OK, a guy I know and consider a friend on some levels is a complete train wreck.....burn-out city.

The guy owned a company that was doing well and a nice guy to joke around with, he worked hard but treatead his staff well, and him and I got into car arguments more than a few times....all fun and games....

Then in july of last year he bought another company, spen 2 months sleeping in his office to get a bankrupt company resurected--showered in a sink and slept on floors and just kept going...OK, kinda wierd when home is 20 minutes away and even if ya had a few after-hours beers a cab aint that bad, but whatever....

Then in october he bought another company in Montreal.....November, December, and January were Ottawa, Gattineu, and Hallifax....

THEN, he went to Florida and bought national rights for canada to a new product that isnt even CLOSE to his product line or expertise...me being a tech, it would be like me going and buying a beauty spa....

And this buds drinking has always been a little....oh, out of controll.....3 days sober would be a life achievement.....

So, I bumped into him today at his office and chatted with a few of his staff (fellow techs in the same very small industry, so its not like we dont know each other).....

What I saw shocked me....The man is barely coherent, hasnt shaved in a week, has been wearing the same clothes for 5 days, hasnt showered in at least 3, has been sleeping on the floor of his office for at least 10 days, and has been drinking heavily for 2 weeks straight (SHEEETTTT----I know him, we can both put down a 12-pack....but I drink my beer straight, he spikes his with something harder)....YES, he is a brilliant buisness guy, and not a bad tech in his own right.....but what I saw today is not the same man I 1st met a year ago.

I guess what I am askin you guys...and whats at risk..is a man who owns a multi-million doller chain of companies...I have enough contacts to get him an intervention, but if I do that its likley going to end up with companies shut down and peple unemployed, and if I dont then its likely to end up with the same thing, and either way millions will be lost.....he grew too big too fast, either way my bud looses a LOT ...so what the soloution?

Thanks guys

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 03-09-2012).]

Sounds like he bit of more than he can handle. It may already be too late.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: OK, a guy I know and consider a friend on some levels is a complete train wreck.....burn-out city. The guy owned a company that was doing well and a nice guy to joke around with, he worked hard but treatead his staff well, and him and I got into car arguments more than a few times....all fun and games.... Then in july of last year he bought another company, spen 2 months sleeping in his office to get a bankrupt company resurected--showered in a sink and slept on floors and just kept going...OK, kinda wierd when home is 20 minutes away and even if ya had a few after-hours beers a cab aint that bad, but whatever.... Then in october he bought another company in Montreal.....November, December, and January were Ottawa, Gattineu, and Hallifax.... THEN, he went to Florida and bought national rights for canada to a new product that isnt even CLOSE to his product line or expertise...me being a tech, it would be like me going and buying a beauty spa.... And this buds drinking has always been a little....oh, out of controll.....3 days sober would be a life achievement..... So, I bumped into him today at his office and chatted with a few of his staff (fellow techs in the same very small industry, so its not like we dont know each other)..... What I saw shocked me....The man is barely coherent, hasnt shaved in a week, has been wearing the same clothes for 5 days, hasnt showered in at least 3, has been sleeping on the floor of his office for at least 10 days, and has been drinking heavily for 2 weeks straight (SHEEETTTT----I know him, we can both put down a 12-pack....but I drink my beer straight, he spikes his with something harder)....YES, he is a brilliant buisness guy, and not a bad tech in his own right.....but what I saw today is not the same man I 1st met a year ago. I guess what I am askin you guys...and whats at risk..is a man who owns a multi-million doller chain of companies...I have enough contacts to get him an intervention, but if I do that its likley going to end up with companies shut down and peple unemployed, and if I dont then its likely to end up with the same thing, and either way millions will be lost.....he grew too big too fast, either way my bud looses a LOT ...so what the soloution? Thanks guys

Is it possible to maybe get the people who are the lead of the company just under him, and maybe force him to take a vacation? Can the businesses not run without him in the short term? Are you worried that he maybe gets pissed and fires everyone when they confront him?

Todd

quote Originally posted by 82-T/A [At Work]: Is it possible to maybe get the people who are the lead of the company just under him, and maybe force him to take a vacation? Can the businesses not run without him in the short term? Are you worried that he maybe gets pissed and fires everyone when they confront him? Todd

Right now I am more worried about his life....the guy did a lot for me personally and was a good friend---hell what he did for me not even family did...he got me an intervention when I was out-of-control......but no, the corprorate board is all family so it aint gonna happen.

Talk to him yourself, drunk or not he may listen to you, he may not but you sound like you care enough about him that he just might open up to you. He might not but it’s worth a try, for him he might open up because you are friends. He needs a friend who is not going to judge him just be a friend and listen if he wants to talk. Some alcoholics won’t quit until they hit rock bottom, some it doesn’t but if you are willing to listen to him first and then tell him you think he is screwing up and you care. Maybe he will listen, maybe not and then you will have to go the other route, but at least try.

He sounds like he needs it, you may not know what his problem is really, and it could be something that is driving him to drink more. Or it could just be is just another drunk.

Try to help him however you think you can and would be the most successful.

Steve

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Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: Right now I am more worried about his life....the guy did a lot for me personally and was a good friend---hell what he did for me not even family did...he got me an intervention when I was out-of-control......but no, the corprorate board is all family so it aint gonna happen.

I agree with Steve. Talk to him. I'd probably do that first, and go to the family before any intervention.

Then talk to the family and get their input. Your actions could easily destroy all of his businesses, or at least his involvement in them. Yes, he may lose it all anyway, but that's not by your direct actions. I'm not saying don't do it, but consider carefully the possible consequences for him, both if you do and if you don't act. If the family is the corporate board, there's a good chance they can continue to run things while he gets help without tossing him out. Maybe not, but it's a better shot than if the board wasn't family/friends.

If you don't have the support of the family, you're going to have a hard time with the intervention anyway.

[This message has been edited by Formula88 (edited 03-09-2012).]

It may be time for intervention, before its to late...

Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston* are prime examples why.

*suspected reason why she passed, not proven yet

before anyone thinks i am picking on W.H. know this, she is a cousin of mine.

[This message has been edited by htexans1 (edited 03-09-2012).]

quote Originally posted by 84fiero123: Or it could just be is just another drunk. Steve

Steve....thats just uncalled for.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: What do I say to that, man?...anything I could say about her would just be taken wrong, so you and Donni just remember the lady, and we can fight the public after-issues later.

MEM, please don't let that stop you from saying what you think. As far as I'm concerned, that matter is a closed book... here.

Having been down this road...................

Good luck with it. I once worked for one of the best and brightest in the drilling business, a devout workholic, a good friend, but he liked his booze, and it ran his life. Nothing any of us said or did had any affect, and it ultimately led to his failure as a business person. Everyone knew he was more than capable, but the demon was HIS boss, so--well, it was just sad to watch as his company went bankrupt and the bank took it. I saw him get his butt kicked 3 times--in the same night--by the same guy! After the 1st loss, he came back to the table, sat down, had a couple more Crown and cokes, and said to me "Don, I think I can do better than that". Wrong. That was back in the 70s-80s, and I lost track of him after I moved to West Texas, but tried to find him again a couple of months ago. Didn't take long. Google showed several hits on his name, all associated with more recent company bankruptcy filings, the most recent being just last year in Houston, but others involving S. America and Canadian oilfield ventures before that.

You can say what you wish to your friend, but until he's ready to change and shake the monkey off, it probably won't do much good.

I had an intervention one time for no real good reason... someone was driving like a jag around my fiero that had just been painted and I told them it would probably be their last act if they kept it up. Next thing I know, I have "violence/anger issues". Yeah, so what? It IS my fiero we were talking about. Anyhow, it was taken out of context and suddenly I was a bad guy because the physical possessions I sweat and bled for were just "things". Next thing you know I am surrounded by "friends" who are "concerned."

Anyhow, I resented the crap out of it. He may too. Especially since he's a succesful dude... who are his underlings to say anything?

I would recommend, if you can get some time alone, telling him he looks like shheeeit and see what happens from there. Maybe remind him his public image is part of his success. No shame in partying, but I myself am an "after 8" guy... when the sun is shining I make hay. When the moon comes up, I howl at it. Used to be a time I was blitzed, all day, every day.. just like your buddy. You know who decided it was time to change that?

Me.

He'll either solve his problems because he wants to, or he'll continue on until death or failure are his only two possible destinations. Its cool that you care, but HE needs to care.

[This message has been edited by tbone42 (edited 03-10-2012).]

quote Originally posted by Doni Hagan: MEM, please don't let that stop you from saying what you think. As far as I'm concerned, that matter is a closed book... here.

Likewise, I agree with Doni, its a free forum here. Speak up.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: Steve....thats just uncalled for.

I think you took that wrong MM, I’m just another drunk myself, recovering alcoholic who didn’t have a drink for 25 years. Until after my bypass surgery when my surgeon recommended 3 beers a week. I was what was called a functioning drunk, went to work every day paid my bills but was drunk 24/7. I got up and had a beer with breakfast; there were no underlying reasons for it other than it was in my case hereditary. But I was a nasty drunk; I would pick a fight with just about anyone for no real reason.
Do you know his mom and dad? Talk to them and then him or vs versa, but talk to him at least. Some drunks won’t listen to anyone but the bottle or until they hit rock bottom. That may be what it takes for him to realize he is a drunk.

I did the AA thing, thought the steps were great until I got to the higher power BS, I don’t believe in god so that just turned me off to that because we are all in charge of everything we do, not god. But AA did help me to see what I was doing to myself and those around me; I loved Saturday night live as they called it. See they have no limits on who walks in to any meeting except that one, only members can go to that meeting. We would break up into small groups of 6 or so and talk about our weeks happenings. If we were sober or drunk it didn’t matter, we just talked. And the stories I heard and told during those meetings opened my eyes more than any other meeting I attended.

So my calling him a drunk was not something I take lightly, I’m a drunk and always will be, you never stop being one until the day you die. But that doesn’t make you a bad person, just someone who has a problem just like anyone else with an addiction or disease.

I hope he will listen to you or his family, me my family was nothing but a bunch of drunks except for my mom, she was an enabler. She never drank but she never helped any of us try to stop ether.
Good luck with you friend, you are going to need it, I hope things work out for him I really do and if you or he ever need to talk to an old drunk give me a call, skype me if you like I will always answer for someone who needs help from this problem because I know just how hard it is to win this battle.

Steve

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Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't http://serve.mysmiley.net/c...rs/character0029.gif
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

How about a list of people with abuse problems that they overcame: Eric Clapton, Robin Williams, Oprah Winfrey, Miles Davis, Stephen King, Anthony Kiedis, Demi Moore, Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke, Christopher Lawford Kennedy, Dave Navarro, Chris Mullin, Robert Parrish

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: ....the guy did a lot for me personally and was a good friend....

Sounds like you already have your answer. But you will lose him as a friend if you do something.

[This message has been edited by Nurb432 (edited 03-10-2012).]

quote Originally posted by Nurb432: Sounds like you already have your answer. But you will lose him as a friend if you do nothing.

There fixed that for you.

steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't http://serve.mysmiley.net/c...rs/character0029.gif
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

quote Originally posted by 84fiero123: I think you took that wrong MM, I’m just another drunk myself, recovering alcoholic who didn’t have a drink for 25 years. Until after my bypass surgery when my surgeon recommended 3 beers a week. I was what was called a functioning drunk, went to work every day paid my bills but was drunk 24/7. I got up and had a beer with breakfast; there were no underlying reasons for it other than it was in my case hereditary. But I was a nasty drunk; I would pick a fight with just about anyone for no real reason. Do you know his mom and dad? Talk to them and then him or vs versa, but talk to him at least. Some drunks won’t listen to anyone but the bottle or until they hit rock bottom. That may be what it takes for him to realize he is a drunk. I did the AA thing, thought the steps were great until I got to the higher power BS, I don’t believe in god so that just turned me off to that because we are all in charge of everything we do, not god. But AA did help me to see what I was doing to myself and those around me; I loved Saturday night live as they called it. See they have no limits on who walks in to any meeting except that one, only members can go to that meeting. We would break up into small groups of 6 or so and talk about our weeks happenings. If we were sober or drunk it didn’t matter, we just talked. And the stories I heard and told during those meetings opened my eyes more than any other meeting I attended. So my calling him a drunk was not something I take lightly, I’m a drunk and always will be, you never stop being one until the day you die. But that doesn’t make you a bad person, just someone who has a problem just like anyone else with an addiction or disease. I hope he will listen to you or his family, me my family was nothing but a bunch of drunks except for my mom, she was an enabler. She never drank but she never helped any of us try to stop ether. Good luck with you friend, you are going to need it, I hope things work out for him I really do and if you or he ever need to talk to an old drunk give me a call, skype me if you like I will always answer for someone who needs help from this problem because I know just how hard it is to win this battle. Steve

I hear ya, and I apolagize...myself, I always liked my beer but went beyond all reason a few years ago....too much pressure, too much emotional pain, too many losses in too short a time and I ended up putting down a 24 on friday night, another two on saturday, and was getting impatient for the beer store to open on noon on sunday...I was literally drinking 100 to 120 beers every weekend, and come monday morning I wasnt much good to anybody.....it took a good azz-kicking to set my head straight. I still dont mind a case over a weekend, but nowhere near 100. 24 over 3 days will do the trick.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: I hear ya, and I apolagize...myself, I always liked my beer but went beyond all reason a few years ago....too much pressure, too much emotional pain, too many losses in too short a time and I ended up putting down a 24 on friday night, another two on saturday, and was getting impatient for the beer store to open on noon on sunday...I was literally drinking 100 to 120 beers every weekend, and come monday morning I wasnt much good to anybody.....it took a good azz-kicking to set my head straight. I still dont mind a case over a weekend, but nowhere near 100. 24 over 3 days will do the trick.

No problem I knew you didn’t know what I was saying or maybe that you didn’t realize I was a drunk to.

Just be careful with your friend, like I said he may have to hit rock bottom to get to the point where he will listen. I hope not and I hope like you it was stress related and he can cut down at least like you did. For me it took loosing Melanie to wake me up, I didn’t realize I was drinking too much until she left me. My friends were no help ether; they were all drunks or even worse drunks after her. I just couldn’t lose her, she is the best thing that ever happened to me and that scared me straight.

Like I said if you or he want to talk to me feel free to give me a call or Skype, just send me a PM and I will give you my numbers. I know just how hard it is to quit, I was up to over a case a day and was able to function normally, well except for being a complete A hole.

Good luck no matter what you do and I hope you can help your friend really.

Steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't http://serve.mysmiley.net/c...rs/character0029.gif
Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.