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| The Joke Thread (Page 34/37) |
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shemdogg
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NOV 03, 09:32 PM
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TheDigitalAlchemist
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DEC 14, 10:23 PM
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shemdogg
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DEC 15, 09:50 AM
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shemdogg
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DEC 15, 12:29 PM
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Valkrie9
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JAN 02, 06:57 PM
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cliffw
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JAN 03, 01:26 PM
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The preacher announced that whoever will donate $100 dollars to the Church could pick the first three Hymms. One lady ponied up and said I will take him, and him, and him.
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cliffw
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JAN 16, 05:55 PM
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Zeb
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JAN 20, 08:28 PM
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So, how cold is it by you? This cold?
It's so cold...
The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
You have to break the smoke off your chimney
You have to open the fridge to heat the house
Your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
People look forward to getting a fever
Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears
I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
Refrigerators are redundant
Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
Prisoners are begging for the electric chair.
Roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the pressure cooker!
A streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Mitchell hung a plaque around his neck...so we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.
I chipped my tooth on my soup.
Dunkin' Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
I actually saw a gangsta pull his pants up.
I'm drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet.
Trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
Cops are tazing themselves.
I farted snowflakes
Even Elsa is bothered by it
I'm thankful for hot flashes
Donald Trump's hair freezes in place.
Miley Cyrus had to put her clothes back on.
I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
The ice cubes in my drink have goose bumps.
It is so cold that a flasher was spotted describing himself to women.
You go outside. Either due to insanity or necessity. You squint because of the glare off of the snow. The wind is so cold it makes your eyes water. The combination of the squinting and eye watering freezes your eyes shut. You desperately try to open them, but quickly come to the conclusion that this will end like natures version of a Saw movie. You either carry on with frozen eyelids and walk into traffic or rip them open, saving yourself but forever unable to blink.
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cliffw
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FEB 01, 03:05 PM
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shemdogg
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FEB 10, 11:33 AM
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