How to change your oil? depends if your a male or female.
Oil Change instructions formen: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 Total $21.00
Oil Change instructions for Men: 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00. 2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive
home. 3) Open a beer and drink it. 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7) Place drain pan under engine. 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9) Give up and use crescent wrench. 10) Unscrew drain plug. 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss. 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off. 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer. 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener. 18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle. 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday. 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 24) Remember drain plug from step 11. 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug. 27) Drink beer. 28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 30) Drink beer. 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame. 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31. 33) Begin cussing fit. 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench. 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob. 36) Beer. 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 38) Beer. 39) Beer. 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 41) Beer. 42) Lower car from jack stands. 43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil. 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43. 45) Beer. 46) Test drive car. 47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 48) Car gets impounded. 49) Call loving wife, make bail. 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent: Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $40.00 Total-- $4165.00
-- But you know the job was done right.
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09:05 PM
PFF
System Bot
Wipe0ut Member
Posts: 1524 From: Mankato, MN Registered: May 2002
If you're going to spend all the time and effort to post something like that, at least make one for men and one for women instead of both for men. Anyone actually read all those steps or just skim the first few lines and read the punch line?
Yes the job was done right, now you cant drive the car for DUI's lol, cause you know you changed the oil every 3,000 so you have 9,000 miles thats 3 DUI's that suspension of license, BUT HEY ATLEAST THE JOB was done right LOL! Nice Post, Gave me a good laugh
Adam
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03:20 AM
soup Member
Posts: 1572 From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Registered: Nov 2001
HAHAHA, that was awesome! What you talking about it belongs in OT? That was completely Fiero related, if that doesnt belong here, then what does? Do all jokes have to be posted in O.T. whether fiero related or not? Not flaming, just curious.
I want to know how much was actually truth too.
------------------ Thanks hallsman!
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04:58 AM
Bazooka Member
Posts: 1301 From: Chicago, IL. Registered: Mar 2001
How to change your oil? depends if you're a male or female.
Oil Change instructions for women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 Total $21.00
4) One week later, ask Man why engine doesn't work anymore - wait while Man discovers the now-missing (formerly untightened) drain plug, explaining the lack of oil and the thrown rod.
Man, some of you guys are so sinicle...buddy just made a joke...take it easy! And were talking about fiero's so it BELONGS HERE! Right on man, I laughed pritty hard!
Who are you, The topic police? Leave the guy alone, It was totally Fiero related, and funny to boot! We need more threads like this! If Cliff thinks its off topic, then thats for him to decide, not us.
------------------ 86' Fiero 2M4, A work in progress, but the potential is there!
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08:18 PM
thismanyfieros Member
Posts: 3468 From: Red Deer, alberta,canada Registered: Dec 2002
Forget that cars even have oil, drive 100,000 miles, then complain that the car has a loss of power and take it to the local dealer, then sell the car and let your hubby buy you a new one.
------------------ [ My Fiero and WhiteFieroGT's Here ] [ 1987 GT - 5 Spd - 69K ] [ El Gauges - C5 Corvette Yellow ] [ Mr.Mikes Seats - FieroGT Floormats ]
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05:00 PM
DL10 Member
Posts: 2350 From: Bloomington IL Registered: Jun 2000
