A very close long time friend of mine, and former employee until he started his own business, took a few items from my warehouse and sold them. I've known him since childhood, 25 yrs or so.. it's only $4500 worth of stuff but that doesn't matter. At first I was mad, now I'm just disappointed and sad I guess. We are almost like brothers I trusted him with so much. I now wonder what else he's stolen and lied about over the years.. I've always had his back, he could have asked me for money a loan , co-sign, a job.. anything.
I just noticed it earlier today, I decided to think before I confront him. I've had so much success and good luck the past few years it certainly is a big downer to say the least.
Any advice or experience like mine and how you handled it would be appreciated.
[This message has been edited by Steel (edited 02-03-2020).]
If it happened to me, that post would have began "A formerly very close and now ex friend of mine..." Theft of $4500 worth of cash, goods or services in my state is a felony. I have no use for thieves and IMO, allowing a 'friend' to steal from me is tantamount to buying friends, which I won't do. That's all I can say about it from my point of view.
Many folks have had a good friend or family member, start to take things to fund a habit. This does not make theft, ok, but you might want to dig to see if your life long friend got himself into something that is now controlling his actions. And see if you can smack some sense into him or get him the help he may need. If you known him that long and this is a new behavior , you might be able to save him, then again it could be just a lack of g.a.f. good luck. People that were good friends and good people that start doing this type thing, got into something and are not being themselves. You can't always get through to them. and sometimes have to cut them loose.
[This message has been edited by E.Furgal (edited 02-03-2020).]
Most people wonder whether their friendship is valued or not. You know without a doubt your good friendship was worth somewhere between 0 and not quite $4500. Consider it a cheap lesson to learn, cut all ties and start criminal proceedings. Can't abide a thief and one that operates under color of friendship is the worst kind
I'd check first for miscommunication. I've had a situation where I told a staff member they could take an item that was only going to scrap anyway, and another department manager didn't know about it and accused the employee of theft.
Or was it "stuff" he honestly thought was his and just stored at your warehouse? Seen that one too and if it's not well documented only those directly involved know what's going on.
If that's not the case (or something similar ) then get the law involved.
Originally posted by Steel: We are almost like brothers … ... I've always had his back, ...
I could never unlove my brother, sister, Mom, or Dad. The same with my children.
quote
Originally posted by E.Furgal: Many folks have had a good friend or family member, start to take things to fund a habit.
... you might want to dig to see if your life long friend got himself into something that is now controlling his actions. And see if you can smack some sense into him or get him the help he may need. If you known him that long and this is a new behavior , you might be able to save him, …
People that were good friends and good people that start doing this type thing, got into something and are not being themselves. You can't always get through to them. and sometimes have to cut them loose.
I suspect that your feelings are akin to being cheated on by a spouse. Some have repaired those relationships. I would not want to repair your friendship difficulties, nor for me, one of a cheating spouse. I could not harbor hate either.
I would consider offering a helping hand if needed. Maybe. I would let them know you found them out and let guilt eat their soles (if they are capable of guilt). I would let them lament in their loss of a good thing.
Originally posted by maryjane: If it happened to me, that post would have began "A formerly very close and now ex friend of mine..." Theft of $4500 worth of cash, goods or services in my state is a felony.
Yup. Many states > $1500 to $2000 is a Felony often called Grand Theft. Just go and file a police report and show all evidenced available to cops/DA.
Then maybe file insurance claim but that can raise premium later etc. But $4500 maybe under policy deductibles. Even calling I-co to ask can raise your home/business premium in many states.
Get a lawyer too because You likely will need one if you confront him and people close to him. You playing "Friend" to a Thief/Liar is likely to Backfire and in big ways like they can/will call cops on you or worse. He could file for Court Order(s) for stalking etc. that now requires you to handover guns and other weapons to cops in some states. Likely could Sue you too.
Remember You live in a world where most everyone now sues at a drop of a hat Plus Businesses get hammered by Yep et al and find you on YT etc too. Just 1 or few Bogus Bad Yep etc "reviews" has make many businesses to lose a lot of money or even close. Yep itself have been sued because of many reasons and how their run.
------------------ Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. (Jurassic Park)
If he is truly a friend, talk to him about it. Don't go calling cops or anything else if you haven't even talked to him about. You can be direct or try bringing it up sideways and see if he knows what you are talking about. But if he is your friend just talk to him about it, and in a non confrontational way.
So he was a friend, who worked for you. Then he started a new business. Is he now competition? Did you lose business to him? Did the alleged theft cause you to loose business to him? Can you prove ownership of the things he allegedly took?
If you can prove ownership and prove he took said items then confront him. Give him a chance to make good on items If he refuses contact the authorities.
Originally posted by MidEngineManiac:I'd check first for miscommunication. I've had a situation where I told a staff member they could take an item that was only going to scrap anyway, and another department manager didn't know about it and accused the employee of theft.
Or was it "stuff" he honestly thought was his and just stored at your warehouse? Seen that one too and if it's not well documented only those directly involved know what's going on.
If that's not the case (or something similar ) then get the law involved.
I know you are sure you have been ripped off but, I did not see the conversation you had with him. You gotta have the conversation. Might consider a discreet recorder to "keep your memory fresh". Try to use words that are non confrontational and be ready to scale up from there. I hope for misunderstanding but, please do not be someone that allows themselves to be taken advantage of.
A very close long time friend of mine, and former employee until he started his own business, took a few items from my warehouse and sold them. I've known him since childhood, 25 yrs or so.. it's only $4500 worth of stuff but that doesn't matter. At first I was mad, now I'm just disappointed and sad I guess. We are almost like brothers I trusted him with so much. I now wonder what else he's stolen and lied about over the years.. I've always had his back, he could have asked me for money a loan , co-sign, a job.. anything.
I just noticed it earlier today, I decided to think before I confront him. I've had so much success and good luck the past few years it certainly is a big downer to say the least.
Any advice or experience like mine and how you handled it would be appreciated.
That's very unfortunate. When someone does something like this, they've clearly broken all tenets of a friendship. I assume you know without a doubt that he took what he did. I'd confront him, ask him why he did it, and go from there...
I had two family members, one druggie and one just a thief, clean out my garage of every tool, jack and anything valuable. They even let the car down that I was working on, stole the floor jack, creeper, battery an even the wheel that I had to take off to work on the car. Basically stole every tool that I had.
I didn’t have any proof, but the druggie came to visit and kept me occupied with “questions” about his phone while the thief did the dirty work. The druggie eventually confessed to my father, but claimed that he was unaware that the thief was cleaning me out while he was inside(sure he was). The druggie died of a heroine overdose at 49 almost two years ago
I hate thieves.
I would at least get rid of him. My druggie cousin had been stealing from me for years. When he died, nothing else disappeared. Coincidence? It’s hard to stop someone who is used to stealing.
I would at least get rid of him. My druggie cousin had been stealing from me for years. When he died, nothing else disappeared. Coincidence? It’s hard to stop someone who is used to stealing.
-FF 1986 Fiero 2M6
I hear you on that one dude. My mother did it to me for 47 years. Couldn't turn my back on her or leave her alone anywhere and she would be going through the drawer and cupboards. If she got hold of the car keys she would be searching through that. It wasn't about value with her, it was the power and control. She was going to decide what we were and weren't "allowed " to own.
