OK, I've had enough of people telling me how to act and what to say. Now I've had a simple email to my home owners association rejected by their server b/c I used 'objectionable words.' Can you guess what they were? (Spoiler-I don't actually know what flagged my message but my second message did get through ...)

ORIGINAL message (rejected):

Hi J-----,

We're set to commence operations on Saturday, Nov 4th, after I return from a 10-day business trip in Europe.

Step 1 - aerate and feed the good sections of the lawn so they will green up
Step 2 - same day, apply broad spectrum herbicide to kill the poor sections and some adjacent area
Step 3 - about a week later, remove the dead sod, rototil in black dirt, then lay new sod.

It should take about two weeks. During that time I might have a pile of dirt then some dead sod on the driveway, with a plastic tarp if rain is in the forecast. As soon as we are done we'll have a hauler take it away. I'll keep you posted.

Sincerely,

John

FOLLOW-UP message (passed):

Hi J----,

We're set to commence operations on Saturday, Nov 4th, after I return from a 10-day business trip in Europe.

Step 1 - aerate and feed the good sections of the lawn so they will green up
Step 2 - same day, apply a broad spectrum herbicide to RENDER NON-LIVING the UNVIBRANT sections and some adjacent area
Step 3 - about a week later, remove the sod THAT HAS PASSED AWAY, rototil in HIGH-QUALITY dirt, then lay new sod.

It should take about two weeks. During that time I might have a pile of dirt then some OLD sod on the driveway, with a plastic tarp if rain is in the forecast. As soon as we are done we'll have a hauler take it away. I'll keep you posted.

Sincerely,

John

TEXT of rejection attachment (for those of you who have nothing to do right now):

Your message has been rejected by our domain due to the use of 550-5.7.1 objectionable words. Please email us using more appropriate 550 5.7.1 language

And there's a reason you live there?

I read the title and thought maybe you made a pass at a waitress.

I'll guess 'kill'.

I'm pretty certain that 2 of Dante's 9 circles of Hell are living in a HOA neighborhood *and* living in Kalifornia.

The idea of having to email someone in order to excuse landscaping work on my own property is beyond my comprehension.

I went and wrote out the offensive words before I got to the 2nd email. The Wife and I laughed. I mean lol'ed. I did not want to offend the millenials.

quote Originally posted by williegoat: I read the title and thought maybe you made a pass at a waitress.

I once had a waitress throw* salad at me and I hadn't even made a pass at her. I did after that though, LOL.

* She actually didn't throw it at me. She was bringing our salads and when she went to set them on the table my friends salad slipped out of her hand. When the salad and plate hit the table, it flung the salad all over me. After the first initial couple seconds of shock, I started laughing and my friend and his girlfriend followed suit quickly. I did succeed at getting her phone number but the roughly 1 hour travel time distance between where I lived and where she lived didn't make any further progression really very probable.

[This message has been edited by Khw (edited 10-15-2017).]

quote Originally posted by randye: I'm pretty certain that 2 of Dante's 9 circles of Hell are living in a HOA neighborhood *and* living in Kalifornia. The idea of having to email someone in order to excuse landscaping work on my own property is beyond my comprehension.

Amen to that.

I had no idea back in '98 that living in a neighborhood with an HOA was such a PITA.

Never again.

I'm surprised they didn't reject your email for using the word 'sod'.

quote Originally posted by Tony Kania: I went and wrote out the offensive words before I got to the 2nd email. The Wife and I laughed. I mean lol'ed. I did not want to offend the millenials.

I'm glad to hear that and sure that I will eventually laugh about it myself

Ill guess words were kill, black, poor.

They should have used Flo

My wife works at a large medical center which includes a medical school, a school of nursing, a teaching hospital, and multiple research facilities. More than a decade ago, some genius decided to embargo the word 'breast(s)' in all inbound or outbound emails. You can imagine the results. One doctor was heard to observe, "I guess we're going to have to start calling it 'hooter cancer'." Eventually reason prevailed, and the 'breast ban' was rescinded within a few days.

[This message has been edited by Marvin McInnis (edited 10-17-2017).]

quote Originally posted by Marvin McInnis: My wife works at a large medical center which includes a teaching hospital and multiple research facilities. More than a decade ago, some genius decided to embargo the word 'breast(s)' in all inbound or outbound emails. You can imagine the results. One doctor was heard to observe, "I guess we're going to have to start calling it 'hooter cancer'." Eventually reason prevailed, and the 'breast ban' was rescinded within a few days.

That is just silly, as it is the correct term. Even as far as the food chicken breast, or a breat pocket.

One I notice on other forums is they do not allow "balls"

[This message has been edited by LitebulbwithaFiero (edited 10-16-2017).]