A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear? "With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Two men walked into a bar.....the third one ducked.

Ha, those are both pretty funny

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Webpage www.geocities.com/Turbofiero84se

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OK, a guy walks into a bar, limping. He sits down and orders an iced tea. Someone at the other end of the bar catches his eye, and he asks the bartender; "Is that who I think it is?"
The bartender replies; "who do you think it is?"
"Well, he looks liek all the pictures I've ever seen of Jesus!" The man replies.
"Yeah, that's Him..." says the bartender.
The man demands; "What's Jesus doing in your bar?!"
"Well, He's not in here all the time or anything, but He's fairly regular. Heck, the Bible sayd He hung out with sinners...what's the problem?" Says the bartender.
"Well, OK...then buy him and Iced Tea on me!" says the man.

A little while later, another man comes into the bar, this one on crutches...he goes through much the same conversation with the bartender, and orders Jesus a Lemonade.

A third man enters the bar, this one in a wheelchair. Again, he notices Jesus and orders Him a drink.

After a bit (and a trip to the little boys room), Jesus decides to go. On His way out, He approaches the first man. "Thanks for the Iced Tea!" He says, as He touches the man..."Be healed". The man shakes his leg and exclaims; "That's the best my leg has felt in months! Thanks!", the man exclaims.

Jesus then approaches the second man, thanks him, thanks him for the lemonade, and heals him. The man dances out of the bar!

As Jesus approaches the third man, He thanks him for the drink, but the man is shooshing his wheelchair backwards as fast as he can..."Hey, don't touch me, Man...I'm on disability!"

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That's funny; I can actually see someone doing that too

When my nephew was about 5 he was going to a catholic school.

I tried to trick him to see how much he was learning. I asked him, "Did they teach you about Noah, and how he got swallowed by a whale?"

he replied, "That wasnt Noah!"

then who was it?

"Pinnocio's Father!" :c)

~ My Favorite Things ~

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin,
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. Sudden;y the guy's hand begins to ring. He holds it up to his face and starts talking into his hand. When he finished the bar tender said "what the hell is that?" then the guy replied "oh, im very techniclogical, i had a cell phone built into my hand and a pen made into my finger on the other hand". After that the guy walks into the bathroom and doesnt come back for 10 minutes so the bar tender decides to check on him. When the bar tender walks in he sees the guy bare @ss naked streched out against the wall with toilet paper hanging off his butt. The bartender goes "Oh my god!? what happened?" then the guy says "oh, nothing, im just recieving a fax"

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--Adam--
1987 Blue GT 5-speed
IM AOL: GTFiero
What oil leak? That puddle under the car is just sweat from all that horsepower.