The Joke Thread (Page 13/36)
maryjane FEB 18, 09:39 PM
According to a survey, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are Not Happy.
Valkrie9 FEB 18, 10:49 PM


The largest one, Humpy, he's not happy anymore either, he can't remember, anything.
' Jeremy ', it's nickname, given to him by Snow White, always going at it.
The other six chided him, for not getting any work done in the mine.
' Humpy, if you and your Jeremy don't slow down your schtupping with Snowy, you'll lose your mind eventually. '
' How would you know Stumpy ? '

And so, in the end, the seven dwarves lived out their lives with Snow White in their forest home, happily providing for her.
Happily ever after, in a perfect world, digging diamonds by day.
Digging Snowy by night.
' Groovy Humpy '

Walt Disney 1937.
cvxjet FEB 20, 01:24 AM
OK- just came up with a lame joke;

[This message has been edited by cvxjet (edited 02-20-2023).]

Valkrie9 FEB 20, 04:59 AM
Not Happy.

Close to the Bone
shemdogg FEB 20, 10:17 AM
Why do lesbians only shop at Foot Locker?
Because they don't like Dicks
---------------


What does the sign say at a brothel that's gone out of business?
Beat it. We're closed.
-----------------------

Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.”
Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?”
Son: “Forget it, there seem to be too many requirements.”
----------------------

Two women were fighting bitterly for the last seat on a bus...
The tour guide tried to intervene but it was no use.
Finally, from up the front, the driver said, “Just let the ugly one have it!”
Both women remained standing for the rest of the trip.
--------------------------

A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
-----------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a “Curse” he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says “maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man says without hesitation “‘I now pronounce you man and wife'”.
---------------

Two retired elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ed noticed something funny about Joe's ear.
He said "Joe did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
"I have? A suppository?"
He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said: "Ed, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
------------------------------

Doctor ( to prostitute ): "The problem is with your aviaries."
Prostitute: "Don't you mean ovaries, doctor ?"
Doctor: "No, there's been a cockatoo in there !"
Valkrie9 FEB 21, 05:54 AM

' Day ? It's Happy's day ! '
maryjane FEB 21, 07:54 AM
Lucifer Ornamental Yokum?
Valkrie9 FEB 21, 11:20 AM

Daisy Mae Yokum's Blue Shmoo Savings Bond Drive '42
Exile in Dogpatch
Pappy Yokum, otherwise known as Lucifer Ornamental Yokum Some other things unkown.
From the time I began to learn to read, I always knew Daisy was hot. It's been six decades.
MidEngineManiac FEB 21, 05:04 PM
Bought myself a Ouija board mouse pad.

I'm trying to play solitaire and next thing I know I've summoned 20 demons. Thats not too bad, but the ass holes cheat !

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 02-21-2023).]

Valkrie9 FEB 22, 02:41 AM