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Tried to help family out and got burnt by fierowitch
Started on: 05-14-2011 07:07 AM
Replies: 47
Last post by: 84fiero123 on 05-16-2011 03:11 PM
fierowitch
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Report this Post05-14-2011 07:07 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierowitchSend a Private Message to fierowitchDirect Link to This Post
Moved Steves (84fiero123) daughter 2 kids and boyfriend here a month ago. They were getting evicted. Had not paid rent in 9 months. I rented a U-Haul truck, and a storage unit. I paid for all of it. They lived here FREE,got fed, got the kids in school. Boyfriend would not get off of his but to look for work. Steve(84fiero123)Yelled at him about being responsible. Packed the computer,Xbox and clothes, told us they were going to a hotel for a couple of days to give eachother some space. They went back to Massachusetts. We went to the storage unit yesterday to see they had changed the lock. The unit is not in their name. We were willing to help to give them a new start. Now I feel that they should pay back what it cost to move them!!! What do you think
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Report this Post05-14-2011 07:36 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishDirect Link to This Post
Yes.
Nick.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 07:53 AM Click Here to See the Profile for maryjaneSend a Private Message to maryjaneDirect Link to This Post
I've been in this boat more than once with my own grown kids as well as with a member of Jane's family. Won't go into any details, but got burned each time. Yep, FW, they owe you & Steve some $$, an apology, and some gratitude.

(a bit of personal and unsolicited advice follows)
BUT--don't let it come between or be an issue between you and Steve. No matter how well one raises their kids, once grown, they will turn out however they want to in spite of everything ya do.
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Old Lar
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:01 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Old LarSend a Private Message to Old LarDirect Link to This Post
If the rental unit is in your name a bolt cutter will work. Unfortunately some people feel entitled to a free ride and are offended when their needs are not met.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:02 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post
Helping family is always a double edged sword and you often damned if you do, damned if you don't. Not being vindictive, but if its not their unit, cut the lock off and collect enough to compensate you then lock it back up. its only fair after being treated poorly.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:06 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonDirect Link to This Post
Send them a nice note that you let the storage unit go back to the owner, that due to the lock you were not able to recover any of their stuff and it now belongs to the storage owner.
up to you if that is actually what happened, personally its your unit and anything put in it belongs to you.

Its too painful right now but one day I will tell everyone my story. I just hope it doesn't ruin my marriage.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:11 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Jake_Dragon:

Send them a nice note that you let the storage unit go back to the owner, that due to the lock you were not able to recover any of their stuff and it now belongs to the storage owner.
up to you if that is actually what happened, personally its your unit and anything put in it belongs to you.

Its too painful right now but one day I will tell everyone my story. I just hope it doesn't ruin my marriage.


I'm thinking its their unit? ( 123/witch, not the kids )
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Indyellowgt
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:23 AM Click Here to See the Profile for IndyellowgtClick Here to Email IndyellowgtSend a Private Message to IndyellowgtDirect Link to This Post
Sorry you got burnt my man. No good deed goes unpuninshed,right? The white trash "boyfriend" needs his ass kicked all over the place. Tired of hearing about people that don't pull their own weight,expect everyone else to carry them AND have a sense of entitlement about it all.. A$$holes.....
Looks like 84fiero123 needs to step up to the plate and take care of you and then chase after his deadbeat family to recoup the loss....
Sorry for being so harsh,but I work hard everyday. I have my own business and pay $$$$taxes$$$$ to this black-hole of a Welfare State. Sick of it.

There is 5 out of 10(or many more depending) that are deadbeat **** -bums just like described here in this state....

/Rant/

[This message has been edited by Indyellowgt (edited 05-14-2011).]

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cliffw
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:24 AM Click Here to See the Profile for cliffwClick Here to Email cliffwSend a Private Message to cliffwDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by fierowitch:
Moved Steves (84fiero123) daughter 2 kids and boyfriend here a month ago. I rented a U-Haul truck, and a storage unit. I paid for all of it. They lived here FREE,got fed ...
Now I feel that they should pay back what it cost to move them!!! What do you think

I think you got off pretty cheap, in the grand scheme of things. They will probably never ever ask you for a dime again the rest of your lives.
Why wasn't daughter looking for a job ?
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avengador1
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:41 AM Click Here to See the Profile for avengador1Click Here to Email avengador1Send a Private Message to avengador1Direct Link to This Post
Good luck getting a dime from them, especially if you didn't have any written agreement with them or received any payments from them. You got burnt. If the storage unit is in your name, cut the lock off and put your own on again. Make sure the manager there knows they don't have your permission for access. You could also terminate your contract and let the place take over the unit. They usually auction off the contents of abandoned units. If you do this , they may be able to sue you for the loss of their property if you didn't give them any warning about it.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:44 AM Click Here to See the Profile for datacopClick Here to visit datacop's HomePageClick Here to Email datacopSend a Private Message to datacopDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by fierowitch:

Moved Steves (84fiero123) daughter 2 kids and boyfriend here a month ago. They were getting evicted. Had not paid rent in 9 months. I rented a U-Haul truck, and a storage unit. I paid for all of it. They lived here FREE,got fed, got the kids in school. Boyfriend would not get off of his but to look for work. Steve(84fiero123)Yelled at him about being responsible. Packed the computer,Xbox and clothes, told us they were going to a hotel for a couple of days to give eachother some space. They went back to Massachusetts. We went to the storage unit yesterday to see they had changed the lock. The unit is not in their name. We were willing to help to give them a new start. Now I feel that they should pay back what it cost to move them!!! What do you think


Do they owe you? Yes.. will you *EVER* see anything.. no, you won't.. ever. I'm sorry
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Report this Post05-14-2011 08:48 AM Click Here to See the Profile for IndyellowgtClick Here to Email IndyellowgtSend a Private Message to IndyellowgtDirect Link to This Post
He will never see a cent... sucks his good will was wasted....
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Report this Post05-14-2011 09:02 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Jake_DragonSend a Private Message to Jake_DragonDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Nurb432:


I'm thinking its their unit? ( 123/witch, not the kids )


I meant the rental company. Anything left in storage after they stop paying for it will belong to the rental company.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 09:04 AM Click Here to See the Profile for bristowbSend a Private Message to bristowbDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Indyellowgt:

Sorry you got burnt my man. No good deed goes unpuninshed,right? The white trash "boyfriend" needs his ass kicked all over the place. Tired of hearing about people that don't pull their own weight,expect everyone else to carry them AND have a sense of entitlement about it all.. A$$holes.....
Looks like 84fiero123 needs to step up to the plate and take care of you and then chase after his deadbeat family to recoup the loss....
Sorry for being so harsh,but I work hard everyday. I have my own business and pay $$$$taxes$$$$ to this black-hole of a Welfare State. Sick of it.

There is 5 out of 10(or many more depending) that are deadbeat **** -bums just like described here in this state....

/Rant/



I agree. I own my own business. Nothing like a bunch of liberals. Will take all they want but don't want to put anything toward a good day of hard work.
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84fiero123
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Report this Post05-14-2011 09:19 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fiero123Click Here to Email 84fiero123Send a Private Message to 84fiero123Direct Link to This Post
A little background,
My oldest daughter and her two boys and live in boyfriend of the last ten years. They all came up here and stayed at our home, it is not big, three bedrooms. So we were on top of each other, the boys got the spare bedroom. The adults, and I am using that term VERY loosely, stayed on our fold out couch.

We offered them help buying a house, I didn’t want to do that because of past history of my oldest. Well the house we found would not pass an inspection for any loan amount that I felt comfortable with. They were always calling for money the last few years. And as Melanie said were 9 months behind on their rental apt. I didn’t want to have to worry about Melanie and Amanda losing this place because they needed to pay for their drugs before they paid their rent. So that house went by the wayside. But we did find them a older 2 bedroom mobile home in a trailer park that we could pay cash for and all they would need to pay was,
Lot rent, $160 a month,
Electric, $20 or $30 a month,
Direct TV or what ever they chose,

But the thing was all we would have to worry about was the lot rent to make sure the boys had a roof over their heads. Mom didn’t like it.

They used our computer everyday, supposedly to look for work. I checked history every nigh before I went to bed and when I first got up.

The only thing any of them did was yak on face book. The adults or kids, they all lived on face book. Well the boys did spend as much time on you tube. But my daughter never even looked for a job, and her boyfriend only looked a 2 on the computer and never went into town to apply for any jobs.

His resume to follow.
********************************************
Objective Permanent employment

Experience [driver]
[Sept. 07-April 11] [wings over Worcester, [Worcester ma.]
[Deliveries,prep,cleaning,and maintenance]


[forklift operator]
[jan.07-sep.07] [Riverdale mills]
Transporting materials for fencing machines, emptying dumpsters,misc.help.

[assistant mng.]
[June 03-Jan 07] [Namco], [Auburn Ma.]
[sales,training,inventory,mng.duties]


[clerk]
[June 98-Dec 02 [U.S.Post Office], [Shrewsbury Ma.
Sorting mail,loading,unloading trucks pallet jack operating ]


Education [Doherty High School], [Worcester Ma.]
[1992-1996]
[Diploma]
[Special award/accomplishment]

Interests [I like accomplishing tasks,and improving things in life]

References References are available on request.

**************************************************************************
I offered, Melanie offered, even Melanie’s intern (a graduating college student) offered to help with the resume. He didn’t let anyone help him.

I showed him the program in the computer, he filled it out, that above is it. That was what he sent a local auto parts store for employment. He said no one took job applications in person. I know better. Most of the businesses in town are not that way, the bigger ones yes but we have way more small businesses in town than anything else. And the college in town is graduating today so all those small businesses are looking for replacements for all those graduating students that are leaving.

See the thing is the last few years all he did was deliveries for wings and things. With his mothers car, these two were both in their 30’s. he got 5 or 6 bucks an hour plus tips, no mileage reimbursement or anything else. Nether one of them can afford to have a car, or insurance, or maintain one.

He never put any money away, just blew it on dope for him and my oldest. They never had food in the house when we went there. So we would always bring coolers full of frozen meats from the farm here.

The boys, 9 and 13 had 7 pairs of jeans between them.

Anyway them changing the lock on the storage unit was the last straw for me when I went to put the bed and the rest of the stuff they left here in it. I rented the unit, it is in my name, I had bought a good master lock on it and gave them a key. He went and bought a cheap $2.00 lock at ChinaMart and took mine off.

Well I have to put their stuff in that unit, at my backs expense and it is in my name. I helped load the stuff into that unit. There is nothing worth anything except to the boys. I will not take anything from the boys. It is not their fault their mother is a worthless drug addict.

I was making the boys a set of bunk beds for the boys for the new place so they had more room in their smaller room.

Ya I blew up at the boyfriend, he hasn’t done a thing to find a job. I told him the wings delivery boy was not a job for an adult with no car of their own. He put more in the gas tank a week than he got for a paycheck. He just liked it because he could drive around all night and get high.

Now you guys have known me a few years, I smoke the occasional joint. So I don’t have a problem with that. But when you haven’t got enough money to pay your rent you don’t buy weed. Something they haven’t figured out yet and the reason they were here in the first place.

Jesus I’m writing a book.

Well I’m a welder/fabricator/ironworker/farmer, I have the tools to cut the lock off right in my shop. I will cut the lock off and put their stuff in our house in the unit.

I am drafting a letter to her because she pulled me from her face book friends list. I will send it to his email address and her face book if it will get to her. I am sure he will just delete it before reading it or letting her read it. She doesn't answer our calls.

We will see.

No matter what they will have to come see me to get into their storage unit now because if I have to cut the lock off to put their stuff in there I will put a new master lock on it so it is locked.

Steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't.

Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

[This message has been edited by 84fiero123 (edited 05-14-2011).]

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Indyellowgt
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Report this Post05-14-2011 09:24 AM Click Here to See the Profile for IndyellowgtClick Here to Email IndyellowgtSend a Private Message to IndyellowgtDirect Link to This Post
Sorry you are going thru this,Steve...
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84fiero123
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Report this Post05-14-2011 09:57 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fiero123Click Here to Email 84fiero123Send a Private Message to 84fiero123Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by cliffw:

I think you got off pretty cheap, in the grand scheme of things. They will probably never ever ask you for a dime again the rest of your lives.
Why wasn't daughter looking for a job ?


Neither one of them could pass a piss, drug test to save their lives, never mind get a job.
That was just it Cliff, with my health the way it is I could die tomorrow, hopefully not but hey I ain’t 20 years old anymore. Hell I ain’t 30 years old anymore. I didn’t want to chance that Melanie would end up having to pay for my kids stupidity if something happens to me.

Steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't.

Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

[This message has been edited by 84fiero123 (edited 05-14-2011).]

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James Bond 007
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Report this Post05-14-2011 10:10 AM Click Here to See the Profile for James Bond 007Send a Private Message to James Bond 007Direct Link to This Post
I agree,drugs and or alcohal, and Ive been through a simular situation.A friend was going to be homeless and no car or a job.I was going to let him stay, as long as it took, for him to get a realley good car and a job and a good start on life again.Well after 2 months not looking for work,and calling me at 10:00pm at night to pick him up at the bus stop (didnt actualley get back till 10:30p.m.for me to sleep).Then he would stay awake at night till 1:00 or 2:00a.m.,makeing noise,opening drawers,running the printer.After 2 months,I told him he has to go! Out,Out,Out!

[This message has been edited by James Bond 007 (edited 05-14-2011).]

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Report this Post05-14-2011 11:21 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 8BallClick Here to Email 8BallSend a Private Message to 8BallDirect Link to This Post
Family will ALWAYS Screw you first.

I have never had ANYONE screw me over so badly as family has. My now Ex-Favorite uncle in the whole world Stole everything my wife and I owned a few years ago. I will NEVER forgive him for that.. And I mean EVERYTHING!! All the way down to our wedding photos and clothes!

So hell yes make them pay you back! Take em to court and teach them a very very hard life lesson that they need to learn... DON'T SCREW FAMILY!!!
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Report this Post05-14-2011 11:48 AM Click Here to See the Profile for 1988holleyformulaSend a Private Message to 1988holleyformulaDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by 84fiero123:


Now you guys have known me a few years, I smoke the occasional joint. So I don’t have a problem with that. But when you haven’t got enough money to pay your rent you don’t buy weed. Something they haven’t figured out yet and the reason they were here in the first place.

Steve


It just blows me away that someone can buy drugs before food for their family. Its really a shame, and I hate that this is the image that most people who are anti-drug (marijuana) have in their heads. As a society, we only see the failure drug addicts, and then that opinion is placed on anyone who lights up occasionally. \

Hope everything works out Steve and Melanie!
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Report this Post05-14-2011 01:38 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierowitchSend a Private Message to fierowitchDirect Link to This Post
The kids said all they were eating was mac and cheese and Ramen noodle soup.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 02:03 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by 8Ball:

Family will ALWAYS Screw you first.

I have never had ANYONE screw me over so badly as family has. My now Ex-Favorite uncle in the whole world Stole everything my wife and I owned a few years ago. I will NEVER forgive him for that.. And I mean EVERYTHING!! All the way down to our wedding photos and clothes!

So hell yes make them pay you back! Take em to court and teach them a very very hard life lesson that they need to learn... DON'T SCREW FAMILY!!!


My family is different, but i do understand lots are that way and cant be trusted.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 02:04 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Nurb432Send a Private Message to Nurb432Direct Link to This Post

Nurb432

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Member since May 2006
 
quote
Originally posted by 1988holleyformula:


It just blows me away that someone can buy drugs before food for their family. Its really a shame, and I hate that this is the image that most people who are anti-drug (marijuana) have in their heads. As a society, we only see the failure drug addicts, and then that opinion is placed on anyone who lights up occasionally. \

Hope everything works out Steve and Melanie!


People will spend their $ on a lot of things and let family suffer. Doesn't even have to be drugs.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 02:06 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BlackThunderGTSend a Private Message to BlackThunderGTDirect Link to This Post
I had to develop a policy to live by when it comes to family and friends.

I don’t loan money to family or friends period! If I have the money I will give it freely without condition or expiations of any funds being returned to me. If I don’t have the money I will tell them I can not help at this time (it’s OK to say no) and offer whatever advice I can to help their situation.

This policy works for me and I don’t feel any stress over money anymore since I started living by it. I recently gave my son several thousand dollars to have his motor rebuilt in his SUV. I feel good that I was able to help out when needed.

Steve, good luck I hope all works out for y’all.
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Report this Post05-14-2011 02:34 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Formula88Send a Private Message to Formula88Direct Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by BlackThunderGT:

I had to develop a policy to live by when it comes to family and friends.

I don’t loan money to family or friends period! If I have the money I will give it freely without condition or expiations of any funds being returned to me. If I don’t have the money I will tell them I can not help at this time (it’s OK to say no) and offer whatever advice I can to help their situation.

This policy works for me and I don’t feel any stress over money anymore since I started living by it. I recently gave my son several thousand dollars to have his motor rebuilt in his SUV. I feel good that I was able to help out when needed.

Steve, good luck I hope all works out for y’all.


This is fantastic advice.
Anytime you loan family or friends money or help in any way, do it without expecting anything in return. If they do pay you back, bonus, but don't expect it and don't be upset if they don't.

fierowitch, since the storage unit is in your name, I'd definitely talk to the storage facility and either cut that lock off and put your own back on, or tell the facility to end your rental immediately and they can have whatever is in the unit. Whatever you do, get rid of that storage facility as fast as possible. If they put any illegal material in there while it's in your name, you can get in trouble.

[This message has been edited by Formula88 (edited 05-14-2011).]

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madcurl
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Report this Post05-14-2011 02:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for madcurlClick Here to Email madcurlSend a Private Message to madcurlDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by fierowitch:

Moved Steves (84fiero123) daughter 2 kids and boyfriend here a month ago. They were getting evicted. Had not paid rent in 9 months. I rented a U-Haul truck, and a storage unit. I paid for all of it. They lived here FREE,got fed, got the kids in school. Boyfriend would not get off of his but to look for work. Steve(84fiero123)Yelled at him about being responsible. Packed the computer,Xbox and clothes, told us they were going to a hotel for a couple of days to give eachother some space. They went back to Massachusetts. We went to the storage unit yesterday to see they had changed the lock. The unit is not in their name. We were willing to help to give them a new start. Now I feel that they should pay back what it cost to move them!!! What do you think


Do nothing. You've been hosed, so move on. Learn from the experience and remember,
” Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Thus you where fooled only once. Shame on them.

I have relatives who hosed my aunt. Ran up her land line phone bill to $1200, cell phone bill $500, and feed the low life boyfriend food from the frig for weeks on end. She played "possum" (a stupid cry for help at keeping the low life boy friend) swallowed my aunt's heart bills, but some how managed to call the paramedics before passing out. That paramedic bill totaled nearly $2000. After all that-she was kicked out of the house and then she broke back in. It was then that my aunt let that mule go.

I have a rule: Never trust family members. If they're going to college or some type of training school were I can monitor them that's different, but they must submit proof. If not-all bets are off.

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Report this Post05-14-2011 03:18 PM Click Here to See the Profile for jacknightSend a Private Message to jacknightDirect Link to This Post
Kick the BF out, tell him to never come back, If the girl wants him, then she can go on the street with the ****er, or she can find someone that can provide for her. either way ****'em
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Report this Post05-14-2011 03:33 PM Click Here to See the Profile for MidEngineManiacSend a Private Message to MidEngineManiacDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by madcurl:


I have a rule: Never trust family members. If they're going to college or some type of training school were I can monitor them that's different, but they must submit proof. If not-all bets are off.


My dad was like that years ago, tried to micro-manage my life and thought I should "report" to him well into my 30's....he got told to eff right off, and there were a few times fists flew over it....it worked out for the best though, now he is in his 80's and my brother and sister wont do CRAP for him...I still dont answer to any authority he thinks he has, and do as I damn well please.....but I am there every thursday to take out the gabage he cant anymore, cut the grass, shovel the snow...and every so often have one of those old power struggles where he thinks he is in charge again

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twofatguys
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Report this Post05-14-2011 03:36 PM Click Here to See the Profile for twofatguysClick Here to Email twofatguysSend a Private Message to twofatguysDirect Link to This Post

I think a lot of us have dealt with leeches in one way or another.

What sucks is when it is family. It's a lot harder to deal with family doing this stuff, you expect strangers to screw you over for the most part. With family it's somehow more personal.

The part we have problems with in dead beat relatives, is that when we finally "blow", and tell them what we think, they usually use their kids as "pawns", and don't let us see them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One time when my youngest brother decided to chase some tail across the country we went over to his house (which he hadn't paid on in months.) and I packed everything into a storage unit that I paid for.

I called and told him about the storage unit, and told him that if he wanted the stuff, it was 30 bucks a month.

I never saw a dime, and after paying for 6 months, I told the manager he could have the contents. Me having any of it, even though there was some nice stuff, would have caused fights later with family.

He came back a year or so later, and wanted to know where his stuff was. Mom told him it was gone, and it took him awhile to talk to me. He still blames me for "losing his stuff" even though I went on my own accord, and saved it from the bank. Then I paid for storage out of my own pocket for 6 months while talking to him regularly about it.

Drugs do something to their heads, I know he wasn't raised that way.

Heh, that same brother I sold my beloved El Dorado to for 600 bucks. He needed a car, and I begrudgingly sold it. 600 bucks, half what it was on the kbb.

When I sold it I told him it was due an oil change, he asked about putting a hitch on it (since I was a welder) and I told him that that car wouldn't hold up to towing for very long, and wouldn't do it.

Fast forward a few months. He calls Mom from Oklahoma, he was pulling a Uhaul trailer and the motor just "locked up". Turns out he got 2 tickets for speeding in Oklahoma that day I don't recall the speeds, but well over what you should when pulling a brick down the highway.

He called me an hour or so after calling Mom wanting his money back for the car, since I sold him a @#$@! lemon. When I refused he said that I needed to get out there with a truck and pick him up. I just hung up.

Family is awesome.

Brad
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84fiero123
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Report this Post05-14-2011 04:19 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fiero123Click Here to Email 84fiero123Send a Private Message to 84fiero123Direct Link to This Post
That’s just it I have never expected any money back from them. They are young and she is my oldest daughter (37) and you can’t blame the kids for their mother. And we couldn’t let the grandkids not have a roof over their heads.

I knew then and now that I will never get any of the money back it cost us to get them here and set up. I will not sell any of their stuff, especially the grand kids. But I will also not continue to pay their storage unit.

Thanks for letting us vent.

Steve

------------------
Technology is great when it works,
and one big pain in the ass when it doesn't.

Detroit iron rules all the rest are just toys.

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aceman
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Report this Post05-14-2011 04:54 PM Click Here to See the Profile for acemanSend a Private Message to acemanDirect Link to This Post
Steve,
Have you thought about attempting voluntary or even involuntary court appointed custody of your grandchildren and give them a more stable and healthy home environment?
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Shananigans
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Report this Post05-14-2011 05:39 PM Click Here to See the Profile for ShananigansSend a Private Message to ShananigansDirect Link to This Post
It sure is nice knowing there are people like you who will bend over backwards to help those in need and I applaud you for that. It's too bad some people will just take advantage of you if you let them. Unfortunately you were used and taken advantage of. There are some who would truly appreciate what you have done for them, but others couldn't give a rats ass and have no gratitude no matter what you have done to help them. Unfortunately, you will more than likely not recoup any money that you have shelled out. At least you can sleep at night knowing you do your fair share to help humanity. What goes around comes around and I think you have something good coming just around the bend. Forget about and don't dwell on your losses,it's over and there is nothing you can do about it. You seem like a good caring person, hard to find people like you in these days and times. You really have gained through this experience whether you know it or not. I think you just need to change your perspective.
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fierowitch
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Report this Post05-14-2011 05:47 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierowitchSend a Private Message to fierowitchDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by aceman:

Steve,
Have you thought about attempting voluntary or even involuntary court appointed custody of your grandchildren and give them a more stable and healthy home environment?


Yes we have. Now that they are back in Massachusetts I have a lawyer friend there. After all of the $$$$$ we spent moving them here, and caring for them, we would not be able to afford it.
I feel bad for the kids and would take them but it will cost toooooo much to do it.
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MidEngineManiac
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Report this Post05-14-2011 06:05 PM Click Here to See the Profile for MidEngineManiacSend a Private Message to MidEngineManiacDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by 84fiero123:

That’s just it I have never expected any money back from them. They are young and she is my oldest daughter (37) and you can’t blame the kids for their mother. And we couldn’t let the grandkids not have a roof over their heads.

I knew then and now that I will never get any of the money back it cost us to get them here and set up. I will not sell any of their stuff, especially the grand kids. But I will also not continue to pay their storage unit.

Thanks for letting us vent.

Steve



That I dont get Steve...my dad now has FULL access to my bank account. His own card, his own pin...all he has to do is stop at the machine and take whatever and call me that he did it..he raised me, he loaned my way thru flight school and a business degree, we may have fought, but he is still dad and has every right, imho, to whatever he needs.
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Blacktree
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Report this Post05-14-2011 06:08 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BlacktreeClick Here to visit Blacktree's HomePageClick Here to Email BlacktreeSend a Private Message to BlacktreeDirect Link to This Post
Steve, I can sympathize. My family has its fair share of douchebags, as well. I learned pretty quickly that anything I do for a family member is "water under the bridge". As such, I only help when I can afford to waste the money and/or time on them. The rest of the time, it's just messages back and forth on Facebook. It's a lot easier to deal with family members that way.

Even though you and I may disagree on some things ( actually, several things ), I still think you're a decent person. And the time/effort/money you spent on your daughter and grand-kids shows that.

Best of luck to ya.
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Blacktree
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Report this Post05-14-2011 06:13 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BlacktreeClick Here to visit Blacktree's HomePageClick Here to Email BlacktreeSend a Private Message to BlacktreeDirect Link to This Post

Blacktree

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Member since Dec 2001
 
quote
Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: That I dont get Steve...my dad now has FULL access to my bank account. His own card, his own pin...all he has to do is stop at the machine and take whatever and call me that he did it.

You're lucky. If I gave my Dad full access to MY bank account, he'd clean it out and ***** at me for not refilling it fast enough.
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cliffw
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Report this Post05-14-2011 11:24 PM Click Here to See the Profile for cliffwClick Here to Email cliffwSend a Private Message to cliffwDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by aceman:
Steve,
Have you thought about attempting voluntary or even involuntary court appointed custody of your grandchildren and give them a more stable and healthy home environment?

I have been away all day and this exact question bothered me.
 
quote
Originally posted by fierowitch:
Yes we have. Now that they are back in Massachusetts I have a lawyer friend there. After all of the $$$$$ we spent moving them here, and caring for them, we would not be able to afford it.
I feel bad for the kids and would take them but it will cost toooooo much to do it.

Gosh, so tired. Let me see if I can make a case. You were already doing it. Two freeloaders less ...
Custody fight, Child Protective Services will pay for.
Gosh, I am tired.
Heh, have my own father/daughter drama. The wife thinks I am cruel. I told her to shut up. .
I'll tell you about it later, maybe tomorrow.
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kyunderdawg
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Report this Post05-14-2011 11:28 PM Click Here to See the Profile for kyunderdawgSend a Private Message to kyunderdawgDirect Link to This Post
They owe something whether it be gratitude or cash. There's a sayin' 'round here....."no one screws you worse than family".
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Finally_Mine_86_GT
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Report this Post05-15-2011 12:50 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTClick Here to Email Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
Personally i've been screwed by my family so many times that i'm still (10 yrs later) paying off the debt they caused. I've had returns when i help friends but only bills with family. I don't talk to my family anymore because of it.

Tell em since they decided to change the lock (assuming you don't have anything in there) that they need to start making the payments because your not paying on something you have no control over. If they don't pay and you don't pay they take and auction the stuff off.

Take it as a lesson and the two of you should never fight over it. Just learn from it and apply.
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Uaana
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Report this Post05-15-2011 01:18 AM Click Here to See the Profile for UaanaClick Here to visit Uaana's HomePageClick Here to Email UaanaSend a Private Message to UaanaDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by BlackThunderGT:

I had to develop a policy to live by when it comes to family and friends.

I don’t loan money to family or friends period! If I have the money I will give it freely without condition or expiations of any funds being returned to me. If I don’t have the money I will tell them I can not help at this time (it’s OK to say no) and offer whatever advice I can to help their situation.

This policy works for me and I don’t feel any stress over money anymore since I started living by it. I recently gave my son several thousand dollars to have his motor rebuilt in his SUV. I feel good that I was able to help out when needed.

Steve, good luck I hope all works out for y’all.


Another vote for this piece of advise!
The money and vehicles I've invested in my family.. Oh well.
About the only thing that soured things was when said family member then decided to question my lifestyle and habits. I'll openly admit I probably drink too much on weekends from the safety of my home (not out driving), Yes I like women with moral issues. and have zero interest in getting married again , But I'm paying my bills on time, my work is excellent.
Just chafes me to be judged by someone who has continued to exist because of my largess.

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