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computer illiterates and other dummies by olympic
Started on: 03-14-2000 08:28 PM
Replies: 19
Last post by: RICK on 03-23-2000 11:36 AM
olympic
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Report this Post03-14-2000 08:28 PM Click Here to See the Profile for olympicClick Here to Email olympicSend a Private Message to olympicDirect Link to This Post
Computer-Illiterates

The following is an excerpt from the Wall Street Journal by Jim Carlton.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for
magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into
the typewriter to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone
down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!"

Consumer Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion???)

On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

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Cliff Pennock
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Report this Post03-14-2000 09:06 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Cliff PennockClick Here to visit Cliff Pennock's HomePageClick Here to Email Cliff PennockSend a Private Message to Cliff PennockDirect Link to This Post
Until recently, all milk-cartons in Holland were labeled: "Good until three days after: (and then a date)". I have always wondered why they didn't simply print the date with these three days already added... I guess I wasn't the only one because, like I said, it has changed recently.
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SpeedPhreak
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Report this Post03-15-2000 12:17 PM Click Here to See the Profile for SpeedPhreakClick Here to visit SpeedPhreak's HomePageClick Here to Email SpeedPhreakSend a Private Message to SpeedPhreakDirect Link to This Post
i think the only people these warnings & advisments would help are not smart enough to read them in the 1st place.
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GT Bastard
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Report this Post03-15-2000 04:57 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GT BastardClick Here to visit GT Bastard's HomePageClick Here to Email GT BastardSend a Private Message to GT BastardDirect Link to This Post
I've worked as a tech at Gateway for over a year, and some of those have GOT to be BS. Like the "any key" one.... In the thousands of calls I've taken, I've never once heard that. I'm sure it was never THAT big of a problem for Compaq. Never heard the cup holder one either. We get people saying plenty of dim-witted things, but I don't really consider them stupid... Just un-informed. There have been plenty of times that I actually had to refer to a CD as a "compact disk" or "it looks like a flat silver donut" and people still confused them with floppy disks. Then people are always referring to thier computers as a "modem." It's like some people don't know that computers are capable of doing anything other than messing around on the internet. If you guys heard some of the crap people tell me, you'd fall out of your chairs laughing, but I've become accustomed to it I guess. I used to put them on mute and chuckle to myself....
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Raydar
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Report this Post03-15-2000 05:03 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarDirect Link to This Post
GT... I support computers too. Doesn't it seem like the, uh... "less informed" customers are also the ones with the worst attitude?
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Spyder
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Report this Post03-15-2000 09:48 PM Click Here to See the Profile for SpyderSend a Private Message to SpyderDirect Link to This Post
I don't have a "return" key. LOL

I have seen a joke program that gives you a drink holder, it pops open the cd rom.

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zebrex
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Report this Post03-15-2000 10:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for zebrexClick Here to Email zebrexSend a Private Message to zebrexDirect Link to This Post
I am a network administrator for an internet service provider, and boy do I get some dandy phone calls, but my favorite has got to be the woman who called me up and asked "ok Im logged on to your internet! what do I do now?" She had no idea what a browser was or how to use it but had managed to setup her dialup networking by herself. I almost told her to take the computer back to walmart (sigh) but I couldnt make myself do it
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87SC/GT
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Report this Post03-15-2000 10:42 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 87SC/GTClick Here to Email 87SC/GTSend a Private Message to 87SC/GTDirect Link to This Post
I worked at Gateway (NSC) years ago and the "Anykey call" was a daily thing. It was compounded by the choice of GW to call their deluxe keyboard the "AnyKey" . It was printed right on it. Drove those customers nuts. I have to agree with GT on the terminology. Most of the folks were just uninformed. Only about 5% were just natural born MORONS!
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Report this Post03-16-2000 12:51 AM Click Here to See the Profile for GT BastardClick Here to visit GT Bastard's HomePageClick Here to Email GT BastardSend a Private Message to GT BastardDirect Link to This Post
I don't mind dealing with the un-informed so much as long as they are respectful. Raydar, I know what you mean. I usually get an attitude when they start acting like d!ckheads. It's like, "you called ME for help, and now your being an ass???!!!" Then there are those who think they already know what the problem is.... One call in particular: This guy was having an occasional lockup(once or twice a week) while he did some Autocad stuff. The guy was like, "I've been working with computers since 1985 and when I see a problem like this, I can tell that it's a bad stick of memory or a defective motherboard." I was so amazed at his stupidity that I didn't know what to say. I tried explaining that it's NORMAL for a system to lockup occasionally, and that there are things we can try(closing programs running in the background... updating video drivers etc...) and he started giving me crap about like I didn't know what I was doing! I even told him he can review and article on Microsofts website(in the technet database) that specifically says it's not unusual for a computer to lockup in the windows environment. He thought I was lying.... I ended getting my supervisor on the phone and he told the guy the same thing. The guys kept arguing that he doesn't use the computer anymore because it's useless. HAR HAR HAR....
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DJRice
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Report this Post03-16-2000 09:03 AM Click Here to See the Profile for DJRiceClick Here to Email DJRiceSend a Private Message to DJRiceDirect Link to This Post
I worked for Radio Shack for 4 years while in college....And I have heard the "Any Key" question several times.

There was this one guy who bought a PC and he brought it back one day because the whole thing was dead...I had it repaired and it turned out to be a bad power supply. One week later, the PC is back. I send it to repair, same problem...power supply. About two weeks later, the PC returns with the same problem, so I fix it again, but at this point hes telling me that this PC is a piece of dung and very mad and I knew that there was another problem because you just dont kill 3 power supplies in a row. So I ask him what he does with the computer. Turns out that he was using it for his Welding Business (in an old building) and had the computer next to a wall with a welder on the other side but didnt feel like spending the extra $10 on a surge protector.

Duh. (but Im an electrical engineer)

The funniest thing, however, are those people who think the new cell phone they bought doesnt work because they never hear a dialtone.

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DJRice
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Report this Post03-16-2000 09:07 AM Click Here to See the Profile for DJRiceClick Here to Email DJRiceSend a Private Message to DJRiceDirect Link to This Post

DJRice

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Heres another good story about an idiot, but unrelated to computers....

A local toll booth center has recently been equiped with speed sensing devices so they can tell if you are speeding through the "E-pass" lane (an electronic toll debit system).

So one day this guy gets a letter from the police with a picture of his car speeding through the toll booth and a ticket for $40.
So being cute, he sends the picture and ticket back, with a picture of $40.

The police sent him back a picture of some handcuffs.....

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Deer_Slayer
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Report this Post03-17-2000 08:52 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Deer_SlayerClick Here to Email Deer_SlayerSend a Private Message to Deer_SlayerDirect Link to This Post
You forgot one. There is a child's stroller with a warning label that reads:

" Be sure to remove child before putting away for storage. "


I feel sorry for that kid! A poor innocent victim of stupidity.

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RFMike
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Report this Post03-17-2000 03:20 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RFMikeClick Here to Email RFMikeSend a Private Message to RFMikeDirect Link to This Post
At one point in my life I was a combined architect/ drafter/ designer/ CAD manager/ network administrator. Yes, a small architectural firm. Against my advice, the partners hired a woman that claimed to have drawn the Duluth hospital construction drawings, using "Autocad IBM". This should have been their first clue, as there is no such software title, but she needed a job, and these two guys were easy. She did have nads- the day after the interview, she showed up with her stuff, and said ,"Where do I sit?", even though they hadn't given the job to her.
It soon became apparent that she was full of it. She not only couldn't draw a line in Acad, she couldn't open a program, copy a file, or search through a directory, or even remember her own login password from one day to the next.
"But I don't need a password."
"Yes you do."
"Why?"
"For security reasons."
"But the doors have good locks."
...
To make matters worse, she didn't know much about architecture, either.
Being a guy that likes a challenge, and feeling sorry for her, I decided to do my best for her. And don't go leaping to conclusions- she was from eastern Europe, smelled bad, 5'-8" and probably 240#, with the personality of a crocodile from Transylvania, which is where she said she was from.
I had worked with a lot of kids right out of Vo-Tech that had a lot to learn, and I had done pretty well. I thought this would be the same.
Wrong! It became immediately apparent that this would be difficult, but now my pride was on the line. I spent at least 150 hours of my own time (couldn't be billed to a job or client), trying to teach her. It pains me still to admit it, but I couldn't do it. When the partners told her they had to let her go, she blamed it all on me, and my inability to teach her. They knew, of course, that was a line, but that really showed what kind of person she was.

Moral of the story: some people really are stupid, and can't be helped, no matter how hard you try.

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olympic
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Report this Post03-17-2000 03:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for olympicClick Here to Email olympicSend a Private Message to olympicDirect Link to This Post
Heres another good story about an idiot......

Some toll booth centers have recently been equiped with speed sensing devices so they can tell if you are speeding through the "E-pass" lane (an electronic toll debit system).

So one day this guy gets a letter from the police with a picture of his car speeding through the toll booth and a ticket for $40. So being cute, he sends the picture and ticket back, with a picture of $40. The police sent him back a picture of some handcuffs.....

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DRH
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Report this Post03-17-2000 04:04 PM Click Here to See the Profile for DRHClick Here to Email DRHSend a Private Message to DRHDirect Link to This Post
RFMike,

Ignorance is curable... Stupidity isn't...

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fierospeeder
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Report this Post03-18-2000 12:38 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierospeederClick Here to visit fierospeeder's HomePageClick Here to Email fierospeederSend a Private Message to fierospeederDirect Link to This Post
i got in trouble at my dads work for another college kid quiting and blaiming me for harassment because he was to lazy to work 40 hours a week.

Im going into computers as a career, but i have helped a lot of people on the phone or online, and sometimes its impossible. The people that do tech support must be strong individuals to deal with people. There are a lot of idiots in the world.

One question, are apples , i mean mac, easier to use computers for the simple minded? I know its easier to put the computers together, but is it still as hard to work on as getting rid of the 12:00 o'clock flash on a vcr?

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theogre
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Report this Post03-19-2000 10:09 PM Click Here to See the Profile for theogreClick Here to visit theogre's HomePageSend a Private Message to theogreDirect Link to This Post
I've been fixing thing for cash for more years than I wnat to count right now.

I don't mind the truely stupid. I hate the truely stupid that try to pretend they aren't. There's a little thing called a$shole tax for them..... Geeze man, It's really hard to get parts for this........ Going to be at least a week........

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Report this Post03-21-2000 11:43 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Deer_SlayerClick Here to Email Deer_SlayerSend a Private Message to Deer_SlayerDirect Link to This Post
If you really want to see some clueless people, go into one of the Teen chatrooms on Yahoo. I was talking to a 14 year old girl one time (no involvement) and part on the conversation went like this:


Myself : Where are you from?
Chick : Connecticuit, u?
Myself : West Virginia
Chick : Is that in England?
Myself : No, US.
Chick : Huh?
Myself : United States
Chick : Oh
Chick : Do you drive?
Myself : Sure do.
Chick : I wish I could
Myself :You will eventually (I could see
more business for Kick Hill Farm)
Chick : I'll be 15 soon and I'll get me
learners.
Myself : Well there you go
Chick : Huh?

Big dreams, small thoughts.

There are many people out there that could use an intelligence adjustor on their computers. Even though there is a brightness adjuctior already present, I doesn't seem to work

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fierospeeder
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Report this Post03-21-2000 01:16 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierospeederClick Here to visit fierospeeder's HomePageClick Here to Email fierospeederSend a Private Message to fierospeederDirect Link to This Post
I use to be on aol and going into the chatrooms was always interesting. You met all kinds of people. I think i used the term aoltrash to much in the rooms. A lot of married women are on there looking for something better. A lot of guys are looking for dates, and when you fight with someone online, you notice the lack of intelligence they have, even if they are 30 years old or younger.
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RICK
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Report this Post03-23-2000 11:36 AM Click Here to See the Profile for RICKClick Here to Email RICKSend a Private Message to RICKDirect Link to This Post
Sometimes you just have to wonder about some people. I teach industrial electricity, one day I had some students doing some wiring on the building, one of them was on a ladder with his head up in the drop ceiling. He looks down at me and say’s “Rick... this wire nut is smoking, what should I do? Well before I could tell him to get off the ladder the wire nut literally exploded and the show of sparks rained down. It kind of make’s you wonder sometimes. I always tell my students (as a joke) “Remember…Don’t like the wires”
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