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R.I.P. Gecko by twofatguys
Started on: 08-13-2012 01:29 AM
Replies: 40 (1155 views)
Last post by: newf on 08-13-2012 05:31 PM
twofatguys
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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:29 AM Click Here to See the Profile for twofatguysClick Here to Email twofatguysSend a Private Message to twofatguysEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
The wife and I were talking earlier and she mentioned that he hadn't been on facebook for the past few weeks. I went to send him a message and apparently he had a heart attack at a friends house after work last month. The family is not releasing any information, and so far is attacking anyone online who asks for information because (as they are saying) we were not Johns real friends.

I know I had a lot of long, late night talks with John, and quite a few laughs.

John Hegedus AKA Gecko
1-2-72 ~~ 7-10-12





You will be missed man.

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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:34 AM Click Here to See the Profile for E.FurgalSend a Private Message to E.FurgalEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
sorry for your loss..
but don't get the riff about the real friends thing..
other than they would know the day of, or at least week of..

[This message has been edited by E.Furgal (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:35 AM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:43 AM Click Here to See the Profile for TheDigitalAlchemistClick Here to visit TheDigitalAlchemist's HomePageClick Here to Email TheDigitalAlchemistSend a Private Message to TheDigitalAlchemistEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
WHAT?!?!



Wow...



Ugh
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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:44 AM Click Here to See the Profile for skuzzbomerSend a Private Message to skuzzbomerEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Seems too young to go out that way...

[This message has been edited by skuzzbomer (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:48 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Bummer. Too bad your "need to tell" outweighed the families wishes for privacy.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:59 AM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by twofatguys:

John Hegedus AKA Gecko
1-2-72 ~~ 7-10-12


Damn. I'm really shocked to hear that. Shocked and disappointed and upset and... damn.

John had a love of critters (hence his username) and in many threads here over the years we talked about lizards and such. Damn.

Brad, thanks very much for sharing what you know. Not the kind of news we want to hear, but it's important nevertheless.

Jeff, please... just stop it.

...

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Report this Post08-13-2012 02:08 AM Click Here to See the Profile for theBDubSend a Private Message to theBDubEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by WhiteDevil88:

Bummer. Too bad your "need to tell" outweighed the families wishes for privacy.


Sounds to me like they are just lashing out in a time of emotional distress. I can't think of a reason why those here who have befriended him through the years would not be qualified to know based on the family's arbitrary assignment of what they believe his "real" friends were and were not.

Seems to me John believed Brad to be a friend, as they both accepted friendship status online.


I didn't know him well, but it always stinks to lose another forum member. I do remember his posts, and it's always shocking to think conversations permanently saved online are sometimes between someone alive and gone. Thanks for the heads up, Brad.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 02:22 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Patrick:
Jeff, please... just stop it.

...


Apparently our "need to know" outweighs the families wishes as well. So be it. A grieving families request matters little when people have their curiosities.

And Patrick, unless a public piss match is your intent, feel free to utilize the Private Messaging feature provided to voice your disapproval. Out of respect for John, I'll refrain from telling you what else you can do, but I'll bet that you can guess.
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Patrick
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Report this Post08-13-2012 02:26 AM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post

Jeff, it isn't too often I'm speechless. However, this is one of those times.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 02:29 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Patrick:


Jeff, it isn't too often I'm speechless. However, this is one of those times.


But yet you can type.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 03:08 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierobearClick Here to Email fierobearSend a Private Message to fierobearEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I knew him when he lived here in California, and I'm glad I was able to hear about it. That's shocking. The guy was young. Damn. RIP, dude.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 03:18 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I am absolutely shocked. And dismayed. Looks like I shall be keeping a few more special emails and PM's along with the one I treasure from David Pendergast, and a few others from some very kind and special people I have met here, and who have passed on.
I am so sorry to hear this. And I am also very sorry his family are so upset and lashing out like that.
RIP Gecko.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 05:58 AM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I didn't know him, but I offer my condolences to his friends.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 06:09 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Gokart MozartClick Here to visit Gokart Mozart's HomePageSend a Private Message to Gokart MozartEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Thoughts and prayers to his family and friends. He will be missed here.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 06:56 AM Click Here to See the Profile for E.FurgalSend a Private Message to E.FurgalEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
maybe as seen as this thread goes against the family's wishes.. the o/p could send a card or a Spiritual Bouquet

to show good will in breaking the families wishes..
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Report this Post08-13-2012 07:14 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
The 'family' wanted nothing to do with him at one time, when he really needed them; now they want to slag off friends who DID step in. I regret the passing of their relative sincerely, but their behaviour now regarding people whom HE considered friends, and they now consider NOT to be, is reprehensible, IMHO.
E.Furgal. You weren't even around at the time, have no knowledge of John, OR his friends, OR his family, so I would politely suggest you keep your acerbic comments to yourself.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 07:19 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 8BallClick Here to Email 8BallSend a Private Message to 8BallEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Wow, I am so sorry to hear about John. He was a good man.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 07:31 AM Click Here to See the Profile for E.FurgalSend a Private Message to E.FurgalEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by fierofetish:

The 'family' wanted nothing to do with him at one time, when he really needed them; now they want to slag off friends who DID step in. I regret the passing of their relative sincerely, but their behaviour now regarding people whom HE considered friends, and they now consider NOT to be, is reprehensible, IMHO.
E.Furgal. You weren't even around at the time, have no knowledge of John, OR his friends, OR his family, so I would politely suggest you keep your acerbic comments to yourself.



sorry, but even IF his family was the way you say.. show that he/we are bigger/better than that and send a card.. or ?

yes wasn't here.. maybe his family was as you say. maybe he lied, who knows..
no matter what you think of the family members, it's the right thing to do..
send a card and RESPECT the families wishes..
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Report this Post08-13-2012 07:41 AM Click Here to See the Profile for TheDigitalAlchemistClick Here to visit TheDigitalAlchemist's HomePageClick Here to Email TheDigitalAlchemistSend a Private Message to TheDigitalAlchemistEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by WhiteDevil88:

Bummer. Too bad your "need to tell" outweighed the families wishes for privacy.


Did they tell him NOT to tell anyone at all, or did they just not want to provide any details related to his untimely passing and memorial plan(s)?

Two very different things, imo...

Brad was just letting us know the fact that he passed. That's a pretty public fact, but most of us don't scan for names in the global obituary column...

Most folks would LIKE to be remembered, I believe. And would like those who knew them (in "real life" or "virtually") to know why they 'dissappeared'. Don't need to know the details, and if the family wishes it all to be private, it's their call...


Some who grieve may do it for selfish reasons, but those who 'grief' or troll do it to ACTIVELY be assh0les.

Like whoever was the one spamming the Tyler chatroom during the build. That was disgusting.

We WILL grieve for him, and no one has the right to deny us that. Bothering the family is a different matter.

Just so sad to hear he's gone...

[This message has been edited by TheDigitalAlchemist (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 08:12 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by E.Furgal:
sorry, but even IF his family was the way you say.. show that he/we are bigger/better than that and send a card.. or ?

yes wasn't here.. maybe his family was as you say. maybe he lied, who knows..
no matter what you think of the family members, it's the right thing to do..
send a card and RESPECT the families wishes..

I understand that, and perhaps would agree, but..best to let THEM grieve (I very much doubt they would be checking this Forum out ), and allow his friends here to say a few words that they would wish to remember him by.


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Report this Post08-13-2012 08:36 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Tony KaniaSend a Private Message to Tony KaniaEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Patrick:


Jeff, it isn't too often I'm speechless. However, this is one of those times.


New low for this forum. (Pertaining to WD88.)

Gecko, you were a great member. I rated you positive for your help with an issue that I had. You will be missed fine sir. I am so very sorry.

Tony Kania

[This message has been edited by Tony Kania (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 09:58 AM Click Here to See the Profile for doug.sClick Here to visit doug.s's HomePageSend a Private Message to doug.sEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
RIP John, you will be missed
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Report this Post08-13-2012 09:59 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fiero123Click Here to Email 84fiero123Send a Private Message to 84fiero123Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
A loss of a forum member is always important to all of us here. We are like family and every member we lose to the great beyond, even though I don’t believe there is a beyond is important to every one of us.
I personally have contacted several members when they aren’t here for some time just to make sure they are OK.

WD and the others here who are arguing about whether it was right to tell us for whatever reason, we want to know when we lose a member.

Just remember he will never be truly gone and as long as his posts remain here on PFF he will always be a member here and a good friend to all.

So quit the crap and just give your condolences and carryon.

I will ask Cliff if it is possible when we lose a member to change their avatar to a picture of the real person and a little info about their passing. You know sort of like a tombstone with their birth and death date so that we all know. Is it so wrong for people who knew him to be informed of his passing.

I like 99% of our members and would buy any of them a beer anytime they wish to stop by.

RIP John and may your Fiero in the sky never run out of gas.

Steve

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and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:01 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Formula88Send a Private Message to Formula88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Too young. Much to young.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:12 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Tony Kania:


New low for this forum. (Pertaining to WD88.)

Tony Kania



You have no idea how low this forum can go. Wait until the speculation of why an otherwise healthy looking 40 year old had a heart attack starts. Try searching for GTDude in the archives. You will see exactly what I am talking about.

If you think I am being disrespectful of his memory, know that I met the guy, ate a couple meals with him, and generally considered myself his ally on the forum. He was a genuinely nice guy, but I doubt that many on this forum would have approved of his lifestyle 100%. Did you write to Gecko in jail? I know that I didn't, and it has bothered me ever since. I doubt that time was good for him, and his Internet "friends" largely forgot about him.

While I appreciate that Brad feels he has the best of intentions, it just seems callous that he apparently disregarded the family's wishes. I don't understand the family's reasoning, or agree that he had no friends here. But my need to know shouldn't trump a survivors wishes and a decedants privacy. If you disagree, that is fine. But to place my concerns as the forums low water mark, you are either being inflammatory for the purpose of trolling, or you are being intentionally ignorant. Either way, your comment is more appropriate for PM.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:13 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post

WhiteDevil88

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Member since Mar 2007
 
quote
Originally posted by Formula88:

Too young. Much to young.


Yes, indeed.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:16 AM Click Here to See the Profile for blakeinspaceClick Here to Email blakeinspaceSend a Private Message to blakeinspaceEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
awww man. Really, really sorry to read this. What a great forum member.

Brad, regardless of what the family thinks... Thank You for letting us know.

They may not realize the little car created a 'family' of a different definition.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:36 AM Click Here to See the Profile for tbone42Send a Private Message to tbone42Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
John had made a purchase from me last year, and I had some interaction with him here and there in O/T. He was never mean-spirited or nasty, but funny and a little ornery and thats how I like them. He was only 3 years older than me, and this is a healthy reminder that if you guys have not had your health screenings and are approaching 40, perhaps its time? This is a terrible thing that happened to someone so young, a member of our little family here.

I will be making some appointments in short order to get my heart and other vitals checked out, I have put this off long enough. I knew when i was 23 years old I had high cholesterol and heart disease runs in my family. The time to ignore it because I am young is over, this is as much of a wake up call that I could hope for. I am sorry for Gecko going, and what his family must be going through. RIP fellow traveler, see you on the next road.

He's gone home.

[This message has been edited by tbone42 (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 10:41 AM Click Here to See the Profile for twofatguysClick Here to Email twofatguysSend a Private Message to twofatguysEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
The family never said nobody could be told. When asked what happened, where the funeral is/was, or where John is buried people are told that they were not his real friends and don't need to know any of that. (In much more derogatory terms)

I did not break the families wishes in any way. Everything I posted came from his Girlfriend, who has no problem with people knowing.

Brad
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Report this Post08-13-2012 11:00 AM Click Here to See the Profile for WhiteDevil88Click Here to Email WhiteDevil88Send a Private Message to WhiteDevil88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by twofatguys:

The family never said nobody could be told. When asked what happened, where the funeral is/was, or where John is buried people are told that they were not his real friends and don't need to know any of that. (In much more derogatory terms)

I did not break the families wishes in any way. Everything I posted came from his Girlfriend, who has no problem with people knowing.

Brad


Well, you were there.

Let me ask, though. If you had information that you did not want published, would it be ok to publish it if it came from another source? Legally, yes. The ethics concern me. I think it would bother you as well.

Anyway, I'm done with commenting on this. Everything I need to say has been said, and without any disrespect to anyone. People apparently want to know "what happened", and that must be important. If anyone feels the need to try to shame me for my opinion, I hope that they will utilize the Private Messages rather then send this thread to the trash.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 11:06 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fiero123Click Here to Email 84fiero123Send a Private Message to 84fiero123Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Just realized he was one of my FB friends and posted the Mary Frye poem on his FB page, just after your post Brad. I never go there very often so I didn’t even realize he had passed. Thank you Brad for posting the loss of a good friend.

He was a good man who will be missed.

Steve

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and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

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Report this Post08-13-2012 11:19 AM Click Here to See the Profile for BoondawgClick Here to Email BoondawgSend a Private Message to BoondawgEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
You know, I read halfway down before I realized it was THAT Gecko!
I knew I reconized the face.
Man, that is sad.

I suspect the family are more angry with HIM and his choices in life then they are with his "non-friends".
It's just easier for them to face, that way.

RIP my friend.

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Report this Post08-13-2012 11:56 AM Click Here to See the Profile for ToddsterClick Here to Email ToddsterSend a Private Message to ToddsterEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Damn, that is just wrong. Way too young. Best wishes to the family.
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Report this Post08-13-2012 01:01 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
So sad

another page turns and another chapter is done. RIP
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Report this Post08-13-2012 03:02 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Man, poor guy... I really hate to read about this stuff. I didn't know him like some of you guys did, but pretty much everyone on here, even in O/T is a "doer"... not the Monty Python kind, but the kind of person who likes to get their hands dirty to fix things... and I have a lot of respect for people like that, regardless of their situation.

I hope it's not too innapropriate to discuss, but my brother had a "heart attack" also when he was 28. My parents responded in a similar fashion to the way it appears his family has. Unfortunately, for my brother's case... he was using drugs which caused the heart attack and he died. I've learned that people can do some pretty dumb things, but that shouldn't define who they are as a person... just like whatever the situation caused Gecko to end up the way he did, shouldn't be cause for a family to be disturbed. When the dust clears... most of us will only remember the positives of people.

Poor guy...
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Report this Post08-13-2012 04:15 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I was looking through the archives, re-reading a few threads where John and I had conversed. This thread, dating back to 2006, is unfortunately probably an early indication of what may have led to his untimely death.

In the hospital, already fixed, just waiting to go home

The following thread is probably the best example of the type of discussions that I most enjoyed with him.

Pics of my newest leopard geckos

He certainly loved his Leopard Geckos. This is how I will remember John...

[This message has been edited by Patrick (edited 08-13-2012).]

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Boondawg
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Report this Post08-13-2012 04:23 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BoondawgClick Here to Email BoondawgSend a Private Message to BoondawgEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Patrick:

I was looking through the archives, re-reading a few threads where John and I had conversed. This thread, dating back to 2006, is unfortunately probably an early indication of what may have led to his untimely death.

In the hospital, already fixed, just waiting to go home



That made me weep.
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TheDigitalAlchemist
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Report this Post08-13-2012 04:27 PM Click Here to See the Profile for TheDigitalAlchemistClick Here to visit TheDigitalAlchemist's HomePageClick Here to Email TheDigitalAlchemistSend a Private Message to TheDigitalAlchemistEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
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Originally posted by Patrick:



Thanks for sharing those... I was doing a similar thing, and was reading the thread regarding him and his GF...
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OKflyboy
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Report this Post08-13-2012 04:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for OKflyboySend a Private Message to OKflyboyEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Sorry to hear it. You will be missed John.

(taking the rest to PM)

[This message has been edited by OKflyboy (edited 08-13-2012).]

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