This is relationship advice from an old man. If you want it, read on, if not, hit the back button.
I had an opportunity to travel to Virginia with my dad last week. Now, my dad is really a pretty great guy. We had a lot of conflict when I was grwoing up. We had our differences and he was pretty strict, but today we have a great relationship, and try to spend time together when we can. (I live in Columbus OH. and he's in West-by-God-Virginia)
Anyway, among other things, my dad is a pretty sentimental and philisophical guy. It's a pleasure to talk to him about many things, and we covered a lot of topics on the long drive in his big Dodge Ram. We spent a great deal of time talking about relationships and how we felt about various things. One thing that I find myself dealing with is that I'm not very good at indulging insecurities in other people, especially my g/f. She's very successful and overall, the best thing that's ever happened to me, and from time to time, like so many people, she has moments of insecurity that seem to come from nowhere. I'm not real good at dealing with them. I tend to view them as manipulations or guilt trips or a method of trying to get me to assuage some irrational fears. It's a lot of work. But also, it sucks for the person feeling insucure, or needing some strokes. But I've sort of viewed that part as not really my problem. But, let's face it, when it's your significant other, it IS your problem. So I thought I would share this little tidbit that my dad imparted to me.
He understood exactly what I was saying, and shared with me this little story. He said every morning his wife (not my mom, they're divorced) will make him an omlette. Every single day, without fail. She gets up before him, goes through her morning rituals, and while he's getting ready, she makes him an omlette. He said when he sits down to eat, he can practically set his watch by what follows. One minute: "How is it?" Two minutes: "Is it hot enough?" Three minutes: "Do you like it?" Etc.
Now apparenly, my dad, has developed a great deal of patience since I was growing up. He says he just tells her that yes, it's great, he loves it, it's the best omlette she's ever made, even better than the one the day before.
He said that he knows he shouldn't have to tell her this every day. That it's just insecurity that makes her do that. "But", he said, "I realize, that's just the price of an omlette."
I have started to apply this philosophy in my dealings with other people. SO next time you're digging your heels in, refusing to give someone you love something so simple as a little stroking or compliment, just remember: "It's just the price of an omlette".