The song is from like the early 70's. It's more story-telling than singing. The singer says he had a flat tire, "so I limped on down the shoulder on the rim". He goes into a bar and there's a bunch of rednecks, and he has to talk his way out of a beating by saying he's an undercover FBI agent and starts telling stuff about each of them. When they start arguing with each other, he "kicked ol' green-teeth in the knee" and hauls outta there.

That's all I can remember. Who recorded it, what's it called, where can I get the lyrics, and which one of you long-hair commies is gonna send me a tape or CD so I can hear it again for the first time in decades? And don't send me to those Napster wannabe sites, thank you very much.

Charlie Daniels Band,

Uneasy Rider

I was takin' a trip out to LA,
toolin' along in my Chevrolet,
tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio

jes' as I cross the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
and I knew that left rear tire was about to go

well the spare was flat and I got uptight
'cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
so I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rim

I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
it was right in front of this little bar
a kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop Inn

well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
and told the bartender that I had a flat
and would he be kind enough to give me change for a one

there was one thing I was sure proud to see
there wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me
and he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephone

I called up the station down the road a ways
and he said he wasn't very busy t'day
and he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or so

he said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother
tellin'
the durn fool I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go

I jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
when some guy walked in an' said who owns this car
with the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floor

well he looked at me and I damn near died
and I decided that I'd jus wait outside
so I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door

jes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
these five big dude come strollin' in
with this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth

an' I was almost to the door when the biggest one
said you tip your hat to this lady son
an' when I did all that hair fell out from underneath

now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
in Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
'specially when there was three of them and only one of me

well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
and I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick
so I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the knee

he let out a yell that'd curl your hair
but before he could move I grabbed me a chair
and said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man

well you may not know it but this man's a spy
he's an undercover agent for the FBI
and he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan

he was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
but everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me
and I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went

I said would you beleive this man has gone as far
as tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
and he voted for George McGoveren for president

well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags
I betcha he's even got a Commie flag
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage

he's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys
he may look dumb but that's jus a disguise
he's a mastermind in the ways of espionage

they all started lookin' real suspicious at him
and he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute jim
you know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life

I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch
and I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
and I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife

then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
but I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck

and when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks
and they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacks
so I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up

Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot

an' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run
but somehow I couldn't resist the fun
of chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lot

well they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas
and spun around and headed them off at the pass
well I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air

well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'
like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'
but I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there

when I hit the road I was really wheelin'
had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
an' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas

I think I'm gonna re-route my trip
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
if I went to LA via Omaha!

John Stricker

PS, It's nice to know someone else is as old or older than I am.

quote Originally posted by Cheever3000: The song is from like the early 70's. It's more story-telling than singing. The singer says he had a flat tire, "so I limped on down the shoulder on the rim". He goes into a bar and there's a bunch of rednecks, and he has to talk his way out of a beating by saying he's an undercover FBI agent and starts telling stuff about each of them. When they start arguing with each other, he "kicked ol' green-teeth in the knee" and hauls outta there. That's all I can remember. Who recorded it, what's it called, where can I get the lyrics, and which one of you long-hair commies is gonna send me a tape or CD so I can hear it again for the first time in decades? And don't send me to those Napster wannabe sites, thank you very much.

Thanks! That made my day!

When I think of that song I always think of Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant, and somebody's (?) recording about a "dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin' to high Heaven". And Jim Stafford comes to mind, too.

quote Originally posted by Cheever3000: and somebody's (?) recording about a "dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin' to high Heaven".

loudon wainright the third.

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'84 2m4 se, a work in progress

I may be one of the only long hairs on this forum that listens to country music.. Not commie though... I'll try to send it to you but not many e-mail servers will let you send 4meg files... If it works, it is on the way... If not, I'll upload it to my website and post a link for you

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Alice's Resteraunt?

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench