The Joke Thread (Page 4/36)
OldsFiero JUN 02, 08:28 AM
An old one, but a good one.

" What to say when someone tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt:

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.

Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they had Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

- U don't know Jack Schitt
- Yes i do, he's Awe and O. Schitt's son "

Author unknown ( to me ).
maryjane JUN 02, 11:18 AM
Valkrie9 JUN 05, 08:22 AM
cvxjet JUN 05, 05:59 PM
I drew up a cartoon- about overly loud MC riders.....

[This message has been edited by cvxjet (edited 06-05-2022).]

MidEngineManiac JUN 10, 07:30 PM
MidEngineManiac JUN 11, 12:41 AM
Buddy of mine got into the paranormal, and went to check out a haunted whore-house.

Said he wanted to try a ghost box.
Valkrie9 JUN 17, 11:55 AM
The Paddler -
Blew the Turbin -
I think I can !

[This message has been edited by Valkrie9 (edited 06-17-2022).]

MidEngineManiac JUL 07, 05:08 AM
Assassination attempted on Biden Saturday. A pretending to be a transgender liberal came up to Biden to shake his hand for doing such a great job as president. Biden’s Secret Service guard frisked the guy to make sure he was clean (meant dirty). They discovered the guy was carrying two full bottles of Head and Shoulders shampoo and immediately arrested him for attempting to off Biden. What is so dangerous about the shampoo you ask? Head and Shoulders removes flakes.
Valkrie9 JUL 20, 01:50 AM

Woody
MidEngineManiac JUL 23, 06:40 PM
After having the 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough since they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his doctor (veterinarian) and told him the he and his wife (cousin) didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure call a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.
A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home and get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it and put it in a empty beer can and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." so he wanted a second opinion and he visited a doctor in Georgia.
That doctor began to speak of a vasectomy, but seeing his patient was from Alabama, he told him to go home and get a cherry bomb light it and put it in a empty beer can and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
Since the second doctor told him of the same procedure of the first doctor he decided that it MUST work. So the man went home, lit the cherry bomb and put it in the beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1,2,3,4,5" at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand….

*This procedure also works in Tennessee, Mississippi, Kentucky, West Virginia, Florida, So. Carolina, Missouri and Arkansas.