Pennock's Fiero Forum
  Totally O/T
  Theft, how to handle?

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Email This Page to Someone! | Printable Version


next newest topic | next oldest topic
Theft, how to handle? by Steel
Started on: 02-03-2020 01:32 AM
Replies: 19 (360 views)
Last post by: MidEngineManiac on 02-16-2020 07:55 AM
Steel
Member
Posts: 1104
From:
Registered: Apr 2011


Feedback score:    (6)
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 01:32 AM Click Here to See the Profile for SteelSend a Private Message to SteelEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
A very close long time friend of mine, and former employee until he started his own business, took a few items from my warehouse and sold them. I've known him since childhood, 25 yrs or so.. it's only $4500 worth of stuff but that doesn't matter. At first I was mad, now I'm just disappointed and sad I guess. We are almost like brothers I trusted him with so much. I now wonder what else he's stolen and lied about over the years.. I've always had his back, he could have asked me for money a loan , co-sign, a job.. anything.

I just noticed it earlier today, I decided to think before I confront him. I've had so much success and good luck the past few years it certainly is a big downer to say the least.

Any advice or experience like mine and how you handled it would be appreciated.

[This message has been edited by Steel (edited 02-03-2020).]

IP: Logged
maryjane
Member
Posts: 64682
From: Cleveland Texas
Registered: Apr 2001


Feedback score: (4)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 441
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 01:53 AM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
If it happened to me, that post would have began "A formerly very close and now ex friend of mine..."
Theft of $4500 worth of cash, goods or services in my state is a felony.
I have no use for thieves and IMO, allowing a 'friend' to steal from me is tantamount to buying friends, which I won't do.
That's all I can say about it from my point of view.
IP: Logged
E.Furgal
Member
Posts: 11693
From: LAND OF CONFUSION
Registered: Mar 2012


Feedback score:    (23)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 277
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 02:00 AM Click Here to See the Profile for E.FurgalSend a Private Message to E.FurgalEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Many folks have had a good friend or family member, start to take things to fund a habit.
This does not make theft, ok, but you might want to dig to see if your life long friend got himself into something that is now controlling his actions. And see if you can smack some sense into him or get him the help he may need.
If you known him that long and this is a new behavior , you might be able to save him, then again it could be just a lack of g.a.f.
good luck.
People that were good friends and good people that start doing this type thing, got into something and are not being themselves.
You can't always get through to them. and sometimes have to cut them loose.

[This message has been edited by E.Furgal (edited 02-03-2020).]

IP: Logged
Patrick
Member
Posts: 28964
From: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Registered: Apr 99


Feedback score: (1)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 438
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 03:15 AM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Steel:

...it's only $4500 worth of stuff


That's not exactly spare change.

If it was me in your position, the "friendship" would be instantly terminated... and it wouldn't matter what BS excuse was offered.

I have no time or compassion for thieves or liars.

[This message has been edited by Patrick (edited 02-03-2020).]

IP: Logged
AlanD
Member
Posts: 364
From: Sparta, NC
Registered: Jul 2005


Feedback score: (1)
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 05:46 AM Click Here to See the Profile for AlanDClick Here to Email AlanDSend a Private Message to AlanDEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Most people wonder whether their friendship is valued or not. You know without a doubt your good friendship was worth somewhere between 0 and not quite $4500. Consider it a cheap lesson to learn, cut all ties and start criminal proceedings. Can't abide a thief and one that operates under color of friendship is the worst kind
IP: Logged
rbell2915
Member
Posts: 1101
From: Clayton, NC
Registered: Mar 2013


Feedback score: (3)
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 07:15 AM Click Here to See the Profile for rbell2915Click Here to Email rbell2915Send a Private Message to rbell2915Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Sometimes "friendships" are one-way streets. What else could have happened over the years? Go to the police.
IP: Logged
MidEngineManiac
Member
Posts: 24699
From: Deplorableland
Registered: Feb 2007


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 294
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 07:16 AM Click Here to See the Profile for MidEngineManiacSend a Private Message to MidEngineManiacEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I'd check first for miscommunication. I've had a situation where I told a staff member they could take an item that was only going to scrap anyway, and another department manager didn't know about it and accused the employee of theft.

Or was it "stuff" he honestly thought was his and just stored at your warehouse? Seen that one too and if it's not well documented only those directly involved know what's going on.

If that's not the case (or something similar ) then get the law involved.
IP: Logged
olejoedad
Member
Posts: 13483
From: Clarendon Twp., MI
Registered: May 2004


Feedback score: (5)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 184
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 07:18 AM Click Here to See the Profile for olejoedadClick Here to Email olejoedadSend a Private Message to olejoedadEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Too bad you didn't catch him in the act.

Without solid evidence, a legal remedy may be impossible.
IP: Logged
cliffw
Member
Posts: 32690
From: Bandera, Texas, USA
Registered: Jun 2003


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 286
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 10:21 AM Click Here to See the Profile for cliffwClick Here to Email cliffwSend a Private Message to cliffwEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Steel:
We are almost like brothers …
... I've always had his back, ...


I could never unlove my brother, sister, Mom, or Dad. The same with my children.

 
quote
Originally posted by E.Furgal:
Many folks have had a good friend or family member, start to take things to fund a habit.

... you might want to dig to see if your life long friend got himself into something that is now controlling his actions. And see if you can smack some sense into him or get him the help he may need.
If you known him that long and this is a new behavior , you might be able to save him, …

People that were good friends and good people that start doing this type thing, got into something and are not being themselves.
You can't always get through to them. and sometimes have to cut them loose.


I suspect that your feelings are akin to being cheated on by a spouse. Some have repaired those relationships. I would not want to repair your friendship difficulties, nor for me, one of a cheating spouse. I could not harbor hate either.

I would consider offering a helping hand if needed. Maybe. I would let them know you found them out and let guilt eat their soles (if they are capable of guilt). I would let them lament in their loss of a good thing.

Good luck.
IP: Logged
RWDPLZ
Member
Posts: 14226
From: Michigan
Registered: May 2002


Feedback score:    (11)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 294
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 10:25 AM Click Here to See the Profile for RWDPLZClick Here to visit RWDPLZ's HomePageSend a Private Message to RWDPLZEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Send his new business an invoice for the items. Any cameras on the property? If he balks, tell him you have video evidence (even if you don't).
IP: Logged
Tony Kania
Member
Posts: 20545
From: The Inland Northwest
Registered: Dec 2008


Feedback score:    (7)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 301
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 11:15 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Tony KaniaSend a Private Message to Tony KaniaEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
If you have proof, report him to the authorities. Period.

So sorry.
IP: Logged
theogre
Member
Posts: 28682
From: USA
Registered: Mar 99


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 547
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 11:37 AM Click Here to See the Profile for theogreClick Here to visit theogre's HomePageSend a Private Message to theogreEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by maryjane:
If it happened to me, that post would have began "A formerly very close and now ex friend of mine..."
Theft of $4500 worth of cash, goods or services in my state is a felony.
Yup. Many states > $1500 to $2000 is a Felony often called Grand Theft.
Just go and file a police report and show all evidenced available to cops/DA.

Then maybe file insurance claim but that can raise premium later etc. But $4500 maybe under policy deductibles. Even calling I-co to ask can raise your home/business premium in many states.

Get a lawyer too because You likely will need one if you confront him and people close to him.
You playing "Friend" to a Thief/Liar is likely to Backfire and in big ways like they can/will call cops on you or worse. He could file for Court Order(s) for stalking etc. that now requires you to handover guns and other weapons to cops in some states. Likely could Sue you too.

Remember You live in a world where most everyone now sues at a drop of a hat Plus Businesses get hammered by Yep et al and find you on YT etc too.
Just 1 or few Bogus Bad Yep etc "reviews" has make many businesses to lose a lot of money or even close. Yep itself have been sued because of many reasons and how their run.

------------------
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
(Jurassic Park)


The Ogre's Fiero Cave

IP: Logged
LitebulbwithaFiero
Member
Posts: 2973
From: LaSalle, Michigan
Registered: Jun 2008


Feedback score: (2)
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 01:03 PM Click Here to See the Profile for LitebulbwithaFieroClick Here to Email LitebulbwithaFieroSend a Private Message to LitebulbwithaFieroEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
If he is truly a friend, talk to him about it. Don't go calling cops or anything else if you haven't even talked to him about. You can be direct or try bringing it up sideways and see if he knows what you are talking about. But if he is your friend just talk to him about it, and in a non confrontational way.
IP: Logged
Jake_Dragon
Member
Posts: 30687
From: Long Beach
Registered: Jan 2001


Feedback score: (5)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 390
Rate this member

Report this Post02-03-2020 04:24 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
So he was a friend, who worked for you. Then he started a new business.
Is he now competition? Did you lose business to him? Did the alleged theft cause you to loose business to him?
Can you prove ownership of the things he allegedly took?

If you can prove ownership and prove he took said items then confront him.
Give him a chance to make good on items
If he refuses contact the authorities.
IP: Logged
Blacktree
Member
Posts: 20104
From: Central Florida
Registered: Dec 2001


Feedback score:    (10)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 345
Rate this member

Report this Post02-04-2020 02:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BlacktreeClick Here to visit Blacktree's HomePageClick Here to Email BlacktreeSend a Private Message to BlacktreeEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
If you guys were as close as you're saying, you should be able to talk about these things. Just ask him.
IP: Logged
FriendGregory
Member
Posts: 4748
From: Palo Alto, CA, USA
Registered: Jan 2004


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-09-2020 08:21 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FriendGregoryClick Here to Email FriendGregorySend a Private Message to FriendGregoryEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by MidEngineManiac:I'd check first for miscommunication. I've had a situation where I told a staff member they could take an item that was only going to scrap anyway, and another department manager didn't know about it and accused the employee of theft.

Or was it "stuff" he honestly thought was his and just stored at your warehouse? Seen that one too and if it's not well documented only those directly involved know what's going on.

If that's not the case (or something similar ) then get the law involved.


I know you are sure you have been ripped off but, I did not see the conversation you had with him. You gotta have the conversation. Might consider a discreet recorder to "keep your memory fresh". Try to use words that are non confrontational and be ready to scale up from there.
I hope for misunderstanding but, please do not be someone that allows themselves to be taken advantage of.
IP: Logged
82-T/A [At Work]
Member
Posts: 17504
From: Florida USA
Registered: Aug 2002


Feedback score: (1)
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 182
Rate this member

Report this Post02-12-2020 07:47 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 82-T/A [At Work]Send a Private Message to 82-T/A [At Work]Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Steel:

A very close long time friend of mine, and former employee until he started his own business, took a few items from my warehouse and sold them. I've known him since childhood, 25 yrs or so.. it's only $4500 worth of stuff but that doesn't matter. At first I was mad, now I'm just disappointed and sad I guess. We are almost like brothers I trusted him with so much. I now wonder what else he's stolen and lied about over the years.. I've always had his back, he could have asked me for money a loan , co-sign, a job.. anything.

I just noticed it earlier today, I decided to think before I confront him. I've had so much success and good luck the past few years it certainly is a big downer to say the least.

Any advice or experience like mine and how you handled it would be appreciated.




That's very unfortunate. When someone does something like this, they've clearly broken all tenets of a friendship. I assume you know without a doubt that he took what he did. I'd confront him, ask him why he did it, and go from there...
IP: Logged
Fieros_Forever
Member
Posts: 947
From: Alabama, United States
Registered: Oct 2002


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-16-2020 12:27 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Fieros_ForeverSend a Private Message to Fieros_ForeverEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I feel for you.

I had two family members, one druggie and one just a thief, clean out my garage of every tool, jack and anything valuable. They even let the car down that I was working on, stole the floor jack, creeper, battery an even the wheel that I had to take off to work on the car. Basically stole every tool that I had.

I didn’t have any proof, but the druggie came to visit and kept me occupied with “questions” about his phone while the thief did the dirty work. The druggie eventually confessed to my father, but claimed that he was unaware that the thief was cleaning me out while he was inside(sure he was). The druggie died of a heroine overdose at 49 almost two years ago

I hate thieves.

I would at least get rid of him. My druggie cousin had been stealing from me for years. When he died, nothing else disappeared. Coincidence? It’s hard to stop someone who is used to stealing.

-FF
1986 Fiero 2M6
IP: Logged
Fieros_Forever
Member
Posts: 947
From: Alabama, United States
Registered: Oct 2002


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback

Rate this member

Report this Post02-16-2020 12:46 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Fieros_ForeverSend a Private Message to Fieros_ForeverEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Double post

[This message has been edited by Fieros_Forever (edited 02-16-2020).]

IP: Logged
MidEngineManiac
Member
Posts: 24699
From: Deplorableland
Registered: Feb 2007


Feedback score: N/A
Leave feedback





Total ratings: 294
Rate this member

Report this Post02-16-2020 07:55 AM Click Here to See the Profile for MidEngineManiacSend a Private Message to MidEngineManiacEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Fieros_Forever:


I would at least get rid of him. My druggie cousin had been stealing from me for years. When he died, nothing else disappeared. Coincidence? It’s hard to stop someone who is used to stealing.

-FF
1986 Fiero 2M6


I hear you on that one dude. My mother did it to me for 47 years. Couldn't turn my back on her or leave her alone anywhere and she would be going through the drawer and cupboards. If she got hold of the car keys she would be searching through that. It wasn't about value with her, it was the power and control. She was going to decide what we were and weren't "allowed " to own.
IP: Logged

next newest topic | next oldest topic

All times are ET (US)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Back To Main Page

Advertizing on PFF | Fiero Parts Vendors
PFF Merchandise | Fiero Gallery | Ogre's Cave
Real-Time Chat | Fiero Related Auctions on eBay



Copyright (c) 1999, C. Pennock