This picture reminds me of an old joke: What is sex like when you're 80 years old??
It's like trying to shoot pool with a rope. 
My philosophy......
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple
pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the S.O.B. upside the head...
Some things you shouldn't say during sex....
1) is it in?
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>2) that's it?
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>3) you've got to be kidding me.
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>4) (phone rings) hello? oh nothing and you?
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>5) do I have to pay for this?
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>6) do I have to call you tomorrow?
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>7) oh momma, momma!
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>8) oh daddy, daddy!
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>9) you look better in the dark.
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>10) this is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.
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>11) I thought that goes in the other hole....
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>12) don't tell my husband/wife.
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>13) you have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it).
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>14) this sucks.
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>15) can you finish now? I have a meeting...
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>16) I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
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>17) I think you might get the job for this.
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>18) damn! is that all you know what to do.
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>19) did I tell you, I have herpes?
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>20) now we must get married.
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>21) hurry up, the games about to start.
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>22) I'm hungry.
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>23) I'm thirsty.
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>24) zzzzzzzzzzzz.
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>25) are you trying to be funny?
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>26) can I have a ride home after this?
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>27) are those real?
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>28) by the way, I want to break up.
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>29) is that smell coming from you?
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>30) haven't you ever done this before?
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>31) wow!! I've never seen those before (then grope wildly).
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>32) do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
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>33) you're so much like your sister....
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>34) your mom's cute.
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>35) what's your name again?
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>36) do I have to be here in the morning?
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>37) a second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
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>38) but you just started!!
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>40) don't touch that!!
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>41) can we order a pizza?
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>42) I think my dad is listening at the door.
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>43) smile for the camera, honey!!!
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>44) take off that damn monkey glove!!
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>45) get your hand out of there!!
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>46) I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
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>47) I knew you wore a padded bra!!
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>48) cover me boys, I'm going in!!!
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>49) DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
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>50) Fire one!
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>51) God, that is small!!
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>52) hold on, let me change the channel...
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>53) who smells like fish?
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>54) is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
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>55) your best-friend does it much better.
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>56) hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
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>57) hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
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>58) you're fogging up the wind-shield.
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>59) can I borrow 5 bucks?
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>60) what the hell noise was that?!
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>61) stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
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>62) shut up, b****! (worse if the girl says it)
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>63) you know, you're not really attractive.
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>64) I'm sorry, I was not listening.
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>65) what, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!
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>66) stop interrupting me!!
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>68) did I leave the iron on?
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>69) your breath is funky.
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>70) (start singing Green Day).
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>71) is it o.k. if I call someone, its o.k. though, keep going....
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>72) its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
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>73) god I wish you were a real woman.
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>74) why can't you ever shave your legs?
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>75) by the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog....
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>76) oh Susan, Susan... I mean donna....
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>77) your breast milk is like my mom's....
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>78) you're hairy!!
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>79) your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
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>80) is it o.k. if I never see you again?
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>81) did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat?
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>82) don't make that face at me!
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>83) all of a sudden I have a headache.
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>84) you're boring.
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>87) how much do I owe you?
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>88) How come we each have a penis?
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>89) of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'll kill me!
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>90) your ass is hairy (the guy says this).
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>91) just use your finger, its bigger.
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>92) does your family have to watch?
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>93) we'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
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>94) get off me, I'll do it myself!!!!
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>95) can you hold this sandwich for me?
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>96) you're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.
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>97) the only reason I'm doing this is because I'm drunk.
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>98) my mom taught me this.....
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>99) how cute... peach fuzz!
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>100) Damn girl! my breasts are bigger than your's!
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>101) should I ask why you're bleeding?
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>102) this is my pet rat, Larry....
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>103) if you can't do it, I'll find someone else who can!
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>104) I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
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>105) I was once a woman...
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>106) wanna see me take out my glass eye?
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>107) no I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!!
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>108) is it o.k. if I tell my friends about this?
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>109) I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
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>110) you wanted me to use a condom?
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>111) you're no better than my brother!!
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>112) mooooo!!
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>113) Fire in the hole!!!
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>114) I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.
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>115) hurry up, I'm late for a date.
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>116) o.k. start...oh! that feels so... YOU'RE DONE??!!
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>117) you ever see basic instinct?
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>118) I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
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>119) don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
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>120) Did I tell you where my cold sore came from?
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>121) you got boogies showing.
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>122) (start reciting the 10 commandments).
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>124) of course I don't love you.
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>125) let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h m-i-n-t
[This message has been edited by olympic (edited 03-04-2000).]
