Start with "Anything that can, will happen"
Great, I need some pertaining to Fieros!

"Anytime your V6 has a quarter tank of gas left, it doesn't."

The likelihood of another Fiero driver waving back at you is equal to that of GM bringing back the Fiero.

The likelyhood of your Fiero breaking down is in direct proportion to your distance from home. It is also in inver-proportion to the number of tools and spare parts that you're carrying with you.

Isn’t leaking oil , isn’t over heating , engine light isn’t on , no codes , and is not using any gas.

walking again

Wicked! keep it up!

Any object(nuts, bolts, wrenches and or sockets) dropped in the vicinity of a fiero will always end up in the most inaccessible erea of said vehicle rendering recovery nearly impossible unless extreme effort and creativity is used to retrieve same. AND This laws effect is exponentialy enhanced when the law that Formula88 mentioned is in effect

[This message has been edited by 84Bill (edited 04-12-2001).]

"There is NO substitute for a claw hammer and a 2x4 when performing repairs"

"If the "Check Engine" light isn't on, replace the bulb"

"If you can fit your luggage in the trunk, check the road behind you. Your engine has just fallen out"

"You cannot 'repair' a Fiero. To repair is to fix something broken. For it to have been broken, it had to have once worked flawlessly. What you just spend $1500 on was refueling. A Fiero runs on a 13:1 ratio of Gasolene and spare parts"

"If the car is running smoothly, expect a breakdown. Consider that a thrown stone is at it's highest just before it starts falling"

"Murphy would have LOVED Fieros"

"If you dissasemble and reassemble a Fiero enough times, you will have enough leftover parts to build 2 complete Fieros. Neither of which will run"
-> Corralative 1) Unless you 'refuel' it

"There is NOTHING more destructive to a Fiero than an unskilled friend who 'just wants to drive a while'"
-> Corralative 1) Any amount of repairs and upgraded can, and will be deleted by the most light-handed and careful friend
-> Corralative 2) Delicate repairs and upgrades will only disintegrate under heavy use when the owner tries it.

Any more?

When performing maintenance on a Fiero the chances of the part replaced failing are in direct proportion to the amount of time spent replacing said part.

"The cleaner you keep your Fiero, the sooner it will look like crap, because you rubbed through all the clearcoat with years of sponges and wax jobs."

A Fiero at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by a towtruck

"The more innocuous the part, the rarer and more expensive it will be when you finally find it to replace the one the previous owner threw out, and the more points you will lose for the lack of it during a Concours event."

If you drop a bolt, buy another one because the one you dropped will never reach the floor.

Fiero's can never be upgraded, They are always in a state of upgrading.

The time it takes to fix something broken on a Fiero, Is directly proportional to the time spent on the Forum trying to find the correct fix. This is multiplied by the number of posts in the thread.

[This message has been edited by Oreif (edited 04-12-2001).]

If your "getin the eye" while crusin town
you might be on fire.

Fiero engine parts explained

1. Intake Manifold, A device used to suck money out of your wallet
2. Exhaust Manifold, a collection point for carbonized money that usually cracks over time and will nessitate the use of item 1
above
3. Check Engine light, IS Pontiacs highly secret prediction device that when activated will actually predict the observers course of action and breakage of engine components by use of neumaric codes
4. Oil pump, first part OIL a slick substance used to keep road dust down
PUMP the motion of the owners arm when jacking up the car to see where the leak is.
5. Ignition Module, Wallet!
6. Distributer, A device inserted into the engine and is linked to a network of new and used parts dealers and to device 3 above.

This can go on and on
I think I'll take a break and work on my car

The chance that you have a Lotus suspension is equal to that of Keanu Reeves actually knowing Kung Fu.

The chance that anyone will stage a successful rescue mission for the 89 Fiero prototypes is equal to that of Michael Douglas and Katherine Zeta Jones staying married 3 years.

The likelihood of your Fiero breaking down is in direct proportion to how quickly you need to be somewhere.

These chances are doubled when your wife is with you.

These chances are squared when your wife takes the Fiero, by herself.

Tell her not to talk badly about the Fiero.
It knows.

------------------
Raydar - aka Steve

88 T-top Formula
88 soon-to-be-V6 coupe

Fantastic! Let's see If I can make a 100 list!

Always carry a Fire-Extinguisher. "Burning that Mustang beside you at the light" can rapidly become a reality.
*Hey, the stigma's already there... Might as well have some fun with it

You are asking for trouble by naming your Fiero "Ol'Faithful" or "Da Bunsen Burner"

A hot Fiero is not necessarily stolen. Or necessarily a Fiero anymore.

A stranger calling a Fiero "a parts-box car," will have NO idea how right he/she is...

The fastest acceleration ever experienced in a Fiero followed by rapid deceleration in your Fiero means that someone hit you from behind at high speed, and that you just hit that Semi up in front of you.

Fieros USUALLY come in pairs.

quote Originally posted by 84Bill: Any object(nuts, bolts, wrenches and or sockets) dropped in the vicinity of a fiero will always end up in the most inaccessible erea of said vehicle rendering recovery nearly impossible unless extreme effort and creativity is used to retrieve same. AND This laws effect is exponentialy enhanced when the law that Formula88 mentioned is in effect [This message has been edited by 84Bill (edited 04-12-2001).]

YOU STOLE MINE!!! LOL. But I can add to it. You will never able to find the tool/nut/bolt after you drop it, but you will be able to hear it rolling around everytime you make a turn.

This list is great!! And they are soooo true!

Fiero Headlite replacement Short version

1. Disasemble entire vehicle
2. Repair and replace all broken and missing parts
3. Install new headlite
4. Replace and repair all broken and missing parts
5. Reassemble vehicle
6. Replace and repair all broken and missing parts

[This message has been edited by 84Bill (edited 04-13-2001).]

Every time you find a pristine 88 Formula/GT
at a price that is too good to be true.

It's on the other coast!

Fi e ro <F@&#$&@*#$ro> n
1. A device designed to transfer oil from deep in the ground to your driveway.
2. Along with your money.
3. And your sanity.

quote Originally posted by Mach10: You are asking for trouble by naming your Fiero "Ol'Faithful" or "Da Bunsen Burner"

I suppose calling mine "the firebomb" is not good.

Discussing great recent reliability or lack of oil leakage of your Fiero within earshot of abovementioned car will result in the car interpreting this as the owner wanting to do more work on her. The Fiero will then in an effort to keep the owner happy break down, or leak oil whithin 24 hours.

------------------
SCCA Region 72 Race Director
#47 CSP

Our lady of blessed acceleration dont fail me now!

LOL keep 'em comin'!

While replacing the front exhaust manifold gasket the last bolt will break.

If the engine swap you are performing is going well, you have obviously forgotten something.

Some funny stuff.
Love Rex-Hilarious.
If your "gettin the eye" while crusin town
you might be on fire.
Thats gotta be THE Fiero legacy joke. I mean I know it's not true (Is it?) only a few did that. Right?
84Bill- parts explained. Funny, yep funny stuff.
6. Distributer, A device inserted into the engine and is linked to a network of new and used parts dealers and to device 3 above.
Yep pretty funny.
So now my Feiro truism "The more perfect your Fiero is the more likely something will happen to it", sounds pretty lame. Thanks a lot guys.Sheesh!
Though you gotta love MACH10:
The fastest acceleration ever experienced in a Fiero followed by rapid deceleration in your Fiero means that someone hit you from behind at high speed, and that you just hit that Semi up in front of you.
I believe the other night when I ran into "ouch" another car in the rain, I really believe that yes that was the quickest I ever slowed down in my Fiero. Bummer.
But , good jokes men, keep up the good work. Carry on.

If your Fiero runs piss on it then sell the car and buy a garbage can.

Fiero brakes will always stop you - just 2 feet past the point that you will strike another object no matter what the speed.

if it isn't broke---fix it (now) or else suffer!!

You never own just one.

"*Always* disconnect the battery when you are working on your Fiero. Otherwise, it can hear you."

If you replace only one part at a time, the other parts get jealous and break.

The amount of derision other people heap upon your Fiero is inversely proportional to their actual experience with Fieros.

If you praise your Fiero, be sure the car is not within earshot. If it hears you, it will feel secure in your love for it and will break, knowing you won't sell it.

If you carry a fire extinguisher at all times, your Fiero will never catch fire. (9 years and counting...)

The amount of time you have to get to work is inversely proportional to the number of slowpoke a$$holes blocking the left lane. (This works for ALL cars, not just Fieros)