Well, I didn't want to take over another thread so I started this one. I was looking for a Mel Brooks quote and found too many to just pick just one, so I decided to start a thread for all to contribute. In my opinion, this guy is a classic. After reading some of the quotes that I found, I knew that in this day and age of trashy movies, we should remember that the work of a genius is timeless.

Blazing Saddles:

Jim: The Waco Kid: What did you expect? "Welcome sonny," "Make yourself at home," "Marry my daughter." You've got to remember, that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know . . . morons.
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Bart: Who is this Mongo, anyway?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who," he's more of a "what."
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Jim: The Waco Kid: What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?
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Gov. William J. Le Petomane: Work, work, work. Work, work, work. Work, work, work. Hello boys, have a good night's rest, I missed you.
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Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: The Waco Kid: We're not sure. Are we black?
Bart: Yes we are.
Jim: The Waco Kid: Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled.
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Bart: Mongo, why would Hedley Lamarr care about "where the choo-choo go"?
Mongo: Don't know. Mongo only pawn in game of life.
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Hedley Lamarr: Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp-out runaway decency in the west. Now, you will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
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Hedley Lamarr: There might be legal precedent! Of course, Landsnatching . . . land, land, Land, see Snatch. Ah, Hailie vs. United Sates. Hailie: 7, United States: nothing. You see, it can be done!
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Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!
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Jim: The Waco Kid: Where you headed, cowboy?
Bart: Nowhere special.
Jim: The Waco Kid: "Nowhere special." I always wanted to go there.
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Bart: What's your name?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Well, my name is Jim. But, most people call me . . . Jim.
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Taggart: I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: How?
Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.
Hedley Lamarr: Too Jewish.
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Olson Johnson: Our fathers came across the prairie. Fought, Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix. Remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to take over this town.
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Taggart: Send a wire to the main office, and tell them that I said . . . OW!
Lyle: Send wire, main office, tell them I said, "ow." Gotcha.
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Bart: I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.
Jim: The Waco Kid: Gee, in another twenty-five years you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.
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Hedley Lamarr: Be ready to attack Rock Ridge at noon tomorrow. Here's your badge.
Mexican Bandit: Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!
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Rev. Johnson: Now, I don't have to tell you good folks, what has been happening here in our beloved little town: sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped.
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Mongo: Mongo like candy.
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Jim: The Waco Kid: No, no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad.
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Howard Johnson: As the chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake to our new . . . n****r.
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Howard Johnson: You know, Nietzsche says, "Out of chaos comes order."
Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.
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Jim: The Waco Kid: I got a note this morning.
Bart: From who?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Well, I'm not sure. It was addressed to "The Deputy Spade."
Bart: Well, once I establish myself in this here town, Deputy Spade might turnout to be a groovy position.
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Bart: What is it, that's not exactly water, and it ain't exactly earth?
Bart and Charlie: Quicksand!!!
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Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
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Bart: You know, a man drinks like that and he don't eat, he is going to die.
Jim: The Waco Kid: When?
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Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a-glow with whirling transient nodes of thought, careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto!
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Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: Gal-darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.
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Bart: Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?
Howard Johnson: We don't care if it's the first act of Henry V, we're leaving!
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Bart: Need any help?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Oh . . . all I can get.
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Bart: [W]hy you do that to yourself?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Ah, you don't really want to know that.
Bart: I do, I do.
Jim: The Waco Kid: Well, if you must pry.
Bart: I must, I must.
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Taggart: What in the wide, wide world of sports's a-goin' on here?!
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Hedley Lamarr: Sir, you have the seeds of greatness in you. Nurse them, caress them, poor water on them.
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Taggart: Piss on you. I'm working for Mel Brooks!
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Hedley Lamarr: Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.
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Lyle: Dock that chink a day's pay for napping on the job.
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Jim: The Waco Kid: I must of killed more men than Cecil B. De Mille.
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Bart: Go for your gun.
Hedley Lamarr: Wait, wait, wait. I'm unarmed.
Bart: Alright, we'll settle this it men, with our fists.
Hedley Lamarr: Sorry, I just remembered . . . I am armed.

My favorite movie of all time.

From memory...

Waco Kid: ...Well I turned around and found myself face to face with a six year old kid. So I threw down my guns, turned around and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass!
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Taggart: A tollbooth?! Somebody's gotta go back and get a sh!tload of dimes!
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Hedley Lamarr: It's okay Taggart. Just a man and horse being hung.
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Crook: Rape. Murder. Arson. Rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said "rape" twice.
Crook: I like rape.
Hedley Lamarr: Kinky!

[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 07-16-2006).]

From Young Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein; What knockers.
Joe

From Young Frankenstein...
http://161.58.5.90/youngf/allalike.wav

quote Originally posted by motoracer838: From Young Frankenstein Dr. Frankenstein; What knockers. Joe

Damn, you beat me to it!

"I bet she gives great helmet."

Rail Road Crew Member to Bart : "They said you was HUNG!"

Bart: "...And they was right!"

Space Balls,

Barf, What the hell was that?

Lone, Star It's spaceBall One.

Barf. Theyv'e gone to pladd

[This message has been edited by motoracer838 (edited 07-16-2006).]

From Spaceballs, haven't seen it in a while, so I hope they are correct.
Lonestar: Were not doing this for money
Barf: We're not?
Lonestar: No,were doing it for a S**T LOAD of money
Barf: Aww you're right, and when your right, your right, and you, you're always right

Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sanders: He's an @$$hole, sir
Dark Helmet: I know that, what's his name?
Colone Sanders: That is his name sir, @$$hole, Phillip @$$hole

[This message has been edited by topher_time (edited 07-16-2006).]

Spaceballs,

Barf, Whoa, hold it, time, may I make a small suggjestion, any minuit now the Spaceballs will make a major u turn and head back this way and make us all dead!

Mad Max:

I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller!

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, diein' time's here.

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umm.... wrong Mel.

Character I can not remember the name of: "King you look like the piss boy"

King: "And you look like a bucket of sh!t"

quote Originally posted by Scott-Wa: umm.... wrong Mel.

i know, i hate mel brookes

i thought id start up a bit of a heated argument

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my health store
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Spaceballs ... Barf: "I'm half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend."

History of the World ... "It's good to be the King!"

Bart "Steady as a rock"

Waco Kid "Yes, but this is the hand I shoot with"

Those whove seen the movie get it. It's a sight gag, my favorites.

"Badges, we don't need no stinking badges" (It was stolen from an earlier movie, but I know it from Blazzing Saddles).

Blazzing Saddles is my favorite movie of all time. My buddies and I went to it the last night it was in town back in Aberdeen, SD (1975 I think). We just had to see it again, so we ended up going to it the next 3 weekends in surrounding small towns (Redfield, Britton, Ipswich). Just befor this past Christmas I found it at Target on DVD. I know, you arn't supposed to buy things for yourself befor Christmas or your birthday, I just had to have it. I hid it untill after Christmas just in case. On Dec 26th I told my wife I had bought it. She scolded me on buying myself a gift. The next weekend my son's girlfriend gave me the gift she had bought for me, yea, it was Blazzing Saddles on DVD. Made me feel 2inches tall.

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...Perfection....Where have you driven yours?

"It's good to be the king."

History Of The World, Part I

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1986 SE 350 V8

quote Originally posted by tesmith66: History Of The World, Part I

"The Lord has given us these fifteen... *CRASH* ... ... ten... ten commandments!"

HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART 1

Roman: "The jig is up!"
Joesephus: "And Gone"

Girl (can't remember her name): "I'm a Vestal Virgin!"
Mel Brooks (as Comicus): (Turns to camera) "I'm really sorry to hear that."

History Of The World Part I - You men go that way. You men go that way. I'm going to run around here in a circle.

Comicus - Stand up philosopher.
Bea Arthur - Oh, you're a bull**it artist.

You men go that way. The rest of you run with Mucus.

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Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

From Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Robin Hood: Unlike the Robin Hood's before me, I can speak with an English accent

Little John: I'm Little John, but in real life I'm really a big guy

Robin Hood: Blinkin, this is Achoo
Blinkin: A jew, here?
Achoo: No man, Achoo, that's my name, Achoo

Robin Hood: I was fighting in the crusades with the king. Unfortuantely, my father couldn't get me into the national guard

Villagers: Every time they film one of these movies they gotta burn down OUR village... ...leave us alone Mel Brooks!


I grew up on Mel Brooks' films

[This message has been edited by topher_time (edited 07-16-2006).]

It's good to be the governor...

Sometimes the things done and said in the background of Mel Brooks' movies are as funny as what's going on in the main plot and dialogue...in the segment of History of the World featuring ancient Rome, if you listen carefully at the beginning of the scene, you hear a character yelling to someone off camera...

"Yo, Oedipus! What up, mothaf*ck@!"

quote Originally posted by Vonov: Sometimes the things done and said in the background of Mel Brooks' movies are as funny as what's going on in the main plot and dialogue...

True!
One of my favorites is the food fight scene in Blazing Saddles.
Although you can't hear it over the ruckus, when Hedley Lamarr comes out of the men's room he very clearly mouths "motherf***er!", before disappearing back into the men's room.
A little bit different, but still...

[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 07-17-2006).]

Lord Helmut: "Hey you idiot i said across her nose not up it !"

gunner : "sorry sir , doing my best "

Lord Helmut: after seeing cross eyed gunner turns to Col. Sanders "who made that man a gunner "

to be continued

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