NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Outstanding!!! A few familiar ones, but funny none the less.

Jim

By the definition on that list-----------there is no such thing and never will be----a successful man. The man hasn't been born that can make more money than a woman can spend.

MARRIAGE--fixed it for ya

A woman marries a man expecting she can change him, and he eventually dies from the fatigue caused by the effort to resist that change.

quote Originally posted by maryjane: By the definition on that list-----------there is no such thing and never will be----a successful man. The man hasn't been born that can make more money than a woman can spend. MARRIAGE--fixed it for ya A woman marries a man expecting she can change him, and he eventually dies from the fatigue caused by the effort to resist that change.

I know this, so to extend my life, I just gave up long time ago. You can choose to be right or choose to be happy, but you can't be both. I chose happiness.

Jim

on the other hand if the male can be the dominant one and the woman changes to the mans life style

quote Originally posted by proff: on the other hand if the male can be the dominant one and the woman changes to the mans life style

Let me guess......
You're under 40 yrs old?

Topic: "Single Men are just happier people

Fixed that for ya.

Ron

[This message has been edited by blackrams (edited 06-28-2009).]

there ya go Ron.

Men are more simple people ,,women have complicated minds?????? Give a man a warm place to crap,,,some tight chone,,,and loose fitten shoes,, he is basiclly happy

[This message has been edited by uhlanstan (edited 06-28-2009).]

We are kind of like puppies.
We will go to anyone who will scratch our ears, feed us or allow us to bury our bone.
If we can't eat it or hump it, we will usually pee on it.

quote Originally posted by maryjane: Let me guess...... You're under 40 yrs old?

Nup
i am 48 and julie is 40