Ill start.

A blond is driving down the street one day when she passes a grass field with another blond rowing a boat in the center of it. The blond in the car jumps out and runs to the edge of the fiels and screams, Its blonds like you that give us a bad name, If I could swim Id come out there and kick your a**

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

What is the difference between a blonde, and a 747?............................Most people have never been on a 747.


Tony

whats a burnett between 2 blonds....... a translator.

How and where did the blond die?


Froze to death at the drive-in watching "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER"

What do you call a smart blonde?
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A golden retriever

[This message has been edited by LT188GT (edited 08-22-2009).]

Why are Blonde jokes so short?

So Brunettes can understand them.


What does a blonde and a screen door have in common?

The more you bang em the looser they get.


How do you get a 1 armed Blonde out of a tree?

You wave to her.

What was she doing up there?

Raking leaves.

A blond sits down next to a guy at the bar. On the T.V. there's a news story showing a man on a ledge threatening to jump. The guy turns to the blond and says: "Hey, I bet you $10 that he jumps". The blond says yes and a few seconds later he jumps.
The blond pays him the money.

A little while later the man returns to the blond and says "Here's your money back, I felt bad about taking it, that news story was on earlier, I had already seen it."

The blond replies "Ya, I saw it to, I just didn't think he would jump again".

You know what Blonds and airplanes have in common?

The little black box tells the truth.
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Know the difference between a blond and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before getting on a trampoline.
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Know what you call a brunette and 3 blonds standing on a street corner?

Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4bucks.....

Q: Whats worse than a brunette trying to build a house on the bottom of the ocean?

A: A blond trying to burn it down.

GENTLMEN !!!!!!..........

This thread is EXTREMELY offensive to blonds, and I am now going to issue a very stern warning !!!!
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.Please use small words so the blonds can read the thread as well.
I thank you, and so do the blonds.....and OHHHHHHHH, BBOOOYYYY, they know how to say "Thank You"

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 08-22-2009).]

Three blonds were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blond said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blond said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blond said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blonds were still arguing when the train hit them.

A Redhead goes to her doctor.

Tells Doctor, everywhere on my body hurts.

Doctor says, show me.

Redhead points to her hip, cries out in pain, touches her knee, again cries out in pain again.
Then touches her left elbow, says, see Doc, everywhere I touch, it hurts so bad. What's wrong with me ?

Doctor thinks for a minute, and says, your not really a Redhead are you ?

She looks up, responds , no, I'm a Blond, how did you know ?

Doctor says, Well my dear, you have a broken finger !!

One day a blonde walks into a cell phone store, to get her phone fixed. She tells the clerk how she needs the phone ASAP to keep in contact with her mother who is out of town.

The clerk takes the phone and tells her that is going to be at least $300 to fix the phone or get a new one.

The blond immediately tells the clerk she doesnt have that kind of money, but she would be willing to do ANYTHING to talk to her mother.

The guy says ok and takes her in the back room and tells the blonde to get on her knees.

She gets on her knees and the clerk unzips his pants and tells her to go ahead.

The blonde proceeds to take out his junk, puts it to her mouth and goes "Hello mom?"

Frozen Crabs & the Blonde Stewardess



A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.



She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.




Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"




Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think