Since we've broached such hard-hitting topics as "Do Any of You Guys Manscape?" and "Do You Pee Standing or Sitting?", I figured it was a good time to broach the topic of toilet paper usage. Inquiring minds need to know, you know?

So... which method do you use to clean the stink eye? Do you fold the toilet paper neatly, crumple it into a wad, or maybe something else? And for those of you who don't use "TeePee", what material do you use? Corn cobs? Your Finger(s)? Cosmo magazines? The Koran (that one's for you, Stan)? Or do you have one of them fancy toilets that shoots water up yer butt?

( In case you haven't figured it out, this thread is meant to be fun and lighthearted. Enjoy! )

That's like asking the question over or under when you change the roll? Or the question of sit or nest?

For the record though, I'm a folder

TMI!

[This message has been edited by FieroRumor (edited 02-05-2010).]

you have to SOME HOW know me and my friends...this topic got brought up out of no where about 4 years back.

we determined that the "wadder" was the type of person who took things one at a time, didn't really have a plan for things, just took them as they came. was more of a laid back kinda person, some may even call a "wadder" lazy. thing is, at the end of the day, the wadder got the job done and still had time for a beer or two after work.

the "folder" on the other hand was more specific in their actions. the kind of person that has an itinerary (sp?) for everything. some may call a "folder" uptight. a "folder" would be a more professional type of person with a specific goal in mind.

most of my friend were "wadders" and there were a few "folders" in the group. i myself was a "wadder" but after hearing the "folder's" pooints i decided to give it a try.

i now am a "folder" and have noticed that my tp usage has gone down quite a bit. i've also had less...accidentsinvolving a break in the tp.

BTW: the tp rolls over the top, much more accesible that way.

Had this discussion long time ago with friends. I'm a folder their all wadders. As my friend would say, "pooping is an event, you have to take your time with it, it's the only time you really get to be alone."

And to bring this a step forward here's the next step, Back to front or Front to Back? Myself, Back to front.

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Wow. You got way into it. Folder here.

quote Originally posted by FieroRumor: TMI!

Too late, dude. I already read it. But don't worry, I won't tell my dad.

Hahah, I love this thread.

Point for being a swift folder.

quote Originally posted by Fiero_Fan_88: Had this discussion long time ago with friends. I'm a folder their all wadders. As my friend would say, "pooping is an event, you have to take your time with it, it's the only time you really get to be alone." And to bring this a step forward here's the next step, Back to front or Front to Back? Myself, Back to front.

I was all about the back to front when I was younger, like, real young. Then, as I got older, I started thinking, "Wait, what if I have a "visitor" down there and I missed something? That could be awkward."

Life changing thought right there, front to back for life.

P.S. I hate it when it splooshes me, and no matter how much I wipe, my ass is still somehow wet with toilet water.

[This message has been edited by Valkyrie (edited 02-05-2010).]

Sounds like you got mud butt^^^

Hahah, I hope to god that was not the case. *fingers crossed for JUST toilet water*

What does a redneck country guitarist use for toilet paper 'build thread'
First, he takes a guitar string packet, and cuts it in four small squares.
He then takes one small square, and folds it in four:



he then tears off the corner of the folded paper:

and sets the small torn-off bit to one side..IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KEEP IT!!

He then opens up the folded paper:

and inserts his index finger through the hole:

and proceeds to clean his ...ermm...'dirty eye' with the finger, using the paper as a splash-guard
And now the important part!! Remember the torn-off corner? He uses that to clean his finger nail afterwards!!


Nick
I can't believe I just went to all that trouble to illustrate it !!!!
Hahahahaha!!

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 02-05-2010).]

That was the most awful thing I have ever viewed. I think some one should take your internet away after that one.

Lol. I've herd of doing that before with a cigarette pack. This thread is going to go no where

Down the pan, maybe?

I can't believe you took those pics. That is a little over kill but "useful" info.

Roll is on the back of the toilet I roll off what I need
Roll is on the holder I pull off and fold

Wadding up may cause unexpected lack of coverage and give you stinky finger.

I use a wad to wipe what's left of the wad.

Jim

quote Originally posted by 87antuzzi:

NO please NO!



How do you use the two sea shells anyway

(what movie reference?)

A long time ago, on a website far, far away... I wrote this about it:

quote I travel quite a bit between Europe and The States. And while a Big Mac is the same everywhere you go, toilet paper isn't. You have two kinds of people. "Folders" and "Stuffers". "Folders" are people that neatly fold a few sheets of toilet paper and wipe, "Stuffers" take a lot of paper, crumple it into a ball, and stuff it between their legs. Needless to say I'm a folder. It uses less paper and cleans much better. The only drawback is that you need strong paper to avoid sticking your middle finger accidentally up your own arse.

quote Originally posted by Blacktree: Too late, dude. I already read it. But don't worry, I won't tell my dad.

quote Originally posted by Blacktree: The Koran (that one's for you, Stan)?

I almost don't want to say it, but supposedly followers of that religion generally don't use TP.... They use their hands.

Yeah that's TMI but we have several Muslims here at the office and I've heard it mentioned more than once.

quote Originally posted by 2.5: How do you use the two sea shells anyway (what movie reference?)

Judge Dread

I heard the other day that the actual amount of time Bill Murry spent stuck in Puxatawny in his time loop in the movie "Groundhog Day" was 8 years!
Some guy on the net figured it out?

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 02-05-2010).]

quote Originally posted by fierofetish: I can't believe I just went to all that trouble to illustrate it !!!! Hahahahaha!!

I was funny! Worth the effort.

Kevin

You people are sick......

I kinda foldwad, I fold but not super nice just kinda quick. Oh and front to back.

quote Originally posted by fastblack: you have to SOME HOW know me and my friends...this topic got brought up out of no where about 4 years back. we determined that the "wadder" was the type of person who took things one at a time, didn't really have a plan for things, just took them as they came. was more of a laid back kinda person, some may even call a "wadder" lazy. thing is, at the end of the day, the wadder got the job done and still had time for a beer or two after work. the "folder" on the other hand was more specific in their actions. the kind of person that has an itinerary (sp?) for everything. some may call a "folder" uptight. a "folder" would be a more professional type of person with a specific goal in mind. most of my friend were "wadders" and there were a few "folders" in the group. i myself was a "wadder" but after hearing the "folder's" pooints i decided to give it a try. i now am a "folder" and have noticed that my tp usage has gone down quite a bit. i've also had less...accidentsinvolving a break in the tp. BTW: the tp rolls over the top, much more accesible that way.

So I hadn't replied because I don't really ponder over things like that about myself. I waited and found that I fold a couple of folds then wad. So I do both... What does that say about me? I start out with a plan and somewhere in the process I just decide to wing it, so I can make it home in time for a drink?

[This message has been edited by Khw (edited 02-05-2010).]

TMI to the limit and beyond.

You guys have WAY to much time on your hands,

And want to know some really weird crap. Pun intended.

But I am a folder if you must know, and not the way Nick folds.

Steve

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Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't.
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

quote Originally posted by 2.5: NO please NO! How do you use the two sea shells anyway (what movie reference?)

Demolition Man.

I fold, I also use less TP than the wife does. Why do women need so much TP? I can make a roll last forever while the wife can use one a day, it seems.
Does this topic have anything to do with your blowout last night?

[This message has been edited by avengador1 (edited 02-05-2010).]

quote Originally posted by avengador1: I fold, I also use less TP than the wife does. Why do women need so much TP? I can make a roll last forever while the wife can use one a day, it seems.

We stand and pee, so most of the time it's a shake and we are done. They wipe everytime.

[This message has been edited by Khw (edited 02-05-2010).]

Bidet FTW.
Naah, I wish. Folder here.

quote Originally posted by Khw: Demolition Man.

Correct. (Though I had the wrong # of shells, should be 3 shells)

http://answers.yahoo.com/qu...0071017014951AA3B8P9

TMI!

quote Originally posted by avengador1: I fold, I also use less TP than the wife does. Why do women need so much TP?

They have to wipe front AND back.

To Fierofetish: That was awesome! If I haven't given you a plus already, you're getting one now!

.

BTW, I'm a folder. And here's a funny story. I once had a situation where one wipe didn't get it all, so I folded it over to expose more fresh paper, and used it for a second wipe. True story!

quote Originally posted by Blacktree: BTW, I'm a folder. And here's a funny story. I once had a situation where one wipe didn't get it all, so I folded it over to expose more fresh paper, and used it for a second wipe. True story!

You're not supposed to do that?

Hahahaha. The topics just keep getting more and more scary around here, lol. But I'm a folder. Uses a lot less TP.

And to think. I was folding my wool socks when I started reading this. So I guess I'm a folder.

I use a wire brush that I keep in a bucked of bleach. I like to stay nice and clean

quote Originally posted by N3M3S1S: The topics just keep getting more and more scary around here, lol.

I look at it as PFF delving deeper into the soft underbelly of the human condition. You see, taboos are for primitive cultures. Progressive cultures like our own thrive on the sharing of personal, intimate information in as public a manner as possible. These little tidbits of information are the glue that binds modern culture together.

And if you believe that one...

( I started this thread as a parody of some of those other threads. So have fun with it. )

Folder here. And the TP rolls OVER... its annoying to get at otherwise

Why THANK you!! First time I ever got a 'plus' for talking a load of....poooo!! hahahah!! I'd give you one too...but I did long,long ago ADD: ? I thought I had rectum rectified now!
Nick

quote Originally posted by Blacktree: They have to wipe front AND back. To Fierofetish: That was awesome! If I haven't given you a plus already, you're getting one now! . BTW, I'm a folder. And here's a funny story. I once had a situation where one wipe didn't get it all, so I folded it over to expose more fresh paper, and used it for a second wipe. True story!

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 02-05-2010).]