I"ll start off by saying, I have a pretty sweet gig. I work in a state run hospital, have great benefits, TONS of vacation time, a great (sometimes frustrating) boss, and the stability that a state position has is great. (esspecially nice when I came from banking!)

The issue that I'm having is this....we have a T/A (abortion) clinic one day a week and I really struggle with it. We see people alot that are doing it for genetic reasons (fetus abnormalities, potentially serious side effects on mom or fetus etc) and those are hard. Because a lot of those people have tried for a long time or have struggled to get pregnant and then they have to decide what to do once they find out about a genetic disorder.

But then you have these people who come in here and use it as a birth control method and it makes me sick! We've had one person come in 3 times in the past year. I mean, really, at that point, you need someone to smack you. Or the people who come in and just announce it to the world that they are here for an abortion, and then they sit in our lobby and joke with their friends, or sit on the phone smiling all happy and stuff. Like, do you realize what your here doing? Or do you just not care?

I don't know what I would do if I was ever in that sort of situation, and my views may change as time goes on. But its very hard for me to seperate my personal feelings about it, but I dont have a choice but to deal with it. It is my job, and I love my job (every other aspect of it). I don't have much interaction with these patients once they are checked in and scheduled and stuff but I still hear about it, still hear about the procedures, and still deal with the emotional side of it when they come out, or are waiting and crying, etc.

How do you all do it? Anyone else have a job where they don't morally agree with things?

***And just to say this now, please no one decide to take this to another level, I don't care to argue or for people to pass judgement on whether or not abortion is right or wrong. I'm speaking from personal expierience and don't want all the politics to start***

Thanks and have a great day!

I've been faced with moral and ethical issues in my career before, all I can really say is you have to decide whether or not it's a priority to you or not. If it is, then you may want to try to change jobs. If not, then you're gonna have to suck it up and deal with it. Dealing with people/public can be very frustrating. We're all different and have different perspectives on any number of issues.

In my career, I've put my own job on the line for a few things I felt very strongly about, this is not something one should do without thinking long and hard about it. In one case, it cost me the job. In this situation, you have no say in the scenerio. Our society/legislators have decided the abortion issue, you can't change that on your own accord. The law is what it is whether you, I or others like it or don't like it.

I know this sounds hard but, you either have to suck it up and do your job or move on to something else. Don't forget about telling your elected officials about how you feel about this.

Ron

[This message has been edited by blackrams (edited 01-13-2009).]

It all depends on how strongly you feel about something. Personally, I couldn't work in an abortion clinic. I'd rather live in a cardboard box on the street. If you feel strongly enough about it, I'd find another job. Perhaps, your boss would let you work in a different part of the facility?

With my job as an Equal Opportunity Advisor, I learned that everyone has prejudice and everyone has an "ism" (racism, sexism, etc) to some degree. But yet, my job is to filter though all these issues and give an unbiased viewpoint and recommendation. After I learned that everyone has prejudice and everyone has an "ism" issue, I learned that it's not a matter of having those issues. It's a matter on how you learn to deal with those issues and learn to block those issues when dealing on a professional level.

I am a sexist. I know it. I still "practice" being a sexist outside of the workplace. I bury that ism while in uniform I've never had a female Soldier lodge a complaint against me after I hear their issue and make a recommendation. I've learned to bury my "isms" and become almost stoic when dealing with some issues.

If you can't deal with the conflict of your personal morals, ethics and values with that of your job, you may have to face the reality that that job may not be the best job for you.

It IS difficult to separate the 2, but you have to do it if you wish to retain your sanity and your job. If it truly is a big sticking point, use your experience there, to find emplyment in another field of health care.

while most of us agree, using abortions as birth control is pretty outragous. but - would you prefer that lady handed you the babies she dont want? or, even better - have them used for food during the dog fights? obviously - what we really want is this b!tch to have her snatch glued shut. but - that is not allowed. and being that reproduction is the ultimate form of success, it really irks people to see such a loser having such success in life.

Having been in the military, I have more of a "so what, it's your job" type of view, because in there, personal feelings are irrelevant... I joined a little later in life, and I was 23 with 18 & 19 year olds bossing me around, and they knew it was hard to handle, so they made sure to be extra rude.

Hopefully this doesn't sounds too harsh, but you chose the job. Anything personal has to be left at the door when you walk in, whether it's your stand on abortion, or you just don't like your co-worker. If a lawyer takes the case of a man he believes or has been told is innocent, and then suddenly finds out that the person actually is guilty, he must still defend that person to his fullest capacity. How do you think a lawyer in that position feels if his client were acquitted? Just another example of how your personal feelings are irrelevant at work.

On that same note, don't waste one moment of your life not doing exactly what you want to do. If something bugs you about this job, then it's going to keep bugging you, no matter how well you leave it at the door, and you should find another one, or at least see if there is some type of transfer.

Anyway, that's my input.

------------------
Journal of a concept: http://southeastfieros.com >>> Build Thread >>> Parts thread (for project funding)

quote Originally posted by sarabear: How do you all do it? Anyone else have a job where they don't morally agree with things? Thanks and have a great day!

I have a job where I WITNESS all kinds of thing I morally disagree with all the time. How I handle that is I repress MY personal feelings about their decisions and I try to be just as kind to them as to someone I really like. It is difficult to do. But that is my attempt. The thought process that goes through my head is this: "Some day they will have to face God and answer for themselves what they have done. I am not that God. HE is their judge. Not me. The job He has given me is to be loving and kind." So I try to focus on MY part in all this world, and allow Him to do His.


HOWEVER, I am willing to WITNESS things I morally disagree with, but I will not PARTICIPATE in and ENABLE those behaviors.

So if I had a job where THAT was happening, I would have no choice but to leave the job. Because I could not live with enabling or participating in it.

That's how I handle it. I don't know if that distinction helps you or not.

Sarabear, remember it isn't you making this decision, it is them and their decision. Wrong or right, they are making a legal decision that may not be moral, but that is their right. Unless you personaly are giving the abortion you shouldn't worry about it, just pray for them, it might make you feel a bit better and is all you can do.

I do it by time, backed up with some knowledge of labor law (and I admit the help of a few friends )

As soon as I am off the clock, its my world. When I am on the clock its thiers.

That leads to a give-and-take situation that can be negotiated as to where the lines are.

IE: in our company, we pay our own cell phone bills....they tried telling us we werent allowed to make personal calls in company trucks on the road on phones we paid for ourselves, but were supposed to answer company calls within 3 rings......mine simply developed a "bad battery" for several weeks and the problem went away.

They tried telling us we werent allowed to take the shortest route (time) at the end of the day. Office or home. Fine by me, I just started watching the clock and making sure the truck was back to the office by quitting time.

They tried telling us we had to be at work 15 minutes early and check out 30 minutes late every day. One phone call took care of THAT stupididty.

While my somewhat-related situation is a LOT less "life or death", it did involve something I am REALLY against - SCAMS. I went for a job interview once, and it was an amazing deal. great salary, benefits, bonus, free food, you name it. Then, I found out where the company made most of their money. Basically by scamming ignorant people on the internet. No way I would work for a company that did that sort of thing.

As for your situation, you interact with people who have had abortion every day - on the street, in the supermarket,etc. you can't avoid, THAT. The thing is, can you provide 'proper care' to people you utterly detest?

You aren't the one that is performing the abortion, If I were you, if you don't want to deal with those sort of people, I'd see if there was a way to be able to avoid them - work a different shift (work one of the weekends days and take that day off) or find a way to come to grips that not everyone in the world feels the way you do about things...There is a difference between ignorace and stupidity, though!

I base my entire philosophy of life on the fact that it's none of my business what other people do. I have my opinion, but it's merely an opinion. I keep it to myself and don't try to impose it on others. I completely let go of any desire to control or judge another person.

quote Originally posted by Taijiguy: I base my entire philosophy of life on the fact that it's none of my business what other people do.

An excellent philosophy. I agree with it.

What she is saying, I think, is that they are trying to access services that at some level draw her into their business. I think she is trying to determine how close to someone else's business she can be drawn into participating, and still be ok with it not going against who she is as a person.

But, yeah, if it isn't that the issue bothers your conscience, and it just appalling to you, then the solution is to just roll your eyes, realize everyone has to answer for their own behavior, and try as hard as you can (which IS very hard) to be nice to them anyway.

quote Originally posted by frontal lobe: What she is saying, I think, is that they are trying to access services that at some level draw her into their business. I think she is trying to determine how close to someone else's business she can be drawn into participating, and still be ok with it not going against who she is as a person. .

My point exactly....I guess I just didn't get it out the right way.

Sara,

Whether you realize it or not you deal with people you do not agree with all day long. Since you are working in a medical setting there is no telling how many people go into the Hospital just to get pills and get high. Do you think these people are right? of course not, but you can't change the fact that someone has to give them help. Everybody uses hospitals, Addicts, alcoholics, spousal abusers etc etc.

I would stay, I would hate T/A day though, and probably use a lot of sick days on that day.

Brad

quote Originally posted by blackrams: I've been faced with moral and ethical issues in my career before, all I can really say is you have to decide whether or not it's a priority to you or not. If it is, then you may want to try to change jobs. If not, then you're gonna have to suck it up and deal with it. Dealing with people/public can be very frustrating. We're all different and have different perspectives on any number of issues. Ron

I agree with Ron, also you could refuse to do some stuff and try and keep doing the things that do not bother you morally, and get on the news, but likely lose your job. If it means alot to you.. this is not the job for you IMO.