A cowboy came into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When the cowboy finished, he found that his Fiero had been stolen.

The cowboy went back into the saloon, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head, without even looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Who stole my Fiero?" he yelled, with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"I'm gonna have another drink and if my Fiero ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I done back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I done back in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The cowboy had another drink, walked outside, and his Fiero was back!

He saddled up and started out of town.

About this time, the saloon keepper wandered out and asked, "Say partner, what happened back in Texas?"

The cowboy turned and said, "I had to walk home!"

It was a cold rainy night and two hobos who had been stranded along the railroad, in the middle of nowhere. They were cold, wet, and starving.
One hobo turned to the other and said "I don't know if I can keep going, we haven't eaten in days"! they struggled on a ways and came across a poor farm dog that had been hit by a train.
Looking at the pitiful remains, the first hobo said "I can't stand it anymore"! and proceeded to tear long strips of rotting meat off the dogs body, and start to eat like the starving man he was. He pulled another piece off and offered it to his friend.
He just looked at it and shook his head. After the first hobo had eaten his fill, they stared down the rails again.
After about a mile, the hobo who had eaten the dog turned to his friend and sid in a shaky voice,"I don't think i should have ate that dog". And then threw up on the rails
The second hobo looked at his friend and said,"that's what I've been waitin for. A HOT meal!

now that's just gross.