. She was quick to the draw with the mace. Good thing she did not figure out you had to slide the handle over.
Also, If you look around you always see someone in a messy divorce with a kid in the middle. Chances are the mom is saying how crappy the dad is etc... So what is said kid going to believe growing up? All men are evil. Just a thought.

[This message has been edited by 87antuzzi (edited 01-12-2011).]

yes, it is a creepy thing. goes right along with the false sense of security of the "good 'ol days". there really are creeps. always have been. we are just more aware now - and seemingly to a fault now. heck, there was a thread right here not to long ago about some guy who grabbed a kid at a grocery store, with mom only a few feet away, in the next isle, and pulled the the diaper to the side...and...well, ya know.....

as a male - sex is very often (if not constantly...) on our minds. the problem is what "rocks the boat" for some. "youth" is a universal attractant. some just take that and go off the deep end.....

At work, I am supposed to consider ALL husbands spouse abusers until proven otherwise. Not making that up.

^^^ yup we call them the man haters club. had a lady @ walmart start screaming @ me when i was near the "ladys fitting room" i was just standing there playing with my phone and holding the shopping cart when she went all batshit crazy. calling me a pervert and all all sorts of names.. then out walks my wife who promptly told the hag to STFU and wanted to beat her a$$. cops got called, she demanded to speak to a female cop, turns out she was part of some feminist group and this wasn't the first time she has harassed men in this particular wal-mart.. the manager banned her from the walmart and gave me and my wife a $100 gift card for the hassle... i love my wife

quote Originally posted by 87antuzzi: Yep, I got called a pervert for cleaning out the girls restroom at work 4 days ago.

When I was away on my little vacation, nobody ever wanted to clean out the girls showers/bathrooms, everyone who ever did came back saying they are so much nastier then men. They literally used those high pressure water hoses (like in a car wash) to clean their showers. So maybe you have to be a pervert to take that job. Or maybe in your case, you should have waited for the girls to leave the room first LOL


Just an hour or so ago, my grandma and I were coming home from the store. The snow here is really piled up high and when we went around the corner there was a kid literally laying down sorta hanging out in the road, and 2 others on a closeby snow pile. Kids were probably about 8-10yrs old. Now someone coming around that corner a little quicker then normal would not have seen the kid and very possibly could have hit him. Being the kid was actually totally laying down, it took him a moment to get up and move. Now grandma tells me to get out and tell the kids that they shouldn't be playing in the road, and I said No because as soon as I do, someone else is going to call the cops because a grown man stopped and is approaching/talking to the little kids.

A long time ago I used to occasionally get asked to watch my friends 2-3yr old girl. So I would usually end up taking her with me to do whatever daily errands I needed to get done. However if we were out long enough that she needed to use the bathroom, I would start looking for/asking other women who had children if they could go in with her. Most were completely understanding of the situation, but there were always some would who start with the "why can't you take her", and while the mom trusted me completely with her child, I was not about to put myself in any situation that could be mistaken for something wrong.

Way back when I lived in SF, my gf was a full time babysitter, and when she would get overbooked she would ask me to take one of her jobs. Usually we tried to work it so I had the boys, because she was a small size girl and it was physically easier for me to take care of the boys. But out there nobody really seemed to ever have any problems with me filling in and watching their kids. Maybe partially because my gf was so good, they trusted her in trusting me.

The one thing I have learned is........kids are great, as long as you can give them back at the end of the night.

[This message has been edited by Gecko (edited 01-12-2011).]

Right.. like women aren't banging the kids these days. Seems like every other week you see another female teacher having sex with a male student.

When will people learn both genders, no matter what age.. are capable of being weirdos.

quote Originally posted by InTheLead: Right.. like women aren't banging the kids these days. Seems like every other week you see another female teacher having sex with a male student. When will people learn both genders, no matter what age.. are capable of being weirdos.

I wish that would have happened to me. GAWD she was soooooooooooooooooooooo hot. Joe and I did get to go to her house for a BBQ though.

quote Originally posted by InTheLead: Right.. like women aren't banging the kids these days. Seems like every other week you see another female teacher having sex with a male student. When will people learn both genders, no matter what age.. are capable of being weirdos.

Well there was ONE teacher all the boys used to fantasize about when I was in school, and then we found out one day that we were being taught sex ed, so were really all fired up. Now here is the strange part. We were in catholic school, the teacher was a nun. But she always wore plain clothes so she didn't look anything like a nun, she didn't act like one, but she was. When it was time for sex ed class, they separated the boys/girls and we were taught by a priest who told us real early in the class that "He hadn't always been a priest, and that we were free to ask him ANY questions, even the crazy stuff we were thinking about"

This whole topic is one of 2 reasons I refuse to date a woman who has kids (the other is I just dont have the patience for the anklebiters)...but having been thru one very nasty deevorcee, I aint gonna set myself up to be falsly accused of anything, and I know how viscious females can be when they want to win a war.

FYI...

ANY MEMBER OF OUR SOCIETY CAN SAFELY LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN WITH ME, AND KNOW, WITHOUT A GRAIN OF DOUBT THAT THERE IS NO SAFER PLACE TO BE! PERIOD!

(Yes caps. I am that serious.)

Tony Kania

I like boobs get over it, oh wait wrong thread

[This message has been edited by Jake_Dragon (edited 01-12-2011).]

Well let me tell you what happened to me recently. First of all, I have been with my significant other for ten years. She has a daughter who had a child out of wedlock 8 years ago. I have known this child her whole life. The daughter is an unstable person who is also hooked on meds and she ends up moving back in with her mom and I. We have moved her in and out about 6 or 7 times by paying for apartments for her because I can't stand living with her and neither can her mother. We always end up paying her rent and utilities until finally her mother says enough is enough. So she stays until her landlord kicks her out. Now she is here again with her 8 year old daughter. The grandmother is really close to the grand daughter and grandma is always going to take care of her.

So about two months ago a sheriff comes over and says there is a complaint with child protective services but he wouldn't tell me what the allegations were about. I thought nothing of it and assumed the allegation was about her mother...maybe someone saw here acting strange or something and reported it...I am thinking. Anyway the sheriff said CPS was going to come and interview everyone in the house including me,still didn't think nothing of it as in my eyes it didn't concern me.

So the next day I am going about my business at home and the CPS lady comes over, she interviews everyone then it was my turn. She says here are the allegations the way it was told to us. "The grandmother goes to work,the daughter comes and goes and the grandfather sexually molest the grand daughter". When she told me that,it was like dropping a ton of bricks on me, I never in a million years would have thought those are what the allegations were about. I have never ever touched the child in my life. So now I am thinking what the hell is going on here and I let it known to everyone that I am very angry about being accused of something like this. I mean my life and future is riding on an 8 year olds hands. What if she something that didn't sound right and that raised red flags, I could go to jail for ten years.

The Granddaughter had to be interviewed 3 different times before I was finally cleared. The only thing the granddaughter said was when she was 3 years old I turned her upside down once and it made her start crying,other than that one time, I never laid a hand on her. I am cleared of wrong doing and the daughter and granddaughter are still living at my house. I told my significant other after all this... that it is either me or them. I can't continue to live under the same roof as her daughter and have the possibility of something like this happening again. Nothing has changed yet and plan B is floating in my back yard. If they don't get out of my house soon, I am going to live in my boat until they get out of my house.

I would like to find out who made those false allegations against me so I can take appropriate action for slander but CPS will not give me that information. I tried calling several times trying to get information but they still wouldn't tell me anything. I have no idea who did it and now it's hard for me to trust anyone who knows them. It could have been anyone and perhaps it could have even been the daughter, I don't know.

I'm starting to think I want completely out of this whole situation because I am tired of dealing with the daughter all these years. My parents and all my friends think I should end the whole relationship as they can tell that I am not happy right now. Trouble is I care about my lady and don't want to break her heart but everyday, I tell myself enough is enough. I am twelve years younger than my woman and it seems we don't have the same interest anymore, seems I am not number one anymore, but her granddaughter is. Tell you the truth, I don't feel loved in my own house anymore. I believe it's time to part ways,what do you think?

I will still verbally chastise strangers children but, if a kid is not fully potty trained, go away. I did take a chance in a restroom when a small kid was unable to wash his hands. I had him stand on my foot and lifted him to the sink.

I was at Walmart standing in the background while I waited for my son to dig threw the school supplies. A guy gave me the "knowing nod" of, we sure are enjoying looking at these children. I then noticed he was masturbating behind his cart. I checked with my son to see that he was done and we walked by the guy, giving him the "you should die" look.

So, yes, I have been mistaken for a pervert.

dun nun nun na nun nun
dun nun nun na nun nun
tuk tuk tuk tak tak tak

wummmm wa wummmmmm......

quote Originally posted by Shananigans: Well let me tell you what happened to me recently. First of all, I have been with my significant other for ten years. She has a daughter who had a child out of wedlock 8 years ago. I have known this child her whole life. The daughter is an unstable person who is also hooked on meds and she ends up moving back in with her mom and I. We have moved her in and out about 6 or 7 times by paying for apartments for her because I can't stand living with her and neither can her mother. We always end up paying her rent and utilities until finally her mother says enough is enough. So she stays until her landlord kicks her out. Now she is here again with her 8 year old daughter. The grandmother is really close to the grand daughter and grandma is always going to take care of her. So about two months ago a sheriff comes over and says there is a complaint with child protective services but he wouldn't tell me what the allegations were about. I thought nothing of it and assumed the allegation was about her mother...maybe someone saw here acting strange or something and reported it...I am thinking. Anyway the sheriff said CPS was going to come and interview everyone in the house including me,still didn't think nothing of it as in my eyes it didn't concern me. So the next day I am going about my business at home and the CPS lady comes over, she interviews everyone then it was my turn. She says here are the allegations the way it was told to us. "The grandmother goes to work,the daughter comes and goes and the grandfather sexually molest the grand daughter". When she told me that,it was like dropping a ton of bricks on me, I never in a million years would have thought those are what the allegations were about. I have never ever touched the child in my life. So now I am thinking what the hell is going on here and I let it known to everyone that I am very angry about being accused of something like this. I mean my life and future is riding on an 8 year olds hands. What if she something that didn't sound right and that raised red flags, I could go to jail for ten years. The Granddaughter had to be interviewed 3 different times before I was finally cleared. The only thing the granddaughter said was when she was 3 years old I turned her upside down once and it made her start crying,other than that one time, I never laid a hand on her. I am cleared of wrong doing and the daughter and granddaughter are still living at my house. I told my significant other after all this... that it is either me or them. I can't continue to live under the same roof as her daughter and have the possibility of something like this happening again. Nothing has changed yet and plan B is floating in my back yard. If they don't get out of my house soon, I am going to live in my boat until they get out of my house. I would like to find out who made those false allegations against me so I can take appropriate action for slander but CPS will not give me that information. I tried calling several times trying to get information but they still wouldn't tell me anything. I have no idea who did it and now it's hard for me to trust anyone who knows them. It could have been anyone and perhaps it could have even been the daughter, I don't know. I'm starting to think I want completely out of this whole situation because I am tired of dealing with the daughter all these years. My parents and all my friends think I should end the whole relationship as they can tell that I am not happy right now. Trouble is I care about my lady and don't want to break her heart but everyday, I tell myself enough is enough. I am twelve years younger than my woman and it seems we don't have the same interest anymore, seems I am not number one anymore, but her granddaughter is. Tell you the truth, I don't feel loved in my own house anymore. I believe it's time to part ways,what do you think?

A guy I worked with lost his job, house, and almost everything else he cared about over almost the exact same thing. He spent close to 6 months in jail, and when released, and all charges were dropped he was not allowed his job back.

It was easier for him to move away than deal with the hate mongers around town, there were people breaking the windows on his house, after it came out that she lied because he wouldn't buy her whatever it was she wanted.

As a guy we are automatically labeled as predators, and it sucks. One of the reasons I weighed when I left college was that I was male, and as a 4th grade teacher (what I was going to school for) I would be viewed as a potential predator my entire life. I'm creepy enough without that label.

Brad

I'm a school bus driver and I can't give hugs but my female coworkers can.

quote Originally posted by Gokart Mozart: I'm a school bus driver and I can't give hugs but my female coworkers can.

? hmmmm I only went to school on a bus a long time ago when I was very young. Is hugging your bus driver something that regularly happens now a days?

Or is your driving as such that they are just that happy to be alive when they arrive? LOL

quote Originally posted by Gecko: ? hmmmm I only went to school on a bus a long time ago when I was very young. Is hugging your bus driver something that regularly happens now a days? Or is your driving as such that they are just that happy to be alive when they arrive? LOL

HAHAHAHAHAHA

On a side note, the same thing is true here. Female bus drivers can hug students, male drivers cannot. I had a similar conversation a year ago with a bus driver here.

And I was really surprised at how many kids liked the dirt bag driver I was talking to. It's like the kids have no common sense.

Brad

I used to think nothing of picking the granddaughter up (not mine) at the school bus stop when there was no one else available. After what happened to me, I don't even want to be seen alone with her anymore, before I never even gave it a second thought. I never want to be alone with her again for fear of what somebody might think then report it. It shouldn't be that way but I have to protect my best interest. It's a shame the way society is today. I am looked at like some dude with a young girl in his car,he is probably molesting her, what a shame. And Kris tells me don't worry about it and I say what do you mean don't worry about it,can't you see what happened to me and how serious those allegations are. I say can't you see how sick and upset I still am over this whole ordeal. It doesn't seem to matter to these people how I feel.

quote Last week, the lieutenant governor of Massachusetts, Timothy Murray, noticed smoke coming out of a minivan in his hometown of Worcester. He raced over and pulled out two small children, moments before the van's tire exploded into flames. At which point, according to the AP account, the kids' grandmother, who had been driving, nearly punched our hero in the face. Why? Mr. Murray said she told him she thought he might be a kidnapper.

Which is why I will let grandma and the kids burn to death if I am ever in that situation.
I might call 911, but only if it bursts into flames immediately. I'm not going to stick around and wait, because then they'll think I'm stalking them.

quote Originally posted by frontal lobe: At work, I am supposed to consider ALL husbands spouse abusers until proven otherwise. Not making that up.

That's messed up. If you follow it, I don't consider you a bad person as it's what your suppossed to do.

I was in a divorce and my ex went in and told the judge I was a abusive alcoholic... Judge ordered me to see a psychologist about alcohol abuse. Apparantly he didn't beleive the abusive part. Went and saw the psychologist. He asked me how much I drink so I told him the truth. I told him I have 1 to 3 wine coolers a month. He said "Well since you don't have a alcohol problem waht do you want to do with our time?". We disscused ways to manage stress.

[This message has been edited by Khw (edited 01-12-2011).]

quote Originally posted by Formula88: Which is why I will let grandma and the kids burn to death if I am ever in that situation. I might call 911, but only if it bursts into flames immediately. I'm not going to stick around and wait, because then they'll think I'm stalking them.

I hope you're kidding !

quote Originally posted by InTheLead: Right.. like women aren't banging the kids these days. Seems like every other week you see another female teacher having sex with a male student. When will people learn both genders, no matter what age.. are capable of being weirdos.

Had a woman in this area go to jail for being a pedophile. She was sleeping with teen-aged boys (as young as 13). Nobody suspected HER of being a perv until it was waaaaayyyy too late.

Now many will likely say "hey, bet those boys had lots of fun!" Bollocks! Abuse is abuse. A teen should have their first sexual experience with another teen not a 38 year old nimpho woman.

quote Originally posted by InTheLead: Right.. like women aren't banging the kids these days. Seems like every other week you see another female teacher having sex with a male student. When will people learn both genders, no matter what age.. are capable of being weirdos.

Wish I'd had a teacher like that !!

My grade 6 teacher had been a playmate. We ALL had the magazine

Yep, my friend's church had signs on the men's restroom that actually said: "Diaper changes cannot be done by males, even if it's your own child." I am not kidding. When I questioned my pastor-friend who ran the church, he didn't understand why I had a problem with the sign. He just said, "That sign was my wife's idea."

On an opposite-but-related note, I was at a clothing store while my wife was trying on pregnancy clothes. A mom and her teen were there, also. The mom was waiting next to me while her daughter was trying on bras in the fitting room. The mom told the daughter to go ahead and come out so she could see if the bra fit. The daughter objected, of course, but the mom said: "Oh, there is just one guy here and his wife is pregnant, so he's safe. Just come out, hunny!" The daughter never did come out in her bra, by the way. When I saw the daugter in the store later, she was so embarrassed she looked like she actually had tears in her eyes. I felt so bad for her.

quote Originally posted by twofatguys: A guy I worked with lost his job, house, and almost everything else he cared about over almost the exact same thing. He spent close to 6 months in jail, and when released, and all charges were dropped he was not allowed his job back. It was easier for him to move away than deal with the hate mongers around town, there were people breaking the windows on his house, after it came out that she lied because he wouldn't buy her whatever it was she wanted. As a guy we are automatically labeled as predators, and it sucks. One of the reasons I weighed when I left college was that I was male, and as a 4th grade teacher (what I was going to school for) I would be viewed as a potential predator my entire life. I'm creepy enough without that label. Brad

But your a good creepy.

quote Originally posted by Shananigans: I have been with my significant other for ten years.

So... not married. And...

quote Originally posted by Shananigans: it seems we don't have the same interest anymore, seems I am not number one anymore, but her granddaughter is. Tell you the truth, I don't feel loved in my own house anymore. I believe it's time to part ways,what do you think?

I don't know who's idea it was to not get married, but you two aren't committed to each other, and she has demonstrated this. Your well being and safety is in jeopardy due to this relationship. I almost always recommend married couples to stick together and try to work it out, but not in this case.

quote Originally posted by Shananigans: After what happened to me, I don't even want to be seen alone with her anymore.

Wise decision. Given the history, I wouldn't allow myself to get into a situation with the daughter or granddaughter where it could in any way be misconstrued negatively. Don't even have a conversation that can't be overheard by others.

quote Originally posted by hugh: I hope you're kidding !

Some, but I'm partly serious, too. I want to help people and do the right thing, but I'm not putting myself at risk to help someone who's going to turn around and destroy my life. I've seen too many incidents where if you're a man, you're automatically guilty. No "let's discuss things and see what really happened" either. It's go directly to jail and if you're lucky, the truth comes out and you get released, but even then you're looked at as though you "got away with it" rather than having been innocent all along.

quote Originally posted by Khw: That's messed up. If you follow it, I don't consider you a bad person as it's what your suppossed to do.

It IS messed up and I don't follow it.

Not as a predator, but as a man being guilty just because he is a man.

We were moving years ago, right after we first got married, I was loading cattle panel into the back of the truck, creating a covered wagon look. The wife was on the other side of the truck helping. At some point the wire stuck her, and she loudly said as much.

The neighbor overheard and called the police. (him and I did not get along) The police show up, and put me in the back of the car, and have my wife cornered in the house wanting her to "just tell them how many times I beat her" and other bs.

Anyone that knows up knows that if anyone was going to be abused in our relationship, it would be me, by her. My wife is mean. I'm the submissive one.

But anyway, I'm sure the police in town still think I'm a wife beater >_<. I don't blame the stupid drunk next door, I blame the ignorant police that think everyone is guilty of something.

Brad

It really ticks me off that guys are thought of that way. I look around these days, and see men who are much better at child rearing than their wives, but in a divorce, the chick usually ends up with the kids. Just because you're a woman, it doesn't mean you are better at raising a kid, every situation is different.

I even hate watching Dr Phil, guys can never do anything right on that show.

Shananigans, I would get out of the situation you are in as quickly as possible, you were accused once, it might not go so well the second time.

[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 01-13-2011).]

quote Originally posted by frontal lobe: It IS messed up and I don't follow it.

I have seen that rule in person.
My mother in law like to break the tension with humor. SO do I but we were checking her in to the hospital and during the admission screening she was asked if anyone was bothering her. She said her son in law had been pushing her around. Well I had been pushing her around all day in the wheel chair. It took a few minutes to explain to the lady that she was joking, but they watched me for a long time after that. Made me feel unwelcome.

quote Originally posted by Shananigans: Well let me tell you what happened to me recently. First of all, I have been with my significant other for ten years. She has a daughter who had a child out of wedlock 8 years ago. I have known this child her whole life. The daughter is an unstable person who is also hooked on meds and she ends up moving back in with her mom and I. We have moved her in and out about 6 or 7 times by paying for apartments for her because I can't stand living with her and neither can her mother. We always end up paying her rent and utilities until finally her mother says enough is enough. So she stays until her landlord kicks her out. Now she is here again with her 8 year old daughter. The grandmother is really close to the grand daughter and grandma is always going to take care of her. So about two months ago a sheriff comes over and says there is a complaint with child protective services but he wouldn't tell me what the allegations were about. I thought nothing of it and assumed the allegation was about her mother...maybe someone saw here acting strange or something and reported it...I am thinking. Anyway the sheriff said CPS was going to come and interview everyone in the house including me,still didn't think nothing of it as in my eyes it didn't concern me. So the next day I am going about my business at home and the CPS lady comes over, she interviews everyone then it was my turn. She says here are the allegations the way it was told to us. "The grandmother goes to work,the daughter comes and goes and the grandfather sexually molest the grand daughter". When she told me that,it was like dropping a ton of bricks on me, I never in a million years would have thought those are what the allegations were about. I have never ever touched the child in my life. So now I am thinking what the hell is going on here and I let it known to everyone that I am very angry about being accused of something like this. I mean my life and future is riding on an 8 year olds hands. What if she something that didn't sound right and that raised red flags, I could go to jail for ten years. The Granddaughter had to be interviewed 3 different times before I was finally cleared. The only thing the granddaughter said was when she was 3 years old I turned her upside down once and it made her start crying,other than that one time, I never laid a hand on her. I am cleared of wrong doing and the daughter and granddaughter are still living at my house. I told my significant other after all this... that it is either me or them. I can't continue to live under the same roof as her daughter and have the possibility of something like this happening again. Nothing has changed yet and plan B is floating in my back yard. If they don't get out of my house soon, I am going to live in my boat until they get out of my house. I would like to find out who made those false allegations against me so I can take appropriate action for slander but CPS will not give me that information. I tried calling several times trying to get information but they still wouldn't tell me anything. I have no idea who did it and now it's hard for me to trust anyone who knows them. It could have been anyone and perhaps it could have even been the daughter, I don't know. I'm starting to think I want completely out of this whole situation because I am tired of dealing with the daughter all these years. My parents and all my friends think I should end the whole relationship as they can tell that I am not happy right now. Trouble is I care about my lady and don't want to break her heart but everyday, I tell myself enough is enough. I am twelve years younger than my woman and it seems we don't have the same interest anymore, seems I am not number one anymore, but her granddaughter is. Tell you the truth, I don't feel loved in my own house anymore. I believe it's time to part ways,what do you think?

Get out now! not later, not next week, NOW! and it might be best to give no warning.

I was hoping this might be a little less prevalent than it seems. After reading all of the responses in this thread, I am very sad.

I have dated a few single mothers. One woman in particular had a 18 month old toddler. I told her that I could not change her daughter's diaper and that I would leave the room when she was doing it. She was puzzled about it but I explained it to her. In our world today, if the wrong person heard that I changed her diaper or that I was even in the room, the police could be called. I could spend some time in jail as the police would interrogate her about why I was changing diapers on a child not my own and why she let me. I could lose my job and she could even lose custody of her daughter for a while. She was shocked at my explanation but she understood.

quote If You Are a Man, You Are a Predator

I'll get you for that!

j/k

quote Originally posted by Doug85GT: I was hoping this might be a little less prevalent than it seems. After reading all of the responses in this thread, I am very sad. I have dated a few single mothers. One woman in particular had a 18 month old toddler. I told her that I could not change her daughter's diaper and that I would leave the room when she was doing it. She was puzzled about it but I explained it to her. In our world today, if the wrong person heard that I changed her diaper or that I was even in the room, the police could be called. I could spend some time in jail as the police would interrogate her about why I was changing diapers on a child not my own and why she let me. I could lose my job and she could even lose custody of her daughter for a while. She was shocked at my explanation but she understood.

Yup. And if you married her, and later divorced, refusal to change the child's diaper would be proof you're an unfit parent and a deadbeat husband.

Yeah, i work in a family owned hardware store, and they also own a toy store next door.. So i spend alot of time working in the toy store, especially during the holidays.. So i get surrounded by kids all the time. Iv never had an "incident" or anything, Where a parent said anything to me about anything. But i have had lots of situations where the parent is buying a toy for their kid, and iv said something to the kid like "have fun with it". or something like that, and you can tell by the look of the mother she didnt want me talking to her kid.. Another thing iv noticed is that the manager of the toy store is a woman, and the mothers are obviously much more comfortable with her.. She plays with the kids, picks them up, holds their hands, and nobody cares.. If i did that, id be arrested for sure, lol.. So i know what you guys mean about feeling uneasy around kids these days. I used to like watching the kids run around the store, looking at all the toys with big smiles.. Reminds me of when i was a kid.

But i just basically ignore the kids now.. I try not to even look at them, parents are crazy these days.. Last thing i need is to be watching a little kid playing with some toys, thinking how cute it is, only to have some paranoid mother accuse me of looking at her kid "the wrong way"..