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Who wants to be a Millionaire??!! by olympic
Started on: 02-16-2000 12:31 AM
Replies: 4
Last post by: Cliff Pennock on 02-16-2000 02:31 PM
olympic
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Report this Post02-16-2000 12:31 AM Click Here to See the Profile for olympicClick Here to Email olympicSend a Private Message to olympicDirect Link to This Post
REGIS PHILBIN: Welcome to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", the dramatic hit quiz show that has all America on the edge of its seat wondering how, exactly, I became famous in the first place. Let's get started with some irritating theme music!
MUSIC: BOM BOM BOM BOMMM!
REGIS: To select our first contestant, we're going to ask our 10 finalists to rank these four things in order of how much you would not want them inserted deep into your ear: (A) A lima bean; (B) A spider; (C) A harmonica: (D) Rosie O'Donnell.
MUSIC: DEEDEEDEEDEEDEEDEE
FINALISTS: (shouting over the music): Did you say "ear" or "rear"?
REGIS: Too late! The correct answer is: "(E) It depends on what kind of spyder." Our winner is..... Walter Gweemble of Toledo, Ohio! Come on out here Walter!
(Walter runs out and shakes hands violently with Regis.)
REGIS: So Walter, tell us about yourself.
WALTER: Well, Regis, I'm.....
REGIS: Nobody cares, Walter. What loved one have you brought along so that we can heighten the drama by showing his or her reaction as tension mounts?
WALTER: Regis, I brought my dog, Boomer. (Boomer wags his tail.)
REGIS: OK! Let's play for a MILLION DOLLARS!
MUSIC: DUMDUMDUMDUMDUMDUM!
REGIS: Here we go. For $100, which of the following letters is NOT really a letter? (A)"A";(B)"B"; (C)"C"; or (D) The Grand Canyon.
MUSIC:AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOO
(Walter frowns with deep concentration.)
MUSIC: OOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE REGIS: God this is dramatic, isn't it?
(The reaction camera shows Boomer who is engaged in the act of personal hygiene.)
MUSIC: OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA
WALTER: Regis, I am just not sure what the answer is. But I am really getting off on calling you Regis, Regis.
REGIS: As you know, Walter, you have three lifelines: You can poll the audience; you can phone a friend; or you can have me shout the correct answer out loud, like this: "IT'S, 'D', YOU MORON!"
WALTER: Regis, I'm going to call my mother.
REGIS: We're getting her on the line now. (sound of phone ringing.)
WALTER'S MOTHER: Hello?
REGIS: Mrs. Gweemble, this is Regis Philbin, with ABC's "Who wants to be a millionaire"!
WALTER'S MOTHER: I told you damn people a million times, we don't want MCI.
WALTER: Mom! It's me! Walter!
WALTER'S MOTHER: Walter?
WALTER: Yes!
WALTER'S MOTHER: You call your mother during 'THE X-FILES'?? (click)
WALTER: Mom?
REGIS: Walter, please give your final answer, so I can ask you if your final answer is in fact your final answer. I get paid $25, 000 for every time I say "final answer".
MUSIC: OOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE
WALTER: Gosh, Regis, I just don't.... (He looks over at Boomer, who is drawing a "D" on the floor with his paw.) Regis, I'm going to say.... "D".
REGIS: Is that your final answer? Final answer? Final answer?
WALTER: Regis, yes.
REGIS: "D" is correct! You've won $100!
MUSIC: BOM BOM BOM BA-DOMMMMMM
(Walter collapses. The audience cheers wildly. Boomer makes a Weewee of triumph on the studio floor.)
REGIS: Whew! Talk about drama! Only 14 more questions to go for a MILLION DOLLARS! Are you nervous Walter?
WALTER: Well, Regis, I.....
REGIS: Shut up. Your next question , for $200, is: How many legs are there on a standard cow? (A) None; (B) One; (C) More than one; (D) The grand Canyon.
MUSIC: OOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE
REMOTE: CLICK!

[This message has been edited by olympic (edited 02-16-2000).]

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Monkeyman
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Report this Post02-16-2000 05:34 AM Click Here to See the Profile for MonkeymanSend a Private Message to MonkeymanDirect Link to This Post
ROTFL!!!
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dogtired
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Report this Post02-16-2000 06:58 AM Click Here to See the Profile for dogtiredClick Here to Email dogtiredSend a Private Message to dogtiredDirect Link to This Post
Boomer
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Raydar
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Report this Post02-16-2000 10:20 AM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarDirect Link to This Post
You were watching too?!?
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Cliff Pennock
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Report this Post02-16-2000 02:31 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Cliff PennockClick Here to visit Cliff Pennock's HomePageClick Here to Email Cliff PennockSend a Private Message to Cliff PennockDirect Link to This Post
ROFLMAO!

We have the dutch version of this program here in Holland (it's called Weekend Millionaire) and I swear, sometimes they pick contenders whose shoesize is the same as their IQ!

("Who's life is portrayed in the movie: 'The Bruce Lee Story'?"
"Errrr... I would like to call my brother in law, he's a real movie-buff")

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