Kim was supposed to have "womans problems" surgery last spring, but because the ultrasound (in May) showed clear it kept getting pushed back due to covid.
The past few days she cant even hold water down, but we kind of figured reaction to last weeks flu shot.
She was REALLY in pain this morning so I took her to emerg and have been sitting waiting since then. Just got off the phone with the doc.
CT scan shows an 8cm x 11cm mass on either the kidney or uterus.
Its only 6 years since I went thru this with dad
NOW I am sitting waiting for the next call as to what they are doing next.
Of all the girls I've dated, she is the only one that's been 100% supportive of my little projects and nutty work life and actually bought me a gun for my birthday last year. AND lets me keep them on display. MOST of 'em made me keep them hidden in the garage or basement or whatever and the were barely tolerated.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 11-22-2020).]
You know why you're there? Because you've been through this, and you're strong enough to be there for this lady.
And I've known more people who've beaten this than haven't. Bad news has knocked at your door. You don't have to invite it in and offer it a chair. She can beat this. You will help her through.
Hang in there MEM... it's situations like this where the people we love need us to have the strength to help them get through it. Your ability to be calm and pull through will help her pull through this.
Tumor from the uterus to the bladder to the abdomen wall. Basically a softball. Earliest appointment for a specialist is Tues at 8:30 so we are leaving here at 6am to make it. Meantime they are sending out meds from 90 min away that will be here at 9 tonight. Nurse will be here at 8am tomorrow.
Docs didnt even have the balls to tell her how bad it is themselves, they left that up to me.
And if they had done what they were SUPPOSED to last spring, none of this would be happening. It would have been a minor thing.
We are going to be spending a lot of time on the road this winter. 90 min each way to the hospital.
I know from past experience this kind of response means they are worried sheetless.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 11-26-2020).]
Tumor from the uterus to the bladder to the abdomen wall. Basically a softball. Earliest appointment for a specialist is Tues at 8:30 so we are leaving here at 6am to make it. Meantime they are sending out meds from 90 min away that will be here at 9 tonight. Nurse will be here at 8am tomorrow.
Docs didnt even have the balls to tell her how bad it is themselves, they left that up to me.
And if they had done what they were SUPPOSED to last spring, none of this would be happening. It would have been a minor thing.
We are going to be spending a lot of time on the road this winter. 90 min each way to the hospital.
I know from past experience this kind of response means they are worried sheetless.
**** man, thats rough. I hope for the best... I hate doctors, I especially hate when something could have been preventable or at least better managed.
Last Tuesdays appointment got put back to today due to the snowstorm. We left here at 8 this morning and back around 5 and both headed straight for a nap.
Tumor is soft-ball size, goes from the uterus to the bladder to the abdoman wall and is now getting close to the spine as todays scan showed. She starts chemo next week to shrink it, then surgery, then possible radiation and more chemo if they cant remove all of it with the operation. Either way it looks like we are starting to look for a mobility-friendly place.
All-in-all....a total ****- up.
The one bright part is they are going to do the chemo here under direction from the cancer clinic, which takes distance from 90 to 30 minutes. HUGE difference for both of us. Those highway drives are hard on me after all the years, but just grueling for her to sit there listening to Mr. Road Rage telling the other drivers what he thinks of their parents breeding habits.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 12-07-2020).]
One thing I have learned in life with these kinds of things guys..
Keep your sense of humor. Ramp up the dry sarcasm. Watch Monty Python.
So long as you can do that you can get back up from anything with a little help. You might even be useful to somebody else.
If you loose that humor, you'll end up one of those who doesnt get back up again.
Weed is legal here and doc wrote her a scitp for some, so on the way home I stopped and blew 50 on a pipe and a bag of what the guy at the store said was decent for pain and anxiety. I dunno, I hate the smell of the stuff even but if it helps her......
(yes, welcome to Ontario...the government is the local dope dealer at 3 times street prices )
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 12-08-2020).]
She keeps complaining about the back pain and as big as an azzhole as I am, some how its not in me to tell her "sorry, that is cancer hitting the spine and you are looking at the rest of your life in a chair...if you live"
MEM... I'm really, really sorry that you and your wife are dealing with this right now.
Is there anything that we can do as a group to help you? Anything at all? Can we help pay for your gas for the hospital visits? Please let us know... I know you don't believe in God, and that's cool... but I'll be praying for you man... I really want this to turn around.
MEM... I'm really, really sorry that you and your wife are dealing with this right now.
Is there anything that we can do as a group to help you? Anything at all? Can we help pay for your gas for the hospital visits? Please let us know... I know you don't believe in God, and that's cool... but I'll be praying for you man... I really want this to turn around.
Money I've got and have access to...
It's not that I dont believe in god...its that I hate religion. I grew up in a very violent catholic place and I refuse to go back to that. As an adult, I may beat the crap out of a tyrant...
No way in hell I am going to grab a kid by the hair and smash their face into a wall. I'm not going to turn into mom or her friends.
As for pastor Roy at the Baptist church. I helped him. did the right thing. begged for donations for the church....sorry, you dont get to screw your own daughter, knock her up, the claim its gods will and you are teaching her how to be a good wife in the future. Another ex-Toronto cop.
Prayers and positive thoughts is about all anybody can do right now. Been here before and the docs are trying like hell, but the words "palitive care only" are on everbody's mind.
Thanks for taking the time. I'll keep praying for y'all, too. I don't have a lot of words, so I won't make up a bunch, and just blab. Just know that we're here for you.
And yeah, I get some of the "catholic' thing, too. (I call myself a "recovering catholic".) I didn't catch nearly as much crap as you did, but I still have a really effed up (and moderately socially retarded) attitude. I truly believe that they're not all bad (as an aside... I don't know anyone who ever got molested by a priest) but the bad ones sure make it difficult for the good ones (and likely everyone else they come in contact with.)
Another long road trip on Monday to the big clinic, but after that she gets a break. Chemo will 9-10 weeks and thats what they are doing here locally. Then if surgury or radiation is needed its back to touring. After the chemo though, the Canadian Cancer Society can help with some of the transport (they have a volunteer driver service) so that takes a bit of the load off me to be in 3 places at once and maybe I can get things under control again around the house.
Kinda weird in one thing though, and dad was exactly the same with cancer. We always sleep in the dark. pitch black. She is afraid of it now. There has to be a light on, nightlights in every room and where the bedroom door was always closed at night, now it has to be open.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 12-19-2020).]
All you guys can do is listen and give me a place to bounce frustrations off of....
Same as dad....she cant poop. sometimes. Cant eat without tossing cookies. LOTS of chicken soup around here....I'm left mopping up puke and (sometimes direah) and have a girl crying because she pissed herself in bed at 52 years old. No matter how much I tell her its OK, its not....would you ? Christ man as drunk as I've ever been I've always managed to roll off the floor before pissing. She cant.
Docs keep playing games. Dunno what the ****ING delays are but all they can do is keep feeding nurses and T3's and some other drugs.....NOW its Jan 9th to the clinic again for an "pelvic exam" and "consent forms"
HEY ????
How about **** your exams and 50,000 tests (you've already done them and know) and forms.......NOW GET OFF YOUR ****ING ASS ASS and do what you are trained and paid to do....
Kim is getting very-very sick and I am turning into a very-very frustrated angry man.
Then the chemo comes...its only going to get worse.
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 12-30-2020).]
Wanna do something for me, Rinse ? There is a 67 Mustang coupe, black-on-black with black Enkie rims floating around your state. It was bought cash in 1998 for $5900 on car row in Freemont....
Somewhere in the back of that car is an earing from a girl from Fresno named "Tiffany" (Arent they all )
If you ever find that earing...throw it in the ocean and tell her to screw off......
(No I havent lost my sense of humor...its the only thing that keeps me from crying)
[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 12-30-2020).]
If I thought you'd do it, I'd tell you guys to sneak across the border and get some of this free American health care, that everyone keeps talking about, that reportedly is available to "undocumented visitors". (Might as well, if you can. Seems like everyone else is.)
Cynicism aside, I wish I had some answers for you. Unfortunately I don't. We be here. Thanks for checking in. Peace.
Edit -
quote
Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: ... a girl from Fresno named "Tiffany" (Arent they all )
Oughta be in GA. They're all named "Brandi" - with an "i".
[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 12-30-2020).]
Wanna do something for me, Rinse ? There is a 67 Mustang coupe, black-on-black with black Enkie rims floating around your state. It was bought cash in 1998 for $5900 on car row in Freemont....
Somewhere in the back of that car is an earing from a girl from Fresno named "Tiffany" (Arent they all )
If you ever find that earing...throw it in the ocean and tell her to screw off......
(No I havent lost my sense of humor...its the only thing that keeps me from crying)
We will listen. Pray too. Keep on keepin on, humor greases the wheels.
If I thought you'd do it, I'd tell you guys to sneak across the border and get some of this free American health care, that everyone keeps talking about, that reportedly is available to "undocumented visitors". (Might as well, if you can. Seems like everyone else is.)
)
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