some of the best line that i can remember are "Imfamable mans flammable?! what a world!" " bought to you by Futopia, the ice tea brewed by hippies and distributed by a hartless multi-nation coporation" "duff man is thrusting in the direction of the problem" in barts voice-"pue krusty, what were you drinking? gasoline? in krustys voice-Yes i was drinking gasoline MOTHER!" i cant think now but im sure there will be some good ones posted
------------------ Adam J. B.
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07:01 PM
PFF
System Bot
GTFiero1 Member
Posts: 6508 From: Camden County NJ Registered: Sep 2001
"I'm Bart Simpson, who the Hell are you?" "Eat my shorts." "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!" " Kiss you? But Dad, I'm your kid!" "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub." "Don't have a cow, man." "Cool, I broke his brain!" "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures." "What if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?" "Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't." "All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale." "No, he's pretty dumb. He's in all the same special classes I am. "I can't stand to see you so upset, Lis, unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress - Hmm, that gives me an idea note for later: put rubber spider down Lisa's dress." "Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ." "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson. "Dad, thanks to TV,' I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago. No, really, it's a serious problem. Ha, ha, ha! What're we laughing about?" "What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it." "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" "What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them-as is my understanding." "Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun." "I am through with working. Working is for chumps." "It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have." "Cross you heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in your eye. Jam a dagger in your thigh. Eat a horse manure pie!
what bart writes on the blackboards during every show
I will not carve gods. I will not spank others. I will not aim for the head. I will not barf unless I'm sick I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills. Funny noises are not funny. I will not snap bras. I will not fake seizures. This punishment is not boring and pointless. My name is not Dr. Death. I will not defame New Orleans. I will not prescribe medication. I will not bury the new kid. I will not teach others to fly. I will not bring sheep to class. A burp is not an answer. Teacher is not a leper. Coffee is not for kids. I will not eat things for money. I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee. I will not call the principal "spud head". Goldfish don't bounce. Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. No one is interested in my underpants. I will not sell miracle cures. I will return the seeing-eye dog. I do not have diplomatic immunity. I will not charge admission to the bathroom. I will never win an emmy. The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. I am not deliciously saucy. Organ transplants are best left to professionals. The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. There are plenty of businesses like show business. Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. I will not waste chalk. I will not skateboard in the halls. I will not instigate revolution. I will not draw naked ladies in class. I did not see Elvis. I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". Garlic gum is not funny. They are laughing at me, not with me. I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom. I will not encourage others to fly. I will not fake my way through life. Tar is not a plaything. I will not Xerox my butt. It's potato, not potatoe. I will not trade pants with others. I am not a 32 year old woman. I will not do that thing with my tongue. I will not drive the principal's car. I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. I will not sell school property. I will not burp in class. I will not cut corners. I will not get very far with this attitude. I will not belch the National Anthem. I will not sell land in Florida. I will not grease the monkey bars. I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. I will not do anything bad ever again. I will not show off. I will not sleep through my education. I am not a dentist. Spitwads are not free speech. Nobody likes sunburn slappers. High explosives and school don't mix. I will not bribe Principal Skinner. I will not squeak chalk. I will finish what I sta "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. Underwear should be worn on the inside. The Christmas Pageant does not stink. I will not torment the emotionally frail.
The Simpsons sitting on the front stoop of the trailer house hideout when on the lam after killing the gator in Florida. Homer: "yep, it'll be nice when Bart and Lisa grow up and get married" Marge:"But not to each other!" Homer:"Whatever you want Marge, but I'm only paying for one wedding."
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10:06 PM
PFF
System Bot
Neal Member
Posts: 1247 From: Calgary AB, Canada Registered: Jun 2001
HOMER: "Don't discourage the boy, Marge, he needs to learn how to weasel out of things. It's what separates us from the animals......except the weasel..."
HOMER: "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal.
Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog
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10:40 PM
Lady Pegasus Member
Posts: 1416 From: Hammond, IN Registered: Jul 2001
Ralph- "This taste's like Grandma." "I wanna go to Bovine University." "When I grow up, I wanna be a doctor...or a CATEPILLAR!!" There's just so many, I can't remember them all. But as soon as I do, I'll be sure to pop my happy little self here and share them with you all.
------------------ Hey pretty....don't you wanna take a ride with me...through my world?
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11:20 PM
GTFiero1 Member
Posts: 6508 From: Camden County NJ Registered: Sep 2001
MARGE: what do you think hes doing up in that tree house all day? HOMER: I dunno..drug lab? MARGE: drug lab?!! HOMER: or reading comic books, what am I? a scientist?
MARGE: Homer did you forget to put the fog lights in? HOMER: yes i for got to put the fog lights in.... MARGE: better pull over and play it safe.... Ba Boom! Marge: please let that be a dog...
never see somebody so whipped so fast ..waksh(wip sound)
Wow Elton John!! i tape recorded all you songs off the radio!
HOMER: here have this ROOM SERVICE NERD: Wow and award..oh, its a grammy (drops) slam.... PEDESTRIAN: hey dont throw your garbage down here!
HOMER: ...that night i nocked you up MARGE: we drank so muchthat night HOMER: heh, yeah! I thought bart was gonna be born a dimwit!
GUIDENCE COUNCELOR: well school can be tough for a little kid especially for such a flamboyent homosexual like your son MARGE: Barts gay?! GUIDENCE COUNCELOR: BART! Oh sorry, wrong file (places file back which reads VANHOUTAN, MILHOUSE)
------------------ Adam J. B.
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11:32 PM
artherd Member
Posts: 4159 From: Petaluma, CA. USA Registered: Apr 2001
"...And her usless stupid prepetual motion machine just sits there, spinning!" "LISA, IN THIS HOUSE, WE OBEY THE LAYS OF THERMODYNAMICS!" -Homer.
------------------ Ben Cannon 88 Formula, T-top, Metalic Red "Every Man Dies, not every man really Lives" 88 Formula, Northstar, Silver -Mel Gibson, "Braveheart"
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11:47 PM
Lady Pegasus Member
Posts: 1416 From: Hammond, IN Registered: Jul 2001
it wa 13th hour, of the 13th day, of the 13th month
episdoe where homer thins bart i gay:
HOMER: just sit here for a coupe hours and i'll be back (bart staring at cigarette bill board)....2 hours later... Well Bart how do you feel? BART: I dunoo, kinda want a cigarette. HOMER: Great! Lets get ya a pack. What kind do you want? BART: Anything slim! HOMER: D'oh...ok that didnt work.
HOMER: Now your mother haswoked hard to give things up and now we have to give something u for her. BART: I could take up smoking and give that up. HOMER: i proud of you son. Giving up smoking is the hardest thing you'll ever do. Have a dolar. LISA: But he didnt do anything! HOMER: didnt he Lisa? Didnt he? Wait, no he didnt!
woozle wuzzle
------------------ Adam J. B.
you gotta keep on keepin on...
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01:10 PM
Tonker Member
Posts: 612 From: Ottawa, ON, Canada Registered: Jun 2001
Smithers, trying to escape from a nuclear inferno at the plant, while Mr. Burns takes place in the escape pod: 'For the love of God! There are two seats in there!' Burns: 'Yes, I like to keep my feet up'.
'Hi, I'm Leonel Hutts, atourney at law.' 'That's why you're the judge and I'm the... law.. guy'. 'your Honor I'd like to move for a ... bad..trial thingy'
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02:48 PM
Master_Sushi Member
Posts: 1873 From: Oakville, ON Registered: Apr 2000
