I had an epiphany today. Much like the man in the IBM commercial described, only it wasn't about software. About 1am in the morning, a couple Fiero friends of mine along with my girlfriend decided to have a cup of Joe at the local Perkins resturant. We had a jolly old time... Right up until the very end. We were standing up at the register waiting to pay our bill, and 3 guys in their 20's started saying things from their booth. I swear this type of thing happens to me when I least expect it. The Fiero guy I was with nodded in their direction and mentioned that we seemed to be the target of their attention. He didn't do this in an obvious matter. It was more like "watch your back." Anyhow, I glanced over at them and one of them was pointing DIRECTLY at my girlfriend and saying all kinds of sh*t like "nice ass, baby." I mean vulgar stuff... It's one thing for a group of people to mutter amongst themselves, but it's something entirely different to literally yell stuff like that at someone you've never met. I got the feeling this guy was slightly drunk, but that is NO excuse. When I looked in his direction he just stared me down and muttered something in-audible. I'm totally in shock at this point. Who the hell is this idiot to spout off crap about the people I'm with and then have the nerve to stare me down! Suddenly I felt a burning sensation throughout my whole body. It was almost like icy cold liquid flowing through my veins. I felt like this person embodied everything I hated and feared. Those who know me would tell you that I'm one of the most lay-back people you could meet, but this was not me at all. When I was in 6th grade, I had trouble dealing with kids at school and my parent encouraged me to take martial arts lessons from a Phillipino(sp?) man who taught in my city. While other kids did their homework, I made it my religion(no joke.) This may sound irrelivant to my story, but when you've spent a substantial portion of your life immersed in the arts, you feel a need to prove that your efforts have not been for nothing. Much like a car nut finds it hard to turn down the challenge of a race. But no, it was never about violence. It was an art... And it was MY art. But I wasn't that at all. When someone insults you and your loved ones to that level, you don't think in terms of "What if I go to jail? What if I lose? What if..." I just closed my eyes, let the hate rush through my body, and said aloud "I'm going to put my first through this ******* jaw." But I didn't move. I just stood there in limbo, teetering on the edge... A minute passed like an hour and the next thing I knew we were on our way out the door. Now the SOB was standing up and staring at me right in the middle of the resturant! I told him to come outside while I gave him the Hawiian good luck symbol and walked outside while I was completely out-of-my-head on adrenaline. In the brief few seconds it took me to pass through the door, I visualized a thousands images of myself mangling this helpless idiot. Nothing else mattered. And he never came... When I was getting into the car to leave, I kept telling myself that this was the best possible outcome. I've walked away from these situations inspite of myself before, but this time it was different. It's almost 5am in the morning, and I still wish I hadn't left so easily. So what's the moral of the story? As shallow as it sounds, some people deserve an ass-kicking...
boy have i wanted to do what you wanted, many times.
Im afraid of being arrested for battery. I walked away like you have, or think its not worth getting myself involved. Would love to have powers like the girl from the movie "carrie" the original one. No officer, i have no idea how his car flipped over.
Posts: 428 From: parma, ohio USA Registered: Nov 1999
I agree that some people just need a good old fashion ass whooping. Im about to turn thirty this year and am just now getting ahold on my temper. I always had a hard time in walking away from assholes like that. Man i used to just love to fight (up into last year).BUT my wife really tries to make me see the other side (besides im getting to old to wake up sore in the morning anymore). I think you did the right thing GT. They were just probally drunk and ignorant. Besides i believe everything comes full circle. Sooner or later they will get thiers..
Posts: 2912 From: Loveland, Co Registered: Feb 2000
It sounds like the best thing turned out. You got to say what you wanted and the punk turned out to be just that. I turned 45 in Jan and I think I'm getting less tolerant. I think the problems we have today is because no one has stood up to these punks and just let them think there is nobody to answer to. Like those jerks in Central Park last weekend. I don't believe in police brutality, but the punks should at least to look over their shoulder before they act up. I have been getting into a "road rage" mode when people tailgate my Fiero. I even had to stop in the right lane of a 4 lane highway before this jerk would go around me(no other cars on the road). No wonder the don't let us cary guns, but the Carrie vision shure comes into my mind many times. Burn baby burn.
Posts: 536 From: laurens,SC USA Registered: Apr 99
proud of you man. I can honestly say you'll look back next month and say you'll be glad you didn't kick his ass. I've turned the other cheek and still look back and wish i hadn't. People like that always get what they deserve.
Posts: 536 From: laurens,SC USA Registered: Apr 99
I had, have, had,? a temper. It cost me almost 1000 dollars worth of lawer fees for an asault and battery I got from kicking the ass of one of my friends roomate from stealing about 400 bucks out of his room. I was at first trying to keep the the two guys apart, but the bad one kicked in my ankle so the gloves came off. I pushed my friend out of the way and proceeded to manipulate portions of his face. His girlfriend called the police before anyone could pull the wire out of the wall. It scared me because I lost track of time and didn't hear anybody yelling at me to stop. The guy had been out cold for I don't know how long. I was trying to push his face out the back of his head. I think the pain of my ankle being broken added to the fury. I knew then I couldn't let my temper take over like that. Not only is it expensive from lawyer fees, it was too easy to accidently kill someone without even meaning to. I was 25 years old at the time and still had some of the invincibility thinking going on. I'm now 38 and haven't hit anybody in years. It feels good to be in controll.(most of the time) My fiero gets some bad words from time to time. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
GT Bastard, Dude you did the right thing. From what you have said in your posting, it was indeed the best course of action. I too was raised in the Arts (Kenpo) since I was young. Most parents make their kids take piano lessons (or something similar ) not my Dad, he MADE me take Martial Arts, But not to be a BAD A** but more so for the Art and Mental Discipline involved. As a kid I hated it but as I grew older,there was a real appreciation for what it was and what was involved in promoting in rank. When I got to my adolescent stage in life, I had plenty of opportunities to "teach someone a lesson" or get back at someone for disrespecting me or someone close to me. I had always chose to just walk away from the situation and go home or to the dojo and just start working the bag (always seems to help release pent up anger, frustration,or whatever). As soon as I would start breaking a sweat, the mind trips would start(God,I shoulda' done this or that, or What if, but the worst one was...Am I just a Chicken Sh*t or what?). After several incidents like this, I finally talked to my Sensei about all of this crap that was going through me and he shook his head and said that although I was very proficient on the physical level, I hadn't learned a damn thing. I had NO clue (at the time) as to what the heck he was talking about. The real adversary is from within, but it took a long time for me to understand that. I'm a laid back guy as well, I'd rather party than fight but I always hated to deal with a**holes in public places especially when they want to prove just how tough they are . Leave it to Larry, if there is trouble, he'll back down, he always does. I dealt with that for a good portion of my teen years.
OK, now I'm in my mid 20's and somewhat more mature. Man, was I glad to have gotten thru my teens. Everything is cool and I've learned to be selective with the company or places that I go to. No more trouble......at least that's what I thought.
GT Bastard, sorry this is taking so long....I'll try to get to the point.
I'm with my girlfriend, we're minding our own business & she gets ASSAULTED!! No sh*t-talking, no insults, no nothing. Dude grabs her from behind & starts beating her for her purse. I COULDN'T BELIEVE this was really happening & it happened right out of the blue, TOTALLY unexpected. Needless to say, all my training paid off in about 10 seconds,and there were no "What ifs" for me to think about. All I knew was Ronnie was getting hurt and this man had to be stopped. Everything else was pure instinct. The end result was a person that may not walk the same ever again and I'm saddened by the fact that it had to happen.
Now I'm 40 and reading your post made me think about what happened back then.....and how I came to the realization that all the "what ifs" are useless.
Just remember, it's all just talk and B.S.-not even worth your time. You and your girlfriend were not physically hurt and YES, sometimes it seems that some people really do deserve an A**-whooping but like lennyb4 said,"It all comes FULL CIRCLE".
Keep it Cruisin' Coconut
Posts: 3905 From: Dallas, GA. Registered: Jan 2000
I'm sure Angela (sp) knows how you feel about this and she knows that the best did turn out.. I know with my luck i'd have ended up in Jail for Dectruction of private property (put his head through a window) and battery amoung other things i'm sure... My instructor always told us "it takes more of a man to walk away than it does to stand and fight" it may not see like it but its WAY easier to throw down some lame a$$ good-for-nothin than it is to suck it up and realize hes not worth the time and aggrivation... let alone the court costs and the ever present Deprevation of charactor suit when you wipe the floor with him in front of all of his lame-n-ites...
Posts: 1241 From: Wheeling, WV 26003 Registered: Feb 2000
Bravo, The best thing to do is walk away. Its not worth wasting your time or energy.
From time to time, I run into idiotd like that. I choose quick wit rather than violence. I never try to insult them (only makes things worse). Inviting them outside is usually a good way to shut them up.
Just a suggestion: growing a ponytail, or building-up your arms/chest will help. I guess its a natural intimidator.
FYI:. I cut off my ponytail a month ago.(I'm 6'1 225 lbs. I have been workingout for only 4 months.) I have already had a few "run ins" with some idiots. I NEVER had a problem before (unless I asked for it). Wish I had never cut it off. I hate to fight. Never HAD to.
Jun 16th, 2000
Posts: 1437 From: Interior Alaska Registered: Dec 1999
Twenty-five years ago, when I was 19 years old, I took up karate/kick-boxing. Our instructor drilled into our heads over and over again that the best course of action to take in an altercation was to remove oneself from the situation. It was difficult for me at the time to understand why someone who was built like a bull and was as fast as lightning would suggest running away. In later years I came to comprehend the wisdom of his words. As has already been stated here, you don't want to get yourself in a situation where you do grievous damage to some lout. It isn't worth the trouble (both during and afterwards). However, I'm surprised that no one here has mentioned the most important reason why it's wiser to walk away, especially in this day and age. Weapons!!! It doesn't matter if you're as skilled as Bruce Lee, if some nutcase surprises you with a knife, or worse, a gun, well, all bets are off.
Even if you were to "win" every fight, you're bound to sustain some damage. Young guys who never back down from an altercation are the same fellas who when they're older, usually walk with a limp or have one eye that's bad. So much for them proving how "tough" they are.
Posts: 8197 From: Salinas, CA Registered: Jan 2000
A ponytail? Doug, you've watched "Shanghai Noon" too many times!
Best thing that works for me is being 6'6" and weighing ~280 lbs. Only people that usualy mess wth me are drunk short people. They are easy to laugh off.
Seriously, ya did the right thing. Your life would not have been enhanced in any way by brawling with some pack of sh!theads in a coffee shop. Of course, I think any town in South Dakota could qualify as a small town and the chances you run in to this guy on the street are high. Kick his ass when he's sober.
Posts: 15796 From: N. Wilkesboro, NC, USA Registered: Nov 1999
I'm proud of you. You did the right thing. Most people don't mess with me only because I'm 6'2" and about 260#. No muscle, mostly flab, but I still block most of their view. Part of the martial arts is disapline. And you know what they say..."Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." Wait. That's not the right one. You know what I mean.
even though we all say it was the right thing i think that it is a pc factor.. its not pc to wax someone that deserves it.
im a student of the arts as well. & i hate having all this ability & not being able to show it because i was brought up in the school that its for defense only. these rat bast@rds talk sh!t & mess w/you & u know that in a blink of an eye they would wish they were never born. so u let it go. i hate letting it go. i hate my self for months after i walk away from a fight knowing that everyone thought i was a pu$$y & the other guy is so bad a$$ that i wouldnt even fight him because i was afraid. well i am afraid.. of being sued, of going to jail, of dishonering my teachers & their teachers.
i know exactly how u feel & even though u did the right pc thing deep down u know u didnt do the right man thing. that reminds me of an episode of ally mcbeal.. where the defendant beat some guy up & got off because he was defending a woman against verbal abuse.. the little dorky lawyer closed the jury by giving an example of when he got in a fight w/a big bully at a ball game & kicked his arse... he said it may have been wrong in every area.. except that he stood up for himself & it felt good.
i dont know your state laws but in colorado we can defend our selves & our property w/lethal force.. not just material property but a wife, a child, a girlfriend. but that is physical threats.. but if verbal abuse is every bit as real & u should be able to defend against that as well.
one final thing.. everyone says that he will get his & what comes around goes aroung.. not alwayz.. sometimes u need to be the 1 that gives him his.
[This message has been edited by SpeedPhreak (edited 06-16-2000).]
GT Bastard Member
Posts: 2243 From: Rapid City, SD Registered: Sep 1999
Man, who needs a shrink when you've got this forum? Thanks for the replies everyone. A couple days have passed, and I'm beginning to be glad I handled the situation the way I did. The last thing I need right now is a criminal record. But then I wonder... Would the satisfaction that I got from beating him up outweigh the consequences? Guess I'll never know...
Jun 17th, 2000
Posts: 488 From: Cameron Park, CA Registered: Aug 99
Hey GT...Good to see you did the mature thing; the fun thing woulda been to read him his future...that is untill the dust settles. Then if you hurt the little $h*thead you gotta deal with it...not to mention, it's usually these kinda pukes that squeel to the cops and pull a law suit to get whatever they can from you. Or go and get a gun, knives and 38 buddies! Where I come from, this stuff gets delt with the ol' fashioned way; usally a quick roll in the dirt, a lil' blood, a real handshake and beers all round!
Stand tall Grass hopper; You have crossed the ricepaper sucessfully!
ugh...did I say rice???
Jun 18th, 2000
Shadow Wolf Member
Posts: 43 From: Black Creek, BC, Canada Registered: Jun 2000
Impressive advice. Glad I'm not the only one who's been stressed over that sort of thing. I was a shy kid in highschool, so naturally I was the guy to pick fights with, though usually is was a group of anywhere from 4-10. I've walked away from a lot of fights, it ain't easy, but I've found the best way to work with the stress is to do something fairly physical. If you're into sports, that's great, but there's always the good 'ole punching bag. I used to even drive out and chop wood for a few hours, that always calmed me down.