I just got off of the phone with his doctor at the Bath, NY VA hospital. His kidneys and liver are failing. He's diabetic and he pretty much tried to drink himself to death over the Labor Day weekend so it pretty much gets rid of his chances of a transplant. I'm about 800 miles away and I want to be there with him when it happens. But I don't want to go see him now, be on my way back, and have him pass then. Please, send good vibes/prayes that he passes without pain or sufferring. To be honest, I'm having a very difficult time holding it together right now.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 10-25-2010).]
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09:56 AM
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84fiero123 Member
Posts: 29950 From: farmington, maine usa Registered: Oct 2004
I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. You and your family will be in our thoughts. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things I have ever faced in my life.
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12:04 PM
2.5 Member
Posts: 43225 From: Southern MN Registered: May 2007
You and yours are always in my thoughts and prayers.
------------------ Dealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: you've solved the wrong problem, work hard to improve.
I was able to talk to my daddy just a few minutes ago. He sounds very tired, out of breath, and slightly drugged. They've drained yet another litre of fluid out of him and he has some pretty bad adeama (sp) in his legs. I didn't get good vibes from talking to him, but he's a fighter.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
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11:30 AM
jaskispyder Member
Posts: 21510 From: Northern MI Registered: Jun 2002
Hello Im filled with the same emotions myself as Ive been going back and forth to ICU this whole week, as my mother is in with the same symtoms. Here liver is flailing and not a canidate for a transplant and I have asked for a DNR which basicly means no extra measures. Just giving her my love as with my family. Give love and prayers Norm
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12:09 PM
Raydar Member
Posts: 40727 From: Carrollton GA. Out in the... country. Registered: Oct 1999
Love and good vibes to you and everyone effected. There are no words to melt the pain away, but keep those who love you, and who you love in your close circle right now.
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08:18 PM
tmur115 Member
Posts: 888 From: Battle Ground WA Registered: Jan 2006
I wasn't able to talk to the doctor yesterday. My phone must've hit a dead spot and all I got was a voicemail. I called back immediately to see if the doc was still around but missed him. I'll keep trying today.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
I talked to the doc this morning. It sounds like it could be days, or weeks, or even months. But not long. His kidneys and liver are failing and his BP is low. He'd never survive a transplant even if he were a candidate. I'm heading up to the Bath VA next week to see him. The doc said it's a good idea to do so because, as his condition degrades, he may start to not recognize people. I'll see if I can collect any papers he wants, things from home, clothes. For everyone else's sake and his, I'll have to hold it together and try to pretend that it's not ripping my heart apart. Thanks for everyone's well wishes.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
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11:54 AM
Toddster Member
Posts: 20871 From: Roswell, Georgia Registered: May 2001
I talked to the doc this morning. It sounds like it could be days, or weeks, or even months. But not long. His kidneys and liver are failing and his BP is low. He'd never survive a transplant even if he were a candidate. I'm heading up to the Bath VA next week to see him. The doc said it's a good idea to do so because, as his condition degrades, he may start to not recognize people. I'll see if I can collect any papers he wants, things from home, clothes. For everyone else's sake and his, I'll have to hold it together and try to pretend that it's not ripping my heart apart. Thanks for everyone's well wishes.
Be strong for him, but be sure to let others be strong for you. A wise man once told me that it is just as important to accept help than it is to help others.
This isn't going to be easy. I'm on my own for this one. My older brother is in Australia and my little brother is in South Dakota. I seem to be the only one able to make the trip and see to it that my father's wishes are met should the time come. The doc suggested this morning that I go while his condition is still good enough that he can recognize me and make decisions for himself.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
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06:34 PM
84fiero123 Member
Posts: 29950 From: farmington, maine usa Registered: Oct 2004
I'm hoping he already has pretty much everything planned. He's a pretty organized kind of guy. But I just want to see him and try and figure out what's what.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
whadeduck and normsf, Your parents would much more rather have it this way than have your roles reversed.You are supposed to go before your kids.May they go in painless peace,knowing they are loved.I always picture them(my parents and brothers) on a cliff looking down through the clouds with God's arm on their shoulder and God saying "See,I told you they would be alright".
I wanted to thank everyone for their well-wishes and prayers sent for my daddy. I talked to him earlier today. They have him on morphene and he said he can barely walk. He sounded so weak and so drugged on the phone. To know that he's in that condition and knows the end is coming is tearing me appart. So far, I'm holding it together. But I don't know how much longer I can keep my composure.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
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05:12 PM
Tony Kania Member
Posts: 20794 From: The Inland Northwest Registered: Dec 2008
Originally posted by WBailey1041: Thats good advice. Take it from Steve the attorney hater. Good Luck and Good Vibes.
Thanks I resemble that. It is also that I have been there when my Mom went. She sat us all down, all 5 of us and told us what she wanted. We agreed to do as she wished then and there, I even had everyone sign a document I wrote up a few days later.
Yet things went bad later because she went so soon and didn’t have time to complete her will.
Not going into it here and I just want Whade to cross all his T’s and dot all his I’s.
Good vibes to you all Whade.
Steve
------------------ Technology is great when it works, and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't. Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.
I'm getting some help from my daddy's ex-wife. She's a nurse and said she'd ask him the hard questions. I trust her. They divorced on good terms. And, to be honest, I know what has to be asked, I just don't know if I can get the words out knowing that may be the last conversation I ever have with him. My little brother is able to make it from South Dakota. He's leaving Rapid City on Wednesday. That should put him in New York on Friday. My daddy was going to move down here next year and enjoy his retirement in a much warmer climate. I don't reckon that's going to happen now. He seems to be failing fast. Thanks to War Hammer (Paul) too. He's a good friend and will look after my house while I'm away.
------------------ Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck '88 Ferrario '84 Indy (In A Museum)
Good Luck and Good Vibes.
