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It's been 20yrs, do you love me? by Gecko
Started on: 12-13-2010 03:53 PM
Replies: 54
Last post by: Gecko on 04-05-2011 03:05 PM
Gecko
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Report this Post12-13-2010 03:53 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
Wow. where to begin. I am 38yrs old. While I have been "involved" with a couple, some, many? women... There has always and only been 1 that I have been in love with. That was 20 yrs ago. Through the years I have tried to find her, check up on her etc. All the history is complicated, but the last time I saw her everything was fine, and then nothing, gone...

Through the years I tried finding her,finding out what was going on in her life etc. about 3 times there was a time when I could actually see her, but as life goes... I was far away/another state etc....

a few months ago, I found her again. (and found out she had been looking for me as well). As much as I love her, as much as I wanted to see her, I just didn't do what it took to make that happen. Yes I could have, but I wasn't ready/was scared, whatever you want to call it.

Yesterday. I pushed myself that little bit further and made it happen.

What's harder then finally going to see that person that you really do love?

1 answer. Leaving.

Finances will force me in a matter of a day or so, and I/we will be fine etc.......taking the first step was the important part.

I am probably getting way to personal and will have to edit this later LOL.

This is something I have looked for/wanted for almost 20yrs. I will make this happen......whatever it takes. This girl is the reason for my existence (in a sense) and she is calling now, while I am sitting in the middle of town for 2hrs.......in the cold and its actually snowing. Omg I am probably the techno geek LOL

more to come later or tomorrow LOL
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Report this Post12-13-2010 04:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

Wow. where to begin. I am 38yrs old. While I have been "involved" with a couple, some, many? women... There has always and only been 1 that I have been in love with. That was 20 yrs ago. Through the years I have tried to find her, check up on her etc. All the history is complicated, but the last time I saw her everything was fine, and then nothing, gone...

Through the years I tried finding her,finding out what was going on in her life etc. about 3 times there was a time when I could actually see her, but as life goes... I was far away/another state etc....

a few months ago, I found her again. (and found out she had been looking for me as well). As much as I love her, as much as I wanted to see her, I just didn't do what it took to make that happen. Yes I could have, but I wasn't ready/was scared, whatever you want to call it.

Yesterday. I pushed myself that little bit further and made it happen.

What's harder then finally going to see that person that you really do love?

1 answer. Leaving.

Finances will force me in a matter of a day or so, and I/we will be fine etc.......taking the first step was the important part.

I am probably getting way to personal and will have to edit this later LOL.

This is something I have looked for/wanted for almost 20yrs. I will make this happen......whatever it takes. This girl is the reason for my existence (in a sense) and she is calling now, while I am sitting in the middle of town for 2hrs.......in the cold and its actually snowing. Omg I am probably the techno geek LOL

more to come later or tomorrow LOL



You shoulda done this 20 years ago...

Every year that goes by, she gets older, and that's just one less year of awesome sex.... just sayin...


Anyway I hope it works out for you. Just do it... don't wimp out, the worst that happens is that it doesn't work out and you are no worse off than you were before. The best thing that can happen is... well???

Just don't be overbearing... don't know the situation, but I don't think anyone wants someone to just barge into their life and be all needy and stuff... take it slow, and don't OVER-DO it... let her give you cues...

------------------
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Report this Post12-13-2010 04:15 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickDirect Link to This Post

Don't expect things to be as they were 20 years ago. People change.

Not trying to ruin the occasion... but keep your wits about you.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 04:20 PM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by 82-T/A [At Work]:
You shoulda done this 20 years ago...

Every year that goes by, she gets older, and that's just one less year of awesome sex.... just sayin...




Hmm-I wouldn't say that is always true.

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Report this Post12-13-2010 04:33 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Doni HaganSend a Private Message to Doni HaganDirect Link to This Post
My dad always told me that love affairs are like cigars....they're never as good when you try to relight them.

Remember what Patrick said.... 20 years is a long time and people can change dramatically.

Don't want to be a wet blanket here....just sayin'.

Good luck either way.

[This message has been edited by Doni Hagan (edited 12-13-2010).]

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Report this Post12-13-2010 04:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

What's harder then finally going to see that person that you really do love?



Seeing that there is no longer a place for you in their life.

( don't ask me how i know this )
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Report this Post12-13-2010 05:02 PM Click Here to See the Profile for heybjornClick Here to Email heybjornSend a Private Message to heybjornDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

a few months ago, I found her again. (and found out she had been looking for me as well).


I hope this is a good sign and wish you both the best.

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Report this Post12-13-2010 05:10 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FriendGregoryClick Here to Email FriendGregorySend a Private Message to FriendGregoryDirect Link to This Post
Nothing better than trying to reduce the impact of a regret on the total of your life.
I have my stories, at least one of them did not happen to end happy.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 05:28 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageClick Here to Email FieroRumorSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
I'd focus on the present and future, not discuss 20 years of past relationships and all that stuff...


There was a spark in the past, and a renewed interest - don't rush it, and don't poison it w/ the stuff I mentioned above.

Keep positive


GOOD LUCK!

[This message has been edited by FieroRumor (edited 12-13-2010).]

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Report this Post12-13-2010 05:32 PM Click Here to See the Profile for topcatClick Here to Email topcatSend a Private Message to topcatDirect Link to This Post
Well, now is about as good a time to tell my "love story". We met in high school, and I had the biggest crush on her - ever. Just being near her made me feel, for the lack of a better word, alive. She really had this thing going for her. Her smile, the way she listened, her eyes, her persona. Anyway she was out of my league. She was very popular, drop dead gorgeous and I was the nerdy book worm type - but we were friends. We often hung out after class, did a lot of senior stuff together like events during the class trip, swing night, skate parties, etc... but as already stated we were "just friends".

After graduating we kept in touch, even after I left home for the Air Force, and she went off to college. After about two years we lost touch. I went on to get married and went on with life, but always thought of her, because she was the first love that never happened. My marriage ended and I played the single life for about seven years. One day sitting around the house I cheked out classmates.com, and shear curiosity made me check to see if she was on there. She was. Being 23 years older, and not as shy, I sent her a message.

As it turned out she thought of me often ofter high school and wondered where I was and what became of me.

Long story short after dating for three and a half years she became my wife, and has been for the past six years.

For those that say times change people, you are so right. But it is not always for the worst. I think we are so right together now because time has mellowed us out and the lessons learned from the first marriage prepped me for this one. The one thing that my first marrige taught me was to LISTEN to the things that they do not say. I know we will be together from now until death do we part because of who she is and what she brings out in me.

Everyone is different, but do not let the time be the reason you do not connect.

[This message has been edited by topcat (edited 12-13-2010).]

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Report this Post12-13-2010 05:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for ZebSend a Private Message to ZebDirect Link to This Post
Well, everybody else seems to have the downside covered, so I'll go with the upside. You're both 20 years older, and whatever issues kept you apart so long ago have hopefully gone away.

Continuing on the positive, I had a now ex-coworker (neither of us are with that company any longer) that had a similar story. Lost love, many years apart, he even spent a decade living abroad. Comes back, and finds her again. Last I heard, they were happliy married.

I hope something works out for you. It seems like you need it.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 07:17 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonDirect Link to This Post
I hope things work out for you.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 07:38 PM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneDirect Link to This Post
totally.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 08:11 PM Click Here to See the Profile for NickD3.4Click Here to Email NickD3.4Send a Private Message to NickD3.4Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by topcat:

Well, now is about as good a time to tell my "love story". We met in high school, and I had the biggest crush on her - ever. Just being near her made me feel, for the lack of a better word, alive. She really had this thing going for her. Her smile, the way she listened, her eyes, her persona. Anyway she was out of my league. She was very popular, drop dead gorgeous and I was the nerdy book worm type - but we were friends. We often hung out after class, did a lot of senior stuff together like events during the class trip, swing night, skate parties, etc... but as already stated we were "just friends".

After graduating we kept in touch, even after I left home for the Air Force, and she went off to college. After about two years we lost touch. I went on to get married and went on with life, but always thought of her, because she was the first love that never happened. My marriage ended and I played the single life for about seven years. One day sitting around the house I cheked out classmates.com, and shear curiosity made me check to see if she was on there. She was. Being 23 years older, and not as shy, I sent her a message.

As it turned out she thought of me often ofter high school and wondered where I was and what became of me.

Long story short after dating for three and a half years she became my wife, and has been for the past six years.

For those that say times change people, you are so right. But it is not always for the worst. I think we are so right together now because time has mellowed us out and the lessons learned from the first marriage prepped me for this one. The one thing that my first marrige taught me was to LISTEN to the things that they do not say. I know we will be together from now until death do we part because of who she is and what she brings out in me.

Everyone is different, but do not let the time be the reason you do not connect.


great story.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 08:22 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierowitchSend a Private Message to fierowitchDirect Link to This Post
Nice if it works, but 20 years changes people. I wish you well, and hope it works.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 08:34 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by fierowitch:

Nice if it works, but 20 years changes people. I wish you well, and hope it works.


Yes, 20 years apart changes people in more ways than one can imagine.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 09:15 PM Click Here to See the Profile for phreakboy4Click Here to Email phreakboy4Send a Private Message to phreakboy4Direct Link to This Post
I will post a small version of my my relationship. 21 years ago I was 8 years old. My older sister had a friend that when I first saw a year prior I thought was gorgeous my my now 8 year old self really had a fire going for this girl. She however was nine and my sisters friend so my crush was just that. A short while later they kinda went their separate ways and although through the years we had A LOT of common friends, it just seemed that our paths never crossed. We hung out at the same places, with the same friends, lived a few blocks from each other, and hung out in the same towns but never saw each other. She ended up living her life and having kids. Then 20 years later my parents had their house set on fire and while I was there sifting through the rubble, up comes this girl again, now a very different person yet quite the same. So we start talking little by little on facebook and so one night shes bored at like 10:30 at night so i walk over to play guitar hero and hang out and we just had tons of fun well then I find out that she is going through a separation with her now ex husband. We end up hooking up and have been together for a year and happier than hell. I had never told her how I felt, but after us hanging out that night she ended up coming to me with how she felt and I was kinda stunned since I had been holding this secret crush for twenty years so even though my situation is slightly different, it does show how twenty years can make a difference. But I for one say go for it. It just might turn out to be the best thing you have ever done.
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Report this Post12-13-2010 09:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for ryan.hessClick Here to Email ryan.hessSend a Private Message to ryan.hessDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Wichita:




I don't know what that's a picture of, but I like the title.

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Report this Post12-13-2010 09:48 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonDirect Link to This Post
,

[This message has been edited by Jake_Dragon (edited 12-14-2010).]

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Report this Post12-14-2010 01:04 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Marvin McInnisClick Here to visit Marvin McInnis's HomePageSend a Private Message to Marvin McInnisDirect Link to This Post
I have a good friend, age 67, who in just the past year has reconnected with his high school sweetheart. They went in different directions after high school. My friend has been divorced for 20 years, and her husband died about five years ago. They reconnected at their 50th high school reunion, and they are having a great time together. I love happy endings!
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Report this Post12-14-2010 01:43 AM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneDirect Link to This Post
I saw a similar reconnection tonight near the end of a PBS special on the Lincoln Highway. He's 91--she's 90.
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Report this Post12-14-2010 01:55 AM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by maryjane:

He's 91--she's 90.



Yep, gotta love those younger women!
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Report this Post12-14-2010 02:13 AM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneDirect Link to This Post
I do. Mine's -15 years to my 60.
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Report this Post12-14-2010 07:14 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 8BallClick Here to Email 8BallSend a Private Message to 8BallDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Doni Hagan:

My dad always told me that love affairs are like cigars....they're never as good when you try to relight them.


Nah, you can relight a fine cigar if you do it right and have it taste just fine... you just gotta cut the tip off it.

So that should be all you need to do for this romance... Just whip it out and cut off the tip. Then it will be all new again!




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Report this Post12-14-2010 06:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
I will give a short answer now just to keep this alive. I am back home and exhausted, mentally and physically.

Everything went excellent! Strangely right before I walked out the door she says to me

"Promise me that when you walk out that door you won't look back".

I wasn't sure how exactly to take that. I told her that would be difficult but I would try. She then said that I had to promise, and if I kept my promise and didn't look back, that she would keep the promises she had made to me.

So I managed to pull it off, but it was going through my mind so once I was literally on the way home, we talked on the phone and she said, that she knew that if I looked back, I wouldn't be able to leave, and while she didn't want me to leave, she knew I had to because well there are things that need to be done etc.......its not like I can just suddenly never go back home. Thankfully my leopard gecko had plenty of water/worms LOL

And she just called again (mid-post) to "hear my voice" before I fell asleep.
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Report this Post12-14-2010 06:45 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageClick Here to Email FieroRumorSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
Happy to hear things went well.

Hope you have a great 2011
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Report this Post12-14-2010 06:53 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

I will give a short answer now just to keep this alive. I am back home and exhausted, mentally and physically.

Everything went excellent! Strangely right before I walked out the door she says to me

"Promise me that when you walk out that door you won't look back".

I wasn't sure how exactly to take that. I told her that would be difficult but I would try. She then said that I had to promise, and if I kept my promise and didn't look back, that she would keep the promises she had made to me.

So I managed to pull it off, but it was going through my mind so once I was literally on the way home, we talked on the phone and she said, that she knew that if I looked back, I wouldn't be able to leave, and while she didn't want me to leave, she knew I had to because well there are things that need to be done etc.......its not like I can just suddenly never go back home. Thankfully my leopard gecko had plenty of water/worms LOL

And she just called again (mid-post) to "hear my voice" before I fell asleep.



I'm really happy for you, just remember... take it slow. You don't have to play games... but don't take it TOO fast either. Let this relationship develop normally. Don't make it like she's your wife in under a month... move at a normal pace.

------------------
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2002 Ford Crown Victoria LX
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Report this Post12-14-2010 07:07 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
Ok one last thing for tonight. I know everyone on here loves pics, So here is a quick video clip.

We didn't really plan this, we just did it. So neither of us were really ready/prepared for the camera. Luckily I leave it in my laptop case.

[This message has been edited by Gecko (edited 12-14-2010).]

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Report this Post12-14-2010 09:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

Thankfully my leopard gecko had plenty of water/worms LOL



I'm glad to hear you've kept your priorities straight.

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Report this Post12-14-2010 10:38 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Back On HolidayClick Here to Email Back On HolidaySend a Private Message to Back On HolidayDirect Link to This Post
Sounds like shes married....

Hope it all works out for ya both
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Report this Post12-15-2010 12:12 AM Click Here to See the Profile for litespdSend a Private Message to litespdDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

What's harder then finally going to see that person that you really do love?



Traveling 1100 miles to see them...only to have them refuse to see you, or even acknowledge that you're there.

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Report this Post12-15-2010 12:51 AM Click Here to See the Profile for spark1Send a Private Message to spark1Direct Link to This Post
This has the potential of making a good country song titled "twenty years ago" (Fifteen years ago is already taken).



I like the one by Ben Colder better:

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Report this Post12-15-2010 09:51 AM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
She picked this as "our song"

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Report this Post12-15-2010 01:52 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Direct Link to This Post
Quick question... neither of you two are married to anyone else right now, right?

------------------
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Report this Post12-15-2010 02:01 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by 82-T/A [At Work]:

Quick question... neither of you two are married to anyone else right now, right?


Back on Holiday mentioned that as well. No, were both single.

and I feel like I am 18 (or younger again). I am going around all day with the silly smile on my face.
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82-T/A [At Work]
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Report this Post12-15-2010 02:05 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:


Back on Holiday mentioned that as well. No, were both single.

and I feel like I am 18 (or younger again). I am going around all day with the silly smile on my face.



Hahah... cool. I'm happy for you guys.


------------------
Todd,
2008 Jeep Patriot Limited 4x2
2002 Ford Explorer Sport 2dr 4x2
2002 Ford Crown Victoria LX
1987 Pontiac Fiero SE / V6
1973 Volkswagen Type-2 Transporter

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Report this Post12-15-2010 02:17 PM Click Here to See the Profile for GeckoSend a Private Message to GeckoDirect Link to This Post
I can't remember how exactly she put it so this one may later require editing if I can remember it exactly.

But it was something along the lines of how she had never been married to anyone nor been with anyone she wanted to be married to..........BUT she wasn't ruling out the possibility for the future and was clear in her words that it could still happen.

Neither of us are really the type to run out and get married tomorrow thankfully. (ok honestly, if she proposed it, I would probably do it, because I love her that much)

I have spent the past 20yrs, with that NEVER EVER being a thought in my mind. There has never been anyone else who I loved that much/wanted to spend my life with/be with forever (all that fancy romance sounding stuff)

There was some music video on at one point, and it was along the lines of what would you do/not do for that person, and while she was being silly/playful, I thought about it seriously..and would I? Yes. Sorry I have to leave you hanging on that one.
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Report this Post12-15-2010 03:39 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Gecko:

There has never been anyone else who I loved that much/wanted to spend my life with/be with forever...



If your leopard gecko catches wind of this, he/she is gonna freak.

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