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| The Joke Thread (Page 36/36) |
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shemdogg
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MAY 03, 03:57 PM
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shemdogg
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MAY 28, 10:30 PM
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shem
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blackrams
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JUN 22, 07:57 AM
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------------------
Rams
Learning most of life's lessons the hard way. . 
You are only young once but, you can be immature indefinitely.
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Valkrie9
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SEP 12, 07:29 AM
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cliffw
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OCT 01, 03:52 PM
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A man entered the confessional and told his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each other is like getting into each other. You'll never see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box!"
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked toward the poor box. He paused for a moment, then began to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, ran to him and said, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yes, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
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cliffw
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OCT 06, 01:12 PM
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A blond sits down on a plane and starts to read her book but the guy sitting next to her, a lawyer, won’t leave her alone. Finally, he says to her, “Let’s play a game. I’ll ask you a question and if you can’t answer it, you owe me five dollars. Then you ask me a question and I can’t answer it, I owe you a thousand dollars.”
The blond says, “Okay.”
The lawyer says, “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
Without a word, the blond opens her purse, takes out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to him. She then asks, “What goes up the hill on three legs and comes down on two?”
The lawyer thinks about this; he does an internet search; he calls his friends and asks them but he’s stymied and he hands the blond a thousand dollars. She puts it into her purse and goes back to reading. The lawyer says, “Hey! What’s the answer?”
Without a word, the blond opens her purse, takes out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to him.
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cvxjet
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OCT 06, 01:45 PM
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Wait- What is the answer, Cliff? Dang- do I need to send you $5 or $1000....?
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