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Lost the person who inspired me to get into Fieros by Quad Raider
Started on: 10-18-2016 10:24 PM
Replies: 13 (409 views)
Last post by: litespd on 10-21-2016 03:41 PM
Quad Raider
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Report this Post10-18-2016 10:24 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Quad RaiderClick Here to Email Quad RaiderSend a Private Message to Quad RaiderEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post


I've mentioned over the years that I'm doing the world's slowest engine swap. The joke isn't funny anymore. My swap had been interrupted many times by major repairs to other cars in the family, but this summer something much worse happened. My younger brother died of sudden cardiac arrest. He was the reason I got into both Quad 4s and Fieros. He gave me the Beretta GTZ which I fell in love with, and he was the one who told me to go for it when I first had the idea to find a Fiero after the GTZ got too rusty to drive. He'd owned two GTZs and two Fieros over the years so he instantly knew how perfect the Quad would be for a Fiero.

Now that he's gone, I just can't find the desire to work on the car. I've told myself that nothing would be a better tribute to him than finishing the swap and driving the car. I'm posting this because I figure some of you must have dealt with tragedies, too, and maybe you have some wisdom to share about getting past them. Please share it.
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Patrick
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Report this Post10-18-2016 10:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post

I'm very sorry about your brother.

All I can add is that time is the best healer.
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olejoedad
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Report this Post10-18-2016 11:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for olejoedadClick Here to Email olejoedadSend a Private Message to olejoedadEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I am so sorry.
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Dennis LaGrua
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Report this Post10-19-2016 04:38 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Dennis LaGruaClick Here to Email Dennis LaGruaSend a Private Message to Dennis LaGruaEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
So sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. Tragedy is something that eventually hits all of us. Loss is painful and often hard to accept but life must go on. I have lost my first wife, mom, dad, aunts, uncles and a few friends at a young age. I miss them dearly but as Christian I know that they are safe with the Lord and I will be reunited with them one day. Many people of faith believe that death is not the end but the beginning.

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[This message has been edited by Dennis LaGrua (edited 10-19-2016).]

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2.5
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Report this Post10-19-2016 09:49 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 2.5Send a Private Message to 2.5Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
It is very hard. Time does help, it takes time to cope. I'd say being alone makes it harder. You do need to grieve (which is hard to do around others for some). But be with family and friends too. He would want you to strive on. Participate in things. Live your life in a way that would make him proud.
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no2pencil
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Report this Post10-19-2016 11:57 AM Click Here to See the Profile for no2pencilClick Here to Email no2pencilSend a Private Message to no2pencilEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
years ago over the winter I would store my car at my grandparents house way out in the country. When one of my head lights was not working, my grandmother called my car the winker. Once my grandfather hit it when moving a boat & again when I drove it down to Florida to stay with them for a week, my grandfather hit my car, & it still has the scrape.

They are both gone now. They meant the world to me.
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Raydar
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Report this Post10-19-2016 05:58 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother.
Nothing will really help, but time.
18 months ago, I lost a very good friend. Probably one of the first Fiero people I met when I got back into Fieros in '97. His absence still leaves a huge hole.
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Tony Kania
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Report this Post10-19-2016 07:13 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Tony KaniaSend a Private Message to Tony KaniaEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
So very sorry. Thank you greatly for sharing.

Happiness as to the memories shared will get you through.
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Quad Raider
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Report this Post10-19-2016 07:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Quad RaiderClick Here to Email Quad RaiderSend a Private Message to Quad RaiderEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
He would absolutely want me to finish the car. He would love to drive it to see just how awesome the Quad will be in it. His Fieros were both autos so he would love to shift through the Getrag's gears with all that power under his right foot.

Every day I go through the list of tasks to be finished, but most days I don't even get to the shop. When I do get there the car is just a huge reminder that he's gone.
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Patrick
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Report this Post10-19-2016 08:52 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PatrickClick Here to Email PatrickSend a Private Message to PatrickEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Quad Raider:

Every day I go through the list of tasks to be finished, but most days I don't even get to the shop. When I do get there the car is just a huge reminder that he's gone.


Seeing as your brother passed away just a few months ago, your emotions are still going to be quite raw. You will recover... but it does take awhile. I've been down that road with my mom, my dad, my best friend... It hurts bad.

There's no point putting pressure on yourself to get back to working on the car before you're ready. Give yourself enough time to grieve your loss. At some point in the future, you'll awaken one morning and want to get back to tugging wrenches on the Fiero.
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Formula88
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Report this Post10-19-2016 10:35 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Formula88Send a Private Message to Formula88Edit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I'm very sorry for your loss. Time does help, but I can tell you from personal experience that the fact that you both had shared interest in Fieros and the Quad4, finishing that car will be something that you may treasure. It's a tangible thing of something the two of you shared.

 
quote
Originally posted by Quad Raider:

He would absolutely want me to finish the car. He would love to drive it to see just how awesome the Quad will be in it. His Fieros were both autos so he would love to shift through the Getrag's gears with all that power under his right foot.

Every day I go through the list of tasks to be finished, but most days I don't even get to the shop. When I do get there the car is just a huge reminder that he's gone.


Over time, the pain heals and you can remember him fondly without so much pain. You've got to heal before this can be fun again. When telling his stories and reminiscing brings laughter more than the sense of loss, you'll want to revisit this. I'd honestly give yourself at least a year before making any decision on whether to continue the car or not.

[This message has been edited by Formula88 (edited 10-19-2016).]

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Quad Raider
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Report this Post10-20-2016 10:06 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Quad RaiderClick Here to Email Quad RaiderSend a Private Message to Quad RaiderEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
Thank you all for the kind words. I want to finish the car. It's important to me for several reasons.
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Lunatic
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Report this Post10-21-2016 05:43 AM Click Here to See the Profile for LunaticClick Here to Email LunaticSend a Private Message to LunaticEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
I'm sorry to hear of your loss fella. I recently helped a friend in a similar situation as yours. I took it upon myself to drag his friend's car, and all the parts to my place. I then finished the project for him as he wasn't mechanically inclined. It was the least I could for my good friend.

I too would like to see your Quad 4 swap completed. There aren't many Quad 4 swaps out there. I myself am almost done with my Ecotec swap and I look to the days when I can make it to some events and meet some of the great people on this forum.

If you weren't 16 hours from me, I'd lend you a hand. When everything settles down a little, I'm certain your motivation will return.

Keep your friend's memory alive and pick away at the car. It'll all be worth it in the end.

[This message has been edited by Lunatic (edited 10-21-2016).]

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litespd
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Report this Post10-21-2016 03:41 PM Click Here to See the Profile for litespdSend a Private Message to litespdEdit/Delete MessageReply w/QuoteDirect Link to This Post
My condolences on the loss of your brother. I have a story that's similar to yours. My dad and I were very close...more like friends than father and son. He was the person that got me interested in Mustangs. When I was 16, he bought a 67 Mustang convertible that later became my school car. Over the years, he and I both bought and sold several Mustangs, and enjoyed working on them, going to swap meets to find parts, etc. I eventually got married and started a family, so money was tight for me for a while, but eventually, I was able to buy my dream car. It was in desperate need of restoration, but it was going to be a father and son project for my dad and I. I started to slowly collect parts for the restoration, but a couple of years after I bought the car, my dad passed away. I pretty much lost interest in it after that, and it basically sat in my garage for 8 years. I'd start on it every now and again, but just never had the drive to really do much with it. Finally, I sold it when I decided that I would never have the money I needed to do the job properly, and wanted a new boat. I sold it for almost 3 times what I paid for it, but I regretted the sale almost immediately, and to this day, still wish I'd never sold it. Not only did I lose my dream car, but I also gave up on something my dad would have wanted me to finish after he was gone. The car? A 67 Shelby GT350. I knew at the time I'd never be able to afford another one, and now that I'm old and not far from retirement, it only validates that knowledge.

Your Fiero will never be a Shelby...but your brother would want you to finish it, just as my dad would have wanted me to finish my car. You will always regret it if you don't...so just do it. Take your time, take as long as you need to finish it...but do it, for both you AND your brother.
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