3 kids - 2 boys, 1 living - (forever 18 and almost 11); 1 girl (9)

None were "planned" but I figure if you are going to play the game of life you better be prepared for the consequences right? I maybe had some misplaced belief when I had my first son - being the tender age of 20 myself - that raising kids would be easy and all flowers and smiley faces. Although this journey of parenthood had been hard, frustrating, and I have fallen on my face more times than I can count, I will say my kids have made me a better person and they have given me and taught me far more than I have or will ever give or teach them. Loving children is knowing what it is to want to hold something as tightly as possible but knowing you can't. They change us.

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Nellie - forever Tyler's mommy

Zero. I never even considered a having kids. I also decided at 26 that I was not cut out for family life anyway. I'm too independent.

My lifestyle choice allows me to:

Go anywhere and do anything at any time unimpeded.

Own eleven cars. I've had as many as 15. I love Firebird Trans-Am's. I have an '84, an '86 and a '93. Those were my favorite years of the post-musclecar era. All of my cars run, drive and have current registration. I would drive every single one of them across country right now without concern. I could drive to work for two weeks, and never drive the same car twice. I've actually done it before.

Amass a sizable bank account because I do not have to spend 110% of my income raising a family.

I could go on, but I won't.

Some people have trouble grasping the fact that there are those of us out there who do not want a family, so I will quickly answer a few common questions:

Don't I get lonely?: Nope. Sure don't. If I notice that there are no people around, I read a book, watch a movie or go and wrench on one of my cars.

Does it not bother you that you will not pass your genes on?: Nope again. Anyone can procreate. If someone wants to have children, I am happy for them. I really am. Since I never did, I do not personally need to impregnate a woman to validate myself that I can.

I get the "You will change your mind someday." Or "Some little gal is going to come along and you won't know what hit you." Although now it's very few and very far between.

Well, It has not happened for almost 44 years, so I doubt that 6 years from 50, I am going to have an epiphany that makes me want to go against over forty years of feelings. I never say never, but let's just say I'm 99.99% sure.

I'm not knocking the family life and children, it's what the world is based on, but it is not for me. I am SO happy with my life. I actually knew in my teens that I was not cut out for family life. When I turned 40, even my longest hold-out, my Mother's sister finally gave in and told me that she now believed that I would never have a family.

I had been telling her that since my early twenty's, as I had been telling everyone else.

I have 5 children,though you can't call them children,since they range in age from 38 to 48 years old and have children of their own. I was just lucky,I guess.

quote Originally posted by nellieship: 3 kids - 2 boys, 1 living - (forever 18 and almost 11); 1 girl (9) None were "planned" but I figure if you are going to play the game of life you better be prepared for the consequences right? I maybe had some misplaced belief when I had my first son - being the tender age of 20 myself - that raising kids would be easy and all flowers and smiley faces. Although this journey of parenthood had been hard, frustrating, and I have fallen on my face more times than I can count, I will say my kids have made me a better person and they have given me and taught me far more than I have or will ever give or teach them. Loving children is knowing what it is to want to hold something as tightly as possible but knowing you can't. They change us.

After rereading this post,my belief that how lucky I am is reaffirmed.nellieship probably has bad times when she is alone,I wish words would comfort her,but they can't.You're supposed to go before your children !

Loving children is knowing what it is to want to hold something as tightly as possible but knowing you can't. They change us.
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Some of the most beautiful words I have ever read !

[This message has been edited by hugh (edited 10-06-2010).]

I have 3 daughters.

I didn't think about it that much when I was younger and always felt I wanted children. So I had a desire before a conscious reason.

I had 13 nieces and nephews before I had any children of my own. That didn't make me want children less.

I didn't have my first child until I was 35, so I had a lot more time to put thought into it. Ultimately, I decided I wanted more out of life than freedom and toys (both of which I like). I wanted to have the opportunity to invest in a few people on a daily basis and see what could be produced, and I wanted an arena to love some humans on a very intimate (obviously zero sexual context for this use of intimate) level.


So there was definitely an instinctual level of wanting them, but also a conscious giving level that came later.

Four kids;

B14 (Actually, my namesake here):


G10:


B7:


and G5:


I don't know that I can really add to anything, especially what Don said. They love their Dad (and their Mom) and are a constant source of joy and aggravation. The three were planned, the fourth unplanned, but she is the light of my life. Her seven year old brother calls her "My baby sweetheart," and says that she is the "little shine in my heart."

My ten year old is showing signs of creativity, and I am looking forward to encouraging her, though she seems to be leaning toward fashion, not photography.

My seven year old is coming around to baseball. He's a better hitter than his older brother was at the same age, though he shows symptoms of Aspergers, we have to work on his temper and teamwork skills.

My 14 year old is now my friend, as well as my son. He talks to me about his questions and problems, and we play catch. Lots of catch. I have been very proud watching him grow, and look forward to guiding him through High School and beyond. He used to be the one that I told stories about, but now I tell him my stories. I'm looking forward to all of them growing up, but I am fearful of the girls as they reach their teens.

The baby knows her place in the world. She took a gluestick and pasted her school picture to my dresser, so that the first thing that I see when I get up is her smiling face.

I guess that I had kids because I am selfish. I need more love, and there's nothing like little arms around you, hugging you.

I'm 24, and none. And I don't plan on having any. I've put up with too much family drama in my life, and most of it has been negative. I don't really want to spend the next 20-30 years raising kids who'll probably just rebel and not carry my legacy anyways. Women don't make me want kids either, the more I meet my own age the less I want to be around them, I don't think I want to be attached to 1 woman for the entire rest of my life. Do I get lonely? I don't know, I'll know once I get my own house and I can be alone for a while. All I know is, I'll really enjoy peace and quiet for a while, and it'll be nice having toys and being able to spend my own income without getting it approved by my wife first .

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