I have a few people asking me what I want for Christmas, and all of them are not in any place to be spending money they don't need to. For example my employee wants to buy me a $100 gift, but he can barely make any of his bills. I really don't want anyone to buy me anything. Just telling me Merry Christmas is fine. I hate the thought that they would put themselves in a spot to give me a gift.

So how can I talk them out of it? I have tried to just say "ahh thanks but you don't need to get me anything" But they just say they are.

Ideas?

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Good luck. I've been trying to convince people to stop giving me stuff for years. Never works...if they want to buy you something, they'll buy you something.

I tell people I'm not a Christian. That usually does the trick.

Barring that, you could just give your employee a $100 money order for Christmas, to balance it out.

[This message has been edited by Blacktree (edited 12-01-2009).]

You have to tell them straight and hard. Buying is ingrained in their being. They are not right in this world unless they buy gifts.

Stop the cycle.

Just flat out tell them - "Do NOT under any circumstances buy me a gift."
They won't take hints.
Then mention that you won't be getting them a gift either. Then they'll get the idea. Most people will understand if you tell them it's because of the economy.

I don't care for getting gifts either. In fact, I hate it. If I want something I purchase it for myself. The only exception is my significant other, and she doesn't have to spend money on me, I just want them to show me that they love me. It can cost $0 to do this. Not an innuendo either. I always tell people to not buy me gifts, as it will offend me. I have had people close enough to me that tell me to shove it, but for the most part it stops the gifts.

Tell your employee that he is fired if he buys you a gift.

Walk around shouting "BAH HUMBUG" when anyone says anything about Christmas to you? Its worked for me so far

Just tell him it's against company policy to give gifts to management. Then tell him he's a suck up. Ok, leave that second part out.

Perhaps redirection is in order. It seems as though, at a minimum, your employee is trying to express his gratitude for the fact that you're the reason he is meeting his bills, at all. So tell him that you understand that he wants to give you something, and that all you want is a contribution, however modest, made in your name to the local food bank (or charity of your choice).

I grew up in a household where "giving" was an obligation. It had to be done, no free thought behind it, and the level of unstated (but manifest) resentment that accompanied a "gift" (because it was obligatory, and thus not from the heart) made it hard to accept "gifts" as something freely given.

By good fortune, I married a woman (and a family) that gives from the heart. They do the "standard" gift-giving thing (birthdays, Christmas), but it seems that gifts are constantly being given. By virtue of my upbringing, I still find it easier to give than to receive, but I've had to learn to accept that some gifts are freely, and lovingly, given.

Now I have no way of knowing whether your employee (1) feels obligated by the type of "culture" of my childhood; (2) wants to give you something out of a sense of obligation; (3) hopes to secure continued employment by way of his gift; or (4) just wants to give you something, for once, rather than the other way around. So I'd assume (4), and try to minimize the expenditure as best you can.

Just accept the gift and send it to me. I'll let ya know what it was and then you can 'ohh and ahh' and honestly tell your employees "how much it was appreciated".

Tell them you've converted to Islam, and will kill any infidel who buys you a gift!

quote Originally posted by fierobear: Tell them you've converted to Islam, and will kill any infidel who buys you a gift!

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for Tyler
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I'm the Grinch at work, in the 10 years I have been there only one person has got a gift and it was a gag gift that I was going to throw away so it didn't cost me anything.

Now family, good luck with that. I have been telling everyone that I don't need anything. Its funny you should see the wish lists I get. Why would you send someone a wish list that doesn't have anything under $50 on it to someone that just told you they had to cut back this year and to not buy them anything?

quote Originally posted by DeLorean00: For example my employee wants to buy me a $100 gift, but he can barely make any of his bills. I really don't want anyone to buy me anything. Just telling me Merry Christmas is fine.

Fire them. I guarantee they won't buy you anything. They might fire back, but they won't buy you anything.

Jim

Edit: Imsa already mentioned my thought. I didn't read the whole thred prior to posting.

Don quit begging.

[This message has been edited by jimbolaya (edited 12-02-2009).]

I don't know how many employees you have but maybe you can have a small Christmas party. Even if you just have the one employee it can be you and your girlfriend and hims and his girlfriend. Tell him any gifts within the company have to have a $15 price limit on them.

I agree with the poster that said he wants to get you something so you know he's grateful for the job, and that's not a bad thing. I don't think he needs to spend $100 to show it. I don't spend $100 on my wife. In fact, for the last 5 years I've gone to the bank, gotten $500 in cash, done all my shopping in a day and when the cash ran out, I was done. If my list wasn't all checked off and I was out of money, well, better luck next year, maybe you'll move up on the list.

We spend WAY too much money on Christmans gifts, I think. For your anniversary, I went to the local Alco, bought a nice looking little basket from the crafts department, bought some scented pinecones, put pinecones in basket, got a card, gave it to wife. Cost me $13 and the wife loved it. Don't have to spend a bunch of $$$ on presents, just have to know who you're getting the gift for and if you don't know them that well, why in the hell are you getting them a gift???

John Stricker

quote Originally posted by jstricker: If my list wasn't all checked off and I was out of money, well, better luck next year, maybe you'll move up on the list.

quote just have to know who you're getting the gift for and if you don't know them that well, why in the hell are you getting them a gift??? John Stricker

I come from a family that doesn't really give gifts. Mainly because we were broke so much growing up. My wife's family basically forces gift giving, and I hate it. We end up buying presents we cannot afford for people who will not appreciate it. Every Single Year.

Delorean00, Just try being a total A*s**le to people, it's working for me. . Though I still get presents from her family, the gifts are usually dollar store trinkets, and were the bare minimum of effort on their part. It's only taken 12 years to get this far, every year I manage to get less and less.

I also make it a point to tell her relatives (Aunts, Uncles, Mom, Brother) when they make it a point to thank me for whatever my wife got them that I had absolutely no part in purchasing the gift, and would have got them nothing if it was up to me.

Thankfully my family is more understanding (and less drunk). If I show up with a present for only 3 of my siblings it's fine, if I show up with nothing it's fine too. There is no "he got X amount of dollars worth of presents, and mine only equaled Y amount!" bull that I hear from the "other" side.

You either get something, or you don't. If you were a jerk for the year there is a pretty good chance you are not getting anything. We deal with it, it's life.


Brad

Just sit back and feel loved and appreciated.

quote Originally posted by jstricker: In fact, for the last 5 years I've gone to the bank, gotten $500 in cash, done all my shopping in a day and when the cash ran out, I was done. If my list wasn't all checked off and I was out of money, well, better luck next year, maybe you'll move up on the list. Don't have to spend a bunch of $$$ on presents, just have to know who you're getting the gift for and if you don't know them that well, why in the hell are you getting them a gift??? John Stricker

OK, that explains it. Now I know why I got that "special gift" from KS. The garden has done well since I sprinkled "it" on the soil.

Ron

This year is the first my family went to drawing names, and you only get the one person a gift. It was wierd for me. Because I buy gifts thru the year, whenever I see something that I know the person would like, stash them in the closet until it's time to wrap them for under the tree. So I ended up getting things anyway and they will be for their birthday, I also did not get certain things though I wanted to, because I knew it would be a good gift for that particular person, but we are now drawing names.

Tell them the only thing you want is a zhu zhu pet.