My grandfather is losing his fight with cancer. I've watched the situation deteriorate almost literally over night. Just the past week he has steadily grown worse. I got off work this morning to learn that last night he got belligerent and apparently bruised my grandmothers arm when he grabbed her. He wasn't always the "nice" grandfather when I was growing up but he also was never mean. Just quiet. I know he is not in his right state of mind but its still not easy. So if you could just keep his son (my dad) and the rest of the family in your thoughts and prayers. My parents are headed that way right now because the children (my dad and his brothers and sisters) have decided they didn't want to leave my grandmother alone with him. Hopefully they can get things calmed down and he can pass in peace.
My mother lives in an Assisted living place, so I see quite a few people heading for end of life. DO NOT blame your grandfather. I've seen some very very nice people doing very uncharacteristic things. I think they know whats ahead, and are just so frustrated about not being able to control their life. Sometimes drugs cause uncharacteristic behavior too. I understand the need for pain control, but I'm afraid its sometimes over used, to keep some folks 'in a happy place'. I've also seen the oposite, one of mom's neighbors neighbors had shingles. The children wanted her 'alert' and had her meds kept to a minimum. The pain literaly drove her insane, she was not a happy camper and was definatly not in her right mind when she passed. End of life situations are very confusing, It's a ying and yang situation, medicine can keep a body living when, sometimes it's not the kindest thing for the patient. Thank God there is a most excelent Hospice unit where I live. My hat's off to Hospice workers, they've seen alot of pain, and are still the most helpfull and kind people you will ever meet. I don't know if I've confused you or not, just remember that a lot of people here are pulling for you and your family. Positive waves sent.
I will pray for your family and strength for those that need it.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."
This has always gave me strength when I needed it.
Jake, that is beautiful.I have kept it to put on my bedroom wall, to read every time we go to bed.Thanks. And more prayers and best wishes are on their way. God Bless Nick
Thanks guys and gals. The doc that has been coming to the house checking on him has given him 24 hours but it was expected. My family appreciates everything.
quote
Originally posted by DtheC:
My mother lives in an Assisted living place, so I see quite a few people heading for end of life. DO NOT blame your grandfather. I've seen some very very nice people doing very uncharacteristic things. I think they know whats ahead, and are just so frustrated about not being able to control their life. Sometimes drugs cause uncharacteristic behavior too. I understand the need for pain control, but I'm afraid its sometimes over used, to keep some folks 'in a happy place'. I've also seen the oposite, one of mom's neighbors neighbors had shingles. The children wanted her 'alert' and had her meds kept to a minimum. The pain literaly drove her insane, she was not a happy camper and was definatly not in her right mind when she passed. End of life situations are very confusing, It's a ying and yang situation, medicine can keep a body living when, sometimes it's not the kindest thing for the patient. Thank God there is a most excelent Hospice unit where I live. My hat's off to Hospice workers, they've seen alot of pain, and are still the most helpfull and kind people you will ever meet. I don't know if I've confused you or not, just remember that a lot of people here are pulling for you and your family. Positive waves sent.
Not confused at all. Everyone knows that he's not in his right state of mind. He has been delirious off and on the past week(picking at the carpet and couches claiming to be picking up the grasshoppers and other stuff). Just got really bad last night and today he was down most the day. Dropped by to see him shortly and he doesn't look good but at least he was calm.
Jake thanks for the poem. I've read it before and so had everyone at the house but I appreciated it none the less To everyone else pluses if you don't already have one from me. My parents are spending the night out there they feel grandmother shouldnt be left alone right now and I couldnt agree more. Anyone enough of my prattling thanks again everyone.
i dont know if this will help or not... my grandfather was also very sick with cancer a couple of years ago. while he was in the hospital and at home he was very different. he would be his normal self one min and the next he would be seeing things, such as ants on the wall. what it ended up being is he was not getting the correct amount of oxygen. i dont remember if it was too much or not enough. once it was corrected he was back to himself and was much more comfortable. i dont know if your grandfather is on oxygen but if he is it might be something to ask about. i hear it is fairly common for hospitals to give incorrect amounts of oxygen, some people react to it and some dont. best of luck
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08:00 AM
PFF
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tutnkmn Member
Posts: 3426 From: York, England, U.K. Living in Ohio Registered: May 2006
It is never easy to lose a loved one. While this time will be difficult for you and your family, you can find solace in the fact that your grandfather's suffering will soon be over and he will soon find himself in a better place.
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09:40 AM
RACE Member
Posts: 4845 From: Des Moines IA Registered: Dec 2002
Quick update. He passed this morning at around 530 am it was calm and peaceful from what I've been told. Everyone is coping as well as can be expected. Thanks to everyone once again from the Lowrey family for your thoughts and prayers Mike
To everyone else pluses if you don't already have one from me. My parents are spending the night out there they feel grandmother shouldnt be left alone right now and I couldnt agree more. Anyone enough of my prattling thanks again everyone.
