nah, I dont feel trapped per se. And like I said she has not said anything like I have to get rid of my things or anything. We just have different time lines in our heads. But shes not trying to shanghai me or anything... I dont think.
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06:29 PM
CaravanBill Member
Posts: 277 From: Portland, OR Registered: Aug 2009
Her asking you to change should be a red flag. The rush to get engaged is another red flag. She may be awesome in every other respect but what I am hearing sounds like a reason to think very carefully about it. Her insecurities are manifesting themselves in controlling behavior. These are classic signs.
She can change, but she will have to face this with your help.
I hope you don't mind me being so bold about this but I know you are a good guy and I think you deserve a good woman who not only respects your hobbies and choices but encourages you to pursue them or whatever it is that makes you happy.
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07:16 PM
Jul 25th, 2010
meet_my_grandma Member
Posts: 289 From: South Carolina Registered: Aug 2009
A girl i used to date pulled this automatum opn me while out driving in my fiero one time... i though she was joking but when she said whe was serious she ended up taking a bus home.
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02:20 PM
Hockaday Member
Posts: 2165 From: Clifton Park, New York, The States. Registered: Sep 2009
A girl i used to date pulled this automatum opn me while out driving in my fiero one time... i though she was joking but when she said whe was serious she ended up taking a bus home.
They still make women...Fiero production stopped in 88...
------------------ Cliff's 610th Positive Feedback Giver. #12 NYFOC Member In recent times, the custom aftermarket car/automobile roadwheel has become a status symbol. These wheels are often incorrectly referred to as "rims". The term "rim" is incorrect because the rim is only the outer portion of a wheel (where the tire is mounted
i can't imagine even having a '"me or the car'" conversation with my lady. My cars are my hobby, my therapy and have kept me out of more arguments than they've caused. Working on the car is a kind of Zen-like "Karate Kid" thing with me and any woman who doesn't recognize that aspect of my personality doesn't know me well enough to share my life anyway.
I adore my baby to death BUT she wouldn't want to deal with a Doni who didn't have an outlet.
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11:52 PM
Jul 26th, 2010
fieroguy123 Member
Posts: 1523 From: Indianapolis Registered: Sep 2009
i can't imagine even having a '"me or the car'" conversation with my lady. My cars are my hobby, my therapy and have kept me out of more arguments than they've caused. Working on the car is a kind of Zen-like "Karate Kid" thing with me and any woman who doesn't recognize that aspect of my personality doesn't know me well enough to share my life anyway.
I adore my baby to death BUT she wouldn't want to deal with a Doni who didn't have an outlet.
Ding! We have a winner! I have never understood why people don't get to know each other before they get married... if you have to refer to your spouse or significant other as the "Ol' Ball & Chain" and actually mean it, why would you continue the relationship in the first place...
quote
Originally posted by pontiackid86:
A girl i used to date pulled this automatum opn me while out driving in my fiero one time... i though she was joking but when she said whe was serious she ended up taking a bus home.
Oh, aren't you a toughguy... Ultimatum is the word you are looking for.
[This message has been edited by carbon (edited 07-26-2010).]
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01:20 PM
Rallaster Member
Posts: 9105 From: Indy southside, IN Registered: Jul 2009
So find a girl that has a fiero already!! lol... won't be any question of her or the fiero!!
Yes, they are out there... my daughter is one of them... and yes, she has plenty of hobbies besides the fiero, like anime, and manga, and blu-rays and dvds...and books!! She has amassed quite a collection!!
Is she of legal age and single?
J/K I'm in a happy relationship now and up until about 15 minutes ago she really didn't like Fiero's and truth be told, she's still not a fan of it(she dislikes it less), but that's because it sits so low. The thing that really changed her mind about it was the pics of the show on the Frazee thread. Show your GF the pics from Frazee and her mind should be changed.
From the Frazee show.......MY NEXT PROJECT!! And I don't anticipate hearing a single comment about it beyond "When are you coming to bed, Baby?" Dang! That sho' is purdy!!
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05:07 PM
PFF
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Jul 27th, 2010
Rallaster Member
Posts: 9105 From: Indy southside, IN Registered: Jul 2009
From the Frazee show.......MY NEXT PROJECT!! And I don't anticipate hearing a single comment about it beyond "When are you coming to bed, Baby?" Dang! That sho' is purdy!!
Looks like an excessive PITA to work on though...
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12:08 AM
Amethyst Member
Posts: 946 From: Danville, IL, USA Registered: Jul 2005
J/K I'm in a happy relationship now and up until about 15 minutes ago she really didn't like Fiero's and truth be told, she's still not a fan of it(she dislikes it less), but that's because it sits so low. The thing that really changed her mind about it was the pics of the show on the Frazee thread. Show your GF the pics from Frazee and her mind should be changed.
She most certainly is!! She's 25... her user name on here is Tsukiko
Having met both your girlfriend, and your Fiero, I would have a tough decision too! I honestly think if a gal ever gave me a serious ultimatum, I would be very tempted to keep the car. I think you both are very smart, wonderful people. You'll figure things out without any dramatic ending I suspect.
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03:08 AM
Finally_Mine_86_GT Member
Posts: 4809 From: Hyde Park, New York Registered: Sep 2006
My wife realized really quick that i'm gone in a heart beat if she ever gave me that ultimatum. Yeah she rules the house and me. yeah i'm whipped a bit. BUT... With my fiero, my foot goes down and there is no stopping it. She tried once... once... she realized it was a bad idea when i had my bags packed by the time she got home from work. Almost didn't catch me on my way out. Look at statistics. there are more women then men out there. A woman is not a hard thing to find, a good fiero on the other hand....
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08:07 AM
fieroguy123 Member
Posts: 1523 From: Indianapolis Registered: Sep 2009
Man, let me first state that I have been married, divorced, and remarried. I am a father, twice so far. I have had good times and bad. Fieros have been a source of joy and pain. You have asked for advice or opinions on your situation. While I don't know your whole situation, I will give my opinion based on what you have said.
quote
Originally posted by thedrue: She is also in more of a rush for an engagement, I'm happy to take my time. But we have been dating for almost 3 years.
I started reading the thread and hit this point. At first I thought "me or car", pitch her to the curb. Then I looked at all your posts and now I see this as a little different.
She is ready to move this up to the next level after 3 years of dating and you aren't. Do you take the same kind of time to make a decission about working on the car or upgrading a part? Probably not. She feels less important then the car when you keep her waiting and go get busy with the car. Why aren't you engaged yet? Busy spending on car parts and not a ring?
Think about this. You can tell her you love her and all that, but what do you show her? I know people say things like "earning money for us" and "fixing things around the house are my responsiblilites", but you would have these if you were single, dating or married. Don't take things that are responsibilites and make them "things I do for you/her". That is BS. By the same token, she would have to cook if she were single.
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Originally posted by thedrue: Its just hard to be thinking about the future and stuff and she can be very supportive and yes she does look very good washing my baby!
Why is it hard to think of the future? Is it because she is supportive or takes care of the baby? This makes no sense. What are we missing?
Is this your baby or your baby together? If it is just your kid and she is a step mom, you should kiss the ground she walks on. My second wife has always treated my son as her own. Not many people do that. She doesn't treat him different now that we have a child together either. If this is your kid together, what is stopping you from making her an honest woman if you truely love her? I don't think you should marry her just because you have a child together, but if you love her, why not? Have you ever heard the saying "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" I can bet money that she has. How should that make her feel after 3 years? Someone made a comment about her trapping you and to run away. Sounds more like she has been patient with you and given you space.
quote
Originally posted by thedrue: Incidently the reason she hates my car so much is cause it is where I go to feel safe and comfy after she finds something else wrong with me.
So... you go all fetal in your car when you get yelled at? When did we, as men, quit solving problems and start to whine about everything? Was it when the US Government made public schools give out "participation ribbons" at school so that no kids have to feel like losers? That way when they grow up, they don't understand why they didn't get the job they wanted? There are winners and losers in the world, someone has to clean toilets. Grow a sack dude and go talk to your girl. If you are serious, get her a ring. If you aren't serious, grow a sack and cut her loose. It isn't fair to EITHER of you if you both aren't in it for the long haul. I hope you understand that I have been in this position too.
Good luck to BOTH of you (and your kid who is in the middle of all this).
Man, let me first state that I have been married, divorced, and remarried. I am a father, twice so far. I have had good times and bad. Fieros have been a source of joy and pain. You have asked for advice or opinions on your situation. While I don't know your whole situation, I will give my opinion based on what you have said.
So... you go all fetal in your car when you get yelled at? When did we, as men, quit solving problems and start to whine about everything? Was it when the US Government made public schools give out "participation ribbons" at school so that no kids have to feel like losers? That way when they grow up, they don't understand why they didn't get the job they wanted? There are winners and losers in the world, someone has to clean toilets. Grow a sack dude and go talk to your girl. If you are serious, get her a ring. If you aren't serious, grow a sack and cut her loose. It isn't fair to EITHER of you if you both aren't in it for the long haul. I hope you understand that I have been in this position too.
Good luck to BOTH of you (and your kid who is in the middle of all this).
Great post! I was all set to give advice but your post is spot on. To me, a Fiero is a material thing whereas a mate is hard to find and isn't a possession but hopefully the person you can talk to, dream with and share life's experiences. I like my Fiero with the 3800SC/4t65eHD but I find solace with my wife and not in my cold garage sitting alone in the Fiero. MulletproofMonk's advice is the best I have seen here. Listen to him.
[This message has been edited by starlightcoupe (edited 09-30-2010).]
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06:16 PM
aNgeLeyez Member
Posts: 209 From: Hulki's House, PA Registered: Sep 2010
Im a girl, but if she does that to a guy. Let me just tell you that she is not worth it. But if I had a boyfriend, I wouldnt be that annoying to my boyfriend if he has a car. Ditch her.
Puhleeeeease.... the hard part isn't getting the girl to not mind Fieros, it's when that fourth or fifth car appears in the driveway... I have never had a tougher sale than trying to get her to understand 1 car is simply not enough
She has since come to terms with it hehe
Hang in there, women are tough to calculate but great to have around
------------------ BAZOOKAFIERO's Junk "By now you can clearly tell Operation Poprocks 1 or originally Poprock, has failed, and due to time shortage we shall just attach a 2 behind Poprocks since, ahum, we all thought Operation Poprocks was fail proof and yet again humanity is on the brink of insanity."
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06:46 PM
jimbolaya Member
Posts: 10652 From: Virginia Beach, Virginia Registered: Feb 2007
So find a girl that has a fiero already!! lol... won't be any question of her or the fiero!!
Yes, they are out there... my daughter is one of them... and yes, she has plenty of hobbies besides the fiero, like anime, and manga, and blu-rays and dvds...and books!! She has amassed quite a collection!!
quote
Originally posted by aNgeLeyez:
Im a girl, but if she does that to a guy. Let me just tell you that she is not worth it. But if I had a boyfriend, I wouldnt be that annoying to my boyfriend if he has a car. Ditch her.
Thank you Amethyst and aNgeLeyez....I completely agree. It's amazing how few girls chimed in on this. The best relationship is built based on mutual respect. Without that, any relationship is destined to fail or at least be a miserable venture. Basically, if she doesn't respect your hobby, be it Fieros or stamp collecting, she doesn't respect you and the basis of your relationship is lost.
Dump her and find someone who respects you....but, the feeling has to be mutual.
[This message has been edited by SKIDMARK (edited 09-30-2010).]
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07:40 PM
Tony Kania Member
Posts: 20794 From: The Inland Northwest Registered: Dec 2008
Hey folks, people vent. . Thedrue is a great guy. . He is currently engaged. To a wonderful woman I might add. (OP was a while back.) . When refering to "my baby", he is actually refering to his turboed Fiero.
Just wanted to throw out a few facts. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...
[This message has been edited by Tony Kania (edited 09-30-2010).]
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08:06 PM
aNgeLeyez Member
Posts: 209 From: Hulki's House, PA Registered: Sep 2010
Originally posted by SKIDMARK: Thank you Amethyst and aNgeLeyez....I completely agree. It's amazing how few girls chimed in on this. The best relationship is built based on mutual respect. Without that, any relationship is destined to fail or at least be a miserable venture. Basically, if she doesn't respect your hobby, be it Fieros or stamp collecting, she doesn't respect you and the basis of your relationship is lost.
Dump her and find someone who respects you....but, the feeling has to be mutual.
Good idea. And anytime I might be a girl but I can still chime in on these things, right?
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08:12 PM
Amethyst Member
Posts: 946 From: Danville, IL, USA Registered: Jul 2005
Good idea. And anytime I might be a girl but I can still chime in on these things, right?
Yes, because sometimes men need to have a female perspective... they may not understand it, but it might clear up a few things for them when they see it in a different perspective!!
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10:36 PM
Erik Member
Posts: 5625 From: Des Moines, Iowa Registered: Jul 2002
So, my 2 cents. My fiero has been in the shop since May (only way of getting around) and my girlfirend has been my taxi driver everywhere. Were both in college and I live 30 min from her and 45 from school. She love me just as much as if the car was done, it may have some rough spots but its all worth it. Matt
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11:33 PM
PFF
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jconnor34 Member
Posts: 494 From: morton, il 61550 Registered: Oct 2005
As for an actual response, it appears this thread hasn't been relevant for awhile, but its an interesting topic none the less.
Will your car leave you for someone more appealing? Will your car get angry if you stay out too late? Will your car stop talking to you if you lie to it?
Your Fiero is no replacement for actual social contact, but in the end of the day when your tired, broke, smell bad, irritable, who is more likely to be there, your car, or your woman?
Find a good woman who excepts you for you, they are out there, just not always the ones you pick first. Enjoy life, its too short to be miserable, or sitting there hearing someone complain about your car.
I had a girlfriend constantly complaining about how much I spent time/money on my car. As a result I cut back on such things, but it was never enough. Finally she turned out to have other 'interests' besides me. Could it have been a result of my car obsession (I'll admit it), maybe, but I've never said, "dang that chick spends so much time on facebook, I'm going to sleep around".... I digress, now I have a new girlfriend who is fine with my car, and how much time/money I spend on it. We are very happy and get along great. I've recently been considering getting a second one and she is totally fine and supportive about it. Things are going pretty well.
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01:09 PM
fierochic1 Member
Posts: 105 From: Paducah, KY 42003 Registered: Nov 2001
So find a girl that has a fiero already!! lol... won't be any question of her or the fiero!!
Yes, they are out there... my daughter is one of them... and yes, she has plenty of hobbies besides the fiero, like anime, and manga, and blu-rays and dvds...and books!! She has amassed quite a collection!!
I completely agree! I finally found a husband that at least accepts my cars! I wouldn't have ever married anyone that couldn't let me have my Fieros!
------------------ Jennifer Lindsey Green "Fierochic" since 1989! ASE Certified Automotive Parts Specialist President, Mid America Fieros Still Driving Excitement - Every Single Day! Please visit my personal webpage at www.fierochic.com and our club's webpage at www.midamericafieros.com
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01:57 PM
aNgeLeyez Member
Posts: 209 From: Hulki's House, PA Registered: Sep 2010
Yes, because sometimes men need to have a female perspective... they may not understand it, but it might clear up a few things for them when they see it in a different perspective!!
Thank you
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05:27 PM
kevin Member
Posts: 2722 From: Elk Grove, CA USA Registered: Jan 2000
Fellas, Here is the axiom of life the world over (except in muslim countries/cultures): The women ALWAYS wants to change the man, The man ALWAYS wants the women to stay the same.
Maybe all of us can help you decide what is best. You got a picture of her?
Ultimatum is the word you are looking for. 
hehe
You are talking about the future wife of a friend of mine. But, moron that later...
